Doing much better, thanks to meditation, yoga, Aricept, & lil doggieswalking ...
 

... and in general, feeling "I'm back", and that I "have my life back" ... Alleluia. :wink: Wow. It's so good to be back to feeling again like myself again :wink:

I continue to be doing very well with the Aricept (donzepil) over these 2 months now. My cognitive functioning is so improved; cognitive executive functioning is *majorly* improved.

I continue meditation 2 x daily, yoga stretches, meet w/ a group meditation weekly -- which helps greatly with the practice. I use lavender epsom salts in my daily bath, 1-2 x daily, which is both relaxing for me (cheap on sale @ Walgreens) plus helps with the physical aches&pains. (It's still 'hot' Down Here on the Gulf Coast, so 'sweaty' still happens when out-&-about during the day, thus I often bathe before bedtime again, to relax & refresh. )

I'm 4yrs out from the rear-ended MVC which majorly altered my life 2008. [ Note: I had one 'good year' (2011) in these post-injured 4 years.] I didn't know it at the time ... I 'overdid' it last year 2011 when I was doing well --- in the effort to do whatever I could do/was newly-again-capable-to-do . I truly thought that I was 'resting' appropriately to 'balance' the increased activity, the 'busyness' of requirements of ordinary everyday life & 'have a life' again, Alleuia.

Yet nonetheless proved 'too much' for me it seems now in retrospect; I could not sustain it. Jan. 2012 I was rendered 'dysfunctional' yet again. "Stop. Do not cross 'Go' !!" --- for 9 months. 9 months of 'quiet rest', social isolation, no activity outdoors ... because I was incapable of anything more. (No fun, for certain.) While I may perhaps be 'fortunate' that I live alone, it was 'no picnic' living with only my own mind, as I've posted previously on here. :confused:) Thus the move to more intensive meditation, to increase my capability to cope/ to deal with 'it all', as life now is.

So I'm walking lil doggies, housesitting-petsitting, & a little personal chef cookery for elders each week. (Thai & Indonesian is my specialty; & I'll cook anything ... now that "Theta CAN cook" again, yes!) :rolleyes:

My 'enduring lamaise' is a daily count-on-it severe fatigue --- w/or w/o any activity or exertion --- can come over me by 9-10 am morning/before noon, and especially by 1pm. It's like "I just cannot keep my eyes open another second", "I've just gotta-lie-down-&-nap/sleep" --- yet no way if I attempt to do so am I actually able to 'nap'. I was helped last year by rx'd Provigil/Nuvigil (modafinil) --- but that doesn't feel in order for now. So, I muddle on through my days, glad to be as well as I am.

"The Challenge" remains of course to be always mindful of my capacities of the moment, the day, & 'to do' what it is that I set-out to do, i.e. meet my commitments in such a way that I do not over-exhaust my self and 'blow it' & my by-now 'admitted limitations'. I am in no way capable or competent to be doing what&how I was prior to MVC 4 yrs ago. I'm older than most posting on here; and as Mark has said, we of the over-age-40+ generation do not as 'readily' heal of brain injury to bounce-back-to-our-former-selves as the younger-aged-injured. Nonetheless, do not give up. You, like I, can & will be 'better' again. (And mind ya: I've *not* been all-patient-peaceful-faithful-enduring-hopeful all along the way --- no way! :( )

Just my update to present here, NT friends.

Best of wellbeing to all here,

Theta ;)

I've been enjoying your posts
 

Hi Theta,

Thanks for sharing your journey. I have been enjoying reading your posts. You have had so much to deal with and I'm thrilled for you that life is getting better and better. It sounds like you have worked hard and have had a determination to find the gifts in all of this:)

Your posts have particularly spoken to me (and informed me!) as I just went to a mindfulness class last week, based on Jon Kabat-Zinn's MBSM. I think there is a message in this for me:)

I come here as a caretaker (mom) of an adolescent with PCS.

All the best,

pretdou

Theta, Glad you are back on the road to recovery and are happy.

Reading between the lines of your post, you seem to have a well sorted routine with daily and weekly activities, with points during the day to nap - I guess the ordered plan has helped as well ?

Much appreciation, pretdou.
 

