Have you ever wanted to tell people to shut up?
 

There are days when I can't tolerate hearing people talk...1. Have the time I am irritated by their voice, and more than not, I don't even know what the heck they are talking about. It isn't that I am not interested, it's like nails down a chalkboard.

It makes me agitated. To be honest, the information then comes off as useless, because I can't keep up with it.

I have experienced this too. I get zoned out trying to listen. I have learned to walk away rather than comment. I might make a statement such as "My brain is spinning right now and nothing is making sense." if the person(s) would even care. Or, 'I need to take a break from the conversation.'

Fast speech, multiple people talking, people talking with heavy accents, people with whiny voices and such can quickly over-burden my brain.

We each need to figure out our own system for responding to these situations based on our tolerance levels.

It does not help to speak up with attitude. Others will not understand, AT ALL and it only makes the situation more stressful. Quietly slipping away works best for me.

If someone asks what is going on, I sometimes use the term 'spaghetti brain.' I hear what everyone is saying but it is tangled up like a bowl of spaghetti.

Hope you can find a way to deal with this situation.

My best to you.

So Glad to know this is not me. My 18 year old daughter whom I love dearly, will corner me with these type of discussions. She gets upset because she thinks I am not listening....oh I hear her....it is just so darned nerve wracking and if I get one sentence that connects, I am lucky.

She needs to know that she needs to slow down with her speaking. She needs to make the sentences simple, no long complex sentences. If you are like me, it would work better if she texted or better, email her comments to you. I have almost not problem when I can read the comments. It also helps if others can reduce the emotion and angst in their speech.

I know this sounds convoluted but it is how our brains are processing verbal input. With just a bit of help from others, we can do much better.

It also helps to turn off any background voices, TV, radio, etc.

My best to you.

Oh I sure do!! If I am in a situation where I can get away from them, I usually just tell people I am really really noise sensitive and I am getting a bad headache. And then I just wander away - my family is used to me popping in and out of social events.

But if I am in a doctors office waiting room and cant get away I pop in my foam ear plugs or my noise cancelling earphones and try to calm myself down..

Its frustrating because I feel so socially isolated since my accident but now that I have a bit more energy and am trying to get out in the world again, the noise sensitivity makes me want to run for home again.

All the time. I have horrible response controls nowadays. I usually tell random people off at stores when I do get to go out. I do a lot of weird stuff nowadays and people notice it and make a comment or laugh at it. I have 0 tolerance for it and usually lay into someone good.

Im working on it slowly. At least Ive stopped swearing! :)

This definitely affects me, but not all the time (although I think I avoid a lot of situations like this, so maybe that's why it doesn't seem like such a problem at the moment?).

Recently I went to the pub with a group of people I know, but they aren't close friends. Only one of them knows about my head problems and they only know a little bit.

There were two other big tables, it's normally dead silent but it was loud and busy and I was getting really frustrated trying to filter so I could hear what my friends were saying.

At one point I asked a question and 3 people started answering it, I freaked out a bit and think I raised my voice louder than is appropriate to say something like 'I can't do that, can just one person speak!'
I felt really embarrassed when I thought about it later :(

Hi,

I have a sixteen year old daughter who was fourteen at the time of my accident/injury, and she would get so mad at me for not responding like I once did. She didn't realize I had to process all she had told me first, then try to speak with my word-finding, stuttering way that actually was what I meant to tell her.

2 years later, I can respond more timely and with more accuracy than before, but mostly she now understands my brain issues better. She now sees me struggling with words, and says, "it's okay, Mom. Just rest for now and we'll talk later." Thank God for my family, who are now accustomed to the new me! M-i-m

Yes. I have noticed that I have this issue as well. (I've been such a mess that many cognitive issues have eluded me). If I could walk away, I do. If I cannot, I try to end it asap. you are not alone...

I also should note, I know who to snap on and who not to snap on.

