Anyone else home all day because you can't drive
 

Good morning all,

I am home all day by myself because I can't drive. Everyone I know works.

I still have a hard time out with all the movement and sounds so I am selective and use glasses and ear plugs when I go out.

Reading books and tv are out for me. We are still getting organized from moving so my jewelry stuff isn't out. I don't cook alone. I pick stuff up around the house 10 min at a time but who wants to clean everyday all day. I sit on the patio, pace, try games to help my motor skills. I just started that. have to find ones that aren't so busy and things moving.

I have the animals, but they are lazy and sleep all day. In our other house my husband put up a 96" screen and projector. He ran the wires for sound system. We loved watching movies and had an amazing family room. We don't have the screen and projector here. The tvs are hardly on. Music either. Upstairs was my space. No tv. My music on all the time.

Not sure what I'm going to do with myself this summer. Some days are strikingly lonely.

If I lived by the water I'd sit on the edge and soak my feet all day long.

I miss my work and the interactions all day long.

I have become old in my 40s. I sit on the couch and watch EVERYTHING outside. I do take short walks but I'm cautious because my vertigo can be unpredictable. I don't have a back up besides calling 911 if things go wrong.

Anyone else in my spot. What do you do all day til your family gets home

I'm currently stuck at home all day. I'm so bored, I feel useless, I feel like less of a man. I sit/lay around. Small walks in my yard. But I'm in the same position as you.

I'm in the same position now. stuck at home all the time. :(

I can still drive, but no freeways or any busy roads. Only quiet streets :(. No TV, I can use a computer for a very limited time. I have a cat, but she is lazy and sleeps all day.

I have no friends or much of a family here. Absolutely no back up in case of any emergency. And I have 2 kids (11 and 9) I have to take care of. I feel very lonely and miserable. And I miss my old self badly.

I have no idea how this happened. Three years ago I was very active and happy mother of 2 wonderful kids and a happy wife. I used to own a small business. I used to take zumba classes three times a week. I was very involved with my kids' school pta (VP and then a president) and contributed a lot to their school.

Now I'm just a homemaker with very limited abilities. :( I try to convince myself that life goes on, but it's really difficult considering the situation.

I will pray for every one of us every day. We will recover! :grouphug:

Up until very recently I wasn't driving at all and now I'm only driving at most 10-15 miles, just enough to get me to work and my parent's house and my physical therapist. But my parents are on vacation right now and I don't really have any friends in the area anymore so I've just come to work for a few hours, gone to PT and gone home. To switch things up a little I might run to the store but I have to make it really quick because I can't stand the noise. I would love to get out on my bike but I don't trust my balance and I haven't really done anything physical like that yet so I don't know how it will affect me. Same with going to the driving range. I'm depressed right now. Yesterday and Tuesday weren't great days. I keep finding new things I have problems with. Daydreaming or using my imagination, cutting my fingernails (that one's new today), still having trouble speaking properly sometimes. I'm not sure the PT is actually helping and that's a $55 copay every time. My cats don't talk back. I'm alone too much. I want to start a drawing class for the summer but I'm afraid I won't be able to translate something I think of (if I can think of anything at all) from my brain to the paper. I want to have a beer but I know that's out. Sigh. This whole thing is just depressing.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Sometimes it's comforting to know we are not alone even if I never meet any of you it makes a difference.

DeWitt, in my opinion you should rest as much as your brain asks for. Using my phone is the easiest for my brain now but before even that was hard. Find a hobby that doesn't ignite your symptoms. Be good to yourself and give yourself a break on the guilt. I can imagine anyone wanting this life. It happens. If it was your wife would you still love her and be there? It's time to take care of you!

Marina- I hear you. I do 80% or more less daily since my injury. I'm working on accepting this new me and making a new life. It's hard but I take it one day at a time. Some days are easier than others.

Peace and wellness,

Jace

Socks,

I get the store thing and beer and balance.

You are early in. Are u doing vestibular therapy. My V therapy leveled off at month 5. I stopped progressing at that point but it did help.