Hello, pretdou,

I thank you for your acknowledgment here. And I am so glad that you have connected with Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction there in your Canada location. As you are a mom, of a high-achieving young teenaged daughter suffering 'a crash' relapse of PCS, it is clear in your postings that you already bring a 'centered' approach to your family & your daughter's best options to 'work with what simply is, now'. As you said, any "futuristic thinking" can be so troublesome.

I've been following your posts as well. Sounds like you and Mark are well on the track of best options for your daughter's recovery. Your own unselfcentered compassion shines through all, pretdou. Clearly your daughter is in your good care management and guidance. I hope that she may soon come to accumulate better days in a row, to grow better and better.

Best to you & your daughter,
Theta ;)

Your inquiry, re: well sorted routine and ordered plan
 

Thank you sospan for your acknowledgment here. I thank you also for giving me cause to joyfully laugh aloud at myself this morning upon reading your post ... :p. Laugh because my days presently seem to me --- while not chaotic, frenzied, nor all-over-the-place --- yet in no way a well-ordered plan or routine. A weekly itinerary doesn't work for me personally, as I 'simply am, now' at this stage/age/capability in my life. I can't make my capacities to fit-a-template as it were. I'm still learning to 'go with the flow', and the inevitable ebbing. "Rest when needed", or even better "before needed", seems to be still key for me. ;)

The 'balancing act' daily seems likened to a seesaw.

Theta,

Thank you for your lovely words of kindness and encouragement. The self-pity can definitely rear it's ugly head at times!

There is such a huge, huge learning curve to all of this and we resist a lot of what we need to learn, eh? Yes," being with what simply is, in the moment".

Reading about your "crash" after a year of doing better definitely turned a light on for me. This is a marathon, a life-long marathon for my daughter with her history.

Yes MBSR is cropping up everywhere in my life these days. I am SO greatful to learn about your practice. It has been really inspiring. I was "sitting" most days last winter, doing something similar to MBSR, but got "unseated" when my daughter had PCS:)

And the details of how you have organized your schedule and rest as mentioned in the post above are fantastic. It is so confusing to sort out what is happening and so many of us must do it on our own. This site, with folks like you sharing what they have learned, has been the best resource I have had by far and away!

I will post again as we move along. Again thank you for the lovely words. I love your courage:)

Well, I wrote the part about details of schedule and rest before your response so it's sort of funny how that all looks!

But what you have to say about how it all actually does work for you is actually very helpful!

Can anyone explain the to me the difference between MBSR and apathy?

MBSR sounds like it is the opposite of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

Just curious since Jon Kabat-Zinn defines it as a moment-to-moment non-judgmental awareness. People of many religious convictions are taught to take every thought captive.

I have gone through periods of apathy and did not find them beneficial.

Am I missing something?

If you dont have something supportive or thoughtful to say when someone has found a therapy they enjoy and find helpful....then maybe you should take your thoughts and keep them captive.

I am asking a valid question. MBSR is not defined any further than my simple impression as explained in my question. Is there an added dimension beyond the web site explanation? Do you need to take the course to understand the difference.

CBT is taking the thought and redirecting it to a positive thought. MBSR talks of taking the thought and doing nothing with it. PTSD results from stressful thoughts that have no system of release. In my experience, denying the meaning of a thought may allow temporary stress reduction but the long term affects of such a behavior has ended up being stressful as the issue is allowed to continue to build without reaction.

btw, "Jon Kabat-Zinn has said that his program is not spiritually based, and is therefore open to everyone no matter what life circumstances they are in. "
Maybe he is just unaware of the spiritual implications of his protocol. But, that is not my question here.

There appears to be a missing dimension somewhere.

Or, is the difference something that is tied to right brain vs left brain thought processes. Although right brain/left brain issues are not discussed, there appears to be some research data that might indicate a tipping toward benefiting the right brained mind.

Mindfulness (MBSR) is about noticing a thought or feeling, observing it and then letting it go without judging it or taking anything away from it, so to speak.

It's most often used in distress tolerance for people who suffer from negative thinking/panic/anxiety but I believe it can also used for physical ailments to help cope with pain.

I don't think it's meant to be used in every aspect of one's life, but to tolerate the things we cannot change and enjoy the things we are often too distracted to notice.

For example, if you tend to get deep negative in thought while doing the washing up, focus your mind instead onto the task in hand. Describe everything that it is you are doing. Describe how the plate feels, the warmth of the water, the smell of the soap, the colours in the bubbles.

If you feel a negative thought creeping in, observe it (don't push it away) and then take your mind back to the plate, the water etc.

I don't think it's meant to be used on worries like "I need to pay this bill and that bill and take out the rubbish and I don't know where my keys are and what is that doing there and argh I don't know where to begin"

but is most effective on things like "I have terrible headaches and it's stopping me from going to work and I feel like I'm letting everyone down and I wish I could feel better again"

i.e. things we cannot change in the short term and must accept.

It's about training your mind to follow different pathways. The goal is to be able to achieve a completely blank mind on demand.*

*If I recall correctly

It's a bit like meditation, except I can't do meditation. But I can do mindfulness.

Mindfulness = noticing thought, observing, letting go, focussing attention back to present

Apathy = pushing thought away, trying not to think about it

CBT = having thought, put a different light on thought*

*I think

It's a coping strategy, like CBT. They're just different approaches and I don't see why MSBR would be any less credible than CBT. I think MBSR works better for me because I'm not really very visual. I don't really think in pictures but in words. So if somebody asks me to describe something I could talk and talk but if somebody asks me to visualise something I'm useless. I fail miserably at guided meditation.

Disclaimer: If any of this is nonsense, I apologise in advance.

I have never heard of CBT being described as a visual process. It has always be a word thought process in my understanding. I can not visualize since 2001. My ability to create mind pictures went from a rotatable 3D image to at best a single dimension linear picture.

To me, apathy has been recognizing an issue or thought and disregarding its value for continued thought. Sounds like MBSR. IMO

andy said, Apathy = pushing thought away, trying not to think about it.

This sounds more like denial to me. But, it is andy's opinion, not her statement of fact. Just as my impression is just that, my impression or opinion or experience.

apathy to me had been, Thought xyz comes to mind. My response is I don't care about xyz.

No, CBT isn't visual - I meant mediation is visual. I can't focus on a guided meditation and 'sounds of nature' and such are just sounds to me.

Well, perhaps the concept is the same but the difference I see is that with MBSR you have a specific thing to bring your mind back to the present - i.e. the descriptive exercises -which I think is crucial, especially in order to achieve the 'blank mind' and to 'train' your brain to process things differently.

If somebody said to me 'disregard that thought', I might, but I'd probably start thinking about it again almost immediately.

If somebody said 'disregard that thought and focus your attention on this instead', I'd be more likely to be successful in keeping the thought at bay.

I suppose it's a bit like going for a run/cycle/round of golf whenever you feel stressed, but on a cognitive scale.

I think it has a lot to do with mindset and one's willingness and openness for something to work. The way you describe apathy, Mark, (and not judging, just observing) sounds a bit negative and not helpful (even though the concept is virtually the same.)

In my case, I don't believe in homoeopathic remedies because I am very set in my science-y ways. Therefore, I am unlikely to feel a benefit from them because I am not open to them working. Not because they don't work (who am I to say?)

I like mindfulness because it is neither spiritual nor scientific, it's just a way of training the mind to think differently.

ThetaZ,

Glad to hear about your progress. I have been also doing Meditation twice a day and some yoga stretches. It sure helps my brain to settle down and achieve some sort of balance ( I have to get the help from Xanax too). So you are taking Integrated approach about your condition and found the midway. :) Way to go.

Andromeda has some good point about meditation. But when I meditate I don't visualize anything. Even don't resist the thoughts and with practice all the thoughts subside just like that and you can reach that state but need lots of practicing. Being in the present is the key thing. It is hard to explain in simple words and one has to experience. I do Transcendental Meditation btw.

Who ever meditating and do yoga keep doing it. It will only bring good and millions benefiting (now more and more scientific evidence) and been practiced for more than 2000 years :)

Cheers!

I'm SOOOOOOOO happy to see this. Remember I am still here if you ever need to talk. Keep up the progress and you are in my thoughts daily!

Internet 'area outage' this week;
 

Just a quick note of appreciation to andi, pretdou, pcslife, andromeda, nightnurse, sospan for your posts here of genuine supportiveness, encouragement, acknowledgment and appreciation.

I've been w/o home internet all week (an 'area outage') so I've only popped online momentarily @ a friend's house to quickly check email, etc. Update & individual replies soon.

