Emotional Support Network (How to deal with frustration, etc)
 

I feel like no one gets this (other than the people from this forum). No one wants to get it, but even if people did, would that make a difference? This is so frustrating, exhausting and depressing.

What kind of emotional support(friends/fam) do you have? who can you talk to about this? How do you release frustration/anger, etc?

EDIT: I will elaborate on this. I had to move back with my folks due to the injuries. Mother is not very understanding of the situation(or in denial) and while I get a shelter and food I get no emotional support. Also, in my parents' house, I have a sister with severe adult ADHD (who just does not get that I am injured, and forgets to be considerate). Mother is even in denial about my sister's severe adult ADHD, so I can't really ask much for myself, as much as it is frustrating. To complicate things, I do not know anyone in this town/city. I small-talk with neighbors, but it would be nice to spend time with a non-family member once in a while. I am a social person, so this isolation is very hard on me. I am increasingly getting frustrated/disappointed with my mother, who is the only person I really have right now. It looks like I am going to be here for a while and I seriously fear for my mental health and I would appreciate your input on how to get out of this rut, in light of my PCS condition (cannot drive/go to loud places, restaurants/coffee shops). I basically eat, sleep, go on the computer, go for short walks. I feel like a prisoner...

It is a very lonely injury. I hope that you will soon be able to spread your wings and have small interactions with people. I try to take pleasure in small things. I think that this healing time can also represent a period of growth as you discover how strong you really are.

Dig deep for that strength.
Hang in there!

I'm bro I just saw this post and it looks like you posted it a while ago. Seriously you and hockey and others are the only thing that keeps me going. I know that is small consolation with what you have but if you wanted my number you can call me if you want my email you can have it if u want you messaged me you can at any time day or night I am there for you. You are the best friend I have right now loland don't forget i lol when I'm nervous and telling the truth

I hear you...I have a very small family, when I say how I'm feeling I just basically get blank stares and no comments, they don't understand this.

I feel as though I will never be the same again, try not to think like that very often and I don't do a whole lot either, I take my dog out, go to Dr's and therapy appts, and time is going by...was suicidal last summer.

I come on here and know I'm understood, the sleeping or rather lack of sleep is killing me, a walking zombie, internal tremors are getting worse, last night they started in my legs and I tossed and turned for most of the night, I just wanted to cry and felt so alone.

I want you to know I am here for you too, I get it, I suppose we just keep on fighting get as well as we can and go from there, good days and bad days...my brain feels like it's literally broken sometimes.

Hang in there, you are not alone :grouphug:

I'm with you guys. I don't know how much more I can handle.

All I have here is my husband and my 2 kids (11 and 9 years old). My husband... He loves me. He truly and honestly believes that he supports me. In his own way. For those of you, who don't know - he is a medical professional (PA) working in one of the urgent care clinics and you all know how little training they have when it comes to our injury. He just doesn't get it. You know - the worst patients are doctors. I can ensure you - the worst caregivers are also doctors (or PAs in my case).

What make the situation worse - he really thinks he is helping me and supporting me by saying "it's all in your head", "depression", "taking vitamins is not gonna help you". Don't get me wrong - he is a good man, he is always there for me when I need him. He just simply doesn't get this injury. He thinks that I should trust his opinion (since he a professional here of course) and not trust what I have read online or anywhere else.

I'm sorry this is too long, but I just feel that I need to vent badly. We had a nasty fight yesterday. I spent the whole evening crying, couldn't join our online meeting. We had a fight today over something that's not gonna happen for the next 4 years (I know this one is on me). I feel so lonely and isolated. I have nobody to talk to. No friends, no family. I barely get out of the house. Life sucks.

Marina,

Just a thought. You could ask him to do something before he tries to give you medical advice or opinion. Ask him to watch the whole YouTube 'You Look Great' series at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9Xso...ature=youtu.be

It will enhance his knowledge as a PA plus hopefully give him a reason to be more supportive.

My best to you.

Thank you, Mark! I'll try to get him to watch the series. He is very skeptical of everything that's posted online though :(

why would all of us give up our lives the way they were for no reason? i am guilty of denying in the past too. i had a friend who had depression and went to the hospital and i said he was a baby. until depression hit me and no one believed. now it's the same thing with the head injury stuff. i will always give people the benefit of the doubt if they say they are sick from something.

Marina,

The YouTube series is done by a man who suffered a mild concussion but needed years to get back to his life. He does an excellent job of chronicling his experience. It is not a simple online bit of info. It is well presented.

i hear you loud and clear
 

Yep, nobody really gets it in my family either. It is totally messed up. I moved back in with my elderly mother yesterday, because I can't be alone due to anxiety about this. Needing ativan to sleep, probably won't be able to return to my teaching job in August. Dealing with huge sense of grief/loss/fear.

