Parents - trying to understand.
 

I am seeking any advice I may be able to get, which would help us to understand and help our son, and to cope with this illness ourselves.

Our 22 year old son is suffering from manic depression with sucidial thoughts/panic attacks and anxiety/and, lack of social or interaction skills. As a brief history, he was a student in college in another town. In April the walls (in which he was able to hid given the distance) came crashing completely down upon him and he is now at home with us. He was admitted to a hospital that night but sent home with medication. He has his first appointment with a psychiatrist today to begin his long term treatment - this has taken a month to accomplish!!!

We need help to understand his behavior, how to help him, how to save him and ourselfs. We just spent the last 48 hours basically on suicide watch as he kept having "bad thoughts". We are so strained, worried, and confused.

Thank you to any and all in advance.

First Mindy, Welcome to our room, its the best place for some comfort and hugs.

I don't have any answers except to say. I've been were you are at. And its not a easy road. It sounds like you have help with this. Which is something that is imperative.

Suicide watchs are very hard on all involved. Its not something that a outsider can understand. Unless they have gone through one.

So don't be discouraged if friends and other family members don't seem
to understand.
Look for a local Nami chapter, they will have a family member chapter.
Sorry I cant remember what its called. That can help you learn to cope
with the issues.

Keep coming in and talking to us. We will listen.

Donna:grouphug:

Thank you, I so appreciate your reply.

We are so lost. We have gotten him to talk to us a lot, but most of it does not make sense, is not true (true to him, but not true), or is somewhat dillusional/reckless/and none logical thinking - it seems he does not know real from non-real.....how do we respond to that? What do we say? I do not feel it is healthy to "pretend" a long with him - is that wrong of me? We do not show anger or frustration, but we do sometimes have to tag team with each other as it sometimes takes a step away and a few deep breaths to continue listening when you know this person looks like him, but is not talking like the son that you raised.

I think part of it is the medication that the hospital Dr. put him on and I am praying that once we get him established with ONE stable Dr. that will improve.

Thank you for your help and your group hug - I'll take all you have to offer!

Its not important whether you go along with him. Or just listen to what
he has to say and believe what he says.

Its just important that you listen and try to keep him safe.

Tag teaming is a good idea. That way you can take a break and also
be there together to hear what is going on.

Also I would keep a diary of what all he is saying. So the doctor has
a clue what is going on. THis will help when it comes to the medications.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

welcome to the forums.
If you don't mind sharing what meds is he taking?
He really needs to be on an antipsychotic medication if he is delusional...this will take a bit of time to get into his system but not that long. usually they might start on at a higher dose, this might make him sleepy which is a good thing to help let his mind "stop" and let him recover from the psychosis.
He is in a very critical state right now. I really feel for your family glad that you have help to care for him.
Get as much support as you can, perhaps you can find a local support group, call nami like donna said. or even the hospital or psych unit they should have that info for you.
Are you giving him his meds are they in a locked container? if he is suicidal then these pose a risk to him too.
keep posting and let us know how we can help.

(((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

When I had my first psychotic break down every thing that I was saying seemed so real. I really believed what I was thinking. but it wasn't real. I was put on haldol to begin with and that brought me down to a functioning place but for a short time they let me out too soon...and I wound up back at the hospital for more medication adjustments. IT was very difficult to go back there they literally drug me there. When I was first put in..my husband had to call the police as I was so manic they had to hand cuff me and take me away.
It is very traumatic.
Know that he can be readmitted if he becomes too much to handle that is an option for you.
I really feel for you keep posting, we are here listening and offering up advice as we best can. Know that we are just lay people and not professionals here so can only offer our insight from personal experiences.
bizi
((((HUGS))))):hug:

Thank you both --- just having someone to talk to is of comfort.

The only drug that I can think of right now by not having them in front of me is Clonaszepam, and Ritalin - there is one more, but none of them have been subscribed by the Dr. who is taking charge today - they are not working and seem to be making him worse.

His medicine is being controlled by us at this time - we cannot trust him. Also, we have taken precaution with any/everything we can think of that could harm him in our home - but the possibilities seem endless when you really think about it. We also keep his car keys, and all of ours, in our possession throughout the night hours so that he cannot get into a vehicle and leave - perhaps it sounds cruel, but he is not in the right mental state to be out and alone right now. We do not like pets in the house either, but have made exception in allowing his dog to stay in with him as it seems to give him some calming effects.

