Older son surgery at Hershey med 2/22
 

My o,dest that has a plethora of medical issues from lumbar, shoulder to cervical and migraines is having a cervical fusion Friday morning. This is going to be very difficult for him, being in the collar when claustrophobic about t shirts will be recovery problems, but he surgery is so troublesome for me after going through all of De's surgery s to only be worse.
Along with caring for family, more days of full care for son and dgs are going to be physically challenging.

Any prayers and supportive thoughts for all to go well are appreciated my dear friends.

I am driving down not quit 2 hrs south on Thursday as he surgery is early Friday, and weather to be snowy again

Pretty fretful right now.
Di

Sounds really rough for both of you.

Sending positive thoughts your way for a smooth recovery.

Sending you a bunch of prayers, and your son some too. And some thoughts for some prayers.

I also am sending your grandson some prayers and thoughts. I think he needs some also.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Dear Di, :Heart:

Best wishes for your son's surgery and recovery. Hope everything goes in the best way possible and that after the ordeal is over he will be stronger than ever and pain free.

I can't even imagine how terribly stressful this must be for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and sending lots of hugs and love.

~ waves ~

Dear Di,
:hug: :hug: :hug:
I wish that you had help --- at least with house work and cooking and laundry. That would lighten the load a little.

'Sending you big hugs and lots of good thoughts in the coming days.

M

I hope the surgery and recovery goes well for him.
:grouphug::grouphug:

I will be thinking about you two and praying for your lovely son so he can full recover soon.

God bless you. Oh, and remember De will be taking care of her bro :hug:

Thanks everyone, and Jo, you were there during the failures of De's surgery s to understand my apprehension.
Really worried this is the right thing to do. Surgeon is going after the pain from brachial p,excuse and not sure cervical surgery will even resolve the problem, or potentially make it worse.

Really sucks for him to not manage the pain and need surgery.

I am so sorry it's coming to this Di, I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. Pain stinks. :(

Di, we will all be praying for this to be the answer.

And for your strength to be even more.

You deserve this to work even more.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

oh di , I know that yo are worried about this but know that you have lots of people sending good thoughts your way. I am hoping for a quick healing. can you get some help?
love to you
bizi

Getting close, now they are calling for a N'or Easter for Saturday, discharge day. Yuck. My car has new tires on but not snow tires and 100 miles during a storm! I think I will reserve the room an extra day just in case.
Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts.
I have the best friends in the world!

Good idea.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

DH is letting me take the CRV, if it is real bad traveling conditions I will stay an extra night. His new gf, whole long story there, has a newer big SUV they can get home in. I won't risk an accident.
I will post Friday when surgery is over.
Thanks my dear friends
Di

Thinking of you and your son Di. I pray everything goes really well and that you guys are safe on the roads.

Suggestion: bring some extra Ativan with you (or whatever anxiety med you use), and a couple doses of migraine meds for yourself, just in case? Just thinking of how much stress you are facing. :o

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

good ideas waves!
be safe di! sending you warm thoughts for safe travels this week.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Hi DiMarie;

Sound like you have your hand full. I had acdf surgery c4 thru c7 and I have shoulder issues now. Please feel free during this proceess if you have any questions to reach out as I would be glad to assist in any way.I wish you all the best for you and your son.

Few suggestions --have straws at home as drinking in a collar is difficult. Most likely he will have bad sore throat for a few days and not be able to swallow well. Have things like yougart,pudding,soups and when taking pain meds --my trick was to drink thru the straw really fast to push the meds down--sometimes the wind pipe is so swollen I noticed if I didnt do it fast i would choke. Buy extra pads for the collar esp if he is a hard collar you sweat alot. If he in a soft collar they give u sleeves u can put around it you can wash. He will he wiped out for awhile ---no lifting anything heavier then a gallon of milk. If you have a recliner he may chose to sleep in that if not a bed with pillows propped up high. Wishing all the best!!

:hug:Sending thoughts and hugs.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear Di,

:circlelove:

Let us know your updates Friday.

'Sending good thoughts and prayers for your son.
Stay safe.