Deciding to become a warrior for my own health. Advocate for myself (try). came across a great website that focuses on nutrition and healing pcs-- don't have the link at the minute but try googling "lucy" and "concussion." She has a lot of helpful tips about things to eat-- avocados, blueberries, and i am trying her suggestion of cell salts (never heard of them before, but i am desperate).

good luck, keep in touch.
julia

The good news, such as it is, is that you are very early in your recovery. One can never say with certainty, but the odds are overwhelming that you will see improvement in the days ahead.

In the interim, it's great that you are being attentive to things, like diet. Rest as much as you can and try (I know it's hard) not to worry too much.

You didn't mention where you live, but there may be a brain injury support group in your area; the Brain Injury Association may have one listed in your state. Take your mom and/or other family members with you.

http://www.biausa.org/state-affiliates.htm

I wish. My family is already annoyed with having to deal with me as it is. TOUGH LOVE.

I feel you, Julia. Fear/anxiety about my future is a huge part, especially given that I am yet to find a partner(which my folks are only too eager to remind me). It will crush my elderly mother if I tell her I cannot go back to my job yet. I had a huge fight with her to no avail, a couple of days ago regarding her attitude about my injuries, and I think something died in me that night. Seriously, I have been feeling different ever since. I just hope what does not kill me makes me stronger instead of leaving me more broken and damaged.

I believe I understand
 

Thank you for sharing what you have here. I have lived with the affects of a traumatic brain injury and an invisible disability for nearly 48 years. I have come to realize that denial can be like a warm blanket that people use to avoid having to feel their feelings. I have found that some people do not know how to feel their feelings.

Some people do not want to feel their feelings, so for them remaining in denial is a softer way. Other people realize -- either consciously or unconsciously that they would have to make changes if they stopped denying our realities. For them making changes is too.... I have found that trying to make people feel or change is some thing I am powerless over. With this painful reality, I have come to realize that I am the one who needs to get comfortable in my own skin.

To do this I have had to learn to accept myself in my reality, before I could stop fighting against myself. This has and continues to be a process for me *edit*



I look forward to hearing from you.

Have a great day and fun with your time.

Craig

Will.....:grouphug:

willgardner,
your post reminded me of something I read recently so I went back and found it. Maybe you've read it before and if you have, I'm sorry for posting it again.

http://sojo.net/blogs/2014/01/13/new...d-about-trauma

Read down to #9 and #10, that was the part that triggered the memory for me.

As for getting emotional support from others (family, friends), I've pretty much given up on trying to get that. I just try to accept that its difficult for people to understand things they are not familiar with and have not experienced.

And I try to remember that when dealing with that with others. I've started asking the question "What is it like for you to have xyz?" when they complain about their problem.

The biggest thing I've learned, is people just want to be heard and acknowledged about what they are experiencing. They don't want pity or someone to fix them (necessarily), they just generally want someone to hear their pain and acknowledge that its real and its shitty. They want to know they aren't alone.

The easiest way to get emotional support IMO is to pay for it. Find a good therapist and see them regularly. Its not the same as family and friends and in some ways that's a good thing... its way more dependable and its help with the proper training that doesn't have emotional investment in the relationship, so it can just be about you.

I've been seeing a rehab psychologist since about 6 months after my injury and have found her to be very valuable for many different things. Partly she helps coordinate different aspects of my rehab schedule, but she also keeps on eye on the emotional side of things and is helping me work through the acceptance part and the moving forward and "where do I go from here" stuff.

Its money well spent. Without her guidance, I wouldn't want to guess where I'd be at right now. My life is still filled with anger, upset and frustration, but having someone to help guide me through it is helpful.

Starr

Mark, you are too kind. What you said means a lot. :grouphug:

Craig, thanks for the wisdom.

Sitke, thanks for the support.

Starr, thanks for the article. It was well-written. I enjoyed it.

Craig,

Welcome to NeuroTalk.

Please feel free to introduce yourself and tell us about your injury and how you have overcome your struggles.

I see you are involved as a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.

Your educational struggles sound familiar.

So, welcome and please introduce yourself

Welcome to NT, Craig.

well said Mark. no one would chose PCS. it's a special kind of torture. during my worst days i tried to remind myself i didn't have to like it or try to look on the bright side (b/c i couldn't--i cried for hours at a time)... i just had to endure it. i was also so unsympathetic to folks with mental/emotional challenges (just get more exercise, get outside, get a job you love, quit moping!) since i've always been pretty happy and things come easily to me. i wish i could undo the accident, but since i can't, i think it's teaching me to be kinder to others, and more gentle with myself (well, gotta credit my therapist for the last part, that was his idea).

that's the perfect term for it. a special kind of torture. this is the only life we get so we have to make the best of it and adjust and adapt. at least we have each other.

thanks for sharing this link. got some good chuckles out of it.