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Life..........
Sigh.... I find myself in a place that I have been able to avoid for several months......Some parts of my existence has never-ending turmoil. Many things that are ever so far out of my reach and ability to do change them. Some of those things my spouse and my son are also unable to change. They hear my ranting and raving on a daily basis that the unfair and unjust things of this life should not involve a young child we have raised as our own. I pray for the day that this child's unfit father will be sent forever into a unit hosted by many county and state law enforcement. Many friends and neighbors know this child has been raised for the rather the largest portion of her life (well over 90%) by my spouse and myself. He tends to take her for short periods of time, to show her off, to attempt to show what a wonderful father he is etc.
However when it comes time for food, clothing, shelter, childcare or other needs, she is left for us to take care of all of those little details. But I digress.. the medications are no longer working, things that in the not to distant past that brought me pleasure, my place of employment seems to be pushing me to the point of resignation,even the child herself are no longer able to keep my focus on staying in the here and now. Things seem to be spiraling out of control... The father says he is picking up the child tomorrow afternoon, my spouse is gone yet again to a nearby state. I am not sure that I will be around for my dear child on the late evening of "fathers day" or my work on Monday.. Such a small and unimportant part of this world we are:( |
pooh ..... I include you in my prayers :hug:
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to pooh
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Just a note to thank for the encouragement. See my therapist tomorrow evening. Attempting to get apt with my Psychiatrist the same day I see the pain doc. Gona get a 2fer. After the long drive (200 miles one way) I can park the car an literally walk across a lawn to get from 1 apt to the other. :D Things have not really changed. Had the migraine from hell on fathers day, so "hung-over" was the order of the am... I wonder what else can be added to my stress level before I sink.....:thud::deadhorsebeat::Sob:
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We are not going to let you sink....got our arms around you. :grouphug:
Glad for your appointments...keep us posted. :hug: |
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chin up praying for the uphill ride someone who cares |
Climb
Climb dear Lady, Climb. You have referred to yourself as an old nurse whom I know to be a charge nurse, an OR nurse, an ER nurse, a help you when you need it nurse..........now, allow us to wrap our arms tightly around your frame and squeeze a hug because you ARE our Friend who, having cared so much for others, now needs care for herself. We care, I CARE!
Yes, I have been apart from this bit of the forum of late because I have so many irons in the fire I have overdone.....my fault, I know. Even so, dear Pooh, I care deeply and pray your help was already on the way through therapist and Doc who could attend to your needs medically and therapeutically. Now, we come alongside to give love, hope, and encouragement that you may know we are here with you through this situation, praying it will pass and soon. CARING.....can you feel it in Nowhere? It is coming in bucketloads, Yup :hug: |
Omg
Well the last day I was in the ER was not the my best day. Things happened that will affect my life daily for the next several months. I experienced something
EVERY nurse lives and prays never happens. I got a needle stick from a "dirty " needle. Patient I had used it for was a very high risk patient for nasty blood diseases. I "got" to do all the fun things that go with any incident that occurs, pee in drug screen cup, then have blood drawn for a baseline. Will have to have several more blood draws to assure I have not been infected with any nasty blood transferred things. Patient also had blood drawn for the ER visit, HOWEVER, if he did not give permission to have that blood checked, well I will be in limbo. What more could happen to make this life so difficult to deal with??? On a brighter note I did manage to get an appointment with my psychiatrist for the same day as my pain doc but that will not be until July 8th. In the meantime I am doing physical therapy. Like I needed another thing to my plate!:eek::( |
Same dirty needle stick happened to one of our daughters many years ago. It had a satisfactory ending but changed her from in hospital job to private practice nursing. Unless you know and love a nurse (two of our daughters are nurses) you have no idea how much love they have for their patients and how high their level of stress is.
Thinking of you today dear lady and sending positive thoughts. :hug: |
Oh POOH
Hoping and praying the results for you will be clean and pure so you may be assured nothing awful was transmitted. I have the deepest respect for you and all of your "nurse-mates" [female and male] as yours is one of the most stressful and high risk careers there can be on this planet. Thank you for being YOU and caring for all who need medical attention!! :hug: :grouphug: :circlelove:
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my sister has been a medical assistant who specifically to draw blood and pray no accidents she worked all her life graduating from the school there have been close calls when i was in the hospital for my pfcd in recovery was an elderly woman hip surgery handled her accident in bed #2 about an hour later she comes in and undoes my urine bag without gloves she askes me if i needed anything she came on the evening shift my nurse not after the next thing that happened told her my meds would be nice helps me with my pillow an her hands smelled poopy i blurt out what is that horrible smell it was her hands hope that lightened your long horrible clearance familiar through sister praying someone who cares |
Nurse stuck with dirty needle and additional family issues
Oh dear, you've been dealt a rough hand. This happened to my dtr in law recently, but it was a small prick about six months ago and think she is ok, though she's worried herself sick.
You hang in there, and somehow feel yourself surrounded by the love and hope. Take care!:hug: Quote:
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I have been in the same place as you were Pooh. In my 40 years as an RN, I received 2 dirty needle stick injuries, and just before I retired I was stabbed with a pair of dirty scissors from an "at risk" patient. You're right! All those tests are a pain in the neck, and that 3 month wait seems like forever. But it WILL be OK. I'll be thinking of you and praying for a negative result. I "knew" mine would be negative and it was! Your's will be too! :hug:
What a shame I didn't know that you were a nurse too before we both left the profession. We could have chatted hospital type gossip and had a good old natter. :D |
???!!!
As of this date I am still trying to be a nurse. Each day is harder then the last....:confused: the upper management does not understand patient acuity (how ill and or how many it takes to care for each patient) today I was told to call off a LPN-C for the night shift @ 9am. This was against my old nurse better judgment, we had only 3 patients on the floor at that time HOWEVER one was a total mechanical lift, one was demanding, wanting something every minute or two more to see people then for true wants or needs. And the other 2 required 2 staff to ambulate....
So about 4pm the flood gates open up :thud: The 1st admit is another mechanical lift, has many open wounds needs to be fed, is also dependent on staff to do basic cares (turn clean up etc.) This also requires 2 staff to do. The next patient was a very nice but VERY confused 90 year old lady with pneumonia and small blood clots in her lungs. We put her in a room that I can oversee while doing the admission paperwork, entering medications verifying those same medications. I did turn a bed alarm on her to give me a "heads up" should I be focusing on the computer instead of the patient (so hard to get the computer work done with out focusing on computer: Good-Luck::Sob::Crazy 2:) Last patient is a rather heavy set my again very nice lady with a fractured pelvis. All three of the admits have at least 17 pages of orders :eek::Help::icon_cry: The DON was notified of the fact that the night shift would be VERY short staffed, "They will be ok" At 8pm my shift was finally at and end yet another 14 hour day with no breaks, lunch was had at 5:30 pm at the aforementioned computer. :Sigh: And the higher ups wonder why nurse turn over is so high. Just so tired of working here there and everywhere in the facility... Still waiting to hear my blood results..... Saw my own provider yesterday for some concerns, this clinic visit was questioned my the infection control nurse and human resources "why would she need to do that??:mad: I also relayed the fact that I am just not able to find my way out of this pit... Of course he voices concern this am when he finds me as the charge nurse... "Are you ok to work? Have you talked to the shrink? My therapist? How is your pain today? and finally "I will keep praying for you" The last helps, as well as the fact he is a personal friend as well as my caregiver, and my coworker The kind caring attitude of my employer, my spouse and other non-nursing staff is killing me. I wonder if I can take disability due to my pain, my depression and my just plain reaching my limit on the burnout scale :cool::girl(sad)::Hum::Help::yikes::deadhorse: Just so tired of it all |
Oh Pooh .... I hear you!
