Any single people try to pursue a relationship after the TBI?
 

I haven't dated in 4-5 years, though the TBI was a little over 2 years ago.

The chronic pain in the roof of my mouth- I've been waiting for it to miraculously vanish before trying. A regular income & place to live (not with the married couple with kids currently) would help as well.

Just curious what other single guys or women have done. Thanks.

I have been thinking about this a lot too. *edited*

Though my post is trying to look the humorous side, I do feel quite worried about the fact I'm not exactly a catch right now with the TBI symptoms, not to mention my financial hardship.

Hah! Its tough but I think I've accepted that the ship has sailed and I've missed the boat.

"Hi - Your cute - wanna come sit in a dark quiet room with me? We can talk about vitamins?" lol

The more I think about it the less likely it seems. You could argue I'm being pessimistic but if I was a woman - I wouldn't want to date me.

Unless you date another TBI survivor. Or a vampire. We could set up a website :winky:

A vampire could be cool - maybe in a "Let the right one in" kinda sense.

http://www.tbivampires.com/ is available.......

Are you still suffering other symptoms? Sensitivity to light and sound? Cognitive issues? Issues with busy loud places?

I feel like that is what is holding me back from a social life. Of course I don't know how bad the pain in your mouth is, Is it a burning? I was reading through the other neurotalk forums and came across burning mouth syndrome, there may be evidence that it relates to hypothyroidism. I dunno, I'm just trowing ideas out there. I know what its like to be lonely and stuck in a rut, so please forgive me if I'm coming across the wrong way.

How about joining a TBI support group? It can be a way to meet someone who understands. Often, families of the TBI person attend the meetings. They can be very understanding.

I have a friend with another health issue, he says he will try to find a date, but is prepared it will never happen...

Could sex cause another concussion!

Depends on the kinda sex your having.......teehee

I can only speak for myself here but the only support group available to me is this one - I live in the third world and support groups and stuff like that is just not there.

If I didn't have this website then I would have nobody really, my family seems to think I can just snap out of this whole thing with "positive affirmation" and have even gone so far to accuse me of Münchausen syndrome.

Black Text on a white screen keeps me going........

Ha ha.... Is there any special kind for people with PCS - .... or should one ask neurologist...

I mean - I wouldn't be doing anything that has your head shaking around, that should be obvious.

Personally I am not planning on telling my future Mr. Andromeda. He will just assume that I am a cranky, irritable and short-tempered woman who sleeps a lot, prefers the company of animals and needs to have complete quiet for at least 95% of the day.

Brain injury? What brain injury.

Whoa- this has a lot of responses after a short time.

Yeah, I researched support groups soon after finding the forum 2 years ago or so, but never found one.

The one in San Francisco meets during the workday, and I'm way out in Walnut Creek. My housemate/bosss was gone two weeks ago, so that was my chance.

Oops- forgot that would've been the perfect chance.

eHarmony has a lot of search criteria. It might be the route I go when ready again. I got a new injury two weeks ago in an unusual area- especially for a guy. Of all things to injure... Better wait at least a few more weeks.

socializing
 

HI Jeffrey,

I'm a 36 year survivor and agree that it's challenging. I suggest that you follow the NIke quote "Just Do It!" b/c the more you do it, the more you'll enjoy, the better you'll become, and the more fun you'll experience!
*edit*

Carolyn Dolen

Regarding getting a concussion from sex, it sounds like one needs to move away from the head board or wall. LOL

andromeda,

Based on my experience, when my family finally understood my post concussion symptoms, they became much better at tolerating and supporting me in stressful times. My wife can look back and with PCS eyes, recognize many of my behaviors that otherwise were considered choices on my part but were more my PCS response. I did not have traditional PCS at all until 11 years ago. But, PCS did rear its miserable head and bite from time to time since my youth.

That makes sense - I was really only half serious with my previous comment. ;) But when is the right time to tell someone? I mean, if I meet a guy tomorrow, do I tell him right away? Or will that scare him off? Or will my stammering scare him off? I mean, if he's into me he's into me I guess, TBI aside...right?

Oooh la la!!

Well, I was finishing a divorce of five years and had started to date a man for a year plus when I was concusssed.

Thankfully we are both mature and I can take really direct feedback; but also he knew me and how I was before I was injured (kicked in the head by a patient at work.)

I didn't know I had PCS until he kept giving me feedback that I had used a lot of profanity over a whole week which was very unlike me, and that I was angry and frustrated far more than I used to be.....I was able to stop and reflect upon myself and acknowledge that yes, something was greatly amiss by how irritable I was and easily angered and frustrated. Thank goodness I didn't take it personally.

It continues to be a challenge, and at times I have to remind him I can't do things (hiking into caves) or let him know when I am getting too exhausted and I have to stop and rest. This just happened yesterday at a parade we were watching - the noise from the crowd got overwhelming. I put in my earplugs and let him know he had to tap me in order to get my attention since I wouldn't be able to hear well.

I have also made the decision that while I am recovering I am not going to make any major life-changing decisions about future plans. I want to be fully recovered, or at least further along the road so that I know I am able to think through alternatives, possibilities, choices, and ramifications of getting married, etc.

I think it is similar to suggesting to people not to make any major changes in your life for about a year after a spouse has died, and so on.

I don't know if this helps - be confident - there are lots of loving caring people out there and everyone needs companionship.

Laura

I myself understand your need for companionship...but seriously, the stress and unknown results of a relationship, I mean emotional stress involving Hormones...may cause an extremely tough experience for you! Let me tell you something..."You" are some too! YOU have to learn who you are! Do you understand yourself completely, now with TBI? I don't! I had to change my views on my relationship requirements in life....I don't need anybody! I need "myself" now, in this new life! Cause without that..then what else is there? "Love yourself" Your a good person in this life, just like I am.....You don't need to be accepted by someone else, in order to fully-accept and love yourself. As far as survival, working, etc...well, you have to get every form of Disability assistance...and fight for it...TBI is often hard to prove...cause look at the facts....the brain is complex, how do you prove the inability to support yourself? Find a lawyer...fight for your rights as a Disabled American. This is what you need to concentrate on. I used to not like myself after my accident causing my TBI...I felt I could not make it in life without someone else....It's just damn "Fear." Fight for Yourself!!!!Goodluck and Fight!

Some humorous responses!! :)

I just continued to date on and off again, giving myself breaks especially when I got fatigued. ;) I spaced my dates out enough so that I can actually remember what the girl is saying! I had a soft talker once which didn't help in a room with a loud HVAC unit.

It's tough listening and remembering everything, but I still do it for the company.

Love the post! What kind of birds are they? :D

Birds of confusion...deep, deep confusion :winky: