Memory and motivation...
 

Ever since my accident, I have a hard time not only remembering what needs to be done, but also finding the gumption to actually DO it. Even when my head isn't too bad, I find that my sense of motivation is SERIOUSLY lacking. I mean, I literally JUST submitted my receipts to insurance for the ENTIRE LAST YEAR. I hadn't sent in a single thing. How freaking horrible is that???

PLEASE tell me I am not the only one suffering from this.

I assure you, camyam, that you are not the only one who suffers from this troublesome aspect.

Last calendar year, it took me nearly 10 mos. to even begin-to-deal-with some insurance billing/issues ... errors.

It's *all* just so brain-energy/capacity consumptive to deal with, I know.

You are definitely not the only one! Most of us here are type A personalities that are normally go go go and I for one am not currently that person anymore. I hate it when someone says... why haven't you done X yet? You're home all day. Most of the time I can't tell them why I haven't done it. I don't know!

One thing that does help is to make a list for the day of things that have to be done and maybe a list of things to do when you're having a good day. I find I have to put EVERYTHING on this list like take a shower, meditate, make supper, phone Dr or I will forget it even if it's part of my routine. Maybe a list will help you with the memory part.

It also kind of helps with the motivation part because you see little things being checked off the list and it makes you feel like you are accomplishing stuff. Doesn't solve all the motivation problems but it helps.

It's not you being horrible it's just part of this terrible recovery process! If you haven't already, try looking at your vitamins/supplements, diet and exercise routine to see if there's any way you can try to get more energy.

Good luck!

CC

In the first months of recovery, I felt so guilty about my fatigue and lack of motivation. I could do so little to help myself let alone my family.

Now I think that being unmotivated/fatigued is my brain's way of communicating to slow down and rest, especially as I have been able to accomplish a bit more each day (ie a shower and a short walk).

I think we should give ourselves permission to heal and not to feel bad about all those "should" to-do lists!

I have to say that I am really noticing this is work, I am operating at a much slower pace, everything is more of an effort.

This is little wonder though as a month ago I fatigued and struggled to listen to two people talking at once, and was fatigued when concentrating when reading.

Whilst two months ago I was in a world of headaches, noise and light sensitivity and constant fatigue.

Now I am trying to do more high level things with actual consequences it is far more mentally taxing and tiring. I have to give myself space.

Whatever stage you are at you must give yourself the time and space to do tasks, and be kind to yourself!

I for one believe this is very real. I often find myself struggling for motivation. It would be all too easy to dismiss this as simple laziness, except that by nature I tend to be a Type A over-achiever (or at least try to). I got excellent grades in school, have a black belt in karate, and started and run my own business.

The accident changed me. I must frequently overcome strong inertia to get anything done. I have a theory that this phenomenon is a basic stage of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The emotions get worked on before the physical body does. CFS is the immune system ordering the body to cease activity. This is a good thing when the body is ill, in that it mandates rest. It is a bad thing when it happens all the time.

If you blow past the emotional signals through discipline, the I.S. responds with more physical signals to slow down, e.g. pain, fatigue, headaches. These are harder to dismiss. But you get the idea. The important thing to realize is that this is not your fault. It's a brain thing.

You're definitely not alone! :hug:

For the remembering part, I rely heavily on my iPhone calendar for reminding me to do things and when. Everything from taking my pills, to feeding the dogs, to appointments, even scheduling my laundry.

I find it also helps with motivation. I'm careful with scheduling to make sure there's not too much to do all at once and not too much in a day, if possible. But if the phone says to do it, I try to go do it, otherwise I know things will pile up and get unmanageable and overwhelming.

If I'm having a really rough day, things are easy to reschedule to the next day or whenever is appropriate.

I also keep all sorts of notes in my phone, people's names, addresses, how much cash I withdrew and where I put it, everything. I'd be lost without my phone.

The other thing that helps me with motivation is right after a nap or when I first wake up in the morning is to do a few things, even just a couple little things... if I know I have a harder (for me) task, that's when I plan to do it... like if I had paperwork to do, that's when I'd schedule it, that's when I'd have the best luck of getting it right the first time. I find by planning to do things like that when I'm at my best, its easier to motivate myself to do them.

Starr

Yes, me too. A very sad and frustrating effect for me. I think it can be related to the problems with dopamine. That is one of the main reasonswhy I tried amantadine....as well as for the fatigue. It apparently helps to keep dopamine going in the brain. Some mds prescribe it to help with motivation. I have tried it for two months and will stop this week to see how things go without it. But I will probably end up on it again....i don't like feeling like I have cement boots and a cement brain!
Thanks for all of the tips! I use my blackberry for appointments, and try to just get up and do one thing....if I can do that, sometimes I get on a roll. But so many things are on hold. Sigh!

Oh, in case you haven't heard? ..... You are not alone...:p :D

I am a Leo; I am proud to be organized; I am a sad Leo - I am no longer organized.

I was a walking Day Planner, Roladex, Calendar, etc.

No More....

I will even now talk to my wife about things, and 5 minutes later ask what we are doing, and get the stare..........."we just talked about that" .....:(

Yep, I do it alot.

