I'm struggling
 

I just needed to make a new thread I guess. I've been struggling with this, too. I can't seem to start anything... too hard, too many decisions, agh, agh, freak out, oh no, stop, go away, do mindless stuff quick.... etc.

So basic update on current struggles. Just on self/health, not even gonna start on situational... yet.

I am having:

-- Bad depression

-- Bad anxiety (maybe depression-driven)

-- Stomach issues/can't eat much (maybe anxiety-driven)

-- Head cold/viral thingy


I just need a place to put my stuff.

okthxbai.

waves

And it is 29 degrees here, not 41. Stupid airport weather station.

Waves,

The malfunction of the stupid airport weather station is not helpful.


These are serious except we hope for the last . . . The head cold /viral
thing we hope will clear up with time. In the meantime of course, it magnifies the other issues.

The Stomach issues not being settled is bad in its own right and also makes the other less bare-able.

What can you do to solve the depression? Does it lesson sometimes?
Do you have meds for it?
Has the same depression been around for months and months?

Is it better some days or maybe better at certain times of the day?
Does it get better (or less bad) with certain actives?

I can send hope your way. I have hope that things will get better.


M

the depression
 

The depression is new...ish. I have certainly felt down a lot in recent months -- but there were reasons, too. I don't really consider it depression until/unless it gets bad. This is bad. 2 weeks is the cut-off for a Major Depressive Episode by DSM coding. I'm past 1 week already.

I see my therapist/ex-pdoc again in January. If it is still bad, I will see if he thinks I need meds or whether it could still be a "normal" reaction to very bad but unfortunately real things in my life.

I was a little better off today, but partly because I have been left alone. Really left alone. And this takes a little pressure off is all. I still feel bad, but I don't feel watched, don't have to answer questions, especially not about food, dammit. And I thought about going outside? Just to get about. See the pretty bits of snow left? Could care friggin less about the friggin pretty snow.

==============

Christmas was awful, was at it with mom all day. And yesterday finally had a melt down at her. She has been asking things over and over, about food, to boot. At one point she really fussed at me, "I need to know what you are going to eat...!" Seriously? When I cannot stick a piece of bread in my mouth without feeling it for the next 2 hours, I'm drinking baking soda just to stay sane on top of my prescription acid-reducers, and you "need to know" what I will eat? Geezus freaking please. I finally lost it, bad. I bellowed at her to leave me the hell alone, just leave me the hell alone, why can't you.... (repeat ad nauseum for like 5 minutes). She got mad or hurt enough to retreat.

As for me.... I cried. Alone. Without having to totally smother myself and hide, for once.

She has barely been talking to me. I made efforts today to be nice to her, and things have settled a bit, but honestly, I need her not to chat at me all the time, and not require decisions from me, especially not about food! I don't think it's so hard to follow the indications I gave her: "Do not include me in meal plans. I will forage in the fridge."

==============

I spent days bent double crying or avoiding crying, and shaking, and just feeling sick all over from life. There have been multiple bad peaks like that. I've gone out walking... in this cold I ordinarly keep up a pace... can't. I am interested in nothing. I watch zero tv, and have piles of recorded DVR stuff... more piling up.

Legs of lead. Heart of stone. Mind of mulch.

I used to differentiate depressions by quality. The hazy grey ones where the mind and emotions simply fade, and one carelessly becomes a wisp, at one with nothingness. The deep thoughtful ones, where a gentle sadness hangs softly over the heart, cradling it into a woeful sleep. The dark, heavy, murky, deep sludgy ones, where one wants to sink into a bog, never to return. The painful ones where desperation gouges a hole one's gut, and leave one crying for mercy, even to gods in which one doesn't believe.

This depression is all of them rolled together. It is the badass mother of depressions.

-- It is wispy and I feel myself fading.
-- It is softly sad and quietly weepy at times.
-- It is dark, sludgy and massive.
-- It is excruciating and desperate at times.

And while I'd not say it's mixed exactly, not inherently anyway, my reactions can get pretty high up on the irascible scale. Messing with me -- or even crossing me -- right now is a bit like messing with a wounded animal. I've nowhere to run, or hide. So I bite.

waves

P.S. I've adopted a new weather station but I can't show the time with this sticker.

irascible -- cool word for what you describe
 

Waves,


The Broken Record Technique is effective.

Even though you preferred not to have to use it and at a cost, you got what you wanted. I hope that she lets you forage.

This really sxxx, Waves, and you need to contact your guy. It is time to bring someone in to help you.