I dont snap really on anyone in my family. They know the situation, and when they see me get heated they know to back off.

Also, as someone who does snap all the time now since my injury, I should note that its a horrible idea, and makes you feel a lot worse.

I was like this even before the TBI [almost 2 wks. ago by the way.]. A I have a problem w/ high pitch. And 2 it's amazing how much people talk in this country. [the states.]. and just like random small talk. it actually really bothers me. one of the things I love about London is how much people don't, talk.

Yes, and yes
 

I often found this happening to me during meetings. I just couldn't track verbally after about 10 minutes. In those cases, I just did the best I could, and often ended up overstimulated.

But I have asked people to stop talking, as I was having a hard time with sound. No matter how gently (or not) you say it, it doesn't seem to be well received. I think the easiest way is to always be prepared for an escape plan, hope you don't have to use it, and keep trying no matter how long it takes. It took me over two years of practice before I could usually eat lunch in a restaurant without too much trouble, and it's still not a guarantee on a bad day. But I can do it now.

Things like taking breaks from the conversation, earplugs, regular exposure, and sometimes just going home helped me until my brain could handle just a little bit more. Once I gave myself permission to not be locked in, it was much easier to deal with things without as much frustration.

Selective
 

Guess I have been more selective with whom I spend time with - if they cannot take into consideration my disabilities I distance myself.

You tell them the issues you have and some listen and act responsibly, others discount it because you look normal, you are normal. Dealing with people on the phone who have strong foreign accents are the worst, now I ask them to put someone else on from their company who is not a foreigner and will answer my queries concisely.

In crowded places I choose to sit in a corner facing the wall, helps with the overload.

After a while you develop ways of addressing situations using trial and error. In time you become less agitated and aggro, choosing your words wisely to suit the occasion. Coin phrases become part of your new tool box.

I have returned to seminars and before the start say to the lecturer I will be ducking in and out due to the overload on my brain. Taking that breather/quiet time is the difference between lasting the distance and not. As psychologist said, keep putting yourself in these situations, stay awhile and leave, building your tolerance and finding ways to navigate. Not always easy but pays dividends eventually.

Foreign accents are a brick wall to me, too. Some times, I have to ask for a supervisor to get away from the accents. I often tell that person that when somebody speaks with a strong accent, I spend so much effort trying to understand each word that I do not have the ability to understand the sentence. Seniors often have this same problem.

Sitting or standing in a corner works for me, too. But, I face away from the corner. It helps to be able to identify the sounds so my brain can let go of the 'what was that?' thought process.

I just don't talk or listen as much as pre accident days.

Bud

LOL - all the time!

I can pick out a word or two here and there - just enough to pretend to know what is going on if it's a one on one conversation. However, if there is more than one person in the conversation forget it - I just zone out! Actually I zone out with one on one if it's more than one sentence back and forth.

Doctors and therapists talk and talk and then write in my file that I'm fine ??? HA, they never ask me about what they just spoke about - I can guarantee you that I have no idea - perhaps a general idea but no specifics. But, because I was looking at them and smiling they think I'm fine ????? Or they ask me a simple question like, "Do you have any children?" Well, I can answer that so I'm fine ?????

My SLP therapist knows because she can read a paragraph to me and I cannot answer the questions.

Glad to hear everyone's responses. I got embarrassed always saying "I'm sorry I just missed the beginning when actually I missed the whole thing. I can smile and nod and get a few vacant stares but it works. I also will just excuse myself and go to the bathroom just to get away. Different topic when I return :) Also I have a few catch phrases that work well too...

Frustrating for sure....it makes me feel momentarily stupid and I'm not a stupid person. I loose confidence about the future as well.

I had to leave a meeting today because as the speaker is talking my brain is fixated on the vertical blinds and overhead lights. I was tired from vacation travel so I came home and rested. Will do tomorrow as well.... and hope to avoid big conversations.

Warm wishes