lonely
 

I don't know where else to go, I just can't stop crying - I'm just so alone, I don't even know what to type - I don't know where to begin, I know everyone here "knows" and copes in their own way, but I just can't find the strength to carry on anymore, I live alone - I have nobody to talk to................I don't know what to do........

Windseeker,
I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. A concussion can play with your mind. It is very common to get depressed after having a brain injury. It is also not unusual to feel lonely.

Because of the injury, we are not able to do as much and we can"t tolerate noise, crowds, lots of people. What I can say is that I have gone through very depressing days where I felt so overwhelmed.

Just remember that nothing stays the same, and things will get better. In the meantime, we are here to listen and to help if we can.

But is there someone that you could talk to? If you are feeling so bad, could you speak with a therapist? Or a good friend? I think in one of your posts you had said that you moved home. I guess that now you are living by yourself. Could you speak to a parent or a sibling?

Another thing that I have found helpful when I have been the most sad is to make myself go out for a walk. Exercise of any kind helps.

Let us know how you are doing. I am so sorry that you are going through this. But things will get better.
ShellyK

it will be ok, just hang in there
 

Hello windseeker 242,

I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. I know that pcs can be the most terriblest, awfulest, horriblest thing ever, but it will get better!

You are not alone. I pray that you will get a few moments of peace and rest even now.

What helped me through the worst times was just to encourage myself. Also, this spa music is really helpful. The cd is on itunes.. my fav song is 'senses come alive' but they have this one on youtube. I hope that your headache is not too bad where you can't listen to light music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4Dh_HkBi_M

Have a good night!

If you are able to get out and about, see if there is a TBI/PCS support group in your area. http://www.biausa.org/ may have a contact for local affilliate in your area.

And if nothing else, just keep talking to us here; someone will usually respond, and just having a supportive post can make you feel better, it does me.

Thanks for you words of support - I consoled my self by trying to draw a bath - unfortunately I was out of hot water so I spent an hour ferrying hot water from the stove to the tub. The monotony and challenge helped get my mind off it.

I moved home for the month of march after the accident in Feb, but then I moved back in with my friends, being around people was helpful - unfortunately i started smoking again so I decided to leave that environment (bachelor pad) and move in on my own.

Maybe its the nicotine withdrawal or maybe the lack of people to keep me distracted but everything seems to be hitting my all at once. Even my symptoms feel worse.
I had a girlfriend who would have given me support but I broke up with her because of distance and I didn't want her to see me like this - I used to be a very confident athletic person - I regret it now and its far to late to fix things with her - she has moved on with her life and I don't blame her.

I live in the third world so there are no support groups or anything like that.
People say it gets better and I did see some improvement in the first 2 months but it feels like my recovery has stagnated. I am scared that it will never get better and I will never get to have a normal life.

The accident was four months ago, so I know I'm early into it I guess but I just don't see an improving trend.

My family are not much help - they believe I'm just depressed and that I need to get back to work.

"Anytime I'm down in life I work hard and achieve something and I feel better" says my father

I wish he could understand that I can't do that - that the act of doing that (whether or not I achieve the task at hand) just makes my symptoms worse.

This has turned into quite the rant........thanks for your time and your support, I really need it.
Thank you Scott - Shelly - post concussion and lightrail
Lightrail - I can only hope things turn out as well for me as they did for you - I think about your story every day.

Windseeker,

From what you said, it sounds to me like you need someone to live with you so you will not be all alone. Is there anyway that you could invite one of the friends that you were living with to come and stay with you? Would that work?

It is hard to be alone when you are feeling so sick.

We are always here to listen to you and to help in any way that we can.

Besides the horrible loneliness, what are your worst symptoms? Someone here is bound to have suggestions for you.

Is there anyone in your religious group that you could talk to - someone like a chaplain maybe?

I wish I could think of something else to suggest. But just keep writing, and I know that people will try to help.

Also, the way that PCS seems to heal many times is that you have a period where you may get stuck or even relapse, and then things move on again. You are young. That is in your favor.

No one can tell how long symptoms can last. The best advice that I was given was to try to take it day-to-day.

Let us know how you are doing.
ShellyK

I can move back in with them in about a month or two - I need that time to be away from the temptation to smoke. Also I have air conditioning where I am now and its HOT where I'm from. I am an atheist so no religion for me ;)
So as it stands - I'm alone for the time being.

Symptoms that have resolved already:
Word Finding
Slowed thinking
Speech impediment

I feel that my cognitive issues have resolved themselves - I feel sharp in my mind. It's the physical issues that are depressing me

Current Symptoms:
I feel like I'm in a dream all the time
My vision feels off - I can see fine but watching TV or anything with a changing perspective (rotation or rapid zooming) makes me feel like I'm rotating or zooming.
Busy environments overwhelm me quite quickly
Physical exertion makes everything worse.

I've hardly worked a day in the last 4 months. I spend most my time on the couch or in bed. Perhaps I'm resting too much? I do still play video games and they don't make me feel worse. I don't know if this helps or hurts.