M

Trying to sleep, have to be there at 5;30AM. I feel so supported. Waves,thanks for the reminders just tucked them in my purse. I will update when I hear news.

Mg neck problems,
Thank you so much for the tips, I had not even thought if that. I have receiving blankets that are lite cotton, maybe cut one to sizes. The straw tip I will remember! How long did you stay? Did you have hardware or cadaver bone.

My dgs is sooo upset, he cried himself to sleepfromworry. I feel so bad. He is 7 now, my younger dd and his Mom are staying at my son's with him.

Scared out of my mind, I will update when he is out. Having flash backs to when De had the flesh eating bacteria and almost lost here arm. That was the last surgery and my heart skips a beat, flutters from concern of the what if's and recuperation.
Til the morning,
Di

Dear Di,

You sound as is you are full of nerves.

I hope you can relax tonight and that tomorow goes well.
He is in good hands and the good energy surrounding you and him and your whole family is strong.

Good thoughts. http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-195.gif http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-195.gif http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/smile...mileys-195.gif

M

[Mg neck problems,
Thank you so much for the tips, I had not even thought if that. I have receiving blankets that are lite cotton, maybe cut one to sizes. The straw tip I will remember! How long did you stay? Did you have hardware or cadaver bone.

My dgs is sooo upset, he cried himself to sleepfromworry. I feel so bad. He is 7 now, my younger dd and his Mom are staying at my son's with him.

Scared out of my mind, I will update when he is out. Having flash backs to when De had the flesh eating bacteria and almost lost here arm. That was the last surgery and my heart skips a beat, flutters from concern of the what if's and recuperation.
Til the morning,

I stayed in only 24hrs my guess if things so as planned same for your son. They dont keep u long anymore. I had 2 plates and 8 scews but my fusion was c4 thru c7 which is alot seeing u only have 7 discs in the neck-- and im fused at 4 already. Im sure yoour concerned but they take alot of precautions esp with this surgery. He will be ok ---will need people around to help with meals ...the main thing is telling him for the first few weeks keep the neck straight as possible ---shaving dont even bother for several days and when he does keep head straight ...etc...feel extreme fatigue and soreness but its tolerable. He has to allow himself to be papmered by his family. Please don't be to nervous as it will all turn out ok--next thing u know he will be on the mend!! Please let me know when he come home how thing went. Your in my thoughts and prayers today!!:hug:

p,s for got to mention yes cadaver bone goes in little cages btw the disc and grows around the hardware to create offification which means to bones fuse solid like cement --some use there own bone from hip-- i recvd cadaver bone too--and after 8 months achieved solid fusion. Again wishing the best for your and your son today !!!

good thoughts for DiMarie & Son
 

Dear Di

just wanted to pop by and let you know i am thinking of you and sending good thoughts to you and your son today. will keep checking for updates from you. :heartthrob: :hug::hug::hug:

I am also really glad we have someone here who has been through this to help you guys through this, Di. :) :grouphug:

~ waves ~

a note for Mg Neck Prob
 

Dear Mg Neck Prob

i am sorry that you had to go through this; I hope you are well these days. I just want to say how much I appreciate your participating here. Many of us do not know about these things so your support is precious. And you are very encouraging too! :heartthrob: :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Waves --anytime I can help I found this forum a great group of loving and caring people. I appreciate the comment --made me feel good!! (smile) :hug::hug:

Neck Problems

I so agree with Waves. I have some issues and experience with my elbows
and shoulder as you can tell. But not to the extent I can help.

But I can sure empatize.

Donna


Di,
I am so listening, and paying attention. And wanting to be there for you.
Please keep us updated.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

[Hi all to all of you ,

I do have a request from this group --I think you all now Katmae as member on this forum she has been in hospital since Sunday night--out a message from her son --- and is such a sweet-hearted person. I would hope you all can show her support and send her some well wishes and keep in your thoughts and prayers for when she come home !! Thanks very much:grouphug:

Mg neck problems, thank you for the update on Katmae, I had no idea but will keep her in my prayers!

Ds is out of surgery and surgeon stopped down to discuss his findings. You know he never said what he did to repair, but only what he found.

The spot he was concerned about that looked funny, was a herniation with a piece protruding which he removed. He feels that will resolve the arm, hand and shoulder issues. The MRI did not show the extent of the problem until he got in there.

BUT, he said "he worked on the thing causing the pain going down, not the pain going up I to the head.......so he has no reason to believe that will addresses the reasons for all the ER trips!
Wonderful...


(Oh, update :mad: major anxiety and pain when he woke up. Charge nurse not letting us up. I insisted that Benadryl helps, and better pain med the Percocet. See if I get thrown, not nurses call, when I ve been through out?)

Son is in post up, we have bout a half hour until we can go up and see him. Discharge tomorrow. I can't figure this one out. He had come own last night in his car with his new gf, she had no idea I was going to be here???? Huh?

She asked me this morning if I was working in the area today. Said no, I was down for h two days until discharge.
She has to drive home to pick up her girls, drive back down to here, stay at her sisters nearby until ds is discharged tomorrow????

Ah, was I not suppose to be here? I swear I have the most dysfunctional life. Still awake since yesterday at noon, fretting, worry, and she never knew I was in the same hotel last night.

He left without telling me this morning, I had no idea which exit or road into Hershey to take....he left without me? Then I was waiting at the check in area for him, he called and was at the hospital. I had no idea where the valet for handicap was, parked in the garage, missed the shuttle had to walk in the freezing temps to get here. Asthma hacking, puffing an he tells me they just pulled up to the valet curbside.

Then only one of us could go in pre op, he asked do I really have to go in? I am in there 5 minutes and he asked me to swap. I saw home 2 seconds for a hug and kiss.
My friends here showed more compassion then those two. I feel like a third wheel. Can't wait to crash tonight....guess I am driving home alone, and he ill ride with gf and her kids in the tiny Civic.

Wow dont you love these kids now day how well they communicate --u gotta laugh not to cry--right? Im guessing since they sound like he had a single fusion --if she swallows ok and is breathing fine which all sounds ok --they will discharge in the am. I bet your wiped out --u poor thing missed ths shuttle --i know that area your in --i have friends in hanover pa. good news is tonight take time to yourself and get a good dinner and just relax and sleep --u made it thru the hard part!! I hope the ride home is better then u think ----but yes to me one person in a civic is enough.(lol) If you have questions i pop in and out of this forum thru the day. Glad its over --relax tonight --you sound like a great mom!!

Lol, crisis over, gotta love a ridged nurse, NOT. Doc sent me up,had me give neuro on call his protocol for anxiety, hammered in pain control, and a cervical collar for the night. Spasms were so bad pulling chin down.

Yea, communication, think he didn't We would run into each other. I met her a few times, knew they hung out, but the look I got when I walked in was like I shouldn't be there?

Amish country, really pretty but growing so much from when I took the kids camping here in the 80's.
yes, when I leave tonight, going to the hotel room, watch Shark tank, hot tub if I make, then bed.

I can't say thanks enough, you all are my family! My dear supportive friends.

Mg neck, God sent your post when I needed it. Great friends here through thick, thin and everything in between. :grouphug:
Ds actually ate, he hasn't tinkled, hoping the side affect of dilauden is not the cause.
DL

Di

I was at PT when you came in and posted. Ugh I am so sorry, I wasn't
here to see this and answer.

But I too have some grown son's that don't always remember that I'm
around. But I hope he gets to feeling better.

And that you get to the hot tub and really enjoy the night. Even
with the way she has acted. I hope she gets him home safely.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

Dear Di,

That is some kind of weirdness that the two of them are going through.
Maybe it is not about you at all. Maybe they are not communicating with each other well either.

I am sorry for that nonsense.

They do depend on you and do value you.


Mari

Hey Di...
 

