Horrendous time...
 

Hiya,

Sorry I have been away for a bit. I have been having a horrific time with the RSD at the moment and that has culminated with today's (Mondays) nightmare of a day.

My pain levels have been really up lately, and I have also lost more mobility and am now hoist dependent for transfers (apart from the rugby guys:( , who just pick me up like a baby). I rang my GP 10 days ago in hysterics of pain and he agreed to increase my ketamine to 25mg 4 times a day (as well as my other stuff).

However, over the last day or two I have become far floppier and paralysis has kicked in. (hahaha, unfortunatly only the bad bits not the good bits - so I can still feel EVIL pain). I now can't feel anything but pain from my feet up to my chest and can't move from chest down. I am breathless and have pain on breathing.

Basically, it now turns the ketamine shouldn't have been increased. This happened 10 days ago and because of the half life I apparently now have an almost toxic dose of ketamine in my blood and the only reason I am alive is because I have RSD. Bizzare hey? (as it's a general anesthetic at high long term doses, especially when mixed with other things - but because of the pain...). The drs have been trying to push me into hospital, but I'm a stubborn sod and refuse to go in - though I have been told if I deterioate any more I will be straight in there.

It took 5 hours this morning to get any movement at all in my body, and that was after several hours of passive movements from Becks (my carer) as I couldn't even control my wheelchair, use my environmental controls or anything and even then the movement was just enough to control my wheelchair. And, I have gone totally floppy. Even in full tilt in my wheelchair my head is falling off the headrest and doing exorcist movements if bumped at all...(difficult if you live in Bath!)

Then in the evening...I was in the kitchen with some of my friends and nobody had bothered to strap me into my wheelchair properly (as I was in a high angle of tilt and thus leaning backwards about 30 degrees). I slipped to the side trying to move closer to one of my friends, Nick, and fell sideways out of my wheelchair straight onto my head on the floor. I then don't remember what happened, but apparently ended up in a form of floppy headstand and forward roll ending up smacking into a cupboard. It hurt SO much. I just didn't know what to do!!! Ended up having to get my carer to come and hoist me off the floor whilst I had hysterics. We decided I really should give up on today and just get into bed and I went into the bathroom (with my carer outside the door). And. Fell off the toilet and managed to get both my arms caught so I couldn't move an inch as I was trapped between support bars, wheelchair and door. My carer ended up having to break into the bathroom, and as soon as she moved the wheelchair I passed out on the floor. So had to be rescued (again) by my carer and friends.

I'm scared I will end up in hospital. I know if I tell my doctor that I fell and landed on my head and damaged my neck again then I will be straight in hospital but I just can't handle it. Life is painful enough without being in hospital (and I have an exam on Thursday). I also fear that the paralysis is spreading and I am having more problems breathing (though this may be due to increased pain).

It hurts so much - I have so much else to deal with at the moment - I just can't handle this much pain etc with all the other symptoms and just generally with exams etc. AND, I refuse to ask for special consideration with my exam (eg that pain/ falls etc on top of having RSD are destroying my chances of a first this year) because I don't want to take "advantage" of being ill.

Ok. update - Tues morning. Well, I have managed to be out of hospital, breathing is still partially compromised, mega mega pain, totally floppy, fell headfirst off the toilet again - looks like will have to accept using sling in the toilet as well which I am VERY anti. Having to be in bed because I just can't sit up and have had to have my cot bars bolstered because my fitting spasms have kicked in. Oh, and my left side has gone really really bad. My neck is so so painful and I....

I'm just so fed up with all of this. It just feels so unfair - and I know that there is absoloutly nothing I can do and nothing the drs can do to help. The only thing I can do to help is either a) reduce the ketamine dose - but, it's the only pain killer that helps or b) accept that I will not even be able to be in the toilet on my own. Life sucks, I just am so fed up and don't know what to do. It's bad enough being at uni - I love it - but the jealousy of all these people who are pain free, who can walk, who can be themselves and don't have to rely on others for the stupidest things - just is so hard to deal with.