I am worried about you.

The crying: Waves, if we were close enough I would find a way to get you to the ER. What ever time line you said here and in the earlier post I feel is longer than you make it out to be.
Do the equivalent of the ER and get competent immediate progressional help.
As I have said over and over again (maybe not recently but it is documented here), bipolar/ mental illness/ incompacity is not a do-it-yourself job.
Reach out. Get a team.

Let them throw you a life line.
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-sport036.gif

M

Waves,
 

Thanks for the weather station.
It works.
We can celebrate small victories along with the not so small.
:grouphug:
Mari

No, please, no ER. Suffering yes, but not in danger.
 

Thanks, Mari.

Especially thanks for understanding about the screaming. I feel so awkward, and ashamed, and then I do that, and it is really shameful behavior, really shameful. And of course I feel more ashamed, and guilty. I thought a lot about how to change it. I am working on some ideas. I will try to channel people -- people who can respond better to those situations. But so far, impulse has gotten the better of me. :(:o

As to your worry. I am sorry. Maybe this will reassure you: I am not in danger of suicide. Not wanting to be, wishing I weren't, etc., that is different, and that is the case at times (not always). But I am not thinking about it or setting about making it so.

I already have an appointment in January. 2nd week, when my buses pick up. I do not feel I need to go anywhere before then, nor could I get an appointment any sooner. It's actually better to go a little longer. The horribleness really came on fast, and the severe part has been less than 2 weeks. I noted it near the beginning, in a dated document, so seeing it was keeping on, I was able to go back and stick that date in my migraine log (where Excel does the math). The appointment will be 3-4 weeks in. If he saw me sooner than that, the doctor would say to wait and see.

I'm not in an emergency situation, and even if I were, the ER is here perfectly hopeless for these things. They are hopeless unless you are having a heart attack or have a visibly broken leg, and even then it's like a box of Forrest Gump's chocolates.

Even though ER's in the US are more competent, I honestly do not feel I am ER material. The desperation might be what is scaring you. It is a feeling, a deep, cutting feeling, but it does not go anywhere and it does not cause me to do anything. I am helpless to it, but that, at least, does not stay. It happens in waves. If that quality stayed, I would have texted my therapist/pdoc by now.

I feel that I am stable, even if that stability is way, way below baseline right now. I do not know if it qualifies as "depression" (I kind of think so by quality) because of the sad events and difficult processing I am doing. In other words, how much of this is a "normal" reaction to heavy stimuli, and how much if any is pathological.

I'd think only bereavement could cause this degree of emotional ailing. But some of the news I had comes sort of close to that, in a way, and it came in a painful package to boot. (I will not go into those details here.)

Then there are other things, too. There was the shock of seeing my friends' successes. Their resumes, their positions, their lifestyles. Where I have not been comparing myself, suddenly, the comparisons were in my face. I was hearing people exchange offers and talk about jobs... I could barely follow what they were saying. It was frightening, and humiliating. I had to smile and make pretty. I made Candy Crush jokes and made myself even more ridiculous... if ya can't beat 'em, beat up on yourself. When I did talk about seeking work, some showed disdainful disinterest. Others seemed keen to help, but could not. They cannot reinvent my life.

But I MUST. I must do exactly that: reinvent my life. And it looks like I'll have to rebuild it from ground zero. I quake under that mountain of a proposition.

waves

i think it was a huge transition from spending time with your friends in the US and then coming back. that could be very depressing. i wish i could do something to make you feel better. you handled yourself well in the us which shows that you are competent and have good nonvirtual friends. that is so positive.
love you
bobby

Thank you, Bobby.

I do have good non-virtual friends. It was amazing to see that the "connection" with each of them was stilll there. Well, all but one, and maybe it was there, but tainted by bigger things.

There was a lot of hard stuff. A lot. And I really didn't process things much while I was there. I did some... and I did have some down days there, but there was a lot of socializing even just at home, and then later the kids. So I did have to take time alone, merely to regroup from all the human contact. And maybe I didn't quite regroup entirely.

I also slept with one eye open, and with the lights on, for 5 weeks straight, because of the bug situation. That's nights I actually slept. That is a lot of vigilance.

I guess many things about the trip, both good and bad, were ultimately exhausting. Maybe it was not such a good call to stay 5 weeks. I guess I OD'd. LOL. It sure didn't feel like an OD though. I cried a couple times just thinking about having to come back here. And that was not about my friends at all. The place feels more natural to me.