Dear Di,

Glad your son is through the surgery ok and that it should resolve the neck-down issues. Sorry to hear the doc has "no reason to believe" it will help with the migraines.

but we both know migraines are mysterious beasties that often piggy back on other issues - pain stress or anxiety, so i would still tend to think there is some HOPE that the migraines could be secondary and he might start seeing a reduction in frequency and severity once he is healed up and rehab'd.

I don't get how your son behaved towards you. Sometimes kids just don't get how much their parents go through for them. Even resent it when they are young and he is pretty young I think right? I know I was guilty of that when I was younger... gosh maybe even now.

Of course, I am sorry you got treated so badly on top of being worried sick for him. :( I know it had to hurt something fierce, and you do not deserve that kind of treatment. :o :(

Mari is right you know, bottom line he loves you and needs you. You're the only mom he's got, and you are a wonderful mom sweetie.

I hope you are pampering yourself tonight as planned. I agree 200% with letting them deal with the ride back on their own, and you just do what you need to do at this point. I hope the roads and weather are kind and gentle for you during the return trip.

I'm sending you warm thoughts, and lots of hugs. :hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Di,
know that you are a wonderful mother and they will appreciate your efforts.....
thank you for sharing.
know that we appreciate you being here for us.
love you
bizi

Hi, Di, :hug: :hug: :hug:

You got him through the surgery. I hope at night you relaxed a bit in the hotel.


Mari

Thanks all keeping me in thoughts and prayers. He came threw it, home and alienated me. I was so exhausted I crashed, and so much to catch up on.

Did I post he surgeon came in and found a bone fragment pressing on a nerve? He had a real tangible item to see and repair not just symptoms, so happy and hopefully.

Mari,
You were right. I figured out what it was. Ds has not been honest with her bout me supporting he and dgs. She believes it is his house from w/c settlement not my settlement money. He was all paranoid about what we talked about. My kid is in surgery and we are going to discuss things? I just stared at clock and made mall talk after I found out he was hiding me coming.

He rode home with her driving with her 2 1 /2 year old screaming or 45 min before falling asleep. I had to go back to the hospital and get his bed slippers he forgot. It was dark by the time I got on he road. Then the fog rolled in.

It was so foggy that tractor trailers lined he hwy by exits. I finally had to get off an exit nd drive bough town out of the mountains. The drizzle was like black ice in the mountains.

So, anyway....gf was there all day, dil went to put dgs to bed. I am banned and the gf he called my at 3 AM saying how she was drunk and blackin out all the time is the goddess in his life. Me he calls saying he needs money in the bank, for car repair.

My kid treats my so well!
At least his neck is taking care of, now the lumbar, pituitary tumor's hat were never really gone, just out of view, his arm from two rotator cuffs and dr. Said nothing he did should help the migraines.

Oh, I am sorry if I don't catch crazy words inserted by auto spell, or this virtual keyboard. I was recently told my post make no sense, I must be on heavy drugs.
Not this site, an entertainment vacation forum.
:grouphug:

Have to help Katie with catch up school work,
Love Di

bless you di.
((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))
bizi

Di,

That relationship might not last long. I give it until Christmas 2013.

He can manage without your cash. He can find another way to pay for his car.
He is alive because of your love and planning.
Maybe try to think of the trip as not about him. You went for yourself. You wanted to be there to hear that the MD repaired the herniation and that the migraines might not remit after this surgery. You might have had a hard time getting the information otherwise. You did well going through this and learning from the MD.

His lie about the house being his is ridiculous in its hugeness. The truth will change what the GF has been expecting from him financially.
Men are weird. What was his plan? That he could keep his mother and GF apart for ever --- or at least until he came up with another bad idea?

Did you really go back to the hospital to get his slippers???! Wow.

You are a good and careful driver. Even so, I am happy to hear that you made it home in good shape.

You are home safe. Your son got his repair. He will have other procedures. This is a process --- takes one step at a time to get through something like this.
It takes unending love and oceans of patience to be the mother you are. Hugs.

M

Mari is so right about this and well spoken.
bizi

I. Know Bizi,
I am blessed with fantastic friends on here.

(edits for privacy w/ OP permission)

Feelin the love here at least.

Exhausted