Need a little help from my friends
 

Dear Friend
 

You are on my mind and in my prayers.
May this difficult of times be and become instead a shining time of blessing for you.
May you have that fog lifted.
May pain be abated.
May the difficulties which come about because of the little one's Dad be resolved to the good of her and of you and family.
May work be a place of affirmed use of your talents so you KNOW all is well with those in your care.
May you know and feel the surrounding love of those of us who, as friends, care.
God Bless You,
M56:hug:

You are lifted up in Prayer!

Wow, I know that foggy feeling, and with your job and having to make huge decisions that affect people's lives, I feel your worry.

How are things now?

Oh Pooh life just keeps on giving those gut kicks. Is it medication that's giving you the "fog" or is it depression, or your ongoing pain? Whichever, or whatever, can you reduce your number of rostered shifts or maybe work a shift that offers less hours? The pain we live with doesn't seem to go away and no matter how hard we try to address it, it just keeps on giving. Hugs to you and I hope the hospital supervisors can work with you to find some solutions :hug:

Hard decisions
 

Dear Pooh,

I feel you are torn between your conscience which is acutely aware of your duty of care and your grief at losing something you love and clearly value dearly and are probably great at. No doubt there is an enormous cost to you in pain and fatigue to maintain the level of concentration and adrenaline required to function in such a full on work environment. I'm wondering how you'd feel about a compromise position with perhaps less reward, lower risk,working in a less complex environment as a nurse? My suggestion is to retrain as a blood pathology nurse and work in a medical clinic. It would be more repetitive, no shift work, greater access to part time work, easier physically and cognitively. You would still have some of the financial, social,and identity benefits of working. I know it won't be the same, but what do you think? It's seems really unfair having to keep giving away things that are important to you. But it's probably playing on your mind because you're a caring nurse who would hate to inadvertently cause anyone else to suffer because of a lapse of concentration or mistake... I'm so sorry you have to face this difficult decision. You will Know when you can't trust your body/brain to keep up but it helps to let go if you have something to go to.

Booklover

Still hanging on
 

Pooh...
 

risk management
 

Dear Pooh,
How frustrating! So you have made a “choice” of sorts, what I’d call “a Sophie’s choice” . A term phrased from a famous film where Meryl Streep (Sophie) had to choose between saving her son or daughter from the nazi’s. So often people with chronic illness are asked to make a choice which is like a Sophie’s choice, that is a choice between two difficult things, and that to me is a great loss. Rather than worrying, for now I think it would be far more helpful to focus on how to minimise risk through good self-care, pain management, and energy conservation particularly before and after work shifts.

I was faced with a similarly difficult decision when I was pregnant with my son, and needed to go back on medications which were potentially harmful to him. My medical team and I used a risk minimisation approach. Thankfully despite lots of pregnancy complications our son was delivered safely by emergency caesarean with only a minor abnormality in his little finger.

So lower the housework standards, have lovely Epson salt baths, ban ironing, freeze meals, co-opt willing helpers at home and a terrific medical team

Remember take care of yourself first,

booklover

Pooh,
 

Pooh,
Is there any retirement age where you can collect retirement benefits that might help pay for insurance (prior to SS and Medicare)??

Any chance for Disability??

Also, Would think by putting an ad in newspaper there would be the possibility of those who would need a nurse a few days a week which would help to pay for insurance.

I did not develop most of the spine/fusion/PN issues until after I retired. Fortunately, I was able to retire at 50/51. Just can't imagine working with all this pain, as well as the high dose of narcotic meds I am on just to help the pain tolerable.

Some years ago one of my daughters had worked for SS/Medicare. When she quit, she put an ad in the newspaper to help the elderly fill out medical forms, etc. which they were more than glad to reimburse for not having to deal with these overwhelming issues.

Pray something good will soon come your way enabling you to work less and take better care of your health/pain issues.


Gerry

Prayers....More
 

Pooh-

Praying even now.
Today may be a brighter day.

Lifting you up to HIM.

Love,
Mark56

in the same boat
 

dear friend
you are a smart woman
with a fabulous career
a rewarding career
a blessing
you have the capacity to see
and your professionalism
your intuition speaking to you
as you know and personal horrible inept
behavior
many awesome suggestions
and yet i understand your position
you are a awesome woman
you have been a servant helping
over the years
what ever decision you make i'm sure
You Will make the best choices as hard
as it Will be
life isn't fair
but your life and job of choice
unselfish in every way
i celebrate your endurance
i have lost my ability to work
and at times too take care of myself
something i must do with my stupid pride
i have done all with God at my side
i live have my life in my bed
it hurts from tip of head down both my arms
and legs from toes to finger tips
my spine at my surgery site my lower back
debilitating a bleak future and for depression
to take hold like never before
i so understand
i worked all my life
starting at age five and i'm fifty three
came this far did so so so much
for it to be taken away
my job my jobs
and i won't lie i become so angry
so so angry
my life seems and in in some aspects
over
the wonder will anybody ever want me
the thaught of growing old alone
as i made my choice to do my job and
raise my children
ex husband non complaint
i understand
it isn't easy
and become plain old tired
pray your not where i am
but i do very much understand
God Bless
me

Definition
 

[FONT="Century Gothic"]Of insanity.....Some how I just don't seem to get it through thick scull... I just keep trying to do the same stuff.. loosing more every day. Too many long days, not enough rest days in between. Stuff going on that should not be as far as my monster. Having to do more things to be sure we are safe from things and people who would try to harm me and or my family. I continue to rant and rave about the lack of response from local law enforcement, health and human service in both Nebraska and South Dakota, Child Protective in these two states is a joke. I have told a local law enforcement that should "something" happen. I will walk through hell to be sure that they are made responsible for the lack of response. So sad that things have to happen before those who are responsible for safety of others and children act........:mad:

[/FONT

Pooh,
 

Is there any chance of cutting hours??? I know the $$$ is important; but if you don't cut back; afraid the "insanity" chasing you is liable to catch up with you. The end result will be the inability to continue at all. Those pain zingers disrupt the ability to even think or make sense when speaking. Unfortunately; that comes from experience.

Don't know the full situation with keeping the father of the children away from them? Do you think there may be legal steps/threats warnings coming from the legal profession. Sometimes just receiving a "strong" letter from a lawyer may result in a scare attic.

You are in my prayers.:smiley pray:


Gerry

so so sorry with the added stress
in your life
i genuinely wish nothing
but some relief
to be able to take a breath
to muster up the energy
to fight for what is ahead
but most of all
i wish you the same i pray for
a day of nothing but feel good things
that our brain getting a break from the
craziness
to keep the Faith
all that happens
boils down to understanding
we are given adversities as test of our Faith
and if that means we as a family
here on this site is also a way to
reach out and ask for prayers
that you have the strength to
push through what we must
and rewards were promised
you have helped me in many ways
know that
it means more than you'll know
too many difficult challenges
still ahead in my family
priority
however i need to
in the front
i need to take care of me
and you need to do the same
and i many times have to do things myself
pay for the consequences
and recoup for the next cluster
comes along
my prayers and thoughts and prayers
may you find enough love to bring a smile
to your heart
and a belly laugh
i miss my dog
do you have one of Gods creature
to bring that happy unconditional love
like no other
love
me