:grouphug:

Lesson learned
 

I was definitely a type A Leo, to the extreme. Worked two, sometime three jobs..never stopped...til the fall and pcs.

I consider it a lesson learned. I needed to slow down. This has forced me to slow down. One of my primary jobs now is caring for my aged blind cat.;)

I also believe that one of the reasons why I am recovering so slowly is that I didn't want to rest enough the first few months. So you newbies that are reading this REST!

I agree with one of the posters above. If I am feeling symptoms, I rest. Who cares if things don,t "get done". The healing of my brain is the most important thing that needs to get done! So the floors are not vacuumed. Who cares? It used to drive me crazy. Now I let go.

I did buy a day planner than was easy to look at where I could write large enough so I could read it but the line were light enough not to drive me crazy. I got a headache just picking one out. I write things down that I NEED to do.
Su seb

I have to say that fatigue and pain also has a lot to do with motivation levels. Today I have done very little, I have been very tired, needed to sleep after lunch, my pain levels are up and I have no motivation today. I am probably paying the price for working 2 days this week, and I am scheduled to work 3 next week, including an 8-5. I only hope it gets better!

not to derail this thread... but mouse your back to work schedule sounds VERY aggressive! Is it not possible to stay at the same level for a couple weeks to give your body a chance to get used to that before increasing to the next level? When my NP has talked about my eventual return to work it was much more gradual than this. 2 hour days and not increasing for a couple weeks, etc.

Congratulations on making the jump back to work, now please be careful and don't over do it!

CC

You are right. I over did it yesterday, was up at 7am, worked 8 to 1pm, 45 minute drive there and back each way, and then went shopping in the afternoon (which brought noise sensitivity back temporarily), then stayed up till 1230 watching TV last night. Paying the price now and all day today, I will not be having a day like that again for a while, I have no motivation for anything today.

Yes, you are not alone. I have had to learn that I only have so much energy and I just do a few things every day. As long as I keep to the boundaries that my body imposes on me I don't have major symptoms. When I push it I do. I also think for the people who have had this condition for a long time and medication is needed that you have to work to find what medications work for you and keep a balance. That does not mean trying to get back to where you used to be but keeping a balance with how you are now. I have found medications that work for me and am much better to be around, have better behavior and feel more in control of this chaos. I think depression, anxiety problems, concentration, memory and fatigue issues all come along with this condition and you just have to accept that and do your best to manage the situation as it is now. This is a real challenge for all of us as we all seem to have been real over achieve-ers and always pushed ourselves to do so much in the past. I have owned two businesses and always been such a hard worker. Learning to accept this new slower life is hard but once you do, you may find you like it better. We now have time to stop and smell the roses sort of speak. Make the best of it. Don't be so hard on yourself. As long as you are doing what you can then that is all that can be done.
Brain :grouphug:

Thanks guys. I'm studying now, but my attention is at zero and I switch gears every five minutes or so... but I can at least read again which is god, and pay attention for five minutes which is an improvement over last week! So I'm allowing myself to focus on other things every few minutes, and then draw my focus back to my work as needed... I have lots of time to get it done, so I feel good about even focusing, without the pressure of a timeline.

Good job cam! That is the way to go. Slow and easy with lots of breaks. You can do this. Just work at it a little at a time with lots of breaks. You have plenty of time to get this done. Go easy on yourself. Remember what I said about just going outside for a breath of fresh air for a minute. Helps a lot. Good luck. I am pulling for you.
Brain :hug:

I too am having motivational problems. I am a teacher and have found myself spending less time grading and providing feedback. I also used to joke and socialize with my students all the time, now I feel like a businessman waltzing in and out of the classroom. I feel intense guilt over this, because I know I am denying them the level of education that I was providing earlier in the year...:mad:

I should have this assignment done this morning, then I can start on my next one. I doubt the second one will be completed today, but I need to get going on this, as there are only a couple more weeks left in the term, and I have three assignments beyond this first one to finish. The next two are small'ish... only 3-4 pages. The last one is a little more intense and I'll need more time since I have a whole book I also need to reed in prep too.

I have PD, and have the same symptoms that you have. Motivation is a big problem for me. I empathize with you regarding that. Not fun, is it?

It's tough, but I just need to keep going. I had motivation only a month and a half ago, so I know it can come back... Just with four assignments looming (2 late, 1 due today, and the last assignment due next week) I'm trying not to feel nervous... but I will perservere, and know that slow and steady CAN win this race!

rescheduled my day, as I already have pressure in my head, and still need to finish this assignment, AND attend class.

Happy I cancelled a meeting, although I feel badly for doing so.

Don't feel bad
 

You have to do nothing but focus on you.Do not feel bad be nice to yourself:hug:

Thanks Mia.

Today I am exhausted after so much work yesterday, and a class that runs till almost ten pm, with an hour drive home... Was nearly midnight before I fell into bed... Not horrible, but makes for a tired girl today... and I can't even coast as I simply have too much to do... but it feels good to be up and moving and productive.