Someone tell me to go to bed
 

Hi,

I need to go to sleep.

HELP.

I am on the computer instead of going to bed.
I feel like I am drunk emailing people. Maybe I'll get weirder and start "drunk" texting.

I need sleep anyway but I have worked myself up.
I am hours a way from sleep now because I am sooooooooo "UP."

I have huge lists of tasks to get through but I need sleep first. ugh


M

ARGGH! Lost posts
 

HI,

I lost a couple of posts.

. . . . annoyed.
Those two posts were the best things I ever wrote in my whole life. I might never write anything so witty and erudite again.

:(

:eek:

'still wired as all get out.

I am going to take a break and talk to you all some other time. If you see me, tell me to find something to quiet my head.

M

I hope you are sleeping now if not GO TO BED!!!!!!
bizi

Hi, Bizi,

I got to bed sometime after 8:00 am.

I do not feel well.
I feel messed up.

M

I am sorry you don't feel well. can you take the rest of the day off? what about this week? are finals over? hubbys are finished and graduation is saturday. Sohe is off for the summer.
wishing you felt better.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hey Mari. If you get this message after 12:00 AM,try to wind down. Listen to a few soothing songs that you like,and go to bed. I find that if I try to go to bed after 4 AM,I possibly may not sleep,or It might take me till 11:00 AM to sleep. My thoughts keep going if I try to sleep after 4:00AM.

I watch Star Gate SG 1,when it's on the Syfy channel at 2:00AM. It's on tonight,and sometimes it doesn't come on at all. Science Fiction involving Fictional space flight relaxes me. Then I can go to sleep.

There has been less space science fiction recently,and I'm trying to adjust. As a matter of fact,Cable/satellite TV is turning into a bunch of strange TV shows that I find to be not worth looking at. I thought that some of these shows where interesting at first,but now they are multiplying. Swamp people,Fact,or faked,and a bunch of these other programs are not what I want to see on TV. Then they show these programs back,to back. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Instead of putting Star Gate SG-1 on,they put a tattoo program on in it's place. The Channel guide said it was Star Gate SG-1. I was very disappointed. BF:mad:

Steve,
I hear you about television. It stinks when we find something that works and then they move it or take it off the air.

Bizi,
We are out of class but doing tons of assessment paper work for SACS and stuff.
Perhaps by next week I will feel finished. That is my hope.


I am exhausted. Last night I had a physical issue added to already not feeling good. I am weak and feeling "unsteady" mood-wise.

M

Well I hope the assessment stuff will be done soon. tomorrow is friday so at least you can hopefully feel better mood wise.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Mari
 

:Heart::Heart::Heart:
'Keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of hugs.

I hope you can rest better tonight, and feel better tomorrow.

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

waves

Hope sleep finds you tonight Mari. Sometimes it is a real rip of a night, to 8AM to get into a better sleep pattern the next night. I hate going to bed as the sun goes up, and it seems so few hours of sun when I finally wake up.

Lately instead of the computer, I make myself put it away and turn on the TV real low for back ground noise. Hate the silence.....Sounds like too much clutter on your mind to let you rest. Hope it is better soon,

OTHERWISE< I will call and sing a lullabye...that could be nasty, from what my younger one recalls.
UMPH, I thought I use to sing pretty good in Choir. :rolleyes:

Nighty Nite, Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite as my Dad use to tell me.

Mari. I know exactly what you mean. When I started writing emails,some of them where lost. I wrote some very intelligent,well rounded,with sound reason messages to my friends,and some of them got lost. I would cringe on the inside thinking,"What a loss." Then I'd feel agitated. I hate loosing messages in that way. BF:hug::hug::hug:

something wrong
 

Hi,

I do not know what is wrong.
I am sooooo messed up that words cannot explain.
I have been sad crying. I feel agitated. I could break a few heads right now. Maybe I am angry too.



M

are the issues with your father being stirred up and making you feel helpless?
Maybe because you love him and are worried and feel so helpless.
bobby

Hoping you are starting to sleep better now.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

That was hard for you to talk to your dad like that....I am sure you felt drained. and you probably had anger to fuel your call desiring information from him. hOpe you are more settled after some rest/sleep which ever comes first.
bizi:hug:

Hi,

I feel so off. I do not know what is going on.

Worrying about my father of course made things worse.

M

Day 1 May 14
 

Hi,

I am going to try raising my Gabapentin to see if it can help more with depression without causing inconvenient side effects.

