can't and dont want to suffer anymore
 

was poisoned by doctor alan leff of new York 6 years back. he gave me two drugs that caused a brain injury and I still suffer every moment after all these years. confusion, impotence, tittinus, can't take noise, night terrors, have lost job and all my friends. have nothing to live for. not getting better, getting worse.

I hate the pharmaceutical industry and the doctor that got me sick. I really am a step away from just doing the unthinkable. life is not worth living when there is no quality. also have chronic diarrhea from incident, anxiety and depression, and feeling like I cant catch my breath.

I hope that doctor suffers as much or more than I have. please don't tell me how precious life is, it is not when all you do is suffer. I am alone in the house day and night to sick to work and just can't take it anymore.

Sorry to hear of your troubles. People on here might be able to help a little, but if you are feeling the way you are I think you need to talk to a health professional.

I was in a desperate state with light/noise sensitivity, memory loss, chronic headaches, tinnitus, insomnia, fatigue etc until I was prescribed an antidepressant, and now things have since improved.

Head/brain injuries may cause chemical imbalances in the brain which heighten symptoms and also affect mood, but there are some medications out there that may help you. They have certainly helped me.

i'm on remeron but it is not really helping. I appreciate your post and I suffer from all the things you mentioned. have appointments with psychologist, neurologist, and endocrinologist. I guess I will see what happens. started aggressive vitamin regimen a few weeks back, about three, but have seen no results yet. I appreciate your feedback. what antidepressant were you on.

Hi so sorry to hear about your problem. I was at a vey low time end of last year and I understand the way you feel. Have you tried counselling . I did and it really helped having someone to talk to and make you see things in a different light. I look back now and think how far I have come.
You must not give up hope you have come this far now.
Good wishes to you
Carole x

thanks carole I am terribly frightened. just had a friend come over and I couldn't even stand for 10 minutes without getting nauseous and dizzy. it's so disheartening. I am at the end of my ropes.

Hang in there
 

Mark,

It will take more than 3 weeks for the vitamins and supplements to work through your system.

I hope you have a support system around you and you get help for your anxiety and suffering. I really do.

I am not nearly as medically savvy as other people on this board, but there is a lot of really good advice here and please give it some more time. Other people will weigh in too with their experience.

I will pray for you, as that is the best I can offer.

Sincerely,

poetrymom

thanks poetrymom, I will continue to take the vitamins and see what happens

The vitamin and nutrition regimen is not a cure all. It also helps to develop behavioral disciplines to reduce stress levels

Both can help you live the best life possible.

Hi, Haven't been here for a while and had the chance to meet you, markneil. Thanks for answering my other posting.

Alas, I had a wrong drug dose given to me by a doc that "fired me after" and other bad experiences. It is very frustrating and I was devastated. I was affected physically as well. I have learned to be sooo careful with any drug, even supplements and no matter how frustrated docs get refuse any drug that made me worse.

A lot of people leave here once they get better and do not get to share how great they are feeling now. I was once so sick. I couldn't do even one minute standing without help for months. Dizziness pain suffering I know.

Hang in there, you will have some hardest of hard times but allow yourself to know it will improve. When it is really bad just ask for support here and read only the positive posts for a while.

Oh just read the part about stomach issues. i also had that and you have to always take pills with food and only get high quality vitamins from the health food store. I think the spasms have to do with stomach issues. Drink tons of water.
Take care.

Cymbalta, firstly 30mg and currently 60mg - it has worked wonders for me. It doesn't agree with everyone, and is a strong medication at first with several side effects, but these should hopefully go after two weeks. Good luck in whatever you decide.

thanks for the replies guys. I wake up very sick and confused with blurred vision and that kind of sets the tone for the day. I guess I just have to stay positive in the face of so much suffering. I am glad you guys are doing better,

One night in all my frustration and confusion it was my husband and mother that saved me. I was at a bad place because I didn't have the capacity to understand my injuries.

My second rock bottom, when I did have more understanding, it was the people here that rescued me.

Everybody needs somebody. I'm here if you just want someone to talk to.

Peace, Jace

Don't do it
 

Mark,

I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling mate. Post haemorrhage I was horrifically depressed, not helped at all by an anti-depressant that had side effects of.... yup depression! I reached an all time low and took a massive morphine and other such drugs overdose. Thankfully I passed out quickly from the drugs before I had any chance to do more damage to myself and recovered fully after admission to hospital and stomach pumping. Seriously though, I have come such a long way since then, and I hope, so will you. I'm drug and antidepressant free now and other than the episodes I laid out on my other post, function normally.

Really Mark, don't do anything stupid, like I tried to. Look at things and realize that if this is the worst it gets, it can only, surely get better. Even if you need help and medication.
I believe that we only get one life, and if you end that, then that's it, there is nothing, and that's not where I want to be. Best of luck with your appointments.

Mav

Mark,
Are you talking to anyone? A neuropsychologist? It has really helped me. Took several tries to find the one for me. It was well worth it. I'd say it saved my life.

Peace, Jace

thanks for the input guys. I am going to see a neuropsychologist. I have so many symptoms I lose count. but I will hang in there if only for my nephews and nieces. I just don't see any proof out there of improving after six long years.

mark,

Have you ever tried to 'make piece' with the causes of your problems ? It sounds like you are stuck in a 'It is not fair that somebody was negligent and did this to me.' That kind of mental load will definitely cause symptoms to continue, just do to the psychological stress.

that mentality is destroying me. I try to let go of it but I have lost so much as a result of what was done that I find it hard. had to forget about marriage, kids, a job, it's too much sometimes.