In the blink of an eye...
 

... everything changes.

My father in-law passed away today. My husband had tickets to go to San Francisco on Wednesday to spend Thanksgiving with his Dad. Three weeks ago, when he was diagnosed with lung cancer that had spread throughout his body, they gave him six months. This is when we bought the tickets. My husband has a new job that he just started a month ago. We were trying to capitalize on how many days off he had for thanksgiving to spend with his Dad. My husbands college term papers are due this weekend.

A few days ago they have him a month. They called this morning and said he probably wouldn't make it through the weekend. I told my husband to come home from work. I was searching flights to get him out today. He wasn't home from work longer than 10 minutes and they called to say he was gone.

I am now going with my husband and we leave tomorrow night. My brother in-law will also be traveling with us. My father in-law is a Veteran and he will be laid to rest in the National Cemetery next week.

I am scrambling to get details buttoned up here at home, and orchestrate my youngest child; she has two days of school next week. My goodness, laundry, packing, car rentals, hotels, clean sheets for family staying at my house...

I am so trying to stay on top of pain levels....

<sigh> I guess I just wanted to pause and share. I know you all know how this disease feeds on stress. I'm hoping I do okay with all this traveling and different beds, etc. My body is yelling now and there is still so much to do tonight to be gone for a week.

Off I go....

So sorry about your dad. You have a lot on your plate so kiddos for keeping it together. I relate to the stress factor so good luck with that. Tell your hubby sorry for me and find comfort in knowing that his dad is no longer in pain. Also thanks to his dad for his service...

Vrae honey, I'm so sorry :(

There isn't much you can do at times like this except try and find time to pause for some deep breaths on a regular basis, and try not to let that stress and tension build up too much in your neck and shoulders. It's a impossible situation because there is so much you just have to get through, and there isn't any choice in the matter. You have to be there for your husband, look after your kids, sort the house, feed everyone, stay reasonably sane...:rolleyes:

It will be amazing for your husband to have his father laid to rest in the National Cemetery, an incredibly sad but proud moment for him.

You're strong and amazing Vrae. You'll get through this sad time, and you will be the rock everyone leans on. That's hard when you're not feeling great yourself, but you can do it and your husband will never forget the support you are giving him. Just don't forget your meds ;), take anything you can that will offer you even a tiny bit more comfort, and keep in touch if you can occasionally.

I'll be thinking of you. Stay safe and well.

Bram :hug:

Oh , so sorry for your family's loss!! That alone is so difficult to deal with but now pile on everything else! Just do what you can and please try to take help if it's offered & if it will indeed help.
I've been through those times when you're barely keeping your head above water and something else devastating happens.
I wish in reality there was something I could do to lighten your load.
I'm sure you may not have time to post for awhile, but please know thoughts, prayers, hearts and hugs are with you in spirit. :hug:

So Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. Time goes by way to fast.

My grandfather was buried in Arlington a few years ago. It was the most moving experience I've ever had to date. You should be very proud of him.

I hope your pain doesn't get to out of hand. To bad you can't tell your body...."Not now, bad timing".
Good luck...safe travels.
Heather

Oh Vrae, I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you will be able to accompany your husband. Please take care of yourself through this and I hope you have safe travels.


You and your family are in my thoughts.
Nanc
:hug:

I'm so sorry, Vrae! Try to pace yourself as best as you can, and let the little things slide. And please be sure to use wheelchairs at the airport if they help you! I use them all the time now, and it really makes a difference.

I'm so sorry your husband missed that last visit with his dad. I'm sure his dad knew he wanted to be there, though. Hopefully you can get some sort of extension on those term papers for a death of a parent.

I'll be thinking and praying for you, as will the other wonderful people here. Please check in when you can and let us know how it's going. Gentle hugs, and take care of yourself, too!

Oh Vrae....I'm so sorry.
 

Almost the same thing happened to my father back in 2009. It can happen so fast. My heart truly goes out to your husband, yo and the entire family. I was only 26 when I lost my dad and know how deeply it hurts. Do try do breathe deep and try for some calm. The last thing you would need is a flare up with everything else you are both dealing with.

The only thing I will say is at least your FIL did not suffer for too long. I watched my grandmother slowly waste away. I dont mean to lessen the pain or sound crass, but it's slightly better.

Be as strong as you can for your husband, Hold him close and let him know you're there for him, that you love him. If he can't talk about his emotions, dont push, if he breaks down just hold him.

God, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. And know I am here ANY time you might need to talk.

My love, thoughts, and prayers are with you all in your time of loss.

Vrae, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your pain levels are not too bad with all the stress and the travelling. I am glad you will be able to be there. My thoughts are with you.

:hug:

So Sorry
 

Just wanted you and your family to know I am truly sorry for your loss..

How are you holding up Vrae?
 

Hey Hun,

I was just wondering how you and your family are doing in this rough time. I'm sure you have so many things going on and probably dont feel up to posting. I just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it sounds trite but I am always here if you need someone to talk to.

I found this poem about losing your dad when mine passed. It brought me a little comfort I hope it can help you too a bit.

Dad, our sadness knows no end;
We can’t believe you’re gone;
We’re grieving for you every day;
It’s hard to carry on.
You were always there to support and care,
When we needed a true friend,
How we’ll ever do without our dad,
We cannot comprehend.
You were our teacher and our guide,
Our dad, so good and strong;
Your example will sustain us now,
And last our whole lives long.
We’re trying to communicate;
We hope that you can hear;
Expressing what we feel for you,
Helps us feel you’re near.
Our memories of the times we had
Help the pain to go away.
But Dad, our lives won’t be the same;
We’ll miss you every day.
A part of us went with you;
You left a gap too big to fill;
You’re our father and our hero;
We love you and we always will.

With love
Songbird

I'm sorry Vrae. Your Father-in-law is at peace. Please take some solace in that. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Vrae, I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Hey Vrae honey, how are you? I hope everything is going as well as it can considering everything...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and I hope your CRPS isn't giving you too much trouble. It's so hard when you add emotional strain on top of the physical stuff too. Take care of yourself.

Bram :hug:

Very sorry for your families loss.