I called Adult Protective Services and......
 

Yesterday I called APS, I explained everything. Since she is a harm to herself and treating me mentally abusive. Somebody from the State is coming next week, either Mon or Tues. they can't tell me when, because it has to be a surprize, I guess so people wouldn't be prepared. Which is fine with me.

I think this is it, once they take over, I am out of the loop. I am not sure how they handle this, but I need help, so this is the only way I know how to deal with this.

Last night, she called me a Liar because she says the things I tell her that she says when she has been drinking are all lies, Thief (because her cracker's were missing from her bedside table)!!!!! She said she was always pretty, and I am a Puke and I think I am just something. She said she wished my sister was alive (she died at birth a few days later) and I was dead. She said I got cancer (had to have a hysterectomy at 35)because I screwed around and is mad that she doesn't have grandchildren and it is my fault.
She even called me a hooker!!! OMG:(

She said she didn't know Mike was here, that is not true, she knew.

I think this is the worst it has ever been, I know it is.:confused:

She doesn't know APS is coming. She said she is staying in this house and going to die here. Then she said she is going to start driving and getting out of the house. OMG she isn't supposed to be driving.:eek:

So, for now, I walk on egg shells until next week.

I am really upset and hurt to say the least. Oh, and she said she wants NOBODY in this house.:mad:

Well, all I can say is I cannot wait for next week. Until then, I deal with her.

Hugs and Hope, NIkko:(

I can't wait for next week as well, keeping fingers and toes crossed.
You know there is the charge of assault if she starts threatening you, the police can be called.
I wish things were different, you are making this going to work for you.
I am happy that you have made these steps.
any chance you could stay with your sweetie over night?
jsut for some comfort....
(((HUGS)))
bizi:grouphug:

Hang in there Nikko, it will get worse before it gets better I'm afraid but you did the right thing. You can't deal with her anymore and she is treating you like dirt. It's wrong and instead of being ashamed she just gets herself on a roll (from what it sounds like to me from your posts) and is displacing her own self image onto you. What she said about wishing you had died and your sister had lived was just uncalled for. You deserve better then this. I would definitely let the state intervene and take over, to heck with what she wants, she's not in her right mind if she's talking about driving, she could kill someone or herself if she's driving. I would definitely hide the keys, and try to turn a deaf ear to the mean stuff she keeps saying.

You don't deserve to be abused emotionally like this. I agree with bizi, if it degenerates into an assault do NOT just let it go by, I would call the police and see what they can do, tell them about the situation and pray that they will act and DO something. She sounds like she is suffering dementia (spelt wrong I bet) and needs institutionalized ASAP. You WILL get through this Nikko, hang in there...We're here for you in the meantime...

I so agree with Pamster and Bizi. and I am so angry..I AM SO PROUD OF YOU...YOU ARE WALKING NOW IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. it is so hard to restore ones self image after so much abuse. You know you are loved here by many people who are good people. We so care about you. I don't know what your early childhood was like and if you mother was loving then or she was still sadistic.
You said your father had a drinking problem and I don't know when that started. Try to start remembering of the people who really appreciate you now and then and start from there. I think being bipolar makes us prone to view the negative because physiologically we have so many emotions running rampant and a lot are negative. Then we ascribe those negative emotions towards ourselves. Start looking in the mirror and start telling yourself what a loving person you are and how brave you are with what life has been shelling out to you. If you want to feel initially sorry for yourself that is fine but please focus how brave you are and how you did everything in your power to try to make things right. Maybe you are an imperfect perfectionist too and are now forced into taking another direction towards loving yourself, nurturing yourself and putting yourself first without feeling selfish.
You can't fight sadistic people, especially if your heart is gentle but I do hope you feel some rage...There is no excuse for your mother's behavior...none whatsoever. She never deserved you as a daughter. Deep down she might feel like a real rat..or worse..I would put money down on worse. She has dug such a hole maybe she can never acknowledge what you truly deserve..unconditional love and thensome.
Bobby

Hallallujah Is all I have to say. I'm so proud of you.

