Thumper
 

When I was a child, my favorite book was Thumper...the rabbit in Bambi, who had the habit of thumping his hind foot as a means of expressing his feelings. I would beg my mother to read and reread this book and hear the admonition "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"

My mother on the other hand, was a firm believer that "the squeaky wheel, gets the oil".

Somewhere in there is how I try to operate this slippery slope I find myself on. I've been quiet because I have nothing nice to say right now.

I was going to bump up the old Assisted Suicide/Right to Die thread but I saw no point in it. As I have said here and on BT years ago that I am a firm believer in the quality of our lives. My dear friend who is dying struggled with this vs chemo for her rapidly progressing cancer...her husband, who loves her dearly, persuaded her to try chemo and a new test drug...the results of which were ghastly and she ended up hospitalized and in agony.

The things we do for "love". Went out with two couples last night and I really tried to "be there" but really wasn't. My dr. doesn't want me to isolate myself so I try to go, do, be things that I can't, things that stress me.
People who know me, mean well and they want to help. For the most part they don't "get it"...how could they..neither do I.

I just wanted to explain my absence here. Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

For Alffe
 

http://dl9.glitter-graphics.net/pub/...k1tm8odq40.gif

love you!!!!!!

You're allowed to be human, dear friend :Heart:

I love it when you're a squeaky wheel... but when it sucks the life blood and energy out of you... well, then you must take care of you first!

Do the bare minimum... listen to your heart... and be there for your girlfriend.

xo Addy

Alffe...

I get it.

:hug:
Abbie

:grouphug:

(((((Alffe)))))

think I may have shared this here before....Many years ago my dear Aunt found out she was terminally ill. The drs gave her 6 to 8 months.

She made a decision that I will admire her for as long as I live

She decided that she would go when she was DONE. Not when the medical powers that be decided she was done.

Early in her final months she started hoarding meds, rather than taking them as prescribed she would take them ONLY when the pain was unbearable.

She gave me the extra pain meds to hold until she was ready.........I will take our little secret to the grave.

She passed with dignity, she knew her family and she was still herself, her family can remember her in a better way then perhaps they may have if she had suffered.

That was her wish and I was honored to be able to help her go "the way SHE wanted" I won't say it easy but I was happy for her!



(((((Alffe)))))

I really appreciate all of your support. Sometimes dying, like living is about choices and I understand that it's hard to accept someone else's choice when it differs from your own. Throw in LOVE and it can really cause chaos.

As I told one of my friends daughters, having the time to make some of those choices can be a mixed blessing...different than a sudden, unexpected death..(Michael comes to mind).

My friend liked her older daughters suggestion that she donate her body to the IU Med center for research and wants to do that. Her younger daughter can't stand that idea because she works at that hospital and knows what they do to the bodies. (she of course doesn't say that to her mom..just her siblings.)

"The Next Place" can't come soon enough!

Hugs for the room. :grouphug:

I'm bumping up this thread for one who may have missed it and is struggling. :grouphug:

My friend continues....on and on. Her daughters word is "horrific".:(

so when dose the guilty feeling go away????:(:(:(
I thought I would be okay and I am but the guilty feeling why them and not me and all that when dose that guilty shadow storm cloud move on ???

My acceptance of what I couldn't change, or understand, was a long time coming. Please be kinder to yourself dear friend. :hug:

Yes that guilty feeling. Wow. More later. Mom keeps asking why I am typing. Need to stay present. My thoughts are with those watching a person dying. Whether that person chooses treatment or no treatment. Tough.

My dear friend finally died last night. :( We are going down for her funeral..leave Monday, probably home Tues. night. Am so anxious to get my arms around her children and learn how traumatized they are by what they have gone through...hard enough to lose your mom under the best of circumstances...this was imho, the worst. Two of our daughters will go with us....they grew up together and that will help. :grouphug:

((((((((((((((Alfeemom ))))))))))))))))))
you know we have chatted on f.b. . but not here so much. so yeah my best long time friend since middle school had Alzheimer she was dx with it a couple years ago :( . I promised to keep a secret plan and I kept it. and will forever. tomorrow will be 1 month since she committed suicide . She was 44 one year younger then I . this is really hard :(:( to do or get threw for me right now .
Please know and believe I am praying for you and all those your dear friend left behind :hug::hug: I believe your friend is free and in a much better peaceful heavenly place.
Love you Alffe :hug:
PEACE
BMW

That is really early onset Alzheimers...:( You are the best friend a person could have...she knew who to trust. Please do not feel any guilt about this secret. It is just so wrong that we cannot make those decisions for ourselves. That is has to be a secret. :grouphug:

I do NOT feel quilt about that. honestly I feel like dancing that she didnt let the illness cage her and torture her and ALL those around her . She moved back home 8 months ago to help her mom with her dad who has Alzheimer also only further along then she was . I am very hmmm I feel guilty doing things we liked to do . I feel guilty for my life and my kids and how she didnt get such a great shake of the dice in life. out kids the same age my oldest is in her last year at Duke . her oldest is now gaurdin of her younger bro..who has sever downs syndrom. my youngest is in last year of high scholl her boy has downs and is at a 5 yr old level. I feel guilty so badly that all my life she helped me .. and what did I do ??? I could not do one damn thing . :( I better stop before I fully unload ..I need to get ready for work. Thanks so much Alfee . I am so very very deeply sorry for your loss. even tho I seem to be into my issues ..I am dearly sorry for your loss:hug::hug:
PEACE
BMW.

Oh dear friend...I also feel guilty for my life..that I am still here with my family while she is gone...I think those are normal ways to feel when anyone we love, passes first.

I have a card from her on my fridge..she sent it last winter and it's two old woman, their arms linked, both wearing straw hats and their noses covered with sun block..and it says, "Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime."

And inside she wrote..."Aren't we proof of that?? The picture - I can see it coming- Ugh!!!" Love ya See ya soon. Sheila

And now we won't. :(

Well, if you read the wonder thread, you know I was wondering about your dear friend, Alffee... and now I know the answer to my wonder.... she is flying with the angels now.

:grouphug: