Going crazy?
 

Hi Everyone,

Iam feeling really guilty right now. My grandkids are the most important people in my life. The only problem is that when I spend more than an hour or two, I can't take it. I seem to have very liitle patience at at all if any. Its not just them. I notice that I am like that with everything and everybody. I was not always like this. I can't even stand to go grocery shopping. I find myself getting angry if another shopper gets in my way or the wait in line is too long. I've noticed that it has gotten worse in the last two years. Is this part of RSD?

Thanks,
Sue K.

I also feel your guilt. I have homeschooled my son since April 2006. We have always been able to just leave and go where when we want, and why we want. I cannot now. If I wake up flared, we don't leave the house, no matter what was planned.

Keep in mind that when you have your grandkids you do NOT have to jump around and keep up with them (not that I am saying you do). Kids have soooo much compassion it is quite amazing to see.

My suggestion: Look for craft books, craft ideas, etc that in the 2 hour time frame that you can give them, they leave with a memory of a fun thing with grandma. Please keep in mind it is the memories and not the things you buy them to compensate for not being able to keep up.

Also if they are old enough, since you have internet (obviously) there are instant messages that can be done. Some instant messages offer games that can be played between the two people.

If you offer their ages I can help you look for some fun (in home) things to do in a short amount of time.

Hugs. They will remember you for you, not for your disease.

Also, when it comes down to shopping, I try not to do it too often. I am the only one in the household with a license though. My mom came over and she drove us to Jonathan's sports last Thursday, then we went to Chuck E Cheese. She and I sat while he played, then I stood and did a couple of games with him. Then my mom offered to buy us dinner for a couple of nights, so we went to Target. At the end of this I was crying and Patrick had to help me into the house (almost carrying me). So basically: no driving, no major walking, standing for about 5 min @ CEC, and walking slowly leaning on a cart in the food section only at Target and I was 10 plus and crying my eyes out. We left at 1 and were home by 4. Hmm, I can't even give my family 3 hours of my time before I get so badly set off that it scares my own mother.

I feel your guilt.

Normal to me
 

Hi Sue,
I am in the same situation except my grandchilden are on the other coast.
I have a 4 year old grandson I've never held in my arms.

I was so irritable I couldn't stand to be around myself !!
My doctor told me this was part of depression, the only sign I ever showed as I never felt depressed. But I researched it and it is one of the signs.
Trazodone helped me, but i still am very irritable. Sometimes like a pot ready to boil over. I hope you can explain this to people honestly and that they wll understand why you are so irritated. Takes a lot of hard work to overcome this.
All the best to you,
Hope

Let's see....constant pain and lack of sleep not a good combination. We are human after all.
I used to be the queen of patience, I had a daycare for over 10 years. Patience was a number one qualification.
So now I try to make quiet time just for me, it's like charging my batteries. That way I can have more patience for the ones I care about.
Jeanne

Hi Sue,
I know what you are saying. I try to plan for my grandson. Rest up the day before & not plan anything for the day after since I know I will need to recover. I still do things while around him that I would not normally do. I try to be more "normal". I try to move too quickly. (Yesterday, I whacked my knee so hard against a table leg that he winced.) I don't know how old your grandchildren are but mine is 9 and I have to keep reminding him of my limitations. But, I do try to plan things that he enjoys. Children are more pleasant when they are doing something they like to do. As for the impatience, I think alot of mine comes from frustration. I'm frustrated that I can't do what I used to be able to do. I think this is all do to the RSD. I wasn't that way before I got it.
Linmarie

Thanks everyone,
Christine, thanks for the ideas. My gramdkids are 8,4,6, 3 and 2 mo. I got the RSD 3mo before the first one was born. They have always seen me like this. Although it has gotten worse than before. More so this year. My oldest my grandson seems to get frustrated with me real fast. But he loves the computer so I try to play gameswith him. I just recently got a computer so its getting better with him.

Thanks
Sue K.

[QUOTE=sue k;108999]Hi Everyone,

Iam feeling really guilty right now. My grandkids are the most important people in my life. The only problem is that when I spend more than an hour or two, I can't take it. I seem to have very liitle patience at at all if any. Its not just them. I notice that I am like that with everything and everybody. I was not always like this. I can't even stand to go grocery shopping. I find myself getting angry if another shopper gets in my way or the wait in line is too long. I've noticed that it has gotten worse in the last two years. Is this part of RSD?