The first real Dr. appt in in 45 minutes and although we will not be in with him, I am hoping we will gain some more insight today....

Thank you guys so much again, I am glad I found this forum!

HI,
Ask him to let you attend his appointments.
Also ask for a signed release to be able to talk to his caregivers.

I hope the psychiatrist (pdoc) tapers him off ritalin. That medication is used after the person is relatively stable.

Get copies of Bipolar for Dummies for him and you and your husband.
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disord.../dp/0764584510
It explains much of what you need to know.

The next time you feel that you are doing a "watch" you need to call 911 or drive him to an ER so that he can be evaluated by a psychiatrist who can decide to admit him.
Family member are not trained in those matters.

Some times this organization can help family members: www.nami.org

The psychiatrist can help with the delusional thinking. For now, do not push him to face what is real and what is not real. It is not your job do that. More importantly, it is greatly upsetting to him. Find ways to keep him calm.
Keep stimuli low.

Does he have siblings in the house? Keep them safe while he is going through medication adjustments.

M

Hi,
Did an idiot doctor put him on an anti-depressant? That could explain why he is getting worse.

I am sorry that you and your family are going through this.
Your son can get better with the right treatment.

M

Hoping your son's appt went well. And just remember that even
if you take him to a ER or other place. It doesn't mean they will
admit him. I ran into this with my adult son's, so you are doing
the best you can.

Even in suicide watchs sometimes these kids can seem okay.
At least mine did. Luckily they were and we got them through.

So you will too.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear Mindyj
 

I'm so sorry. Are the thoughts Fear thoughts,dread,or suicide,and panic? Is he saying that he's scared,and his future seems to be lost? I'm glad that he's going to a doctor. The doctor can give him medication,and help him to sort things out,or to get through the feelings that he's having now.

I am a person who started having panic attacks when I was about 13. When I was sent to military school a couple of years later,I started dreading everything around the end of that school year. I was sent to a prep school,and I sat in the corner to eat my food. This is fear of rejection,but I could not help it because I became full of tension,and my neck was stiff,and I couldn't stand being around people.

There are allot of understanding people on this forum,and we will try to help. Brokenfriend:hug::hug::hug:

Did they give him Xanax for the panic,fear,and dread symptoms? Did they give him a anti-psychotic medicine for the delusions. Right now it sounds like he's very frightened. Please give him words of comfort at this time

There is only so much you can do,so don't take to much of his problems into your selves. It sounds like you both are doing as best that you can,and it sounds like you all love him very much.

Brokenfriend:hug::grouphug::hug::hug:

Yesterday was not a good day - he came out of his therapy session with anger and frustration. And we were so disappointmented in it ourself, as instead of getting 'on track' with what we thought would be an INTENSE treatment program, he was told to come back in a month! A monthly 50 minute visit is not going to work, I know. He later became extremely aggitated at us because of his medicine. Due to his "dark thoughts and talks" we have had control of his medicine and disperse them as needed. We have discussed this and thought he understood our posistion - he agreeded even that he could not conrol his dosages. But, he completely lost it and demanded his "drugs" and when we told him that we could not allow him to have them he actually called the cops on us - they did not allow him to have them either however based on the past history. He needs clinical in-patient, but short of an emergency guardianship (and invloluntary admittance) I know he will not go on his own.

Thanks again to all --- I just pray tonight is not another night of tears and no sleep.

Brokenfriend, When I ask him what he is sad about and what cause the panic attacks he says he does not know. His behavior is irrational to me at times, incoherent thinking, and dillusional. I almost believe there is some paranoid thinking as well, as some of his stories make so sense - as in they could not have happened. No, the pschy. yesterday did not prescribe him anything and only told him he needed to 'start weening' off the Clonazepam---this drug, I believe, is a large part of his downturn. Thank you for all of your advise and I am glad to hear that you were able to win victory over your younger year challenges!

Dmom305, THANK YOU...sometimes I do feel as if we are not doing the right thing, or enough, or on and on and on---and, I did check with the facilities over the weekend during our 'watch', you are correct they would not take him - he was not in enough danger?!?!?!

Hi,

Weaning him off the Clonazapam and leaving the other medications in place is not an appropriate way to help someone as troubled as what you describe. I hope that you can find a better psychiatrist. Do you live within driving distance of a major research medical hospital attached to a university?

One particular medication is not the cause of this or that. The mixture is what is important.

