Depressed
 

Hi,

sad and depressed.
. . .some times are worse than others . . . coping is hard . . . .

M

I'm sorry Mari. It is very difficult to cope with it when it's elevated. Hang in there. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I am sorry you are depressed.You have been adjusting your meds and dealing with pains that you want resolved. I bet you are tired of it and wants some normalcy...also are you anxious about meeting with you mdoc again?
I know with your schooling you have a lot of responsibility....maybe it is time for a walk on the beach to help lift your spirits.
We are here, we love you
bizi

Hi,

I am taking 100mgs Gabapentin. That is enough to take care of some of the anxiety. It is not enough to take care of the depression.

M

Mari

Sending you some hugs. Hoping you get some answers soon.

As always wishing it weren't happening. But I don't have any real help.

Just love.


Donna:hug::hug::hug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

I am sorry about the depression. I hope they can get your meds figured out soon (regarding the calcium, what pontenates what, etc. )

I hope it lifts soon :hug: :Heart:

I have no idea why but I feel compelled to send this out to you Mari.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho7796-au8U

It's cheery to me

:Heart:

Dear Mari,

I am sorry you are feeling depressed. I hope it blows over quickly.

(I'm huffing and puffing and blowing away that dark cloud in my mind, right now. ;))

Sending you lots of love and warm thoughts.

((( :Heart: HUGGGS :Heart: )))

~ waves ~

Maybe some of the seasonal disorder. Short day hrs not good for the soul. Hope this shall pass soon. You are too special to know its hurting. :hug:

I'm sorry Mari. I wish that I could be more helpful. I'm just coming out of a situational depression,and grief,and it seems to be very gripping late at night.

I'm sending you Love,and hugs. You will get through this. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Hugs to all
 

Hello, Everyone,

Thank you very much.


Mari

Depression is like a wave that hit's you in the ocean,and you get pulled down in the undertow,the worst part,then you surface grasping for air wondering what happened. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Steve,

That is exactly how it is. And you write about it with the beauty of a poet.

M

Thank you Mari. Sometimes that's the only way we can let people know what It's like who don't understand what we are going through. I will talk symbolically in words,poems,psalms,songs,or anyway properly to explain what we go through. It's not all in the head as they use to tell me. There's much more to it then that,and they haven't got a clue who thinks that it's all in the head.

The facts are now coming to the surface through scientific research,medication,and the persons history of suffering. Science has taken a leap forward.

People never use to pay attention to my complaints, until I/all of us/got worse. The new medications are much more affective then the addictive drugs that they gave me in the 70's. That caused more suffering after getting off of them. I'm still on a small amount of Xanax. It seems to help if it is a small amount. It's the most widely used medication for panic disorder. Then I'm on Luvox for the OCD,and seroquel for the other more painful depression,bipolar,and etc.,and etc.,and who knows what else.

The doctors,and councilors,try to help,but they can't talk us out of our problems,because they keep manifesting,and changing,and throw us into confusion,and they wonder why we are still the way we are.

It's like we(with mental health issues) don't know...They don't know. The medicine helps,but many times not enough. I'll take all the proper(Legal) help that I can get after all of these years of suffering. I'm tired of it. I'm beyond tired of it. BF:hug::hug::hug:

tired
 

Dear Steve,
Science is wonderful. Or at least it has improved upon the past.
Our meds help to some extent -- to the extent that we can live and mostly manage. But mostly I feel that I am in a land where doctors are not looking all that hard. I too am tired of not being happy or o.k.

M

I've been through that to where the doctors have not tried to help with medications. One time the doctor's took me off all medications when I was in the hospital. They obviously didn't know what they where doing because the Valium,Librium,Ativan,Xanax class of medications is addictive. I had been on them daily for about 10 years. I had a seizure,and they put me back on Ativan at the time.

Another doctor made a mistake with a powerful sleeping pill. I said that I wanted to get off of it,and he took me off of the medication cold turkey. I had a problem for two years. Some of that time I just couldn't believe what the doctor did,and what happened to me. It was really bad.

I've had 10 Pdocs,and know that through the years they have made some mistakes,and sometimes they didn't really care. They wouldn't tell me anything,but I got the report,at the hospital on one situation by the medical records by micro-file tapes. They where going to try to deal with my problem without medication. So they took me off of it,and I had seizure. Doctors are fallible,and make allot of mistakes. They are only human,and are not as good as they think. I wish that they where better. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Right now,I have a good team of professionals. I hope that there are going to be better medications coming soon. I hope. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Steve,
Those are some tough times. THat is such a shame --- that you had to go through that.

I am not irritated at my particular doctors. I am irritated at the whole group of them. They stink at patient care, they stink at research, they stink at advocating for us to get access to them and to the meds, . . .