[SIZE="2"][COLOR="Blue"] Hi Sue! First of[ all .. "Congratulation's" for having all those grand kids!! I'm jealous, I only have 3:wink: LOL Anyway, when my oldest grand child comes over, I too feel guilty. It's usually when I am in bed and in so much pain. she kisses me on my cheek and her and my little girl(whom we have had legal custody of since she was 2 mos. old, she is now 7 yrs. old) kept wanting me to play with them. so, I felt guilty.. got up slowwwwwwwwwwwwly.. and put on "that nice face' and played when I didn't feel like it. I know the both of them sorta guessed I was not up to it, so my daughter says mama, go on back to bed, me and Hannah will do something else. this about broke my heart./COLOR I don't get out much either. My husband bought me a brand new car (paid in full) too and I don't even drive it!! I'm afraid my hand, wrist and upper arm will be in such pain, I'll go in a ditch.:( Anyway, there is play dough, twister(remember that game?) where I spin the dial and the two of them play! Also I have a ton of computer games they go on too. well, take care and remember, you are not alone in this. hugs Sue :hug: :hug: :hug: Love, Desi ]

what a lovely story. i wrote on the sue k/joan m thread about how i 'gramma', and i do sometimes doubt myself as to if i am good enough but when my 18 year old grandson comes by, and brings his friends, i know that what i have to offer is good enough. he and the other boys, i have six grandsons, have never been embarassed with me, and even when i would medicate, and then drag myself, to their basketball games in high school, they would yell, 'hi gram' from where ever they were and that was the sign that it is not what you do, but just that you are there for them, even if you can't get off the couch that day.
they are the focus of my life in so many ways and you are right there are no distractions but the pain ...
thank you for sharing. you were loved. joan

Since I homeschool, I have a few craft idea websites, here goes:

http://www.fabulousfoods.com/holiday...peepcraft.html

http://www.joysikorski.com/HOWtoDRAWlisto.html

http://frog.edschool.virginia.edu//Frog2/ (your oldest will like this one)

http://www.funbrain.com/ (for the younger ones - it might make the older think he's doing school)

http://homepage.mac.com/cohora/ext/internethunts.html (scavenger hunt)

http://www.pudgybunny.com/colorcarebears.html

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q...=Google+Search

Hope these help.

Heya,

Firstly - about grannies.. like Rogue I had Old granny and broken granny.

Broken granny had broken her spine when she was in her 20s and paralysed her left leg and partially paralysed in her right leg. The accident also gave her severe chronic pain and sciatica and numbness and all of that. Although she could get round the house on crutches she had to have a wheelchair when she was outside and she spent alot of time resting.

I remember her so much more than old granny. I loved her to pieces. She taught me chinese chequers, how to iron, supplied me with books, taught me to cook, encouraged me to live my dreams (before RSD I desperatly wanted to do medicine and granny had a degree in tropical medicine so we'd spend hours talking about it). She taught me to knit, sew, card wool, spin, weave, make rugs, crotchet and any other handicraft. It didn't matter if we had to stay in- we always had a ball. She taught me about animals, about herons, fish, frogs, toads. Even though we couldn't venture out of the back garden because of her walking we still would talk about plants and animals and anything. She encouraged us to perform plays, to write stories or to just hang out. We used to go and sit on her bed if she was having a bad day and just do a jigsaw or talk whilst knitting away.

As I got older and she moved down to live in a new house 2 minutes walk from ours she became someone that was always there, for coffee, ideas, sympathy or occasionally a kick up the butt for being lazy. Just walking in to the house just made you feel better somehow and comforted. After I developed RSD she was amazing at helping me learn to live with the pain, she understood, to some degree which is more than the rest of my family!

I guess I just wanted to say that I was always far closer to "broken" granny than I was to "old" granny. And it was because she always had time for me and also that she had a way of making the most boring things fun and was amazing at sparking hobbies for us to take up. (oh that's something else - we used to do loads of scrapbooking).

Irritability - I am far more irritable than I used to be - I'm usually very laid back about things but nowadays I just get so cross if things aren't right. I think I'm irritable because of pain and exhaustion and generally feeling rubbish. I try to keep it toned down but sometimes you just want to scream with FRUSTRATION at everything going on...

Your grandkids will remember you for being great!!

Love

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Noise makes pain worse. Children = noise. Don't feel guilty about sending the children away. That's just the way it is. And the younger they are the noisier they are!
Luck, schmuck, I say (dourly). The fact is that if you're in pain, you frequently need it to be SILENT and DARK, and you must triage your energy. whether mother or grandmother, sometimes the best strategies are to have omnipresent help - the hired kind - or to visit the children, rather than letting the little precious ones invade yourhouse.
Sorry to sound like the Grinch, but children are a bottomless pit of need.
signed,
A Very Loving Mother (now guilt-free)
xoxoxoxox

Hey Liz,

I *SO* agree about the sound level of cinemas. Who set that, a stone deaf person? Certainly couldn't have been a normal human being.

I have a girlfriend who also has a strange condition (not RSD) and we try to get to a movie once every, maybe couple of months. We've cracked the problems, we wear ear plugs. Started off with the softer ones, but quickly switched to industrial strength...and that's fine. Still a little loud, LOL...

You are not alone,
all the best :)

Hi Everyone,

When I saw the word noise it made me think. I do get very upset when there is a lot of noise and confusion going on around me. It sets me right off. When things calm down and everyone has gone home, or I get to a quiet place, I feel better. Thanks for all the ideas and support. You guys are great!!!

Love,
Sue K.