I don't know if all these things should be able to overwhelm me, or if one should feel this bad. Maybe when you add it all up... it's quite plausible. That's what I want to ask my therapist. We will see. Maybe I will feel better by then.

waves

Waves

Sending you some hugs.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thank you, so much, Donna. Hugely appreciated. Or should I say huggly appreciated. ;)

:hug::hug::hug: backatcha.

waves

Cold is grounding. Food is lacking.
 

Having a cold seems to be grounding me. Moodwise, I feel slightly better, but then the pressure is off to do anything at all because I am "sick".

It also seems to help my parents relate to me... they feel sorry for me now because I am "sick". :rolleyes: I feel miserable, but I actually feel better now with my stupid cold and food limits than I did Christmas eve and all of Christmas Day, what with the panic attack, the reprise of stomach trouble, and pressure to eat socially and be nice.

=============

I am not eating enough. Hopefully that will improve a bit. I am having fewer symptoms and sometimes no symptoms now, when I eat, which is encouraging. However I still get full after a very small amount of food, so I end up having about 4 "meals" a day that together barely add up to one dinner's worth of food.

I've lost 8 lbs in the 4 weeks I've been back. I am a bit concerned about the weight loss. I don't need to worry about being underweight yet, but another month of this and I will have to like, get protein powder and drink sugar water and stuff. Anyway cross that bridge. For now I still have a bit I can let go. I need my cold gone though so I can get about a bit more. Right now, I am underactive and really afraid of burning muscle. Need to burn fat reserves, not my muscles, if burn I must.

Burn out the day
Burn out the night
Can't see no reason to put up a fight

-- BOC/Burnin' for you

waves

Having a banana
 

Got hungry. Having a banana. This will probably be my last "meal" today, unless I stay up until 11 or something. The bananas are overripe. I hope someone else gets to the other two because I don't see them making it till my next fruit-meal. Maybe I will make frozen banana dessert for everyone.

Today's "meals":

4 pm ..... small slice of Christmas bread
7 pm ..... ~1/2 portion boiled salmon, piece of raw fennel
11 pm ... ~1/2 carrot, dry-sauteed, slice of cheddar w/ bread
6 am ..... banana (just now)

That's more or less what I've been having daily, in terms of food types and quantity. Need more veggies, but calories more important for now.

Cold adds:

--- lots of tea with made with decocted ginger water and honey.
--- The cheddar is not ideal but I have to finish it. There is just one more slice. After that it will be the yogurts' turn, as they expire on the 5th.

=====================

Sudafed is fantastic! :trampoline: :Dancing-Chilli:
However did I manage this long without it. I wonder if the compounding pharmacy can/will make me some.

waves

Food
 

Waves,

By my VERY rough calculations, you ate 350 calories.
(Christmas bread, 1/2 portion boiled salmon, piece of raw fennel, 1/2 carrot, dry-sauteed, slice of cheddar w/ bread, banana)

So a pattern is emerging.

I am a little curious about what you consider a "day" because for me a "day" has to do with the time I wake up (the real wake up and not the naps) and when I go to sleep.
When people have concerns about a toddler (and I guess it works for adults), they have little foods handy so that the toddler/adult can pick them up and eat them with out much thought throughout the day.
So keeping prepared snacks or meals in snack sizes out or easily available can work.
Protein-type snackie things in this case would be good.

You seem to be on top of it. Another month of 8 pounds down would be with-stand-able you say and that seems right to me because you want to go by how you feel. There are already a lot of feelings right now to make sense of/ deal with/ cry over/ fix/ . . . . This can simmer on the back burner while it is watched but not tended.

M

A place to put your stuff.
 

Waves,

It happened. It is over. Your "behavior" helped her understand what you had been saying. If you do not want to use "Broken Record Technique" in the future, you do not have to but it is o.k. to forgive yourself.
. . in other words, totally not shameful.
Not impulse. You are overwhelmed perhaps.

I am comfortable knowing that you have an appt soon.
I am aware that you are not in danger but I think you are possibly at a turning point OR a place where there should be a turn to get better.
I really believe that we should not be alone to decide on health matters by ourselves when we have access to medical help and such.


I will go with my broken leg metaphor for a minute:
If someone had a broken leg, we would not ask the person to wait it out or do home remedies. We would tell that person to get help as soon as it was possible. In effect, that is what you are doing with the Jan appt. THat is good.

Well, I am sorry about that and I am sorry that I used the broken leg as an example.

What you describe is major stinky. Sorry.


Lots and lots of hugs.
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug012.gif http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug012.gif http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-hug012.gif


That helps maybe --- in terms of thinking about how you feel.
So, maybe not something to "get over" but to "get through."

I totally hear you on that. Because I am there too.

I cannot talk to people very well because I have no life. Even with people at work, I cannot make small talk -- and thus cannot connect well. I have nothing going on to talk about beyond the minutia of today or yesterday. I am not even aware of cultural reverences because I am not reading/watching the same tv, news, or movies, or listening to the same music as they are. And that is because I have to "hide" from the world to protect myself and my bipolar.
The siblings "get" each other, but I believe that one degree past that -- to first cousins -- would put me in a place where I might as well be talking to a stranger. Actually talking to a complete stranger would be easier than talking to co-worker/neighbor/close relative.

I wish you had someone to help you not see a mountain before you.
It is a step pathway.

Or maybe the mountain is underneath you and holding you up/ giving you standing.

Keep posting.
Keep letting us know what is going on.
=======

I have to be up at 9:30 to drive two people to the airport.
If necessary, hubby will drive and I will ignore that he is freaked out about driving through the airport signage.
Dad can tell him to get in this lane or that lane for departures.
Maybe I will sit directly behind hubby and tap hubby on the left or right shoulder as he does not seem to respond well to verbal commands when he is stressed.

Take care.

M

Wow, I was thinking maybe 600-800. Don't forget the tea will add about 150 calories from sugar. The Christmas Bread is caloric -- the dough is made with egg and butter.

Right, exactly it. Currently, my "day" starts at 3-4 pm (that's "morning" :rolleyes:) and ends at bed time around 9-10 am... it mostly tends to push forward. Sometimes it seems like my circadian rhythm is like 25 hours.

When I start waking up at the parents' dinner time, I usually try to wrap around/stay awake through the day. Invariably I fail and my sleep pattern disintegrates: I go all over the map with arbitrary napping.

Regardless of sleep habits, for food/calorie purposes, I will always break time up into discrete 24-hour periods and call that a "day".

Most of the things I eat are in fact pre-prepped. Either they are left overs (the turkey roast that I was having in sandwich, or the salmon) or I prep them ahead of time. Yesterday I cooked an apple. Tomorrow I think I will make a julienne zucchini/carrot salad and either eat the cheddar with it or yogurt. There is also cooked ham and prosciutto. I try to have a bit of everything and go heavy on the protein if I can. Proteic things are harder, so I often combine them.

Withstandable but I hope not to go there. Another 8 pounds this fast would simply be too fast, even if it wouldn't make me underweight.

The appetite will theoretically start to increase as my stomach settles down. If it doesn't happen very soon, I seriously will try protein powder. (Blechhh! Fake food!) I wonder if they sell krill for humans. And I will talk to the doctor.

(BTW, good news... I got hungry again and had the nearly-half portion of salmon that was left. So add another what, another 100 calories? It was maybe 2 oz.

Agghhhh. Dad is up. Morning tea-time and blood pressure taking!

Yeah. Some really heavy stuff on the brain. That is really what I have the January appointment for. I saw him once already but talked about my friend mostly, and the difficulties with that. But that is background too, for some realizations I had. I wrote notes, too as it was important.... to do with confidence, self-esteem... and the basis perhaps for my lack of direction and motivation. Big, crucial stuff. So he will evaluate my "depression" too, in view of recent events as well as these daunting personal epiphanies. And we'll see.

For the stomach, yes, it's mostly an observing for now, although there is some tending in terms of preparing or thinking out possible foods to have. But mostly it will be an exercise in patience, I think, as rushing will only set me back.

waves

stomach/anxiety relationship
 

You know, I was also wondering how much these stomach/reflux symptoms are agrravated by anxiety.

A couple of things happened. Christmas Eve I had the panic attack. I also hadn't slept and never eat much when I am unslept. We had a light dinner, but I "felt" the meal.

The next day I woke up with a cold and took 1000 mg vitamin C soluble fizzy drink.

Now. I wonder. Maybe the panic messed me up. Or. Maybe that vitamin C really did a number. But bear in mind, I had been having a glass of wine here and there, on prior days, without any problem. I'd not expect the vitamin C do do any worse than wine! But... a possibility.

The other is that the panic threw me off kilter -- I know it messed up my breathing badly. I have read that anxiety aggravates reflux sx considerably because of the impact on the diaphragm. So I wonder. I don't really feel terribly anxious any more but I'm still biting my fingers badly so there's an undercurrent.

