I am a mess....
 

help...I am a mess.
I have been on this computer for the past 4 hours.
had such good intentions to get some charting done....
instead I went from one blog to the next to each page that I follow to different forums, facebbok, kept checking to see if anyone responded to my posts...I am a crazed woman. I started picking at my face tonight, my poor chin....
I went to the chat rooms and asked someone to tell me to get off the computer and go to bed. Well that got me off the computer and got me to take my meds and washed face and nite gown on but here I sit again on the computer. now I will have to wait for my meds to kick in.
I wish I were more mature self disciplined, more self reliant, motivated.
I did not get any cleaning done this weekend, only about 2 hours total worth of paper work, I did get to the gym today and ate well. Tonight I did not snack because I was sitting so long on the computer that my shoulders started to hurt because I am hunched over. I did not drink enough water today. I did chat with an old friend on line thru face book. I did go see a client in need of a quick nail cutting out of a corner that was hurting her which turned into half an hour because of her wanting to vent, she has many health problems and is in chronic pain. I felt sorry for her.
It seems when ever jeff is gone I lose all sense of control.
I guess I should be proud of the fact that I did get my billing done today.
I did work yesterday in the afternoon so that was good.
I was obsessed with this computer. I was obsessed with people posting to my blog that I now have....
maybe I should not have a blog...
Maybe I have traded one addiction for another.
I have remained alcohol free which is good but maybe I need to give myself a break.
I am crazy......
bizi

hey!!!
 

Hi sweet Bizi

you are not crazy. you are stressed out because you dislike being alone. if you were strong in every single area of your life, then you would be inhuman.

you are human and try your best and right now i am really proud of you for sticking with the fitness and ... WELL DONE for staying without alcohol even though going through this patch with Jeff gone.

it is easy to trade one addiction for another. but alcohol is a much more harmful one so it's still an improvement. besides that, there's no telling if there's really a trade here ... had you been drinking tonight, and recently you might have been spending all that time on the computer anyway. you would not have been as self conscious about it, or worried about it, because the alcohol would have lowered your inhibitions.

i don't know if you are awake, but i am and if you want to talk i am here.

love you :hug::hug::hug:

waves

thank waves I am going to bed now but thank you for your offer of support. It means alot to me.
love you
bizi

Sleep well
 

Ok Bizi

I'm actually glad to hear you're tucking in... sleep heals mind and body! :)

I hope you get some good rest and feel better tomorrow! :Zzzz::Zzzz::Zzzz:

catchya later... (coz it's already "tomorrow" for me here LOL)

love

waves

Bizi

I have had a problem with being on the computer to much too.

But for me its because I don't have enough to do. Heeheeh, if that
were only true. Mainly not enough to do like running around.

Right now I'm not on near as much as I used to be.

Donna:grouphug:

I got up early to get on the computer and make some coffee. slept about 6 hours, not enough for me.. dear waves, you were up awfully late are you doing the nite owl approach again?
How are you?
love bizi

"in transit" between night-owl schedule and day-schedule... erhmm
 

'Morning Bizi

i'm actually up for the day.

i catnapped during the night? :rolleyes:

i have been night-owling it for quite a while, but my recent migraine run took it out of me so i've been catnapping whenever. I am good to go for today - staying awake hoping to "reset" to a day-schedule. we will be having a tech come soon... sigh, so it's kind of necessary. that and i keep telling myself i will be job hunting or course hunting or something...

btw i usually need two cups of coffee to get going in the "morning" (i.e. whenever i get up, which recently has been like 3pm, lol).

i hope you are feeling better today Bizi.

if you reread your first post, down at the bottom, you write about all of the good things you did, including lots that needed done which you DID do, plus extras like your client who needed an ear... ;) you really have a lot you can feel good about... try to give yourself credit. :hug::hug:

waves

Thanks for pointing that out waves. I feel better this morning getting ready for work now running late when I got up early....
I hope that your resetting your clock works out for you today.
love bizi
going on my 3rd cup of coffee.....

Glad to hear you're feeling better today, Bizi :)

Have a good one! :)

(((hugs)))

waves ...about to grab my afternoon coffee - i think this is the 3rd cup.

hope your day went well waves!
bizi

Hope you both are had or having a good day.

I had a day with doctor's and x-rays and radiation.

Donna:grouphug::hug:

Thanks Bizi,

My day was good - what an enormous a relief not to have a migraine! I ran out of gas around dinner time though and napped the entire evening. Took meds around midnight then slept until 5 am (about an hour ago). I am up for the day now... looks like evening tv will be problematic for a few days hehe.

I hope your day went well, and Donna yours too even with the radiation and the doctors!

waves

I am glad that your day was good! Mine was good too! jeff is home and that makes me happy. How did I get by with him gone for almost 3 weeks last summer?
bizi

Oh Bizi I am so glad he is back home for you too! You ill be feeling so much better, :hug:
Di