Sorry for the moan I'm just so fed up :(

Love ya

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey there,

I've just now, right this minute, read your post...and I'm on my way out the door, dammit...just wanted to get right back to you and say :hug: :hug: :hug: HOLD ON !! Yes, jealousy, yes, yes, yes. Completely understand. Have you read the spoons piece? Right now I'd give you all my spoons and just stay in bed for 2 days myself....o god, where is that magic wand???
I'll get back properly later...
lotsa luuuurve xxxx

frogga,
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I could just put my arms around you and let you have a good cry. But as I can't, I'll do the best to send good thought and hugs to you. You are going thru so much, and you are still hanging in there, being an inspiration to us all. When I get feeling down about having rsd, I just read your threads, and then I kick myself out of bed. If you can get this far, I can get out of bed. Please take care of yourself. and try not to fall anymore.
Hugs
Mary
:grouphug:

i'm so sorry, too.

i think the most frustrating thing about RSD isn't pain. don't get me wrong, because i KNOW the pain is horrendous and does terrible things to your body and mind. BUT! when i look at what you said about having too many things to do (like your test) - i think THAT is what is frustrating. not being able to do the things you want/need to do. I mean some days it's hard to even walk to the toilet, let alone get kids ready for school, fix lunch, do laundry, clean house... there are so many things that can't be done.

it's a hell of a life, but you are strong, frogga! it sounds so cliche to say "hang in there" but sometimes that is the ONLY thing you can do.

i will be praying for you extra hard today!

ang
:hug:

Frogga...
Lots of prayers going your way.....
Jeanne

Hey Frogga...you moan all you want. You've earned that right. And, as far as feeling that you would be taken advantage of your illness if you asked for special consideration....please put that out of your mind...you do want you need to do to survive. As always, I'm in your corner and hoping things will calm down for you quickly. You will be in my thoughts...jeannie

Hey Beautiful,

I was wondering how you are making out. I was hoping you were on Holiday laying on the beach, on some tropical island.:wink:

Much Love, Roz :hug:

Dear Miss F. -

The very fact that you can write such a pithy post whilst on 100 mgs. of ketamine/day is incredible. RSD pain or no, most folks would be so far down the K-hole as not to be seen for a while, but you my dear not only post but manage to stay at least somewhat focussed on your exams on Thursday!!!

You are a remarkable, amazing woman. Something I'm sure that has not gone un-noticed within your community.

Oh yeah . . . break a leg.

much love,
Mike

Frogga
 

You are in my prayers! I hope you have a better day!!!

Frogga -I hope a much better time for you today and forever, you are one amazing young lady!:grouphug:

Hey Mate,

You are so brilliant. I believe you will not go up the mountain in your examines you will go right thru the mountain. :) Love, Roz xxx

Hi Frogga.
I Hope That You Feel Better Soon. We All Know How Those Bad Days Are. Hang In There.

Sue K.

Thanks everyone so much - you are all awesome! It is great being able to share this with people who understand - I mean, it is really hard to try and explain it to my friends - they have been wonderful but at the same time they really don't understand what it's like!!!

Well. I'm pretty scared, they now think it's an RSD deterioation again which is not good - I'm not sure whether I can handle more of this - especially long term!!! I can't feel anything from my chest down (apart from pain) and have no independent movement from my chest down. It's really difficult to cope with because it feels like my life has been limited down even further. I can't even stay in the bathroom on my own and it's stupid - but it feels such a huge deal. And losing all the other stuff, it was only small stuff like being able to change my position on my own in my wheelchair, or being able to reach forward for something or sideways for something instead of being tied flat into the wheelchair.

It does show me how grateful I should be to my friends - they have all pitched in and are learning the new ways of log rolling, head tying, hoist using and harness adjustments. (I don't have a harness on my wheelchair at the moment, but every time I hit a bump - even in tilt and recline - I go flying out of my wheelchair and my head does the whole exorcist thing and my body bounces around and out of it - so my carer and some of the boys have improvised one which is helping. Also found a good use for my bandannas for tying my head to the head rest! ).

I got dropped twice more :( we wanted to see if my legs were doing better, so Ben picked me up and I went straight on the floor. So more bruises. Just this time he dropped me under the bed and under my wheelchair. Ooops. Ended up with most of the boys in my bedroom trying to log roll me without breaking my neck - but I suppose it did get my bedroom tidied for me (hahaha! it had all my work on the floor and because they had to get the hoist in they had to pick it up).

The exam is slightly stressful. I am not quite sure what is going to happen because I'm not sure that I will be able to sit up for the 2 hours it is going to take. I just keep comforting myself by thinking that even if I fail this completly I still will have a 2:1. Just, I would like to do well in it just to prove I can.

I'm just so frustrated - I have fought so hard this year to be normal - and to finish (I have an exam tomorrow and then term is over!) and suddenly it all goes totally pear shaped.

Thankyou all so much for your support - it means so much to me to know I am not the only person going through this. I guess i'm getting resigned to accepting whatever the RSD throws at me and trying to fight it, live with it and get my quality of life back.

However, a major achievment today was getting in the car! It took 3 rugby guys to lift me in and out but we managed it!!!! WOOHOO!! (just means when I go home at the weekend I will have to have them all come home with me or something!). I nearlly knocked myself out on the handbrake when one of them let go of me. However, it's a 4 1/2 hour drive home and I'm slightly concerned I will go insane doing that journey! oh well. It will get sorted!!

Thanks so much guys for all your love and support.

More properly after the exam.

Love

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

speechless
 

frogga

I am not very good at saying things...but I want to let you know that you are such an inspiration. You have faced so many challenges- it really put things into perspective for me.

wishing there was a way I could help you out !! Sending the best of thoughts and prayers your way.....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Jules

after it's over
 

hi frogga - how did end of term go? after i finish some huge struggle, like your exams sound like they will be, i generally fall into a massive collapse on the floor... but you've already had your collapses < :D feeble humor>!
my heart aches for you but your fierce fire shines bright for me
please let us all know how you are doing, when you can.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

You're an inspiration...

...now get better.

Hey everyone,

thanks so much for all your support, love etc it mkes this so much easier to deal with knowing that you are not alone!

Well - exams. That was fine - I finished a 2 1/2 hour exam in about 45 minutes (hey, 60 multiple choice questions!?! my A levels were harder) and I think I've done fine on them - the brain fog made it slightly hard but I fought through it.

RSD - I am still floppy from the chest/ shoulders down and still have the diminished sensation levels and the lack of movement. However, my joints are now being really stupid - they have tightned in a different way to the dystonia - with my dystonia once you learn how to undo a limb it can be stretched out a bit whereas with this it's just gone solid. How can I be solid AND floppy?! My legs are too weak to even allow me to be lifted but yet my carer can't bend or straighten them. This is all making me really upset as well because it is starting to affect my arms - yes, my RSD is already in my arms - but this is different - this is the floppy unable to move or feel things thing. Both last night and the night before I have had to try and deal with my arms just dying and stopping working. I had my arms checked out by one of my friends who is a first aider and training as a paramedic and apparently I had lost all reflex activity in my arms. It's horrific to sit there for hours willing them to work and knowing you can only move your eyes and that even if you could move that teeny bit you would be on the floor anyway.

I don't know what to do - I don't think I will be able to cope if I lose 100% in my arms - at the moment all I can really do with my arms is use my electric wheelchair, drive and hit things but losing that would be devestating to me.

I guess I just have to hope it is the ketamine and muscle reactions but it's looking more and more like the RSD deterioations I have had before. Damnit. I'm feeling abit sorry for myself at the moment because most of my friends are travelling around europe this summer - and though I was considering it it will now have to be written off and I am missing the end of year ball because I am not well enough to go and be able to sit in the car on the way home on sunday/ monday (my mates are trying to force me to go to the ball... but sometimes (very occasionally) my RSD sensible part of my brain insists on over riding everyone else with "if you really p*** the RSD off then what is going to happen?".

I guess this is my biggest fear. What's next? .....

Sorry if this is yet another frustrated email - I do try not to make them too bad - but...

all my love and thanks all!!

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey

Desi - Thankyou so much for your sweet words. Thanks everyone! you have been awesome.

I am having such a bad day today - I am so frustrated and fed up. I got dropped twice again today. I don't know what is happening to my body and I hate it. The "paralysis" is getting worse and my arms are dying more and more. It has got to a point where they are so weak I can barely even press the "on" button on my computer let alone lift my arms from under the duvet or if they fall off the armrests on my wheelchair. I don't know. I hate it.

I am supposed to be at a Ball at the moment - but instead I am stuck in stupid bed, in stupidly evily huge amounts of pain, and I can't do this sort of thing anymore. I'm flat in bed in tears - all my friends are out at the ball partying. I told them to go - they said they were happy to stay, but I have NO choice about living with this disease - they do - and I won't let it ruin my friendships. It's just so so so isolating. Especially as today has been so bad that I just want to be able to get my mates to make hot apple juice with lemon, honey and ginger and then curl up in bed and gossip about something that isn't pain or just sit outside and swap ideas or jokes or just anything that is a distraction from THIS.

I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I am 21. I am at uni. And I guess another thing is that I have just realised how much worse I have got functionally/ physically in the year I have been at university.

It's so so hard and I just hate this so much. But there is no cure but persistence and time and things will improve.

Thanks so much for letting me vent.

Love

Frogga xxxxxxxxx

Hey there :Wave-Hello: Miss Smartypants - on the other hand...you did get through the exam, which you make light of, but :Tip-Hat: I'm sure - no, I know - that took a tremendous amount of will power, energy and determination. It's the spoon thing again - you used them all up on that, now you need a rest.

But you did really well, I'm sure you will get the :winner_first_h4h:.... just lie back and remember YOU *did that*. You need a quiet but engrossing film to watch, take your mind off that ball. Hey, they'll all have horrible hangovers tomorrow and you won't.

Oh yeah, make sure you're battoned down when they lurch in later completely wellied...at least there'll be tons of gossip tomorrow,
xxxxx all the best :hug:

I will sit by your bedside tonight, very quietly. Your victory in finishing out this term is far greater than the study efforts of all those other students put together. I am sorry about the price your body is extracting for this win.
And I am so proud of you for finishing out this term, and this year. You proved your mum quite wrong, didn't you.
Brava! Brava! Brava!

Hi Frogga,
I just saw your post. (Sorry, but I don't get on the board every day.) I feel so much for you. It really upsets me that someone young, smart & determined like you has to get RSD & such a bad case of it! I really hope the docs can find something to make you better & that you can return to the uni in the fall. Maybe you would have gotten worse if you hadn't been at the uni. Do you think that is what caused the deterioration? If not, I hope you can go back. It sounds to me like you enjoy the uni and it gives you a diversion from the RSD. (And you are smart and belong there!) I think frustration is a big part of RSD for all of us. Next to the pain, it's what bothers me the most. I can't imagine how you must feel like missing the ball. I'm so sorry! I agree with Rogue in that, when I look back it's what I DID do & what I learned. But I guess that doesn't give you alot of comfort today. Oh, Frogga, I really enjoy your posts & somehow regardless of your pain & disabilities, you manage to look on the bright side & give me a smile most times. You are an inspiration!
Linmarie
:grouphug:

who thought things could get worse?
 

Heya

Well, I thought it would be difficult for things to get worse - it really takes some serious effort on the RSD front! But, last night it managed it.

The RSD hit my right arm so hard. I was sitting there and my arm started twisting from the shoulder and then subluxed all my joints. Apparently my arm twisted to such a degree that my arm had twisted 270 degrees, my knuckles were flat on the top of my wrist, my thumb dislocated as did my little finger and my shoulder and my elbow hyperextended back.

The only management thing we have found is lots of muscle relaxents and alcohol mixed together along with keeping alot of pressure on the joints to try and keep them in place until the spasms calm down. Keeping pressure on the joints and stopping the spasms from doing any mega damage sounds easy - but even with Ben (a very strong rugby player) and Becka they couldn't fight my hand because the muscles had just gone like rock (but yet I am too weak to lift my arms? this makes no sense to me?!). (So imagine a scene of me flat in bed with the cotbars down whilst Ben and Becka stand over the bed with Becka putting all her weight down through the shoulder joint, whilst Ben stands further down the bed and tries to stop my wrist from breaking and then has to drop the wrist because my neck twisted so badly.)

Bad enough? ..... obviously not! I took aload of diazipam (40mg), baclofen (60mg) and my other meds etc to try and help relax that side - but it didn't work as I started fitting (even when I started taking all my tablets with alot of neat gin it still didn't stop the spasms). Apparently I was alternating fitting (full on entire body jerking with my whole body shaking) with passing out (apparently I would go grey, get "the look" and then pass out with pain, losing consciousness for a couple of minutes, coming back to consciousness then passing out again for a couple of minutes etc - apparently this continued for about 6 hours.)

It ended up with us ordering an indian take away because Becks and Ben decided they had used up about 1 million calories holding me down and decided to try strapping my arm to my chest - and 3 or more scarves later and some parcel tape they had wrapped my arm around and put my spinal brace on but even then you could see the shoulder joint trying to break my clavicle so started some "alternative" medicine (The uni security guards caught us - but one look at my face and my arm and they all went grey and said they wouldn't report us --> normally just having the smell on you is bad enough to have you reported by security - I must have looked pretty dreadful last night!).

Anyway after all that fun, a massive attack of the munchies (and realisation that I had no food and being vegan couldn't really go and steal anyone elses) and ended up eating Haribo which is the worst thing EVER!

Well, this morning my entire right arm, shoulder and my neck are all covered in deep bruises and swelling and lumps and it has completly died and REALLY REALLY REALLY hurts - but at least now we have managed to procure a decent set of slings for locking it across my body. The spasms are still there but have calmed down alittle bit as long as the arm is locked really hard across my chest, but.. I still have a dislocated thumb and a very worrying lump on my clavicle which I think I might have broken last night as it is definetly not right!.

It hurt so much I really really thought I was going to die from pain.

Artist: thanks hun!!, you are so right - it is the spoons thing. I think I may have used up about a month of my holiday spoons already and am about to use another months worth to get home!! It was quite funny as I was up all night in pain anyway so got the gossip as they came back.... LOL... (and being drunk they all forgot what they told me)..

Molly mcn: Thanks!! I did manage to prove mum wrong! woo!

Rogue: Thanks!! I am feeling abit better about missing it - apparently the access was horrendous so I wouldn't have had fun if I had gone and to be honest it was only a chance to hang out with my friends - and so what I don't get to wear a dress this year - I'll just make Dunk take me to the snowball at christmas!

LinMarie: Thanks!! There is no way that I will ever give up uni - as you say I could have deterioated anyway and it's just because i've been away from home it is going to be more noticeable. Uni is one of the main things that keeps me going and stops me from getting depressed because I love the work and it keeps me focused on that and not on pain and RSD (well, some of the time anyway!).

Thankyou everyone so much for being there for me!

Love ya

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxx

Froggsy,

You are always in my thoughts and prayers!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Sorry to hear about what's been happening... ((HUGE HUGS!!))

Love you, hun, and I am always here when you need me! ((hugs)) :hug:

I have been using too many of my spoons, too... I know how that goes. :hug: :hug:

stupid spoons IHH..... Why can't I just buy some off of someone? that would rock...

feel better hon!!

love ya

Froggsy xxxxx

Frogga Sweetie
 

you don't have to buy spoons--I'm sending all mine to you. I have the day off and I'll rest and you use mine to help you recover!! What a night:eek: !!!May God bless you with a pain free trip home--you deserve it!!! You are always close to me in thought, when I think life isn't worth living I think of you and how you still have humor about what life handed you--THANKS:hug: Carose

hey rosie - the 'fitting' you described - this happens to my friend with RSD a lot, I didn't know other people with RSD had this too. i guess it's a stage IV thing (if people used "stages" for RSD anymore).
She's just started having her hands twist and turn to rock. It's absolutely inCREDIBLE how strong her hands are, because I do try to prevent them from twisting by fitting my hands underneath hers. Oy vey! I quickly decided to substitute a tennis ball for my hand because the crunching sounds of my hand bones gave me the shivvers <yet another feeble yolk>
All those scarves sound v. fetching and creative. You haven't marred the look with grey duct tape, have you? I don't know what they call this tape in England.
I am glad that you did not die from the pain. I hope you will have the alarming clavicle lump inspected for possible breakage. Don't want infection.
Are you bring any of your mates home with you on holiday? I don't imagine your sister is quite as helpful with scarves, indian food, etc.
Big transatlantic hug <non-painful type>
xoxoxo

Heavens! This is just awful; I'm so sorry things are escalating like this, you can have all my spoons too (if only...). You need some of those adjustable suitcase belts, perhaps. Frogga, what is this? Is it the RSD or (sorry, can't remember the name) the loose joint condition?

I'm surprised at the alcohol helping - just because when I indulge, I get very severe leg/foot cramps the day after, tapering off over a few days, unfailingly. Major bore! The true meaning of cramping one's lifestyle.;)

I am wondering about this high epidural procedure; obviously you couldn't have had it this time, because of the exam. But in future, if you have nothing pressing, an early treatment might bypass some of the inexorable stages you go through. No? Am I talking through my hat? Probably.

I really hope your journey goes/has gone well, you're due for *a break*, as in "gimme a.."
xxxxx all the best :hug:

Oh Frogga,
I feel soooooooooo much for you. I can't imagine what your spasms are like but I do know what it is like to try for any relief you can find. It sounds like you have amazingly strong muscles that have a mind of their own. They sound like they're defiant & do what they want & not what you tell them - such as to lift your arm. I know how weird RSD makes our bodies. Hope & pray that someone, somewhere can find something to help.
Linmarie

Hey,

Thanks so much for the loan of spoons!! They got me through the journey home! (something I really didn't think was going to happen), however I am now paying the price of using every spare piece of cutlery I stole off everyone!

I think that the clavicle is just cross - mum poked it abit and decided that the bone was still there so I'd be fine, (see, this is what happens if you live with ex orthopeadic and now military nurses!) and that this is just from the spasms. I still have to have my many coloured pashminas (ditched the sling - too ugly) and now have my right arm rigged up in one which is then tied around my waist as tight as possible to keep my shoudler as still as possible short term). Some of my hand is more unlocked but it is still very very tight and sore and a lovely grey colour. The paralysis is still there and it's scaring me alot...

It's good to be back, but so hard at the same time. I didn't realise how much I rely on friends or carers until I am at home and don't have a carer around or my friends just to break the constant monotony of pain. I just want to try and distract myself but it's impossible when mums at work and I'm stuck at home in bed, (some of my care arrangements fell through and mates are all at work because I thought I'd sorted the carers for this week).

Also, I had to have one of my cats put down today because she developed a thrombosis this morning which paralysed her. I'm going to miss Izz so much - she was a constant that shared my bed at night, that knew when my pain was too bad and would just sit on my head or my pillow or my chest and lick me - all of which the RSD hated, but I knew she was trying to go "look, I understand how much this sucks, just want to say I care" and just having her on the bed removes some of the isolation that the pain gives.

The spasms are still really bad - it doesn't help that as well as the RSD I also have dystonia and HMS/EDS. The dystonia means that all my muscles get really tight and that they develop contracturs and shake and do all sorts of stupid stuff, whilst the HMS/EDS means that my ligaments etc are all too weak and so my joints sublux or dislocate easily - and mix those two together with RSD and you are slightly screwed.

Carose: Thanks for the spoon loan - I will pay you them back when you need them!!

Molly: Thanks babe - we use tennis balls as well, but sometimes the spasms hit so fast there is no time to get anything in my hand and then you have to have someones hand to try and peel back the fingers again (as I'm sure you know!). The bones crunching is the worst bit - especially watching other people's faces as they feel that happening! We did unfortunatly have to use duct tape but the scarves improved the look somehow.. (last time mum "dissapeared" she came home with some awesome pashminas she'd bought in a souk (correct spelling?) in the middle east somewhere and they are gorgeous) - and were sacrificed as slings and look very pretty.

Linmarie and Desi - thanks so much for being there for me and just letting me know that I am not going through this on my own!

Artist - the epidural sounds awesome - I am going to talk to my PM dr (who has "magically" found my notes) about because I really am struggling with the RSD at the moment. It would be great just to give my body a rest from this because I have no idea how much more it can handle from this. I know that sounds over - the - top but the RSD seems to be going on an all systems break down thing at the moment.

Thanks so much people.....

Love ya loads and thanks!

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xoxoxoxoxo

frogga..with all that you have been dealing with has brought streams of tears down my face. i wish i had some sage advise for you-but- all i can do is send you some very gentle hugs and wish you some peaceful days and nights ahead...moonstar :hug:

frogga,
You are one amazing woman. I'm so sorry for what you are going thru. I hope the docs can find something to help you. I wish I had an answer, but I'm at a total loss. I do know that when I get down, and just figure I'll never be able to do anything ever again, I think of you and I just give myself a kick in the pants and get going. I wish I had half of your determination and gumption. Even knowing how much pain you are going thru, you can still make me smile the way you write about it. sending you very very soft hugs.:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
Mary

Huge, huge hugs, my dear!! :hug:

Love ya loads and hoping things are going better today! :heartthrob:

:heartthrob:,
Nessy