Gee, my medical is a finaicial cost. It also costs me in time and effort, . . . .. the meds and the appointments are a big part of what is left of my life. I did not start on this train until 25 or so. I am sorry that you had to go through that when you were so young.

M

What get's me is the Insurance companies are in charge of my medications at the Pharmacy. They seem to be counting every pill now.

How did this strange thing come into existence? BF:hug::hug::hug:

Hi, Steve,

Whatever they are up to adds to the stress of dealing with our medications.

M

I agree. It sure does. I wonder when this problem is going to straighten out. They should stay in their realm,and let the doctors be in control of the medications. The insurance people started this in the 90's. BF:hug::hug::hug:

I can only fill my klonipin every 30 days now....it used to be I could fill them a few days early...not any more. So much for getting a stock pile....sigh
bizi

sorry bizi :-( same with me. I went to Walgreens a day early to pick up something else and I said while I'm here can I pick up my xanax? and they told me I'd have to come back tomorrow. So weird. So back the next day I went. :Heart:

Butterfly and Bizi,

Is this only about the Klonopin and Xanax? The benzodiazepines?
That is Yucky.

I have four other ways to get a stock pile.

1. Normally I take 2.5 mg Klonopin each day. Sometimes for two days out of the week I only take 2.0 Klonopin. I do not recommend doing that but I have done it in the past. At the end of the week, I have an extra 1.0 mgs saved. At the end of the month I have 4.0 and so on.

2. Schedule more frequently appointments with the pdoc. For example my pdoc's office wants me to see him every three months. He writes the prescriptions for 30 days to be renewed two times before I see him.
Then I see him two weeks before my three months. I end up with two extra weeks of prescribed Klonopin. It is available to me in the pharmacy computer I believe.

3. Lie to the pdoc. Get him to write the script for more than what you actually take. For example, I could tell him I need 3.0 mgs and only take 2.5. I do not recommend this and most pdocs are reluctant to raise benzos but I have done this in the past with a different pdoc and it worked.

4. Tell the pdoc you lost a bottle. You can probably get away with this every four years or so. My pdoc wrote an extra prescription for Verapamil for me. I doubt he would do it for Klonopin.

M

are we undermedicated?
 

Hi,

I wonder if we are under medicated.

Maybe we need more pills so that we can have enough to work with.
YA know, it is a hassle to get to the pharmacy within the perfect time period to get my meds. :( :confused: It is hard to keep track of them them once I get them home.

I really do think we need extra pills in the house and the pdocs should accommodate us with that.
======

More importantly, the pdocs are barely treating us if we are going to be short a few pills at the end of the month.

M

Oh Mari, I am so sorry you're depressed, I do understand, I have been feeling it myself, I think part of it is the weird weather we're having. I know rationally I shouldn't be as down and sad as I have been, but I can't help it Rationality only goes so far, you know? Things just ARE the way they are sometimes, and all we can do is just try to get BY until it passes. :(

Its not people like us that are on this forum in this room.

Its others that have made this necessary. They absued the system.
Made it necessary to make more restrictions on the medications.

I am sorry when someone needs something and can't get it.

it really isn't a good thing. I hate it most when I'm trying to get one of Derrick's seizure medications. That honestly is the worst.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

I hope those who are feeling depressed feel better soon. ((((HUGS))))
Mari, Pammie, waves, bobby.
love you all.
bizi

Yes! They should have a better plan for us. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Hi, Steve,

You are exactly correct.
And we should not have to think through this as much as we do.

Making sure we have our meds should be part of the standard of care. Pdocs should not hastily write a 'script, say good luck until next time, and send us on our way. :confused:

M

Mari - you must have had spies at my last pdoc appointment :)

:Heart:

Mary. Exactly. They are not assuring us that we are going to get our prescription on time. They are restricting. They are making money making sure that we don't get a extra pill.

Instead of insurance to us,it's profit to them. There are all kinds of possible national emergency scenarios. People are even building emergency bunkers.

I wonder if the drug companies have analysts studying our forum,and others,to learn what we are saying about their pharmaceuticals. It's a definite possibility BF:hug::hug::hug:

Mari
 

Hang in there Mari. They say if you go out when the sun is shining even for 10 minutes and let it shine on you it helps a little. Going for walks does help for sure if you can manage it in the cold weather. Try to go early afternoon.

:hug: Granny Flee

So True
 

We really do have to be our own advocate. Don't let them get away with that. Have your questions ready before you go in to see the doctor esp. if you feel you are not getting the attention you need. They are there to help but we have to make them aware of it or they will just pass us over. I even went to see a dermatologist for my hair loss and I could feel he was not as concerned when he saw my med list. I guess he just wrote me off as a crazy person so I must be making it up. I had to advocate for myself and ask questions in order to get some real answers. It's not what I wanted to do but I had to or he just would have sent me on my way with nothing.

Keep plugging for your selves. Be your own advocate. Don't let them get away with just passing you over.

Love to all Flee