Shades of my evening and night shifts while I was working. I had evenings just like that one, and I worked the night shift after the evening that you had, so I do understand the conditions that you're working under. It's a shame that you couldn't demand an extra staff member, but I know that nearly always impossible! If only we all lived in a perfect world...... At one stage I heard there were more registered nurses working in Myer (a chain store here in Australia), than there were RNs working in hospitals in the whole of the state. With the conditions that RNs sometimes have to work under, it's no wonder that they cannot retain staff. :( I hope you feel better soon. Meanwhile, please know that I understand at least some of what you're going through. I may be retired now, but I do understand. :hug: |
One last try
Dear poo What do you have to loose If you are ready DO IT Someone who cares |
Dear POOH
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wanting to be able to provide some sort of credible help to you. I write. I pray. These things are not much but they are what I have.
Plus, I CARE, Caring even now, Yup:hug: |
Life Continues
Still waiting not so patiently for my lab results.. Mark has been trying to help me cope with the
'everything". I appreciate his efforts as well as all of you here....Very frustrated with work at this time. Would like to change employers but I do not think that would be helpful in the long road. :Sigh: am hoping my trip to the city will bring some sort of hope to my world... Will continue to lurk... Thanks again |
Blood work
Well today I finally got the results of both my blood work and the patient. We are both negative at this time. However I will still have to have blood work drawn at 6 and12 weeks the 6 months. Both docs from the "city" made changes in my meds and plan of care. I will return for follow-up visits in 1 month. I finally have gotten the schedulers in both clinics to work with me so I only have to make 1 trip:o Things at work are continuing as before. One nurse is out on bed rest for her and her baby's health. I will already have overtime this week so they are leaving me alone so far... The monster is having swimming lessons so there is more coordinating of help to get her there when I am working late. I will be glad when this week is over but suspect that things will continue for some time.
I hope this finds you all coping with the world.... |
Pooh,
you are a precious vessel to whom many look up to. My prayer is that you will find rest for your weary bones. You are being pulled in so many directions. Let that Peace that passes all understanding fall upon you, even for a night. Rest well my friend. Rae :hug: |
Pooh
Great news about your test results!
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So GLAD you are Negative...
Well, to correct my stance....... YOU are not negative..... your RESULTS are, and that is the bestest of news!
May all continue to be negative in that regard at the followup test dates. HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ :hug: |
Always ready to hold up a fellow sufferer
You beautiful selfless person As a caretaker myself You may be tired and put in your time as a caretaker and hope when it comes time to leave as your time is up and now time for YOU I WISH YOU A MASSAGE EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT ONCE A WEEK IF YOUR OTHER HALF IS NOT UP FOR IT BUT I THINK YOU GET TH PICTURE with much love Someone who cares |
What next????
Just so very frustrating.. Seems that suddenly "the atmosphere of caring and trust" has slid south into the "OMG" the census is lower then "normal' (they set the budget based on last years high census :confused::confused:) We must set staff below acuity to make the budget. So very dangerous! Medicare will soon be paying extra $$ for patient happiness, patients keeping out of the hospital for at least 30 days. Hard to do both when the few (or one) floor nurse has to care for patients who need to be repositioned every 2 hours but require 2 staff to do, hard to do when the "charge nurse" is also the "ER nurse".
Just don't know why I keep fighting the system :cool: Don't know why I keep fighting the dogs of darkness and the never-ending pain |
You do this.............
Because you CARE, because you are YOU, because to move on may not provide you the healthcare benefits you Need, and because not to press on in the face of personal pain somehow [at least for me it did] seem to resonate within as capitulating defeat.
I was unwilling to be defeated after having come out of the depths of depression which so nearly consumed me body, mind, and soul. Now, having not been successful for the bar exam in TX in February due to the confluence of getting around the blizzard and dealing with my pain, I am sitting for it again in two weeks time. So, defeat is something hard for me to accept. I suspect we are just a tiny bit similar there. Pretty tired lately from 14 to 16 hour days for a while.... fall asleep as I read the study materials. I imagine you are similarly weary with all of the hospital covering you must do there in Nowhere. Maybe sometime we need to take our spouses and have a party in NeverNeverLand...... brush the dust off of our feet, sit a spell, maybe take a ride on an amusement in the park..... prove to ourselves there is life beyond career. :) I have not been back at it for as long as you, but I admit to being bone tired. I will pray for you [will you throw some back in this direction?]. HUGZ for you, the monster, the family, and that your work situation resolves :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :grouphug: |
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