Oh god that salmon is seriously swimming around in there now. OOoops. :(

waves

p.s. Dad is now left to finish both the rose and the red coz I can't touch it! :(

oops
 

I swallowed a whole slice of ginger.

:o:rolleyes: :Doh:

I make tea/decoctions with sliced ginger,then I take the "used" slices and put them in my drinking water. It infuses with ginger flavor because it sits there a long time -- I drink other things. Mostly, I take pills with that water.

SO:

I had to take a migraine pill just now. They are small. I took a gulp of my water, and felt "the pill" go down. It felt kind of large, actually.

Then I realized the pill was still floating in my mouth with a bit of water.

What must have gone down is a whole slice of ginger. Granted it has lost most of its punch, but I just bit another slice from the water... it is still moderately spicy. :o

I have no idea what it will to do to me! :eek::o :confused:

waves

Waves,

I hope you are feeling o.k. :hug::grouphug:

M

It will most definitely stop you feeling sea sick. :o

It did not hurt.
 

Wow. Ok. I am ok. At least no worse.

I was bad off tonight. I forgot my first stomach pill today. :Doh:

I ate in the afternoon and evening, then started having burning sx and remembered the pill. Alas, it didn't seem to help. Neither did a piece of fennel, and neither did an OTC antacid that usually works well.

As such, I was really, really worried about a whole piece of ginger however "mildened" going down.

Lol, Lara. I so miss the seaside. It's possible that that ginger improved my nausea, but that was intermittent so hard to say.

waves

Today's food report
 

===== Today's food intake:

4 pm, Meal 1 ... smoothie with
-- 5 oz whole plain yogurt
-- 1 very ripe banana

7 pm Meal 2
-- 4 bites roast chicken breast
-- 3 walnuts
-- hunk o bread, ~equiv of 2 slices
-- 1 slice of apple

I drank regular tea today, so milk and sugar (1/3 tsp), not honey. 4 cups tea ~ total 22 calories in sugar.

That is not a lot of anything. :o

The smoothie was really filling though, and I should have waited longer to eat again. I was not really hungry but felt ok, and the folks were eating. :o Sigh, that patience thing. I can't have anything else "today" as I am still burning, and sub-zero appetite.

----------
Oh, and the past few days I've been dehydrated. I fixed that, and thought it would bring a few pounds back, but I must have lost more actual weight in the process: I now weigh in 1 lb less, well hydrated.

waves

Lara and Mari

Thank you both for your support. I felt very scared. And maybe it is illogical but still.

:grouphug:

Waves,

Very sorry that you are going through this.

M

Waves,

'Calories are circa 500.

Staying hydrated tells me that you are paying attention and taking care.
:hug::hug::hug:
M

Whether it was illogical or not is not relevant.

The feeling was very real.:heartthrob:

Mari

Sorry I made a bit of a joke about the sea sickness/nausea when you were so worried.
I thought it might help. :o

Ginger apparently reduces cortisol too.
Can also work as a laxative. It has many uses.

I've eaten almost raw ginger in stir fries. My favourite ginger is crystalized ginger. We used to buy it from China in beautifully coloured round crockery jars with lids. Haven't seen those in years.

I'm just glad it didn't get stuck and/or burn your oesophagus on the way down Waves.

Thank you so much, Mari, again.

You know, it is incomprehensible to me that things can go so far south for one missed pill, or a vitamin, or any small food event. I didn't get this bad even before meds. I had other sx, but could eat.

It really makes me wonder about an emotional contribution. Anxiety. Depression. I usually overeat when depressed, and I tend to eat a little less when anxious. However, just once, I did also have a doozy depression with food aversion. It was set off by a nasty antibiotic for a tick bite, but when the depression hit me on the tail of that treatment, it stuck.

Well, this is kind of similar. There is an existing problem, and the emotional stuff right now is rampant. I had been doing much better, and being good with meds and food. Then that stupid panic attack and Christmas...
:Noooo::Confused:

Oh, and with my cold, and the cold outside, I haven't even smoked this week! So that's one less aggravant! According to logic and modern medicine, things really should improve, not worsen!

:confused:
waves

Quite alright, came across very well... made me smile. :):hug:
Didn't know about either of those things. Wonder about dosages too though. Often you have to have a certain amount and chronic dosing to achieve such effects. I'm going to read more about this though. Thanks for the info.