Most states take away someone's civil rights and force them in the hospital only if they are a danger to self or others. A few states have the additional criterion of the patient not being able to manage. Depending on his medical insurance, he might be able to request admittance himself.

Did the psychiatrist give detailed instructions for tapering off the Clonazapam? The process should be slow. Stopping it quickly can cause seizures and some undesirable side effects. Maybe check with a pharmacist in addition to the psychiatrist.

Paranoia and delusions are part of poorly or non-medicated bipolar. He is unable to answer "why" questions.
Do your best to keep him calm.
Bipolar for Dummies is the best book for help with bipolar.
M

Mindy

You are honestly doing a great job being just what you can. A helpful
parent. I know it from past experience.

Just keep looking into what kind of NAMI experience groups are around
there. Its one of the best organizations you will find.

I was at a fair today. And I remember the name of one of their groups
now. Its family to family. So please see if you can find them.

You can private message me also if you need to.

donna:grouphug::hug:

It sounds like he's in potential danger,and needs to be medicated at this time. It does not sound like a good time to wean himself off of any medication. You may want to change doctors,or get in touch with the State Mental Health organization in your state. They have a crises hotline. That's where I'm getting my help. Do you know who to call in your state? It sounds like he needs a anti-psychotic medication.

A long time ago they thought that taking me off Ativan would be the thing to do. They where mistaken. Years later,I'm on Seroquel,which is a anti-psychotic,and Luvox because I have OCD. I'm also on Alprazolam. It took them years,and years to diagnose my mental health problems.

I'm so sorry for the troubles that all of you are going through. Are you getting help from your State Mental Health organization. I'm so sorry. BF:hug::hug::hug:

-Mari I agree. The current mental health help that he's getting is not sufficient. He need's to be properly medicated. It sounds like the doctors that are helping him just don't get it. BF:hug::grouphug::hug:

what are his meds other than klonipin?
bizi

Is your son doing any better? It sounds like you are being patient with him,and that's very good. It's going to take patience.

I hope that you can get a better doctor for him. BF:hug::grouphug::hug:

Oh Mindy, I am so sorry to read about a family going through this difficulty. I was in your shoes so many nights, the meds, frustration with the system, general lack of team effort to get our child back to normal. I remember posting on the old forum wondering if I would ever see my old child again when she was having hallucinations and able to speak to me about what she was seeing and knowing it was not real.

As Mom, I also was in control of the meds, and had the POLICE Called several times. I was a member of the local law enforcement (ret) and frustrated with their reactions. Once a fella I went to police academy with ordered me to give the meds to dd as she is adult. I told him NO, go ahead an arrest me. He advised dd he could not force me, that she had to see the magistrate. DD was on strong pain medications, oxycotin, and horrific craving. We had to wean off for her "minds" sake. She had chronic pain condition for years, and could never get a med that managed the pain.

Our county has a fairly agressive mental health system, abit overwhelmed. There was a van that would pick up dd, there were inpatient, where she connected with some men that became issues. One a felon, another stealing her meds.

I would take the medications, look on the Internet for side affects or interactions to each other. Wish I could remember the med that did this affect, just mind would pull it out right now.

Dd was on Klonopin, I did take it for anxiety, but seemes that is a med to be on when things are calm and a plan for maintaniance is in place.
There are so many on here that know the medications inside and out, there are also those with children we care for with similar and other care needs.

The biggest hearts, and bestest hugs come from this room.... :grouphug:
IS there a NAMI organization in your area? Check the national website.

Tonight just imagine that you have a room full of friends sitting with you. There are things you can do, it seems the kids/adults that have a strong advocate are the ones that get the more aggressive care. We can be a pain in the you know what to the providers, but dang we will ask questions, camp out at door steps and make demands.

A last thing, do you and your family really feel safe, and what does your son express in a plan for if he feels he could harm himself or you?
Welcome here,
:hug:
Dianne

DiMarie

You said it well.

And much of what you said I wish I'd remembered too.

Donna:grouphug:

Mindyj Hi. We are here to help you through this. Are you,and your husband doing OK? This must be a ordeal for the whole family. BF:hug::grouphug::hug:

Concerned about you Mindy,
Hoping that you are finding network support. Keeping you and the family close in thoughts and prayers. This is such a tough time, stressful, but know you have friends that care.
Thinking of you today,
Dianne

Hi,

This blog at psychCentral has suggestions:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2011/bip...manic-episode/
Bipolar Disorder: Helping Your Loved One Manage a Manic Episode

M