$55 is a huge copay. Wow. I thought $40 was bad.

I thought about a drawing class too. No bus, or transportation so that's as far as I got. I think I will look up tutorials on my ipad.

I started looking at other forums on here too. Interesting. I can't read too much or my head hits that brick wall and demands sleep. But pictures I can look at for a nice while.

Jace

Been there, done that, it sucked - but don't lose heart.

I am - finally - allowed to drive a little. If I can make it back, there is hope for pretty much everyone.

After my MVA, the neurologist declared that I'd NEVER drive, again. We were even going to sell our second vehicle. Thankfully, my PT encouraged me not to give up.

The PT worked really hard on improving my physical skills, while the occupational therapist suggested modifications to the car (like a captain's arm rest), the cognitive therapist worked on my concentration and my GP used medication to get my seizures under control. I even worked with a driving instructor to help get over my MVA-related PTSD.

I can't drive in heavy traffic, or for long distances, but I am so thankful for what I can do. Don't give up, friends.

I do drive, but I don't if I don't have to.

What do I do all day?

I spend a lot of time on my back patio, watching the birds and drinking coffee.

I don't usually feel like doing much else.

Probably not much of a help. Sorry.

Birds and coffee... sound a lot like my day.

Hockey,

It must be nice to have some independence back. Wow, that's great.

Do you have damage to your vestibular nerves? The nerve that controls my vision is damaged. I was just told I wouldn't drive again. It would be great to hear of someone's vision improving enough to drive! Even if I could only drive in my town I'd be thrilled.


We are in the process of selling our second car. It's a sedan and I can't stomach my family being in it. I was in an SUV when the accident happened. If I was in the car it would have been much worse. When the rest of North America drives sedans then we can be in a sedan. Until then, I just can't.

Jace

Hi mynewreality,

I did that several times today. Substitute coffee with turkey and tomato sandwich. I just got a picture book on North American birds. Problem for me is I can't track them to see exactly what they are.

So...it goes. Hawk. Seagull. Geese. Crane. Song Bird. Fast bird. High in the sky bird. Sadly sometimes on my walks, dead bird, Oh! It's a brown finch!

I hope you have a good view on your patio. You could get really wild and drink flavored tea. Be careful with that. :)

Peace and wellness,

Jace

Can you guys do jigsaw puzzles? I've always enjoyed putting them together but I don't know if they're too much stimulation now. I haven't tried. Or word puzzles (word searches, crossword puzzles, etc.) I'm not a crafty person but knitting/crocheting? I'll try to think of other things we can do.

I've been pretty lucky on the vision front. I do, however, know of someone who overcame convergence issues (had to use a prism), etc... to regain her driver's license.

I owe my life to a high quality SUV, as well. Even the cops told my husband, I would have been killed in a car.

Hi All. I can't Do word searches and things like that with my vision. I m not sure if I'll like knitting or crocheting but I'm open to it. I am open to any ideas

I was on here so much earlier I had to nap. But it was nice to have conversations today.

I loved my pilot. It did what I needed it to do that day. I was so excited the day I bought it. We took it to the mountains two months later and then to Arkansas in the summer and many more vacations. Now we have another one but it's not the same.

Jace

Have you tried gardening? A little flower bed might be nice. Just watch being outside in the heat.

There's really no short answer here so here it is.

We sold our house and moved to my moms. We were going to be building and adding an inlaw suit for my mom and while living at her house getting it ready to go on the market. We were going to move to the town I taught in.

Two weeks after we moved in my moms our daughter had a scheduled spinal surgery. She had broken her back they think in gymnastics a few years earlier. Where she broke it was not a painful break but after time the bones wore away and her spine at the L5-S1 were not connected with bone. We were unaware of the break until all her sports brought out the pain.

We we waiting for her to heal enough that she could go to school full time to start building the house but 3 months after her surgery her and I were in the accident.

That put off building. I still had our original plan in my head even though I wasn't working and in bad shape. I couldn't see how I was. Plus our daughter was still healing from major surgery and the accident.

I think I was the last one to get it that our life plans had to change. We could no longer have the same lifestyle on one salary and save for college and retirement. My hubby decided to buy a new townhouse with property management taking care of everything outside. They are putting a pool in now and building a club house. There are lakes and a rough walking path, not paved.

Our past house we built was 1/3 of an acre and 2300 sq ft with large pool. Way too much to do again. This new house is 1450 sq ft. When he gets home he has lots of time for us instead of yard work and repairs.

I've never liked gardening or dirt. I did well at the old house but it was a lot of work. Now we have a small front yard with a bed and a small patch of grass in the back with a patio.

For the first time I think I am going to do a few plants and I want to. I want to keep them alive. I think a pot in the back and I will plant daffodils in the front. I used to have a gorgeous trumpet vine growing on my fence. I never had to do anything to it because the downspout ran to it. The hummingbirds were always there and by the honeysuckle. The peonies were maintenance free and the rest were bushes and maaintence free stuff.

I was the painter and project person. Restructure a room? Sure take this wall down add this or that. I loved changing things to make our home what we wanted. I grew up with a father that taught me all about tools,building, plumbing, all of it. If I'd hadn't done it before I would learn it online and do it. I miss doing those things. I can't cut in trim or around doors n windows with paint anymore. My hands aren't steady like before the accident. I tried to use a grinder months ago and got my thumb good. I was banned from power tools.

Now I come up with the projects and my hubby does them. He already took down a wall between two rooms and many other projects in our new home.

I really lost my focus here. ? Thanks for your patience. Well I think I will try things I didn't do before.

Exhausted in my brain,

Jace

I find having something to look forward to helps.

During the winter I go across the street twice a week to watch t.v. with an elderly couple. I really enjoy it.

My brother invited me to Bermuda for 2 weeks and I really enjoyed it.

I get some satisfaction from baking.

The worst part is the isolation, I am sitting home tonight, my headache is particularly bad and all I can really do is go to bed.

My daughter may take me camping this summer. I really hate the lack of independence. I can't drive very far, I can't lift anything heavy, so I have to depend on others if I want to go somewhere.

I must admit one of my new goals is to create some type of social life for me. Before the accident I was thinking about dating, but now I am so limited I can't image dating. No movies, no crowded places, no loud places, can't walk too far but I can still talk.....

It is a huge adjustment and not easy, but we are not alone, there are a lot of us making the same adjustment.

I too sit around the house all day. It has been over a year now, and I have been able to drive off and on. I fell again a few months ago and hit my head again, thus a back slide and lost permission to drive again. I have been on good days anyhow. Luckily I live in a small old city with nearly all one way streets to and from every where I let my self drive to. If it is on the highway I let my hubby drive. I can not ride well in the car or I am sick. Head movements, walking light and noise still make my head aches worse and the vertigo too.

I listen to a lot of audio books and have recently found that knitting on the round looms I can do. It is not fine detailed work that stresses my brain much and though my eyes get tired pretty quick it is easy to put down and continue later. Hats are quick you can make a stocking cap in about two hours or less. I made a blanket for grand baby due any day now it took me about 2 weeks.

I know how you feel, I feel like I have had no fun in so very long but anything I can think of to do that is fun there are a bunch of reasons I cant or am afraid of doing it. Last summer I got my fishing license so we could go fishing but that was hard too. We went at night twice once during the day turned out to be a bad idea and did not go again.

So Audio books, sitting on the porch with the dogs and round loom knitting...
otherwise PT and house work.

I can Relate
 

I can drive but I do not often. I have a sedan it hurts my neck, head, and lower back to drive and I get anxious. I cannot do much these day's except I like to watch the birds on back porch. My family had got me a bird house that all the little finches are loving! And a bird bath that I will sit and watch all the birds stop by for a drink. I have yet to see a bird take a bath. I was amazed the other day, I had seen 2 Doves:D fly up to a line.

I watch for spiritual awakenings like different kinds of birds, butterflies etc to give me hope and know that the Higher Power is with me. I have really shifted to spirituality for survival. I am now free of antidepressants since winter and I am trying to manage my depression on my own. I became resistant to antidepressants which I am feeling more a sense of who I have became in result of this devastation.

I basically look to nature to ground me and for peace.

But I gotta go now headache is starting. Take care:grouphug:

Norma,

I agree about having things to look forward to. I have learned to put events in my iPhone using the calendar. Now I see what's coming up and it helps me keep track of days.

We just had egg roll day yesterday. My family comes over and we make tons of pork and shrimp egg rolls. This year my husband finally bought a stand up freezer. We've talked about it for years. I was so excited for this year's egg roll day. Taxing, but I had good fun and memories.

How much snow do you have to get through to go to your neighbors in the winter? What was Bermuda like? Blue waters? I always wanted to go to Figi, or Cook Islands. I'm still hoping someday. I want to just sit in that beautiful water all day and if I heal snorkel!

We used to camp very year before my injury. Haven't since. The heat makes my headaches worse so I'm a little nervous cause we tent camp. I love the outdoors.

The Smokey's and Michigan have been two of our favorite playgrounds. Lots of hiking, mountain climbing, and blue waters with no salt. We love the history of both lands and the diverse cultures.

My neuropsych wants me working on my social relationships. Being a teacher, and mom, and wife, we've always been very social out and about. After my headaches easing up I felt the loneliness of not having those same interactions daily.

So my first step is to work on my relationships here. I enjoy interacting with everyone. I can't wait til we get our stickie for social chat and games. I don't always want our conversations to be so heavy.

I have my ipad key board nearly memorize with mscle memory so typing isn't so visual and the screen is smaller which helps and auto correct helps too.

If you are bored send me a note. I check several times a day since I'm home alone all day.

Nice to meet you.

Jace

Hi Laura and MiaVita,

Sorry you hit your head. I have trouble in the car just like you. Also in crowded places. I wear ear plugs and sunglasses and used to hold onto my husbands arm.

Finally I decided to get a walking stick. It helps me balance and if it's bad My hubby grabs me. I like the independence of the walking stick. Target sells two I. A pack. When go on walks I'm going to try to use both to get my arms going. Just a normal pace, but it should help my health.

The animal watching helped me greatly from month 6 on. I fed the squirrels and fattened them up for winter. I have many birds where I live now, no squirrels so I am learning about them..very relaxing.

Spirituality comes to us in many ways. The animals and nature are such a beautiful, pure path. Nature is a foundation to me. It has always played a big role in my life but even larger now.

I'm going to get a finch feeder. We have purple and yellow finches her. I think I will add a bird bath to and a hummingbird feeder. I saw a crane yesterday. We have lots of geese and ducks. I haven't seen any fox, deer, or raccoons yet. Hoping to.

I so wish I could listen to audio books. I was a voracious reader prior to injury. Miss the stories immensely. Every now and then I will watch an animal documentary if it's a quiet day and I'm alone. Sometimes with sound for a bit.

One of my favorite voices is Peter Thomas. He narrates Forensic Files. I used to fall asleep to his voice. I wish he did other things besides the dark stories.

So glad to chat with you both!

:hug:

Jace

Oh my, you have so much on your plate. :hug:

Hockey, are you still sick? Your mood says sick?

How much snow do you get where you live? We had a lot this year nut we are not in the typical weather pattern that comes down from Canada and Wisconsin & Minnesota, then through Illinois across Lake Michigan northern Indiana and into Michigan. We just miss it.

Jace

Yes, I tipped my head too far back (long story)and my PCS symptoms went nuts. If past experience holds, it could be up to 6 weeks until I'm back to my "normal."

In the winter, we get lots and lots of storms. It makes travel difficult and planning impossible. Nature can be one mean momma. :D

Sorry to hear about your tipping.

I would want a snow crawling machine with a front loader. I would love to play with heavy machinery.

Sometimes I really wish I could give all of you a big hug.
I've also become an avid bird watcher since PCS, it's so relaxing :)

It's interesting how many TBI folks on the Forum have taken up bird watching. I find it inspiring to see the little chickadees and finches who manage to survive our brutal winters. Sometimes the wind has my feeders parallel to the ground - and they're still hanging on.

I agree Hockey! I actually told my husband about how many others on here seem to enjoy bird watching, because he picks at me about becoming an old lady before my time when he comes home to me sitting on the porch with binoculars, haha.

Redoslingberg,

Go ahead...hug me. Let's have a group hug :grouphug:

:) I really like the bird watching but when they aren't flying. I am going to get a finch feeder and hummingbird feeder. And a bird bath. I find it soothing. We have so many song birds. I can't see them but I can hear them.

Nice to meet you,

Jace

To you birders out there... don't forget the nice bird cams that are on the net now.

I am watching this one:
http://cams.allaboutbirds.org/channe...-tailed_Hawks/
It has been extremely interesting.
Today is a storm and Big Red is protecting her chicks.

I also hang a nesting dispenser (it is really a corn cob feeder which we use in the winter), with real cotton (they won't take polyester filler) and many birds come to it in the spring.
I have many photos now of them..some in my profile here and the one currently in my signature. When you put up a finch feeder, you will attract them and they may appreciate some nesting materials to help them with their nests.
This nesting dispenser is right out my window when I am online, so I watch it all day long..;)

MrsD,

When I put out the finch feeder do I just hang the nesting thing next to it? Can I use cotton balls?

Jace

I couldn't drive at all for about a year. Then in the second year post-accident, I drove very little.

My car was totaled in the accident that caused the concussion, so I had to buy a new car. I bought a LARGE SUV. :D

I still don't drive that much, but I'm able to do more while I'm at home, so I don't get as bored as I did during that first year. That was brutal.

I still have a penchant to "overdo" it, and when I do I render myself unable to do much and I languish until my body/brain have rested and recovered enough to be able to do something again. (This includes thinking unfortunately).

I have a rich inner life, so if I'm able to think I can mostly entertain myself... but if my thinking becomes arduous or hindered because I'm overly fatigued then I get VERY bored.

And it's almost been 4 years since the accident I was in!

I was able to drive for about 30 min on Saturday and Sunday, both ways, by myself! For the first time since the accident. :) I used to take long road trips by myself before the accident; I would LOVE to be able to do that again someday...

The HRT I'm receiving is helping me to be able to function more and more as time continues.

I feel for you guys stuck at home all day long, I know how awful it can be.

The following are some activities I've used to keep myself occupied, but everyone's tolerance will vary:

-coloring (I discovered that there are adult coloring books that are fun)

-jigsaw puzzles

-sewing (simple kits available online)

-iPad (slow-paced and relaxing games, books, magazines, internet, email)

-Texting Friends

-reading

-crosswords

-word search

-cognitive therapy books (designed for tbi survivors)

-meditation

-chair exercise

First put up the feeder and see if you get them. They will have to learn to find your new feeder.

100% cotton balls are ok... I fluff them up some. But what I have been using now, are the stuffing from my supplements. Not all vitamins come with cotton stuffing anymore, but many do.

Birds do strange things... up north we had a wind sock made of mylar with mylar strings at the end to dangle and catch the light. We used to find those woven into nests years later!
People upNorth use them on docks to scare away gulls from sitting on the docks and messing them up. So it was interesting to see these broken off strings end up in nests. Obviously those birds liked the "glitter" effects! They were about 3/16inch wide.

The finches don't lay their eggs until later in the season.
http://www.birdfeeders.com/advice/bi...dfinch/nesting
http://www.wild-bird-watching.com/Am....hJ7Iio7U.dpbs

We've never had much success with Niger seed. We give shelled sunflower bits, that we buy in small bags. I have my nesting dispenser in the backyard, and the feeder in the front of the house in the kitchen window. The nesting dispenser is in a mock orange bush hanging from a stout sturdy branch. The leaves from above make the birds feel protected from predatory birds etc.