Thanks, Lara. I also use it in stir fries, in slivers. I reminded myself, while freaking out, that I've eaten it raw before. (However I'd never do that when having burning feelings to start with.) I will eat ginger powder to treat nausea. I will also suck on a raw slice if I have fresh... and eventually chew it and eat it. Yeah, I was concerned about it being a flat slice and adhering someplace. It had most of its punch drawn out though. It should be ok.

Indian friends introduced me to what they called ginger candy when I was a kid. It sounds like the crystallized ginger you describe. Here we can sometimes find it done sort of that way, but in slices. :) I love that stuff.

waves

a language aside
 

Interesting that you spelled that with a z! I thought the Aussie preferred variants were mostly "ise" like British... is that not so? Or perhaps we are Americanizing you? :D

Aha. Did not know this (ignorance is limitless :rolleyes:):

http://grammarist.com/spelling/realise-realize/
waves

In addition to logic, consider intuitive body healing.

Things are going to get better.

Some things/ feelings will be released or slide into dormant mood so that you can feel better. :Heart:

M

Actually, this too is logical. ;):cool:

I had better work on releasing those feelings then, eh, and, in the meantime, perhaps try to contrast their effects, like with diaphragm exercises and benzos.

============

Thanks for listening. I can really spew, in general, but in the past months it seems I've hit record spewage levels. If only I could write for real.

I hope you can get some sleep. I am setting about doing a load of laundry and some handwash.

waves

You guys have some interesting conversations in the middle of night for
me. I should check in when I'm up.

Hope you start to feel more your normal Waves.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I am not well at all.

I am depressed, cranky and anxious.

Still not eating as much as I should.

I hurt my shoulder now too. Using NSAID patches because I figure I cannot take the pills.

Biting my fingers to the bone.

Worried about money and other things.

waves

dear waves,
can you tell yourself this too will pass? i guess it means that your medications aren't working. should they be adjusted? I know how you are feeling except for lack of appetite. that i wouldn't worry about. just think, you can eat fattening food now or later. i sound stupid don't I?
love
bobby

I meant to restart the benzo but I keep forgetting to take it.

Sometimes I've taken it. Other times I've been so exahusted I haven't, just because I felt like I'd be knocked out.

I do not tell myself this too shall pass. That's what I tell other people, when I don't want them to worry about me.

Of course it is true -- everything passes, including life.

I just thought I'd post an update. I am sorry it couldn't be better. It is what it is.

love

waves

p.s. I cannot eat fattening food really -- too filling/makes me sick. I have to eat things very plain, and priority is to get down as much protein as I can, to make minimum. Other than that I get a portion of veg and/or fruit, and that is important or I won't go to the bathroom. For minerals/electrolytes, too. Also it just so happens bananas are easy on me, so I have those often. And cooked apples. All plain though. And in between, starches because they are easy on me, but not much because I just can't eat much, so by the time I've got a bit o protein and a veg or fruit down... I'm full and don't get hungry for hours!!! Fatty foods are hard on me, and that's where I'm losing all the calories because I normally eat a good bit of fat. Some complex foods are ok (like the christmas bread was ok, thank goodness, but I could only handle small pieces of it).

Waves

Sending you some hugs. And this to shall pass thoughts.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm so sorry you've been having such a difficult time since your trip away.

I have read a lot on the forums about morton's epsom lotion and wondered if you can get it where you live? It sounds as if it's extremely helpful for aches and pains.

feel stronger soon.

Have you ever considered an Hospital Strength Sustagen powder? I think they make one that has extra fibre in it these days too. It can really be helpful during very stressful times on body and mind and is easy to take. It's not something that people should rely on, but very good for short term.

Thank you for the hugs, Donna. Right backatcha :hug::hug::hug: to help weather that horrible, horrible cold you are in. I am still reeling from reading those temperatures! :o

waves

Thank you so much, Lara, for the kind thoughts and suggestions.

I will google the Sustagen. I was thinking of looking into something of the kind if this keeps up, although I have started being very careful and getting very nutrient-dense food, so perhaps that is enough. I will go to the doctor on Monday for my shoulder anyway, so I will ask if he thinks I'm ok on food, or if I should take something like that.

The shoulder right now has a very sharp pain, and it's strong enough to limit movement. I think I pulled something. I should probably get an ortho referral, and I want to see if it's ok for me to take Mobic in the meantime.

I will check Morton's as well -- might not be enough for the shoulder but we could use something like that for other things.

waves