I have been taking less than half of a 300 mg capsule once a day.

-->Tonight I took maybe half or more than half of a 300 mgs capsule.
Day 1 is March 14, 2002


M

this sounds like a good plan.
I wish you felt better.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi Mari
 

Hope you get some sleep. It is critical that you do. Just drop things, and head for bed. Try a soothing sented bath, or shower, this helps to relax you. Get the rest you need. ginnie

I have stayed inside the whole day (and night)
 

Hi,

On Monday I went to the gym to use the sauna and felt relaxed the whole rest of the day. I have not felt relaxed since then.
The Gabapentin made me sleepy so I did sleep off and on during the day time Tuesday. Anxious and sleepy now.

Tuesday night I increased the dose to most of the 300 mgs capsule --- maybe four fifths (4/5) of the capsule for approx 240 mgs. I expect to be sleepy tomorrow.

'Probably should sleep soon.
Tdoc is calling for our phone appointment Wed afternoon.

M

__________________
Day 2 is March 15, 2012

happy that your monday was relaxed from the gym.
maybe you will get to sleep more evenly?
wishing that you do....
bizi

Hi,
Tonight (Thursday) is the third night in a row I took most of the Gabapentin 300 mgs capsule (perhaps 240 mgs.) I am staying home and sleeping off and on because the meds has knocked me out and I do not sleep. I watch some tv or lie in bed. Sleep is ragged because I sleep completely in the daytime.

In the phone session tdoc and I talked about my father. Also about music making me sad. I don't think I explained the music thing to her because her solution is a little goofy.
I called the exterminator over because we have a new kind of bug. I saved some to show him and had them in a zip lock baggie for when he came. He said they look like "store weevils." Yuck. He will take my zip lock back to the lab and give me a call Friday.
M

__________________


Day 4 is Mach 17, 2012

bugs in the kitchen
 

Hi,

Hubby and I found weevils in a deep cupboard where we keep lots of rice, dried peas, lentils, oatmeal and all that kind of stuff. We found the weevils had eaten their way through a bag of split peas and a bag of black imported sweet rice and spread themselves into other parts of the kitchen.

We spent three or four hours cleaning the kitchen and throwing away lots of stuff in that cabinet except what had been put in plastic jars. I am a little creeped out.
I do not think I will eat any grains, peas, lentils, or such for a while. It is too disgusting to consider . . . .

I might go to the store to buy some potatoes.

M

oh dear
 

oh Mari! :hug::hug::hug:

i am so sorry! :(:(:( that is really creepy. :eek: and crawly. :crazy:

i've found bugs before and it is very grossing out. in the case you describe, i would actually suggest emptying the kitchen and doing a disinfestation. however well you cleaned it would only take one or two insects to re-infect anything you bring in there... :o

considerations for future storage:

i used to keep things i bought in bulk in glass containers (I reused large jars with plastic lids like those of Tang and instant coffee).

my mother keeps unopened carton/paper containers in plastic bags with twisty ties. she keeps open packages of flours and starches this way too.

Doing these things, if any item has been contaminated (it can happen, with anything you buy, anywhere), when the bugs hatch they will be confined.

i am so sorry. it is very discomfiting to find even a single bag of "food that moves." :Noooo". eeekhhhh.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

oh mari, I am sorry for the bugs, yes that would creep me out too.
sounds like you are on top of it and doing what you need to do.
I know it is a PITA to do that and you would rather be doing something else, glad that hubby is helping.
((((HUGS))))
*wish you slept better
bizi

Oh. Not so good.
I MIGHT give this dose (4/5 of a 300 mgs capsule) one more day. I am getting LESS sleep now than I was before I messed with the dose.
Anxiety still high.
I do not know how the depression is. I am too fatigued to notice.

I am getting two or three hours of sleep here and there.
I feel awful.

M

It sounds awful!
(((((HUGS)))))
I am sorry.....
bizi

Hi Mari
 

I so hope that you can find a moments peace today. You have had an awful few days here. I can tell how upset you are. I wish that this day, that you can find one moment of joy where you can rest your heart. I am thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers. ginnie:hug:

Dear Mari - gabapentin and recent ickiness
 

Dear Mari...

the experience with the bugs would have probably creeped me right into a hotel room for a week and had my skin crawling. even if you don't connect the two, it seems entirely plausible that the less sleep and high anxiety could be related to that experience and i'm afraid it could take some time to calm down.

i'd suggest going back to your regular dose of gabapentin. try increasing it again when you feel better. i'd also suggest getting the 100's in order to do the increase. i guess mdoc never gave those to you...

hearing of splitting caps into 4/5 scares me. I would advise not splitting caps by smaller proportions than 1/2. Since you discard the excess each time, you do not even have a "known total" over a certain period. You are not working with exact OR consistent dosages at all - which is even scarier.