Much appreciation,
Theta ;)

Article reviewed by NeuroTalk founder, Dr. John
 

Dateline Wed., Oct. 31, 2012
Weblink to NeuroTalk Health News Headlines article How Mindfulness Meditation Works, as reviewed by DocJohn, PsyD., founder of this forum ... and much more.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How Mindfulness Meditation Works

Home » News » Research News » How Mindfulness Meditation Works
By Traci Pedersen Associate News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on October 31, 2012

"Mindfulness helps individuals release negative emotions and thoughts, while encouraging more positive feelings such as compassion and forgiveness. But how does this type of meditation actually work?"

"Researchers at Brigham and Women’s Hospital have devised a new model that sheds new light on the science behind mindfulness."

"Instead of describing mindfulness as a single dimension of cognition, the researchers show that mindfulness involves a large framework of complex mechanisms in the brain that lead a person down the path of developing self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-transcendence (S-ART)."

"According to the researchers, in order to achieve self awareness during meditation, one must do the following: reduce biases and negative thoughts, regulate one’s behavior, and increase positive, pro-social relationships with oneself and others ..." [Click on the link, read the full article.]

Article reviewed by NeuroTalk founder, Dr. John
 

Dateline Wed., Oct. 31, 2012
Weblink to NeuroTalk Health News Headlines article How Mindfulness Meditation Works, as reviewed by DocJohn, PsyD., founder of this forum ... and much more.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How Mindfulness Meditation Works

Home » News » Research News » How Mindfulness Meditation Works
By Traci Pedersen Associate News Editor
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on October 31, 2012

"Mindfulness helps individuals release negative emotions and thoughts, while encouraging more positive feelings such as compassion and forgiveness. But how does this type of meditation actually work?"

"Researchers at Brigham and Women’s Hospital have devised a new model that sheds new light on the science behind mindfulness."

"Instead of describing mindfulness as a single dimension of cognition, the researchers show that mindfulness involves a large framework of complex mechanisms in the brain that lead a person down the path of developing self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-transcendence (S-ART)."

"According to the researchers, in order to achieve self awareness during meditation, one must do the following: reduce biases and negative thoughts, regulate one’s behavior, and increase positive, pro-social relationships with oneself and others ..." [Click on the link, read the full article.]

Interesting article. Upon reading the research behind this article, mindfulness is presented as a spiritual based process as it requires a spiritual belief in a higher power or universal power. To many of us, this means it has a religious dimension.

I was lucky enough to be able to attend an 8 week MBSR course put on by my workplace during my recovery. I found it immensely helpful, both in making my life better despite my symptoms, and in helping to recover from those symptoms. As most of us will have noticed stress is particularly bad for us and I found my stress levels greatly reduced as a result of this programme.

It also helped me to enjoy simpler things in life which didn't require so much stimulation to enjoy. I would definitely recommend it and I consider learning about it to have been a significant benefit of my injury, since without the injury I probably would have dismissed it as new age nonsense that I didn't need, and not bothered with it.

In terms of how it differs from apathy, I would say that far from not caring about anything, it involves the practice of really paying attention to the present moment and finding enjoyment in things that are all around us but we often don't notice - really looking at the changing colour of leaves in autumn, really listening to the sound of birdsong or really focussing on the sensation of peaceful breathing.

Part of the rationale is that in our constant worries about the past or future we overactivate our stress/fight or flight response, flooding our bodies (including the brain) with stress hormones, which is bad for us. By focussing awareness fully on the minutiae of the present moment we give our brains and bodies a break from such worries whilst at the same time making sure we enjoy and appreciate the present moment to its fullest extent. This feels very different to me from the sort of depressed apathy that I have experienced at other times, which basically involved becoming dead to the world and not enjoying or caring about anything.

As you get more comfortable with this focus on the present moment (and in my experience it is something akin to a skill which improves with practice) the course introduces new ideas such as focussing on the experience of emotions, including worries. This involves not distracting yourself from them or pushing them away, but rather holding them close and examining them in the sense of how it feels to be experiencing that emotion in the moment.

This has the suprising effect of allowing you to master and rationalise the worry, rather than simply experiencing it in an unreflective and uncontrolled way. The practice seems to greatly reduce the worry overall. It is kind of hard to explain without all the time and practice of actually being on the course but I hope that gives some idea of how it's very different from apathy.

In terms of its 'spiritual' dimension the core ideas and the term 'mindfulness' is drawn from Buddhism (and you can get books about mindfulness written by Buddhists), however Kabat-Zinn and the people associated with him have very deliberately removed it from this context, and no other aspects of Buddhism are involved. Indeed, Buddhists can hardly claim a monopoly on the idea of being mindful of experiences in the present moment, and Kabat-Zinn is at pains to stress the contribution of western thinkers to his idea of mindfulness. The man most quoted in his book “Wherever you go, there you are” is Henry Thoreau.

There was certainly no requirement during my 8 week course (which is a standardised programme) for belief in reincarnation, an afterlife, a higher power or any other supernatural or religious belief otherwise involved in Buddhism. In fact, I didn’t hear anything which was not perfectly within the boundaries of modern scientific belief.

I guess if someone is very religious then they might object to the clear Buddhist influence on this programme as making it somehow heretical or something, and that’s fair enough. But as someone who is definitely not a Buddhist I found nothing objectionable in it. Once again I couldn’t recommend it enough for people with PCS (and I would guess it would be very helpful for people with more severe TBIs as well).

Recently in the news re: mindfulness meditation, insight meditation
 

New this week:

Attn Ontario-Canadians: NeuroNova Centre for mindfulness-based chronic pain management courses are now enrolling for upcoming Winter classes.

The beginner level class is offered three times during a calendar year.

It appears that a physician referral is required, costs covered and/or reimbursed by OHIS.
See weblink for full details: http://www.neuronovacentre.com/cours...r-chronic-pain

Free online podcasts, guided mindfulness meditations from
UCLA Health System/ School of Medicine/ Mindfuness Awareness Research Center: http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

Science Daily article re: meditation and older adults.
 

This Science Daily article from August speaks of the effect of meditation for older, potentially more isolated adults, and loneliness.

While the article specifically speaks of 'older adults', seniors ... the socially-isolating effects for many (of any age) dealing with the aftermath of tbi-pcs, I know can be sometimes great, resulting in an experience of 'loneliness' for many of us, irrespective of age.

Here's the link: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0814213630.htm

Routine ... getting there perhaps! lol. ;)
 

An update since my last post(s) on this subject.

The biannual changes in daylight savings time have lifelong always thrown me off and been disconcerting to me. :mad:

This year I chose to move my clocks back a few days in advance of the "Fall back an hour", to perhaps give me a personal chance to adapt/adjust in advance of the Big Change.

I've been aware that, in my own sleep disorder, I've been awakening earlier & earlier these Fall mornings.
Thus instead of awakening from enough/not enough sleep around 5am, I was awakening around 4am.

As I mindfully have been preparing for upcoming January 2013 10-day intensive meditation training (of which andi spoke) --- it 'dawned on me' this week of the time change that in fact I will be needing to awaken ~4am each morning of the intensive training coming up in just 2 months for me.

How good it is that my bio-clock is already adapting & adjusting in advance for that! ;)
I've also been using the early morning time for practicing meditation.

Thus in conclusion ... I am aware that a routine perhaps seems to be naturally evolving for me. Yay! That makes me happy, yes. ;)

Best regards to each and all,
Theta

Good for you ThetaZ. Article about loneliness is a great one. I personally know senior citizens suffering from loneliness in spite of people being around them. I can imagine how will it be if no one around.

Meditation almost eliminated by loneliness right now. I have been doing atleast twice everyday. Also I see my improvement in my dull headaches. Not that bad. Whenever I get fatigued, more dizzy, stressed, increasing headaches - I sit down and meditate. Sure helps. No doubt and better than taking Ibuprofen or any other pain killers.

They also mentioned Tai Chi which my Neurologist also wants me to try because of dizzy/weak knees feeling. I thought he was joking. :D

I have taken few classes before head injury and you have to do moves with bending your knees slightly and smooth movements. Now I think that may help me too.

Cheers!

pcslife,

Thank you for your own update here as well.

It's great to hear that your twice daily meditation practice, plus as-needed throughout your days, is bringing for you relief in both the pcs loneliness and headaches. Kudos.

Same for me with the ibuprofen, which I've been taking Rx 800 mg 3 x daily for painful hip/piriformis fasciitis, and back pain ... simply the 'growing pains' of perhaps good consequence of recent physical activity.

(Hmm, like sweeping the walks of pine needles each morning? Like lugging a gigantic potted tropical plant into the sunlight several mornings a week? Lol. :confused:
Well, no one else is going to do it for me, so I just 'do it', sometimes w/o thinking of the consequences.) ;)
Nonetheless it's good to be functioning again and not feeling so despondent and uncaring about the walks and the plants.

Much as I do love my rx ibuprofen, it has for me the negative side effect of, well, plainly: constipation ... which is also a negative side effect for me with any antidepressant.

Thus like you I am glad to not be needing to take the ibuprofen as regularly as I might otherwise.

Also, yes, the tai chi can be excellent for balance and will indeed strengthen your leg muscles, addressing that 'weak knees' feeling.

Sounds like you've got one of the few good, knowledgeable, compassionate-listener neurologists who can think for himself outside the box of strictly allopathic medicine approach.
For this also I am very pleased for you, pcslife.
Great!

Thank you again for your encouragement and supportiveness on here.

Best regards,
Theta

Hi, glad you are checking in here with your recent update. It's great to hear about how people are doing several years out from their "incident". I am now 2yrs 8mo from the time of my accident and feeling so much better (but I say that every few months as more things continue to heal). I've recently started yoga, which is helping and need to get back to light swimming, which was also helpful. Meditation, mindfulness, being aware of one's thoughts-no matter if they come in pictures, words or internal sounds is always a good thing, spiritual or not. A great book to read if one can is "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. It is not based on a religious belief (it can actually enhance your personal religion if you choose), but only on the practice of being in the now. It has been helpful for me to attempt to stay in the present moment rather than go off into anxiety or fear or remembering trauma, etc. Most of that is already over and done with or hasn't happened yet (so how can worrying help either my past or future).
Anyway, glad to hear you are back to doing some activities. It's helpful to know you can still relapse years later. Today I am feeling "off" again, time is passing faster (must mean I am spacing out a little) and I feel really tired.
Just goes to show that we have good days and bad, even years later. I am happy to be able to do some things that just weren't possible for a long time.

Keep on keepin' on!

eponagirl wrote: "Just goes to show that we have good days and bad, even years later. I am happy to be able to do some things that just weren't possible for a long time. Keep on keepin' on!"

and: "I really hope the importance of resting gets out. It seems really simple, but in our society it can be really hard to do, so it actually takes some work to stop doing so much."
__________________________________________________ _

Glad to see you here again, eponagirl.
I am always happy to read good news updates of you, Gal. :)

It's good to know that you are managing well with your work as massage therapist, and your farm, chickens, horses, et al.

And it's great to hear from you & your sharing of what you have learned in your experience over time & healing; how you've learned to pace your activities in order to remain as well as possible ... to "Keep on keepin on!" ;)

Best regards,
Theta

aw, shucks! Thanks for the words of encouragement! I am managing ok with my work as a massage therapist. I have cut back A Lot and am having trouble with the confidence to do more. I basically have to start over and everything feels different. Anyway, I do the best I can and like everyone here try to push forward despite this blasted injury!

What do you think happened that you had a good year, then a sliding back? That is my concern about feeling ok while I limit activity, then afraid of sliding back doing more...

Dear eponagirl,

Promise to reply tomorrow to your inquiry, Gal! ;)
Seems I'm heading into the Land of Nod by now tonight. Yay!

oxo,
Theta

Having a hard day, physically.
 

It's sunny, clear, 'cold' (for DownHere) 65 high today.
My headache resolved earlier in this week.
Yesterday, last night it was my neck that was so tender & painful. That seems to have resolved overnight. Yay. :o

Today it is my lumbar back that is so painful & distracting me from getting on with my task(s) for the day.

I'm cooking New Mexico Pork Roast Posole, Green Chile Stew, roasted corn, Indian frybread, and fresh pumpkin-pecan muffins for my elder friends, professors emeritus retired couple who are a great delight. I cook for them a couple times a week, and I enjoy it, yes, as do they.
Everyone who knows me lifelong knows that if Theta is cooking, she is happy & doing a-okay. ;)

It's a great day to be cooking outdoors on the grill.
Friends in New Mexico sent to me a 10-lb box of Hatch, NM and other assorted NM chiles. I'd wanted to fire-roast them outdoors on the grill this morning.
However the loud noise assault of the lawn tractors, leaf blowers and power-trimmers/edgers today has been nearly incessant since early morning. :mad: Groan!.

Never mind the fire-roasting, although that would have been ideal.
Oh well. Close all the sliding glass doors and turn on the whitenoise fan and try to forget about it. :p

So I've sat in the shiatsu chair massager with the heat application on, taken an 800 mg ibuprofen & 2 aspirin, hoping for some relief enough to get this New Mexican Feast Day dinner going and delivered by 6pm.

I'm dogsitting one of my fave little guys today also.

Wish me well in my small efforts at being productive and useful today! Lol.

Thinking of you all and wishing you a hopefully very fine day.

Sincerely,
Theta

An update:
I did get enough relief in the intense lumbar back pain yesterday, through various selfcare modalities, + the 1600 mg ibuprofen
( 800 mg in the early-early a.m. and a second 800 mg. 8 hrs later) + 405 mg aspirin in the afternoon.

I did pull together the New Mexican Feast Day meal for my elder friends, and got it to their table, served, & all cleaned up by 7pm last evening. Yay.

They are very pleased and want me to cook for them 2-3 evenings a week. I'm trying to be responsible to my own needs and limitations, before overcommitting my time/energy capacities.

If it were simply the cooking only ... as I am presently ... it would be no big deal. However I must remain mindful that it's the grocery shopping excursions that "do me in". Can anyone relate? I'm sure many here can/do. :p

I did very well this week. I did most all of the grocery shopping on Tuesday at our local little family-owned uptown market, which I can handle/cope a-okay. I didn't have to drive to any of the bigger major groceries, further out, which are just (still) such an assault on my senses, that I have to "rest" and recover afterwards.

Anyhoo, I'm thinking that I might manage okay to cook 2 nights a week for them regularly, but for now, I simply cannot manage 3 --- despite how much I would like to do that.

I am just feeling that it may simply ultimately over time prove "too much" for me to sustain ... to do what I enjoy doing for others, yet making sure ahead of time that I am taking complete care of myself and not pushing-the-limits of my envelope.

I simply cannot afford to 'blow it' again this time, i.e. doing too much, not realizing it, and being unable to sustain the heightened level of activity & commitment ... ending up in burnout/collapse/relapse again. No no no. Cannot afford to go there again. :eek:

So for me today was a wholly uncommitted day (by choice) timewise and largely a planned/scheduled day of rest, restore, recoup, recover. I even declined an invitation to lunch 1:1 with a good friend. I 'saved' myself, my energies, my capacities all day, to have a quick, simple, nourishing early evening dinner at the home of a friend who'd cooked for us.

I've by now had my Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime Extra tea x 2 cups this evening, a lavendar epsom salts bath, a cup of warmed milk with local honey, brushed my teeth, am in bed with Thursday Night House MD Party on Oxygen tv, fresh clean sheets on my bed, mattress turned-&-flipped, and took my newly today re-Rx'd lunesta 2mg, starting to yawn & hopefully very soon to nod into sweet sleep ... I hope. :o

All the best to each and all here.

Good night,

Theta ;)

I've become aware of a (common) trigger for fatigue, brain fog, headache,etc.
 

Duh. :p

I have a dear friend who often takes me to lunch at her favorite, our local Chinese cafe's small buffet. I certainly appreciate the great value & quality of the buffet, and my friend's generosity. We've been frequently enough of late that I've learned that if I partake, I am thereafter simply good for nothing the rest of the day!

Yes, I'm a little slow on the uptake to make the connection to the ages old, "MSG syndrome" !
Having lived in China for a year, I'd think I'd have been more mindful of this hazard. Again simply, "Duh." :o

"Still learning after all these years how to navigate this PCS maze."

Humbly,

Theta

Hey there,

Its really good that you are feeling better and think that the meditation and daily yoga would've helped you a lot in creating emotional/mental stability.

I hope that you are still well and have continued your meditation.

Cheers, Luca

So glad to hear that things are going better for you. You have been through such a lot! Always encouraging others at the same time.
I wanted to do a mindfulness meditation class but it is 2 hours each week and I am a bit too fatigued for that!
I take amantadine for that deep non-sleep fatigue. The times I have stopped, I became almost comatose again!
take care, and continue healing!

If you look in the blue bar above the poster's name, you will see the date the post was posted. Theta posted almost a year ago and has not posted at all since last April.

I hope no posts implies that she is doing well.

I saw that, Mark, after I posted. I hope she is much better!!