How Can I help friends and family Understand?
 

I posted a thread on here called I am frightened.
Now it's more I am frustrated.

No one wants to hear anyone moan.

However since my TBI 2 weeks ago, I cannot focus my sight, cannot think, cannot put words together, cannot cry or laugh or express myself or feel alive.

I don't want visitors, but I feel alone.

Last night husband invited friends for dinner.

Didn't tell me.

They expected me to react as I always do and get on with it so I did.

No one can see what is happening inside.


-Exhausted
-In pain
-Frustrated
-Angry I tried to explain to my husband and friends how bad this is. They laughed at me and told me to go to bed because I was moody and clearly tired!!

I cannot cry, yet feel so alone and sad that even my closest friends will not listen.

I tried to tell my husband this morning how I feel but he says I am an embarrassment.

Today I am left alone to "rest", without my baby daughter again.
Please someone help me I feel like I am falling into a hole that I cannot climb out of.

peachy,

I am sorry to hear you are being ignored. There is a video online that may help your family understand if you can get them to watch it.

It is on YouTube at
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Xso...ature=youtu.be

There are six segments that take about an hour total. It is called "You Look Great" and is about how somebody who has had a concussion can look great but have serious symptoms.

I hope you can get someone to watch it.

My best to you.

Thank you Mark x

Mark I just watched the video link u sent me.

Thank you so much

Similar situation
 

I had a stroke in November and the hardest part was dealing with my friends who expectd me to be normal. I was let go from hospital and they thought that since I was out I was ok. They didn't get that I could not speak right, slurred everything couldnt' walk and couldn't understand anything they wer saying becuz my hearing was bad to begin with but when my brain stopped working I couldn't "figure out" what they were saying like I used to. They thought since I LOOKED like me that I was still me. The trick is to sit them down and tell them, "You have no idea what I'm going through. Let me share." Tell them what is happeing. If you have to, print stuff off the internet so they can read it for themselves. I had to. It really helped because they couldnt undrstand me.

I lost a great deal of my "friends" but the ones that stay by are the only ones you need. They are the most important. I was given a dog by my husband and have been putting my life back together with Shadows help. A therapy animal might help you too. If you can't handle a dog, get somethng you can. I wuldn't be as well off as I am if Shadow hadn't needed me. Unconditional love is wunderful.

This article might help. It's not as thorough as the video series Mark posted to, but it only takes a few minutes for a family member to read it.

http://www.brainline.org/content/201...u-to-know.html

Dear Molly

Thank you so much for your kind reply.

I have always been a person who works hard. Thats what others are used to. So i sympathize with them, it must be hard for them not to have the me they are used to.
But its a lot harder for me.

I will take on board your pet idea.

Many thanx

Dear XANADU00
Thank you.
I looked the article up. It is very pointed.
My family are struggling with the changes, today I was meant to keep my daughter home, but this morning was like a relapse.
I'd gone to bed with pain in my head, this morning I couldn't walk in a straight line and felt completely fatigued.
My husband did say he understood and arranged childcare.
I cannot cry tho I feel like bursting.
Anyway, tomo is a new day and I look forward to it, today I will rest well.

Many thanx

This is me
 

FINALLY!!!! Someone who understands. I almost fell out of my chair when I read this. To complicate matters for me, I had a hysterectomy last year. My husband is usually a very caring and understanding man, but lately he has been so judgemental,I am going crazy.

You Look Great video series
 

Hi Peachy

The 6 part video series Mark recommended is really good. (You Look Great) Ask your family and loved ones to watch it with you.

I still want my 17 yr old daughter to watch it. She still doesn't always get that me -- mom is not quite the old mom.

It's so hard when WE TOO want to be back to OURSEVes, but we just can't. Yes, there is pain and no one can really see it, but thank GOD for this place.

At least you can vent here, ask questions here, and good, kind experienced people will help you as much as they can.

Take care Peachy,
pm

I understand completely
 

The video that helped me the most was titled "Borrowed Brain". I think it was written/made by a CNN or Fox News reporter that was in a mva. I passed it on to all of my friends to help them understand. Google it.

All of us on this board understand. It's a longgggg road to healing for many of us.
Su seb

Husband
 

ALSO, get your husband educated and on your side fast!

My husband is a salesman. I am often expected to entertain clients and go to events and be the perfect wife. In the beginning my husband didn't understand why that wasn't working. His comments were very hurtful. He told me I talked like a teenager. Seven months later he gets it. You need him to help you. It took my husband six months to understand that going to the grocery store made me very sick. Now he goes.

Find a friend, doctor, or family member to help him understand how complicated this problem really is. My husband still slips up and says hurtful things and I call him on it. I tell him that I need his support and that a sarcastic comment is very hurtful.

Su seb