Has pain changed your personality?
 

I find myself a lot less tolerant and less patient due to pain. It is like I have become a different person that I do not even recognize. Things that normally would have annoyed me now make me so angry I could scream.

I no longer "bite my tongue" and I now "speak my mind" even when it may not be the proper thing to do. What happened to the person I used to be?

Did I get "lost" in pain? Anyone else see changes in your own personality as a result of your pain?

Yes
 

Oh gosh you read my mind. Yes yes yes, I say things and do things I would never have done before, little things annoy the hell out of me. I speak up when I haven't before and i so wish I could zipper up my mouth.

Yep
 

Indubitably. Are men & women different? :Dunno: I ask because my changes seem to be in the opposite direction; I'm letting things slide that I never did before, though honestly I think it's been a process. I keep some kind of external stimulation (tv, radio, music) almost constantly to distract myself from pain. Anything to focus on.

Adrenal hormone replacement has reversed some of the personality changes.

Doc

Hi, what pain meds do you take? I have found that oxynorm loosens my tongue, I am impatient with family members and speak out, my tone of voice is louder than it usually is and I get so very annoyed at the littlest if things. I am no longer able to work, but when I was, I would find myself "over sharing" telling stories of my life that I most definitely would not share under normal circumstances.

It got so bad that I restricted my med intake to the barest minimum and now, even though I'm at home all day alone, I still only take the barest minimum because if I took what I'm supposed to I feel great and get up and do things that when the drug wears off I physically pay for.

I take now 20mg OxyContin slow release and that's it for the day. I'm supposed to take it twice a day along with oxy norm 5mg for breakthrough pain, but I would rather grit my teeth and use cold packs than have that feeling of euphoria and conquer the world. With it, I get the urge to search the internet for jobs I can do and get the urge to apply for them. Fortunately my IPad doesn't hold my cv otherwise last week, I would have applied for a job I could do with my eyes closed!

So, the long and short of it, I know that endone, oxynorm or OxyContin make me a monster but I need it to get through the day. Now, I tell people it makes me short tempered and I apologise in advance.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this as well, life has already dealt us a blow.

PamelaJune,

Have you discussed this with your doctor? From your narrative, it sounds like some kind of adjustment (dosage/medication/both) may be in order, and there are options.

Doc

Options
 

Hi dr smith, we have tried, I used to live in the UK for 15 years and took dyhdracodeine or df118 as it's also known. I took 20mg a day and for 15 years had no problems whatsoever, now bowel blockages, no personality issues etc. Then I had the head on car accident that changed my life (not my fault) and came home to Australia. Aus don't do df118. They stopped it in 2002 and we moved back in 2005. So we began a trial of what works etc, the long and the short of a number of drugs, so many I can't recall but here's a few, tramadol makes me vomit violently, durogesic patches I'm allergic to the adhesive, and a number of non opioids that didn't do anything. I used to have rhyzotomies every 6 months from 2006 but they stopped once I had the seizure. So now I have the stim implant and I just use the slow release oxy, which, doesn't give me the short temper, it's the endone and oxy norm fast acting for break through pain that do. We have also tried endep 25mg and 10mg but I have bad side effects that result in tremors and since the seizure, also a no go. tried Valium which made me feel sleepy and given I was working at the time I needed my brain switched on so had to stop, then they put me on Xanax but I heard such horror stories I stopped and went through 4 days of withdrawals and given I was only taking .5mg I'm never putting myself through that again. The sad thing is they really helped considerably. So, I'm really hoping they can get this stim sorted and I can get my life back med free. Yay, I'm seeing the rep and PM on Wednesday 22 and believe they will discuss the paddle implant. Any things you can suggest?

I think it's perfectly normal to be angry at the world when you are suffering.
I also blame some hostility on medications..but really, it's killing you that you have been robbed of your health....

I get madly jealous of my colleagues at school or girls on the street. they don't have to deal with nerve pain and sexual dysfunction. I have had to give up my dream of ever getting married have children..at 26 years old.

So yeah, I am very angry. I just hope I don't stab someone :D (kidding)

Anger is one of the stages in the Kübler-Ross Model. I don't know if that's what Hopeless meant or something a bit different. I inferred the latter, BICBW.

Doc

absolutely see a difference in my personality. when my pain is bad or getting to the end of a dose, I am short tempered and snap at people. I am just ballistic when driving and people are rude or cut me off and I have to slam on my brakes. You are definitely not alone....Diandra

you sweet soul
i call it the "monster" pain
what you are experience is so normal
it trying to keep it at bay
i hope you are able to take the proper
medication hopefully without side effects
i myself am not that lucky with the meds
to control the nerves related condition
as i had severe side affects
no you are not nuts
and ease up on yourself
if the ones closest to you do not
understand what needs tending to
helping rather than hurting
just make yourself understood
there is nothing wrong with that
you are letting all understand
where you are
and if i may
i am quite scary when my pain is up in the 7 & 8
on that smiley face scale lol
you are human and we feel pain no one can see
that's the hardest
how it cannot be seen my hands do not feel
like they are a part of my body hardly any feeling
left
chronic pain the pits
it robs us from so much

however on the up side of this
i have become truly spiritual
and blessed to have found this wondrous place
with beautiful caring persons
God bless

Pam,

While I am on a very high dose of Oxycontin (60mgs every 6 hrs); the Percocet for breakthru pain is when I take my Vallium. When I had my spine fusion 8 years ago; while in the hospital, the nurse was giving me the Vallium and Percocet at the same time. I asked her why she was doing these two together. She told me the Percocet works so much better when taking the Vallium together.

Just wondering, since you say, the problem seems worse with your other med and Xanax just maybe the Vallium would not make you as sleepy when taking with something like Percocet (Oxycodone; generic) for breakthru. It really helps me with the sleepy problem and the anger issues due to meds.

Now....awful pain is another story. Really hard not to have some nasty issues.



Gerry

As Percocet contains both oxycodone and acetaminophen, it's really like taking three medications together. This is one of the interactions I was thinking of when I wrote...
Any medication interaction site will verify this. In fact, these were two of the medications found in Heath Ledger's system (along with several others).

Medical professionals are in a better position (knowledge, experience) to make medical judgment calls on things like this because they are (or should be) familiar with a patient's medical history, medication tolerance(s), and other factors.

Doc

absolutely
 

When I have excruciating pain I am a screamer. I have zero tolerance or patience and yell at my loved ones over stuff that would never bother me if I felt ok. The worst part is I know how much of a grouch I'm being but I can't help it. I always apologize when my pain simmers down because I know how terrible I am, but it still makes me feel bad. Sometimes I count my blessings I still have people willing to be around me. When I'm really bad I isolate myself to avoid outbursts. I just feel bad for the poor soul that crosses my path.

Again, unless u r like us, no one can really understand what chronic pain does. Ive never been a mean person, but I sure can be. Just another pleasant side effect of our pain! On my good days I really like to do as many nice things as possible for my loved ones.

Doc,
 

Just mentioned the Vallium because of her issues with Xanax and breakthru meds which obivously have already been prescribed for her.

Otherwise; completely agree.



Gerry

Sorry Gerry,

Didn't mean anything personally. Sometimes when I opine I'm thinking about lurkers/googlers. :cool2:

Doc

Pam,

Just me again.....Not sure I made myself very clear in mentioning the Vallium and breakthru pain (whatever breakthru pain you are taking) . I, myself, would get a bit more hyper and energenic when taking my breakthru med.

The point I was trying to make was when taking the Vallium at the same time as the breakthru; I don't get overly hyper from the breakthru, nor overly sleepy/tired from the Vallium so together they seem to level things. (The Vallium is for muscle spasms, as well as anxiety.) Of course; consulting with your doctor is a must.

You have so many pain issues going on at the same time. Really rough without your breakthru pain meds causing you additional pain from doing too much.:hug:



Gerry

Absolutely!
 

That's the worst part of pain - that it changes who you are and it is a constant struggle to prevent that. One day, your pain may be managed, and you are confident and self-assured. Another (like today for me), you are suffering and it calls everything in question. I can make it through next week, but how do I continue working like this, suffering from neuropathy, for the next 15 years? How do I provide for my children and wife? The pain causes me to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I cannot relex and take a nice vacation. Instead, I should be saving the money for when I may not be able to work in the future. It is easy to think heroicly and say that you "won't let the pain stop you", but in the real world few of us have that intestinal fortitude. Most of us are mere mortals. The pain grinds on us and wears us down. Like I am prone to say, it does not give you the weekend off or take any vacations. It is unrelenting in its demand for attention. And when it gets to a certain level, you simply cannot block it out.

I wish you all well!

Thank you Evantwins.
It is how we all get. One day not so bad. Another day just unbearable and can't think of anything else.

Yes, pain has changed me. I cannot possibly continue to be my sweet, easygoing, tranquil self.
And it kills me that with no relief, that easygoing me is gone. I liked her.
I now am mostly isolated without social fabric or interaction with others.
I never thought I would describe myself as, now, cynical, bitter, agitated, grumpy, resentful,
an old curmudgeon even! This is not how I want to live. This is not a life. This is not me.

Heavens, yes!!! I used to be a fun, patient, outgoing person. Not anymore. :(

Hi Folks,

I just reread this thread, and it occurs to me that while we're all no longer the "freaking rays of sunshine" we used to be, is anyone doing anything about it? Solutions to offer?

My best adaptation (as I've discussed elsewhere before) is that I no longer talk about anything medical (relating to myself) with anyone outside my "inner circle". Since I've stopped talking (i.e. complaining) I've stopped alienating people.

Making it a point—i.e. making time—to laugh and do something I truly enjoy—that brings/gives me joy—every day has also been very therapeutic. Acting/being silly like I used to is—for me—part of this.

Avoiding the opposite (things that causes stress/unhappiness) is another. I choose my battles more carefully. ...The more I sit here and try to think of other things, the more apparent it becomes how much is in that simple statement—I choose my battles more carefully.

Doc

Dr. Smith,

Lost in space, yes, I was an avid watcher as a kid. I, like you, tend to let things slide a bit also, but that's always been my personality. I do find having the TV on or the radio helps, distracts from pain, I listen to different white noise generators, generally rainfall at night to try to sleep. I'm new to doing these types of web pages but decided I needed to read what others go through. I'm laid back, folks think I'm doing great, but inside doesn't feel great. I'm still fairly patient but I can't do much so not much to "test" my patience. But all in all, I'm more withdrawn, and let more slide past. For myself, I'm in enough pain, I don't need to add mental stress too. Just my thoughts. Now how do I post. Can you tell I'm green at this

I snap out more often, but my biggest change has been how sedentary I've become.

It's the inactivity that's going to do me in if I don't make a change.

Hi kewlgrandpa, welcome.

You just did. If you meant starting a new thread, on each forum page (where all the threads/discussions are listed) there's a button at the top left of the threads entitled "New Thread". Click on that, and away you go.

If you have other questions, check out the FAQ section. Most will be answered there.

Doc

I posted on this some time ago
 

Since then I have made a conscious effort to identify what can trigger me and I have noticed I can be on a short fuse about 40 minutes after I take Endone or, if the subject of money is raised, I become extremely anxious. So, I've stopped taking Endone and told my family and friends not to talk to me about money. It's a bit tough at the minute as our government has just announced the budget that's going to shaft the disabled and those who regularly require GP visits so it's a hot topic. But, there you go, there is hope, and with time I'm sure I can regain my equanimity ....:eek:

And this is how I have been feeling lately
 

So very much how I feel now
I awake from the throbbing in my hips and knees
My head I want to take off and hold it
My right upper back burn
Can't stand on my own feet they hurt so badly
Fingers what fingers
Where the ocean be so vast in its calm
We were only hour away from the devestation
We too incurred trouble
Trouble getting my medicines that and
WHAT the HOSPITAL did medicine related
I WILL NEVER FORGET
THAT BE THE REASON
I REFUSE
Forget about refuse
The last two surgeons said
Loud and clear
NO SURGERY
"To many things going on"
And nausea has become a real issue
No changes in Meds
I do smoke cannabis as ALL DOCTORS KNOW
including when under any procedure or sugery
However I have an additional factor
My gut other than the nausea has a feeling
Something is up
I know me
I FEEL ME
THERE IS ONE CHANGE
An abundance of fresh fruit
and vegetables cannot get enough of them
I mean in abundance
For example if it's celery
It will be the whole bunch
If it be romaine lettuce a head for me
Carrots raw can't get enough
one other drug my pain specialist took me off of
as it did not help the hips or knees or hands
that wakes me from my sleep

NORTRYPTALINE (spelling off)

And the nausea started about a month ago

Wondering if it is hormonal
My two girls get their period
It does affect me
I do not like having to smoke
It is a hit small every few hours
The only thing that helps
And I'll do whatever to avoid vomiting
after my second screwed up cervical fixing
I did not fuse the first time
I think that's because I went back to work
to soon it was two weeks
And a year later PCDF
four months later found my breast cancer
6 months after second surgry
Had taken off my breasts hoping to arrest it
Now there are being tests to rule out my last MRI
This past January either a bone infection in my
lumbar area or matatastic disease (cancer)
Today we start the bloodwork the beginning
of the end of what's going on

TO EVERYONE WHO SUFFERS CHRONIC PAIN
THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE SAYS YOU DON'T LOOK
THAT BAD
I WANT TO SAY
mind you it's only in my head
Want to say
The next te you have a real hard time with elimaniting
number two
Just remember what you just said
Chances are noone other than yourself in the John
noone there to see the pain on your face
A side effect from Meds
Hence the reason for my gross analogy
You just never know
Like my grown up poet Saraeve and epilepsy
it's invisible
But oh when that MONSTER PAIN HITS
all please remove yourself
And leave me in an air conditioned room with a clean
hard surface to lay on
I think I said enough
I'm not out to scare anyone
This is my story
Be well as well as you can be
Love to all in the world
Me

I hope your doctor has been able to work with you to find an alternative.

Doc

Can you use another method of delivery (e.g. comestibles, vaporizer)?

Doc

have been doing homework
may give vaporizer a try
thanks for input
be well
me

Nope
 

My doctor insists I take the breakthrough pain meds, but has agreed to change it to Oxynorm.

My GP is also angry that I decreased my antidepressant again. She upped it to 100mg and I could see no difference so dropped back to 50. My aim is to get back down to Zero. I know my chronic pain and inability to work is at the root of my depression and I know from all my reading that the body can find its way to producing seratonin again without medicinal prompting. It's been a great medication but I have noticed it, in combination with the endone just don't help me to be the person I can be.

I accept the old me will never be back, it's impossible due to the damage suffered physically, mentally and emotionally. I am 53, changes to Govt and the new budget set down will significantly affect our household. The disability pension which I had hoped I would one day (some years down the track) be eligible has tightened and physical impairment graded by % to qualify, being able to move and drive demonstrates a capacity to work and retirement age, currently 65 increased to 67 (& will further increase to 70). Every visit to the GP, physician, surgeon, pain mgt specialist, physio, and psych will incur an additional $7.00 on top of what I already pay. Every script from the pharmacy will incur an additional $7.00. Every time I have a procedure each and every doctor involved will incur a further $7.00, so blood tests, X-rays, anything that includes a Dr or specialist in their field will incur a further $7.00. The treasurer reckons as a nation we just can't be that sick so these additional $7.00 fees will be minimal to the average family. All this and much more means I have to begin now while I can to find a way through this fog and find a me that is acceptable, dare I say palatable, so that I can once again confidently don business suits and forge my way out into the working world. Someone who doesn't need to attend the doctor on a monthly basis or need medication to manage pain and get through the day, The me as I currently am has no confidence, no energy, no oomph, no personality, just a dull homebound pain ridden soul, who despairs each time she pops a pill, grits her teeth and no longer enjoys life.