sigh... so lost.
 

im not sure where to begin or how to word this... so please forgive me if this doesn't make sense.


a few people know how lost and empty i've been feeling lately dealing with my life.... i haven't wanted to stay here on this earth and each day has been a struggle to continue.

TODAY... just about an hour ago... i found out that one of my uncle's committed suicide this morning... shot himself. I know nothing more... only that my life seems so much less important and so much more empty...

abbie:Sob: :Sigh: :thud:

oh ((((Abbie)))) :Sob:

I know your friends here will soon be gathering round you, but I couldnt pass by without giving you a :hug: and letting you know I am praying for your and for the rest of your family too.
:heartthrob:
Cheri

I'm so sorry Abbie. Words are so inadequate at a time like this. Did he leave other family behind? Please remember that many of us are here for you....

Oh dear Abby,
I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. It must feel very difficult for you right now - today and in the days ahead. I will be thinking about you and your family and hoping that you can stay strong. Keep in touch here and keep talking. Know that there's always someone around if you need to reach out.

I'm so sorry Abby. I can't even imagine what you are going through. :hug:

Sorry for your loss A. I know how that feels. :( :hug:

I'm soo very sorry {{{abby}}}
I know you feel lost right now and that there may be nothing left to hold on for,but please think of how you feel right now with your uncle taking his own life.That's how everyone would feel about you leaving as well!!
Thinkin of you..
:hug:
Kell

Thank you everyone... i'm still so very much at a loss for words... I was just told my parents that the police are saying that his death may not be suicide... but a murder. :confused: This news isn't any easier to take... :(


My uncle leaves behind 4 grown children, 6 grandchildren, and 5 great grandchildren.... my aunt (my mom's sister) passed away about 8 years ago from breast cancer. I have many cousins, aunts, and uncles on this side of the family... my mom was the youngest of 12...


Though he was my uncle by marriage.... he was and always will be one of my favorite uncles!!


Thank you again everyone... your kind words and prayers mean the world to me!

abbie

When there are no words Abbie...just try to feel our love. :grouphug:

Abbie,
{{{HUGS}}}} i understand about this uncle being your favorite uncle even though hes an uncle through marriage.... my most favorite aunt in the whole wide world is married to my dads youngest brother. i feel closer to her than i do most of my blood relatives....
I'm sorry this has happened.... You will be in my prayers...
vicky

(((Abbie))) Every loss we suffer adds to the hurt of the ones from before. Unfortunately, we all go through it at some point in our lives. Losing people we love is so hard.

I know how you feel. One of my uncles killed himself as well. Shot himself in the basement as my aunt was upstairs fixing dinner. They found a stash he had hidden in the basement afterwards. A box of papers, all with poems and stories he had written, all about suicide and sad stuff.

It is very hard but you'll get through it. I can see everyone here cares very much.

Keep us updated on the news if you feel up to it. Love and hugs.

I can echo the words written above... lean on the support here... you'll be grateful you did... and so will we...
it helps us all... sad as that seems
:hug:
Addy (not to be confused with Abby, the mispelled version of Abbie aka Abasaki)

[oops, that misspelling was my error. It was 4.20am in my morning. I should have a coffee before I post. ;) ]

abbie, please check in when you are able.
Thinking of you.

is it wrong that i am numb???

i have to block out every little thought of what happened or what may have happened.... the more stressed and upset i get--the more this RSD monster spits out it's angry fire. Like my world wasn't already messed up enough.... not blaming anyone... just trying to figure out a way to cope.


:Sigh: :icon_frown: :icon_cry:
abbie

No, it is not wrong Abbie. You are in shock and it's normal to feel nothing..it's like being in a cocoon...Your mind is protecting itself from the pain of this reality.

And it's never wrong to feel whatever it is you are feeling along this path...anger may take a turn.

Warm hugs...we are here for you. :hug:

abbie, I agree with Alffe. It's shock. It's also like an automatic self-preservation process that sets in.

Yes, and remember to baby yourself as much as possible. Just do whatever makes you feel good. A hot bath, tv show, movie, whatever. Just do those things as much as possible for yourself. You deserve it!

:grouphug:

official police ruling... suicide.
no notes, no known illness nor signs of depression.... his kids and grandkids didn't suspect anything.

parents are back home for now...
funeral is friday...

thank you for listening...
abbie:(

So typical...so sad. The police get to come and it's sooo hard. And based on evidence or lack of evidence....they come to the conclusion that it is a suicide..note or no note..signs or not....I'm so sorry Abbie..it all sound soooooo familiar. :hug:

My condolences ((Abbie))

{{{hugs}}}}

(((Abbie)))
 

Oh Abbie, I'm so very sorry. I'm so very sorry.

I'm thinking of you ((Abbie)) and hope you can feel everyone here caring. :hug:

Thank you Doody... I know everyone here cares...
I am still feeling very numb.. kinda like i just don't care what happened. (Please don't jump on me for that... that's how I feel)

Funeral is tomorrow...

abbie

We wouldn't dream of jumping on you Abbie and I bet you aren't the only one in his family feeling numb. It's really a blessing and will get you through the coming days....there's plenty of time for reality down the road. Please take good care of you....give yourself a hug and rock yourself. :hug:

:hug: hugs sweety.

Abbie

It's not surprising at all - I call it going on "autopilot." It's very common, and it's a good sign you're aware of your own needs at this time. It says nothing of the love you shared with your uncle. It's just nature's way of making you comfortably numb in order to perform on stage (attend the funeral and console others).

Abbie, what Kathy said is so true. Autopilot.

My therapist used that term with me many times when describing what I did after my daughter's father left us when I was extremely ill and then my sister died. I totally went on autopilot, only ... mine lasted for years. Literally, years. I just did what was necessary to take care of me and my daughter. No men. I withdrew, cruised...went on that autopilot. Just a few close friends and family came into MY inner circle.

That's one of the reasons I liked being on Paxil. Made me more on the numb side, and that's what I needed.

I think otherwise, we may just go totally zonkers.

Numb is good. So is sleep and rest and taking good care of yourself. ((Abbie))

Yep, I echo KathyM's and Doody's words!

numb is good - it is your mind taking care of you.
Talk to your doctor, too... reach out.
I know that is easier said than done... been there
xo Addy