This is important
-- in general,
-- themoreso for increasing or decreasing (evaluate benefit/side effects)
-- even more considering how sensitive you are to the drug!

When i split a cap, i take half initially, and the full remaining contents later. Even if the split was imprecise, upon taking the second dose, I am certain to have taken the exact amount that was in the cap, spread across two doses.

With 100's, you could get 50mg out of them and be able to manage increases by 50mg, which seems a small enough quantity to work with (being 1/6th of a 300mg). If your mdoc will not prescribe the 100's, please consider requesting them from pdoc who knows you and perhaps will understand better.

:Heart: I just want you to have the best results possible... process is important.

=======================

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. I wish I could do something to help besides preach about meds (perhaps helpful, perhaps depressing too). Please let me know if there is.

I send you a rainbow over water... i hope it lightens your spirit a little and maybe brings a smile... :)

http://www.entheosweb.com/images/pho.../rainbow_6.jpg

(((:heartthrob: hugs :heartthrob:)))

~ waves ~

Hi,
Doing the math and the calendar dates is hard. I have many rewrites and many typos that get through. Here is my med journal entry for Sunday, May 20, 2012.

I first raised the dose on Monday, May 15, 2012.
I again raised the dose on Tuesday, May 16 2012 to 4/5 of the 300 mgs capsule.

This is six niights of taking the 4/5 of the 300 mgs capsule.
M

crying about cognition problems
 

Hi,

I spent two and a half hours writing a short email for work stuff with Work Buddy. I cannot send it yet because it reads as if I am a confused mess.

Hubby left for work "reminding" me that a roof inspector is coming at 10:00 AM. W H A T ? :mfr_wha: ! ! ! ! ! ! !
I was planning to sleep.

I am so messed up. The Gabapentin dose is making things worse. I am cutting the dose back to my normal anxiety / depression / sleep problems.
M

Dear Mari

An increase of gabapentin can cause cognition problems in the best of scenarios. i am glad you cut back.

i don't know if more can work for you, but i am not convinced that it wouldn't - i really feel the increase process used here had too much imprecision. it's not the math that worries me. it's the actual amounts you end up taking. I think you could try again at some point, but i would use strictly 100mg capsules to do so.

Well, i hope that after a day or so back at your usual dose you feel much better! :o :hug::hug::hug:

i hope the roof guy does not require much attention and does not stay long.

if you are still battling with the email i'd take a break from it - do something completely different and non-verbal, and go back to it later. if it can wait until you've napped, even better.

hang in there. gabapentin doesn't stay in circulation long. you will feel better soon. :circlelove:

~ waves ~

I am sorry you are struggling so.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I do not understand. I understand that the med leaves after a short time.
My cognition problems have increased since I raised the dose. It does not feel that cognition comes and goes based on when I took the med --- only that it has completely disappeared for all the time.
M

Dear Mari

It sounds like the drug may clear more slowly for you than most people. That would explain why once a day dosing works, and why the lower dose works too. All the same, I think once you go back to your original dose, the problems should remit within a day or two. That is what I meant by "you should feel better soon." (With typical clearance, one should feel better within hours.)

Does that help?

Ok, but, please try to rest now. That is what can help you most right now.

((((hugs))))

~ waves ~

I hate everything right now. I feel like I am going to be crummy and messed up and grumpy for the rest of my life.

Well, grumpy is my fav.... :o

So, unless you feel "bad" for feeling grumpy, I can love grumpy Mari all life long :)

Mari... Im the less capable person to tell you this, but, remember life is made of different "moments", so, what we are feeling now, the way we are acting now, wont last forever... so, tomorrow you can be happy Mari....

http://toyscouter.com/wp-content/upl...-the-Dwarf.jpg

Please don't look to far to the future...just do one day at a time. maybe you can get some rest after the roof guy is done, hopefully today was the only day of work...I hope that is true.
bizi:hug:

having a really hard time