And I am so ready to help you in any way I can this weekend to
get through this. You can do this. Just be very careful about
anything she wants to do. And when it comes to hiding the keys
if the car is in her name, just kind of see that they are missing.

From something a friend of mine told me, just don't admit to having
taken them for her good. She could have you arrested.

Donna

Hi and thanks to all. She won't try to drive, she cannot even get to the car without my help. I do have all the keys. As far as her abusing me physically, she is not capable of that, only verbally/mentally.

Today she pee peed the bed, so more laundry. Then she pooped herself all over. I had to get her in the tub, it was real bad. She is all cleaned up real good and has a diaper on, plus I have this thing under her sheet from the hospital for accidents, not that it works real well,but it helps. Gave her some Pepto Bismol. Her bed is clean, I tried my best to get the carpets clean, that I just had professionally done.

She blamed her pooping on corn she had. No, it's because of drinking and not wanting to eat. She is being real nice to be now. But that doesn't change a thing about next week.

We spoke a bit about what she said to me last night, and she said OH you take everything to heart. I am holding up okay, just teary and scared about what will happen next week.

She wants dinner now, so I have to make it, she needs food in her body, not just booze, maybe she won't poop or pee the bed if she eats.

I love you all, Have a great weekend......Nikko:(

You are amazing.:hug:
I hope you realize this.


by the way...


assault is the verbal threat part of assault and battery
(and battery is the physical)
so she could be charged with assault if needed.
(((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))
bizi

I am so exhausted and drained. I am not hungry, I just want to sleep.

That is my plan for tonight.

Plus my pain is flaring up again from getting her up and in and out of the tub.

I have just had it. I wish I could stop crying on and off.

She is acting like everything is honky dorey.

Haven't heard from Mike since today, oh well. I guess I do in a way need him, but then again I need to be alone too. I have to do what I have to do, and not get other people involved. I am alone on this, per usual, except for you all and a few friends.

I am so confused and screwed up.

Need meds and sleep. I know I am going to cry myself to sleep tonight, I can't hold it back anymore. My life is such a mess, screw up, etc. I am having bad thoughts too. If you know what I mean. Bye Bye.....

Hugs, Love, Laughs and Hope - Nikko:(

Dear Nikko, :hug:
You did the right thing to ask for outside help. This is too much to handle alone. I think sometimes we try longer than we should. This is honor and peace in knowing when something is too big to deal with.
I hope that you get through the weekend all right.
Give yourself a break if you can and think good things about yourself.

Mari

you are exhausted...that is what you are.
Don't ever forget yourself.
WE need to know how you are doing...we need to hear about how you are getting better about sticking up for yourself and not accepting crap from anyone.
this gives us hope, you are inspirational to all of the woman here.
You are a survivor.
in more ways than you realize.
love you
bizi

:mad: I had a real nice day at the pool on Saturday. Yet, I come home and my mom is on the floor, I couldn't get her up, so she had all pillows on the floor sleeping on and I got a pillow under her head. She was drunk.

I woke up to let the dogs out and she was awake trying to get in bed, saying she was yelling for me. Somehow I got her in bed, because she was then on her knee's. When I woke up this morning, I saw her on the floor getting back into bed on her own. I dread what I may see in her room when she gets up again. I hope she didn't pee her bed again.

Tomorrow or Tuesday is when Adult Protective Services is supposed to come.
I really cannot wait, yet I am a nervous wreck.:confused:

I plan on going to the pool again today, later on, it's only 8:30am here.:winky:

As far as Mike, he said his head has been in the bottle since 2002 when he lost his son. I had noticed he drank a lot, and we talked about it. Said he was going to clean up his act. Well, he blew me off Friday night saying he was staying in, then texting me until 1:45 am or so, he had gone out, I guess he doesn't want me to see him drunk anymore. Plus I can't stand it when he gets drunk, it turns me off. A few cocktails when you go out is fine, but there is a stopping limit too. Even when he stayed over, he would stay up after I would go to bed and drink. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:eek: Jack Daniels and Coke........hard stuff.