The first year I put the cotton out it was for the hummingbirds. But it didn't get taken. Last year the finches showed up...and this spring I have both finches and chickadees. I still haven't seen a hummer take the cotton! :confused: So the finches didn't come right away. You can also stuff cotton in the notches of small bushes. That way the birds get used to the idea. We used to do this with our cat hair (from brushing), and it was always taken, but we never saw who took it.

Am back to driving now only if I really have to, had an accident early last year and couldn't drive for a long time.

I am so scared to drive now, I have an SUV and am scared enough but want to freak out if I'm riding in a car with someone, constantly saying slow down, don't get too close to that car in front and my heart races if a car gets too close behind.

I hope this gets better, I am so frozen in the car I can hardly move my neck for fear of getting hurt again.

That's interesting about the bird watching, there's a little bird that sits in one of the trees at the front of the house and he sings, so I mimic him and he sings back :) my husband laughs and thinks I'm nuts but I find it so cute :) also watch the squirrels.

It's pretty normal to experience PTSD after an MVA. I worked with a psychologist and even did a few sessions with a driving instructor to try and rebuild my confidence.

The instructor assured me that I was actually a very good driver. Ironically, that sort of added to my anxiety. You see, my MVA was caused by a grossly reckless motorist.. The fact that there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent it has always bothered me. It just taught me that, no matter how careful I am, I am still at the mercy of all the idiots on the road.

Hockey and Sitke,

You both struck such a cord in me about driving, PTSD, the accident and being a passenger.

Wow. My accident was on a highway and a man high on drugs cut across the highway. I'm so bother and tormented that there was nothing I could do to change the outcome. Rationally I know xyz, but I still struggle.

I can't drive because of my vision. My perception is off too. When I look it looks like cars are coming at us but they aren't. I am a backseat panic driver.

I look forward to all of our brains being able to move past these issues. That day will be a huge step forward.

Jace :grouphug:

Okay Ladies,

If watching wildlife makes me old I am all for it! Neuropsych said my brain is now like an old person in some ways. That's okay.

I love watching the birds and squirrels. I'm putting cotton ball (stretched out) in my bushes tomorrow for my little friends. Here's a pic I found in a forum of aww pictures.Attachment 8278

I uploaded some of my jewelry to the Creative Corner thread. I follow picture tutorials to make all different kinds. I'm hoping to learn to quilt soon. A new friend is willing to teach me.

Has anyone ever listened to the old mystery radio shows that were on before TV? My 7th grade teacher used to play them for us and they were great. That might be a good source of entertainment for some. I'm sure they can be found online.

Keep those ideas coming everyone.

Jace :)

When we had the accident, we had three cats, one very old, two degus, and I guess still a hamster or two. That was four and a half years ago.

Since then, all hamsters and the old cat have passed on.

But now we have the two cats, two degus, two guinea pigs, one dog, four parrotlets, fourteen parakeets, five different species of finches totaling 22 birds.

I watch birds and furry things all day. Talk to birds and furry things all day. Set up birds for breeding, occasionally, or I'd have hundreds of them by now. Rearrange cages and make new toys and things.

Yes, I am now a crazy bird lady. But it's much better than being just plain crazy. And they are better than using the TV for company all day.

Oh, btw, I would suggest avoiding anything parrot-like, including parakeets, especially in large numbers like I have. The noise can be quite a lot to take, at times. Be careful of canaries, also, some are quite loud and shrill. Finches vary in loudness and sound, but some are soft and quite pleasant.

Cats are no good as daytime companions because they just sleep all day. Hamsters and many of the rodents are the same. You gotta find a pet that's awake and active all day. Personally, I would recommend the finches or other small birds, but I'm a crazy bird lady now.

:I-Agree::highfive:

We just had two long days of heavy rain. Just before it started a female Goldfinch came to my nesting dispenser and just sat there for a while. The bush has leafed up quite a bit, and I guess she was resting and feeling safe.

So I was able to get a nice portrait of her, thru the window. Sometimes working thru that window is not good, but this one is nice. (I have many photos I have to delete).