Part of me want to start walking for 20 or 30 mins every other day but I'm scared that it might make things worse.

as i stated in my original post - I think my emotional issues are being made worse by my nicotine/marijuana withdrawal and the combined loss of conversation. Obviously I'm not certain but I was somewhat stable when I was living with my friends where as now - I can't go a day without crying.

I waiting to hear back about visit to a neuro - This would be my first time seeking treatment since the accident - I don't think he can do anything for me but perhaps a scan would give me some piece of mind.

This all is very strange for me - I'm not one to ask for help during crisis in my life. It's been a very humbling experience - I really hope it will all pass like a bad dream and I'll be able to hit the ground running with my life again.

As always - Thanks! This forum is the only source of hope I have

Hi Windseeker,
I'm sorry for lonliess/sadness you are experiencing.....I can relate to to it. It sounds like you have been given some good advice from others on this forum.

I just wanted to agree with what Scott in Fenton said, and let you know we are here for you whenever you need to talk, vent, rant, cry, laugh etc.

I know from experience how lonely and isolating this injury can be. Family, friends just can't quite understand. I have heard similar things to what your dad said, by well-meaning family members and it hurts to hear.....even if it's not true.

Depression can also be made worse by certain medicines (or sometimes lack of medicine) lack of sleep, lack of nutrients, fluctuations in brain chemicals etc. I am 8 months into recovery and just now getting referred to a specialist for the depression. It is hard to ask for help sometimes....but it beats the alternative.

Sending good thoughts your way. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. :hug:

Maybe start it out slow - 10 minutes. See how you do for a week or two. If you are good increase by 5 minutes. Make the increases for this and anything very gradual. If it makes any symptoms worse back off to the place it was ok.

I have walked for as little as 5 minutes just to do something but make sure I don't trigger symptoms.

I just wanted to give you some.............................................. .......
 

((((((Huge, humungous hugs))))))


Phyllis :hug:

thinking of you and sending hugs your way. everything everyone said here is FANTASTIC; i can't think of adding anything else.

I hope you continue to post and find the support you need here on the forum!!!

:grouphug:

I'm so sorry to hear about your loneliness! :hug:

I understand a little as recovering from the injury I sustained has made me very lonely too. Luckily, I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend who has stuck by me through this whole ordeal. I can't imagine what this would be like without him. :(

Could you consider getting a kitty to help comfort you? Or a calm aging dog that needs to be rescued and doesn't need as much care as a young pup?

I've considered getting a pet myself to help through the lonelies, but it's just not feasible right now... I wish there was a service that could bring a fluffy animal to people dealing with major health problems for just a few hours at a time. Then we could get the benefits of petting a kitty or dog, but we wouldn't have to take care of them. :o

Windseeker-hang in there. It DOES get better. I'm so sorry that you are having a tough time. Have your friends and family read up on tbi and it might help explain to them what you are going thru. You aren't "alone" even if you are alone. We've all been there.

Hi windseeker
 

What you just did, by writing to us will help. You are not alone. People on this site will care. You will make some friends, and find others who have your condition. Don't give up or give in, NT will be here for you. Just keep writing out your feelings and know that others here experience some of the same issues. In fact I don't know anyone who hasn't been on a crying spree now and then. Things get overwhelming at times with medical conditions. I wish I were you neighbor, so that you have someone by you. I came here several years ago, really in a bad way. I got help here, and never left. You are welcome to talk to me anytime. I am F and 60 years old. I have cervial issues, and a bunch of other icky stuff. I can tell you from experience, I was happy to meet the people on NT. Keep in touch. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie

I know about the crying and being alone. I've been going through a really rough time lately.

I actually went to doctor for antidepressant end of April. Zoloft made me feel messed up; quit taking it within a week. Went back Monday and am now trying Prozac. I NEVER had a hint of depression before my TBI.

I also broke up with my boyfriend 3 days ago. I do have my 17 year old daughter, 21 year old son and his wife living with me so I'm not alone but I am in a way.

Hope you feel better tomorrow.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. It's tough not having anyone around but I am so uplifted and grateful for you all responding. Even if its just black letters on a white screen - It's something.

I hope you can make it through with support from your family.

I felt a bit better the day after my break down the other night but It seems I have picked up a stomach bug - I woke up vomiting this morning - I'm having other GI issues so I happy to say I think its something I ate - not my head. I was a little bit nervous about at first but it makes more sense that I got a stomach bug.

I wish I could get answers and give answers to everyone - It's very scary and difficult not knowing when or if I will ever get better - I hear of people pulling through at 6 month - 8 months etc and I wonder what that feels like.

It's like when you have a flu, you feel so crappy its hard to remember what normal was. I feel like I don't have a very bad case in that I am basically headache free but 4 months in and here I am still. I suppose its hard to gauge.

I watch "sad" movies. They have always made me feel better, It's not an approach for everyone I guess - but I find them closer to reality, they usually make me rethink what's really valuable in life.

I just watched Things We Lost in The Fire

It was very moving. Perhaps not for everyone but it reminded me of this forum and all the strangers here who band together. A little bit of love goes a long way.

As always - Thanks - I'm having a tough time holding on and this is my only sanctum.