Then yesterday called me at the pool and said want to go to the Irish Pub, I said I am at the pool, why don't you come over for a bit to the pool for a few minutes/half an hour, then I will get ready to go with you, he said no he didn't want to. So, I said fine. I guess the booze comes before me. I really don't need this crap. Today he is supposed to be helping a friend with his roof, so I really don't know if I will hear from him, since I had some choice words for him yesterday.:rolleyes:

So, here it is Sunday morning and I am still nervous about the APS coming, or should I say how my mom is going to react.

Anyway, my day is planned and that's that. My doggy seems better, which is one good thing. The Vet is still coming on Thursday to do their nails, and bring me heartworm and frontline stuff for them. So he can check her out at the same time.

Everyone have a great Sunday.....Enjoy, Rest, Relax, have fun....
Thinking of you all.

Nikko:hug:

N - well, as far as your Mom is concerned, you don't have too much more time to wait until APS comes! I hope it works out well for you!

As for the situation with Mike, I'm sorry that alcohol is rearing it's ugly head into this relationship, too. I feel that you are wise and cautious about not wanting to be around him when he is drunk. It also sounds like he is defensive about his drinking, too :(

You are doing the right thing all around! Stay strong - you are a lot stronger than you think you are!!

:hug: Jacquie

ah jeeze Nikko. You don't need Mike's problems either. Can you just stay friends? He sounds like he needs a good friend, but I know you don't need another alcoholic right now. sheesh. What a bummer.

I hope we can be friends. At this point I think I will just fly solo and be with my friends.

I have too much to deal with, plus have a relationship anyway. It was the 1st real relationship I had since my husband which was 10 months ago.:(

I mean I had some dates, but never got this involved as I have with Mike.

Boy, can I pick them or what? LOL No, actually with Mike we were sort of set up together, when we went on the bike run for coats for kids.

Oh well, what can I say. Time will tell everything, I suppose.

Love ya all.....Nikko:grouphug:

That's a shame, ((((((Nikko)))))).

You certainly don't need any more of THAT in your life.

**WE** can tell what kind of person you are and what you should surround yourself with.

I sort of believe that some of the toxicity in the relationships around you is attracting more of the same. Sort of like -- they KNOW you'll take good care of them. You don't need to be a caretaker for another person that can't face reality.

We all know how hard life is on some people. Crawling into a bottle ain't gonna solve anything. The strength to cope comes from your inner strength and the loving-support of friends and family.

THAT'S WHAT YOU DESERVE -- sharing, caring, loving relationships. I know that when you don't have to fight so hard to survive those around you, these types of relationships will come to you.

BIG HUGS (and love). Stay strong.

Barb http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...ding-hands.gif

Dear Nikko,

'Sending good vibes for the Adult Protective Services visit.
I'm glad that your doggy is doing better.

M.

Nikko

When the time is right, the right man will come around.

And then you will know it.

We will be here waiting to here how things went. I honestly
came in tonight to see how you are doing.

As luck has it I'm going to be gone all day and evening tomorrow.

But I'll be thinking of you. Thats how much I've got you on my
mind.

You are one strong lady.

Donna

thinking of you
 

thinking of you
 

duplicate post somehow
Sorry

DiMarie,

Thank you for the technique. I am going to try it.

:Thanx:


M.

It's Monday morning 8am, now the waiting begins. I wish they could tell me when the person or person's are coming. The girl on the phone said either Monday or Tuesday.

If I need to go to the store, which I will, I will have to do it later on, maybe around dinner time. The waiting is the worst. Well, who knows in this case.

Went to the pool yesterday for a bit, but I was real tired, so didn't stay too long.

Never heard from Mike, so I don't know what he is thinking. He has to call sooner or later, he has a few items here, plus I have his friends helmet.

At least I know he won't just show up, he will call first.

My nerves are on edge, I hate being like this. I will post as soon as APS comes or I find out anything.

Hugs, Nikko:grouphug:

keeping my fingers crossed for you!
bizi:hug:

Bump up.....waiting for update.

Nope this goes over well, I know you're a nervous wreck but I know you're doing the right thing. Be strong Nikko. :) :hug: