Good bye...
 

I have been on this forum and the old Brain Talk and have tried where I could to help people, be supportive and share any ideas that I was either aware of, or that had helped others I know. I have appreciated the friendships, suggestions and support I have received in return here. For that, I am most grateful. That the well being of this forum is being reduced to the level it seems to be becoming, is a real disappointment to me.

I plan to take a long break from this site. Those of you who know me, have my email address and I would welcome hearing from you. For those who don't know me well, Moderator Curious has my outside email address. If I can help you, or just be a sounding board, please do not hesitate to write.

Meanwhile, for those from our old site, you may do well to remember that even our beloved Billye (Silverlady) was once at a point of despair. I hope this posting will not anger or hurt her, as she has enough on her plate. She has seen several unresponsive doctors in my area and has had a terrible, terrible time getting help. She is finally getting the help she needs, but look how long it has taken and what it took to get it-intervention by a member of this forum to get her into the Mayo Clinic. She is one of the most gracious and kind people I know, and I know she would be sensitive to anyone going through similar circumstances.

My wish on leaving this forum, is that those of you who are suffering will find a path to make your pain at least tolerable and give you a new lease on life. For some here, I hope that you might bring yourselves to a place where you are more tolerant of those who are frustrated and suffering... It is a lonely, overwhelming road and the only people who really understand are those on a similar walk in life...

Good luck to all of you. You will not be far from my thoughts...

Cathie

Hello and Good-bye. :(

Surprised and shock
 

Cathie---I've not been reading thoroughly on the site, there's been so much to attend to with my personal health and my friend with the stroke, so I don't know what you mean that the forum has declined.

What is the problem you are having with it? Is it something that can be addressed? You've been a faithful and loyal helper here for a long time, and I'd hate to see you go. Will you share? I feel I've come in the middle of something and don't have the backstory.

sorry to hear that
 

What has this forum come to? Must have missed something too?

Please
 

check your email, Cathie.

I understand needing a break now and then ( I certainly take them myself),
but a permanent leave? So please check your private email!

Yorkiemom,
I am sad to read your post and puzzled by the statement I have quoted.

If something is happening on this forum that has you feeling this way, we need to know about it so that we can take steps to correct it. If you dont feel comfortable posting your concerns, please do PM me.

Taking a break is sometimes very necessary, but if you are being driven away by things that are not right then we do need to know.

whatever your decisions are, please know we wish you only the best

Cheri

:hug: hi sweety.

take a break. things will turn around. take care of yourself. and yeppers...i got you email addy. :D

i want everyone to remember there is an ignore button. it can be better to not even "see" certain members posts. doesn't mean that you can't un-ignore them later.

just like family, support is given in many ways. some the softer type..others tough love.

what everyone needs to remember, is that when you post, you are open to everyone replying. you may not like or agree with that they post. take some or all of the advice...or none at all. you don't have to reply if you don't agree.

Yorkiemom
 

You are our kind ,sweet, gentle and so funny. Please if you need
a break take it but come back. It broke my heart to see your post
last night,but i for one will miss so much. You just may be tired,but
maybe you can think it through just a little more.What i'm trying to say
is Gosh DARN!!! :( :hug: :hug: :hug: Sue

May I ask? What is "BrainTalk"??

((((((Cathie)))))),

http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...bears-mini.gif

I don't know what's up, either :confused:

I do hope you reconsider and just take a break. Everyone needs a break once in awhile.

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb http://chocolate-moose.p5.org.uk/MIN...ding-hands.gif

Wiix:

These are the old threads that many of us used to go and post on. Here's a link to the newer Braintalks. It's usually down but now it's working again.


http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/...ysprune=&f=219

consider
 

I PMed you. Do what you must do for your own mental and physical health, however, don't let any group dynamics interfere with support you derive from this forum, nor from the satisfaction of the incredible contribution you make and have made over the years on both forums.

If you sense some negative energy that you need to take a break from, by all means do so, but, in my very humble opinion, some of the negativity on some threads will pass, just like constipation!:winky:

Please think again Cathie.
 

Cathie

It is with great sorrow that I read your post about leaving us. We have corresponded in the past on the old B/T forum and if my memory serves me right by PM as well.
I would like to say firstly that I really do understand how you feel when you are hurting bad and you turn on to one of these forums for some helpful chat and one or more of these fairly new members, who one assumes are compassionate, posts in the fashion you have observed.

Along with Billye whom you so rightly mention, you are one of our dearest and most understanding members and I am sure I speak for so many when I say “please don’t leave us”. Whilst I don’t agree with Curious about there being an “ignore button” you can I am sure put any unhelpful posting out of your mind. There really are not too many Cathie.

I know you are having lots of health problems and I wish you well with lots less pain and a final plea to stay with us – I always look forward to your posts which are worth a million of these negative “contributions” - you are so needed Cathie.

Tony

Cathie,

I'll admit to not reading all posts. So I also am in the dark.

Whatever happened, I will miss you :icon_sad: and hope to "see" you again.

rose

Cathie,
Take some 'time-out' if you need it. All of us do at one time or another.
But don't say a final farewell, that's too permanent.
Just say you'll be back when you feel you are ready, again.
We'll miss you.
Please be well, and please come back to us when you've been
able to straighten things out.

I don't like to say goodbye to any members...
 

There were many members from the old BT forum that were very active on the community and have not made their way back on either forum, and that leaves a big question mark in my mind as to the reason why they have not returned. Be it they have returned to good health or they are too ill to return... or even worse.

Personally I look forward to getting replies when I post and value the contributions of everyone. There have been times where some of the replies weren't so "warm and fuzzy," as they say, but on the other hand, I was offered up a reality dose that I probably needed. Sometimes due to pain or other reasons one can lack perspective, and I have put down any contrary replies to a little much needed dose of perspective, I was most likely lacking at the time.

So I am willing to accept the good the bad and the ugly as they say, as I realise that a friend is not always going to sanction,agree and support all your ideas all of the time. Sometimes the best thing for us is not the things we like to hear.

Online communities are very much like families, we agree, we disagree, and we also agree to disagree. And lord knows that no family is perfect.

But despite this all, I believe this community has helped and supported more people than it has ever denied. The proof is all the testimonies we read on a daily basis of all the members pulling together to help one member who at times is unable to help themselves.

Miracles happen, and I am more than happy to be a part of it.

The old Brain Talk and this community have undeniably supported more than they have ever denied but the point is the method (when appropriate) of denial.

Our dear Cathie has not only been helpful but truthful as well. It is contributors like her - and there are many here – who help form the backbone of this community even when they too are suffering badly. We can not afford to lose anyone of them, especially when so many of us need all the psychological and practical support on offer.

Tony

Indeed!
 

Well said.

Maelstrom
 

Since I was the individual who became the lightening rod for Yorkiemom to remove herself from this website for the time being, I think it is only fitting that those who felt such a strong need to berate me for inactivity, not presenting a positive attitude, or demonstrating a degree of thankfulness for all the help that has been offered, did not truly read Yorkiemom's plea for civility. Yes, I became angry when I felt that I was being disingenuous about why I was even on this site. Confused...yes...paralyzed with overwhelming causes of my very very painful feet...yes. But, I was never NOT grateful for the comfort that Braintalk and this site intially provided. I have had great information given to me by Brian, Bob and Yorkiemom. There are a couple people on this site (and you know who you are) that made it personal and it hurt. I ending up defending myself, and with my pain, it truly exacerbated it do to the stress. Yorkiemom was so comforting and soothing. I know everyone has a different style in communicating and giving feedback. However, I think one has to, at least, if you are trying to be strong and tell a person that it's time to take an action step and don't always be doom and gloom...it can be presented in a healthier way than taking it outside the scope of people suffering with chronic pain and not always doing the "rational" thing. I also will miss Yorkiemom, we had some very good conversations. It has been suggested to me that I attempt to find some comfortable shoes that will be appropriate for my regular appearance in court. I want to thank Brian for that website. Bob also was supportive in encouraging me to stay the course on the neurontin for 6 to 8 weeks. Whether my pain is caused by the myriad of things I have stated in the past, I need to develop a plan that suits my needs. I'm done doctor shopping and having injections in my back. My feet are numb...that won't go away. The nerves are gone. I had to adjust. I may look into counseling to see if I can find ways to deal with stress in a better way. Yoga, meditation...whatever.
In the future, if I decide to post to NeuroTalk, I am going to be very sensitive to what I say and how I say it. It only took three or four posts from certain individuals that really kicked me to the corner. I'm sorry I offended you in such a manner.
By the way, if people are going to respond...my name is Jack.

Hi. I have been away from the site a little and so a little lost so I apologise if confused. I do know I have found a lot of support and to feel less alone through this board and other boards. Yorkiemom is one of my biggest support and has really helped to make me feel less alone and to lift my spirits. I do feel for her or anyone that they have to do what is best for them as there health mental and physical is number 1. I know from previous boards sometimes people are harsh and sometimes I feel its because it triggers issues within them that they don't want to face. I think all of us in pain can at times feel short with others but have to remind ourselves not to take issues of our own out on others. Also that everyone has different needs and just because one has a different view doesn't mean its stupid or wrong always. On that note when asking for support you may get a view that is not what your looking for and I know as a sensitive person I can take things to heart but have to remind myself that its just 1 person view.I do feel that there are nicer ways people can respond sometime and for me even a small thought can really lift my spirit.
Jack as I said I'm clueless and pretty new but I do feel your right that everyone has different views and what will work for them. I think for myself I take the knowledge and what others have been through and process it but focus on what I need to do to be healthy.I too am trying to find a plan though not done with the doc/tests so I can relate.I hope you hold to hope. That is what I try to do and use my real support along with some great supports I met here or other boards. Ok I hope I wasn't too off base. I hate tension and hope all do what is best for them but to remember were all in similar boats and whether having that issue or thought at that moment I'm sure its crossed ones mind

Dear Jack,

There is much that you and others have posted that I did not read and am not aware of. I must admit that there was a time long ago when I felt wary of you.

However, I just read your post this morning on this thread, and, I think it is beautiful. It feels we are getting more of an opportunity to know who you are :Wave-Hello: , and I would like to sit in a coffee shop and get acquainted.

rose

Rose
 

Thank you for those kind remarks. And, I do remember you from Braintalk and your knowledge of B12 and I did take that in.

I have already removed a recent thread that was not in keeping with the guidelines, and have now had to delete and edit some posts here too.

The fact that discord on this board has already made Yorkiemom not want to post is bad enough. Please let's not have more insensitive words causing more upset. I am not singling anyone out, but appealing to all.

This is a great forum with very supportive and informative members.
It would be nice to see things settle down again

thanks :)

i am removing this post in the interests of peace on the board

I have been reading this thread--
 

--but had not posted in it until now.

I admit, I was a bit confused as to exactly what issues were being debated.

Near as I can determine--and correct me if I'm wrong--jakatak had orginally posted some rather despairing updates on his condition; this was responded to in various ways, some of which fell more into the "tough love" than "sympathetic commiseration" category. This then blew up further, and Yorkiemom thought it had gone over the line sufficiently that she'd like to take at least a time out from the board.

Now, I can't speak for everybody else's feelings and interpretations of posts, but I don't think anyone here was so egregiously uncaring or insulting as to be beyond the bounds of acceptable posting.

We all have differing perspectives, and because we will express them, we inevitably will come into conflict. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Out of the dance of thesis and antithesis often comes synthesis. A major function of these boards is to present alternative viewpoints, and to have them vetted by others.

Inevitably, some will think that these viewpoints are not being expressed is as optimal a fashion as they would prefer. That's within acceptable bounds as well, I think. I would hate to have people stop posting for such reasons, though.

So, whatever feelings have been compromised, I still personally would rather have those people here discussing their compromised feelings rather than just lurking silently, or leaving entirely. I realize they may be able to glean what they need from just reading--here or at other places--but I still think there is something valuable in the feedback one gets from other posters, even if it's not always one likes or finds useful (or even comforting).

Just my take on this. But it's in a selfish interest--I think the board is better with the aforementioned people than without them. (And I suspect that just about everybody here would have a similar view.)

Very Good
 

That was incredibly insightful and a post that everyone should read and take to heart. I regret my original post. I regret allowing myself to put into words what was a very upsetting and frustrating moment in my ongoing battle with incredibly painful feet. As a probation officer, I have had clients who have committed suicide, and they did not call out for help. They truly wanted their pain to end. I know that I was looking for a solution to a problem that in all likelihood is not going to magically go away.