Friends, please talk to me
 

HI,
My best friend for the past 30 years is in ICU and stable right now.

She did out patient surgery this morning for carpel tunnel syndrome. Something went wrong when she was in the recovery room.
Her brother told me that the doctor told him she has "pulmonary edema."

Her brother told me not to go the the hospital. He will stay in touch with me.

M

Oh Mari!! I am so sorry! I will keep her in my prayers, Oh Mari, I am so sorry, I'm here, I wish I could hug you....Hang in there, they're doing all they can right now to help her...Thank heavens she's stable right now. :(

Mari

I'm so sorry too. And I'm here too if you need to talk. I will say some
prayers also. Let us know what you need.

Donna:grouphug:

My heart is reaching out to yours
 

Mari....

I'm not too good with words right now...

Please know that my heart and prayers go out to you, your friend, and her family!!!

Please keep us updated.
:hug:
Abbie

I appreciate you
 

Thank you. :) :) :)
She has uncontrolled diabetes. She probably was not a candidate for surgery.

I am driving the 25 minutes to the hospital to see her. The hospital person on the phone said that for ICU I can come at any time.


M

I am so sorry...she is where she needss to be and I know that you will be relieved to see her.
sending good thoughts your way.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Mari I'm so sorry to hear about this. It sounds like a life long friendship. I hope that she pulls though this. BF :smileypray::hug::hug::hug:

Thank you.
 

Hi,

I am so glad I drove to the hospital to see her. I feel better. I prayed and rubbed her feet and legs and stomach --- and made sure not to interfere with the machines and drips. I talked to her as if she really could hear what I was saying and told her to make a full recovery. (They have her heavily sedated.)
Her brother asked me on the phone if she looked "comfortable." I said, "Yes, she looks comfortable."
What else was I going to say.

The nurse was adjusting the machines and drips and keeping track of the computer. I felt that the nurse was doing a good job. The nurse and I spoke a bit. I thanked her.

M

thanks for the update, glad that you went.
bizi

I believe she heard every word you spoke with your friend!!

I talked with my Ashley once, but my family was there and talked
to her constantly!! We believe she heard us as at different times
she did make faces and stick her tongue out at family who were talking about her. (this happened when she still had minimal brain waves)

Keep talking to & touching her!! She's still inside the shell!!
She knows you are there!!!!
:hug:
Abbie

We definetely listen AND FEEL when we are sedated, in coma, etc, so it was a georgeous thing what you did Mari :) I really
Hope and pray she can recover soon ! :hug:

I'm glad that you went,and saw her. Bless her. You have been friends for so long. I hope that she pulls through this. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I am so sorry. how awful. it sounds as if she is in very good hands. you must be so glad you visited her.I believe she felt your hands and heard you deep down. You have known her for so long.
take care
bobby

Sending more thoughts, I believe you can keep visiting and giving comfort.

I also believe we hear in our sleep and coma's.

I thiink you should take music she loves, and scripture, or poems.

Things that might be comforting.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Hi,
 

Hi,

Her brother says her numbers have improved today. He was in a positive mood . .. . .he expects her to get better.

I might not go visit her today. I am going to see how I feel later.

M

Mari Just checking up to see how you,and your friend are doing. Was she at the hospital already when the pulmonary edema occurred,or was she there for the carpel tunnel syndrome? BF:hug::hug::hug:

Mari I see that it's raining down there again. There's a really bad storm to the South of you over the ocean. Hang in there. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Oh Mari, I feel so bad for you and your friend. Such a routine surgery, it usually is so short, wow, I feel terrible for her to have a side effect. Glad to hear about the update, and they seem to be letting her body heal without her fighting tubes to get rid of the edema.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I pray her health is much better.
Hugs to you
Di :hug:

Hi, Steve,

She was not in the hospital for the surgery.
She did the surgery outpatient.

At some point they had to use the paddles twice to get her heart to a normal rhythm.
I might not ever get a 100% explanation for what was going on.

M

Dear Di,

When I saw her last night, she had 10 active drips and was sedated so she would not fight the breathing tube. Maybe I should get dressed and get in the car and see her tonight.

M

Hi Mari
 

I am so sorry to learn that your friend is in trouble. Please keep talking to her, and being by her side. I believe too that when you are not "awake" you still feel those around you. You are a good friend to stay by her side. I know how difficult it is to have a friend that is sick. I will keep both you and her in my thoughts and prayers. This whole site, all your friends are with you too in spirit. ginnie:hug::grouphug:

Mari

Just checking in to see how you are doing. I personally think, you might
feel better going to check on her. But that is up to you. Do you have
a number to call and check on her. WHen you aren't there.

I would do that too, even a hospital number that you can call to see how
she is doing. Maybe her brother can give them permission to share some
details, like if she is resting comfortably with you.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Hi again Mari
 

Dmom is right. Sometimes you can call the nurses station, and they can tell you how your friend is doing. Most of the nursing staff is really good about this, and they will know you care. ginnie

Hi,

Yes. I can ask the brother to allow me to get phone updates. Good idea.

When I went to her room, her brother was there. I suggested that he drive me back to my friend's place so that we could put together a list of her current meds to give to the ICU nurse to give to the doc.

He and I talked in the car. I realized that he had been feeling very alone -- it was good that he had me to talk to. The older brother is supposed to fly in Thursday night.

My friend's numbers are improving. She is going to be ok.

M

Mari I see what you mean. Wow. They had to use the paddles. I'm glad that she survived. I hope that she lives a long life. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Oh my goodness! I am so glad she's okay for now, that sounds like she's having a terrible time. I am so glad you were able to go there and be there for her brother, I am sure he appreciated that. Take care of yourself Mari, and thank you for the updates. :hug:

Mari

I think at this time you are there more for her brother than her. And I believe this is what she would want. So I believe she is very happy.

I am so glad she is going to be okay.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

thank goodness she is going to be okay. what a scare. you are an angel.
bobby

Hi Mari
 

I am so glad your friend is going to be OK. I can't wait until you two can catch up on things and have a cup of tea together. ginnie

oh dear
 

Dear Mari,

i'm so sorry for what happened with your friend's surgery, and for what she is going through. also for what you have been going through. :Heart: you are a true friend and have been a real trouper. i am sure she felt your energy when you visited her. i am so glad she is improving but i will still send her healing vibes and good thoughts. sending you many hugs and good thoughts too.
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

i am sorry i was not here for you before, when you were scared, and you really needed your friends. i am glad and relieved, that so many others were here, and that you were not alone. :grouphug:

~ waves ~

Hey Mari... hope your friend is improving every day !!! :hug:

Hi,
The nurse said good things last night. That nurse also told us that another nurse on the floor knows my friend from one of my friend's groups.

I am going to take two days off from visiting my friend. Her two brothers and father are checking on her. I might wait until tomorrow to call the younger brother to ask for an update.

After three nights visiting at the hospital, I was starting to get stressed.

M

Mari

With both brothers, and the father there. It will be good for you to take
a break. You can keep checking in.

I'm just glad she is improving.

Donna:grouphug:

sending good thoughts
 

glad to hear that your friend is continuing to improve, and that she is in caring hands.

your own needs are important. i am glad you are looking after yourself. i hope the stressed feeling wears off quickly.

sending good thoughts and hugw. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Mari,
keep listening to your body.....
Your friend is in good hands and exactly where she needs to be.
You are a good friend and she knows this.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

Hi Mari,

just wondering if you have any updates on how your friend is doing?

'Continuing to good thoughts to her and to you as well.

I hope you are feeling less stressed :heartthrob:

~ waves ~

Exhausted and trying not to be exasperated.
 

Hi,


Monday around 7:00 pm she was moved from the ICU to a "cardiac step down" unit where she will be monitored but not as closely watched as she was in the ICU.

I was with her for 4.5 hours. She was not able to walk when I first got there. She was also very concerned that the nurses on the new floor would not be capable of / interested in dealing with her.
I calmed her first by doing her physical therapy with her so she could start working on strength after lying in bed for so long. We talked. I even washed her hair and so on. She was able to walk around in the room a little with my assistance.
.
.
.

++++++++++++++++++++++
Deleted some. I am soooooooooo annoyed. I do not know if I can deal with her.

Your friend must be feeling better to refuse treatments.
I am so glad that she has you on her side. That was so helpful of you to wash her hair. you are a good friend to her. Try to find some boundaries so you are not swept up in all of this. 4.5 hours is a long time.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

Sending you thoughts Mari.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Dear Mari

Sorry for that experience. I agree 4.5 hours is a long time. I understand being frustrated... It's hard watching someone you love behave in the ways you described.......

I wonder if you can search in your own past for something that helps you empathize or at least relate to her current behavior. Better yet, seek inner boundaries, and seek peace with your own feelings of frustration.

She is in good hands. If it is just better for you not to deal with her it's quite alright. It doesn't make you a bad friend.

Oxygen mask principle. Be your own best friend, first.

~ waves ~