Afraid of hugs
 

Since my concussions last year and following PCS I try to avoid situations where I can bump my head.

A few month ago I met an old friend, that I had not seen in years. She saw me and came running and hugged me real hard. Her head bumped into mine.
My symptoms started up right away and lasted over a week.

Since that day I am afraid of hugs, no matter how tender they are.
This year I did not even invite anybody for my birthday, because I was scared of the hugs and kisses.

Some of my friends already know of my problem, but not everybody.
Yesterday a colleague from work (who works in a different town) came by my work and hugged me. It was so quick that I had no chance to say no.

His arm came pretty hard on my head above my neck.
So today I have symptoms again.

I don't know what to to about my hugging problem. Is there anybody out there having the same problem?

Thanks, Anja

Try beating them to it with a high five?

That sounds awful. I'm sorry your dealing with such head sensitivity. I tell my girlfriend to be careful when she hugs me. Luckily us men tend to go for the handshake instead of any bodily contact.

I am not suggesting this is the case, but maybe this is an anxiety issue? I know I've dealt with a lot of anxiety from minor bumps. I'm sure there are two sides to it with one being the bump and the other the resulting anxiety with both causing symptoms. If you can eliminate the anxiety about the hugs I'm sure you will be better prepared if a stray hug does come your way. This has at least been my latest approach as I think a lot of my issues stem from anxiety of further injury. It's a perfectly natural response but it has to be dealt with before it worsens and becomes a psychiatric problem like mine.

All the best,
Danny

Anja,

I tend to agree with Danny based on my experience. I am finding out that when I feel
My head now (it gets stiff and sore) I get really wound up when in fact nothing is getting worse because I feel my injury site.

I have been working really hard at telling myself and believing it that when it gets sore it is ok, it isn't going to send me into days of symptoms as in the past. It is silly sore like and exercised muscle.

This incident has been a real hand full to recover from...plays a lot of mind games on me that are difficult to overcome even when I know they are lies.

I don't know if this is your case but I firmly believe that anxiety is my major symptom now as opposed to physical pcs symptoms.

Bud

Anja,

I totally see where you're coming from. I get worried when people get too close to me nowadays. I've become a jumpy person who is afraid of any sort of hand jokes. Yesterday a girl put her head on my shoulder and I pretty much freaked out deep inside. I do remember I had anxiety about hurting my head after my 1st concussion too, and have had impacts to my head that freaked me out and felt like it made my symptoms worse. But I can tell you that I recovered 100% from my previous concussion. It took 7-8 months, but it was a FULL recovery. Wish you the best.

I have anxiety about this too. Just last Saturday, in fact, my friend tapped my head when hugging me. What is it about women and hugging?

I agree with what DannyT said. My fears of minor head bumps have metastasized into a serious, debilitating psychiatric condition. It's to the point where I'm not quite sure how much of my symptoms are PCS, and how much are just anxiety. You don't want to let this get out of hand. Realistically, when a person hugs you, they are not going to be moving their arms at forces greater than 10 g's. Thus, it is inordinately unlikely any impact will cause a new TBI. Anxiety can cause a relapse of symptoms.

I think that most of my problems at the moment are caused by anxiety. There is not a day where I don't get in a situation where anxiety flares up.

I have not found a way to get out of this.

Hi Anja,

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but I feel once we are injured in any part of our body, it's a normal reflex and feeling to try to avoid those areas from getting reinjured or flared up in more pain than we already have.

I used to be a big hugger, but since my last accident. I am also so worried whenever any one reaches over to hug me.
I'm always so afraid that they will hug me or squeeze me too tight .

My pain is so very bad already !!!

So, I decided that whenever someone leans in to hug me, I automatically tell them to please do it very gently because of my pain.

I was quite embarrassed to tell people that in the beginning, but letting them know before hand, lowered my anxiety about that .

I hope this helps you...

I am totally in the same boat - I am also afraid of hugging etc., and even if I get a micro tap, I ruminate weather I will have symptoms or not. But I am also having problems (although less and less) with high sudden noises close to my ear.

I think theese small events is an anxiety issue. I had problems with anxiety prior to my injury.

Are there any of you who have theese problems, who did not have anxiety problems before your injuries?

TheNorweigan,

Living where there are lots of Norweigans, I feel like I should read your screen name as Da Noveigan. Is that the proper accent ? Idaho is not quite like places like Minnesota but we do have a fair share. Good people to live with. I married a Swede.

Your sound issue is quite common. After a concussion, it is not uncommon for the startle response to be exaggerated. Add to that even a bit of sound sensitivity and such a sound event can be a struggle. Learning how to accept these as just startle responses and finding a way to get our systems calmed down can be a benefit.

Maybe you should read my post in DiverDown's I'm scared thread. We do need to find ways to get past every little issue that paralyzes our lives. Stuff happens but live goes on.

My best to you.

Hi Mark,

Well, I am a "true" Norwegian from Bergen in Norway, so I am not sure I can help you with the accent - in Norwegian it would just be Nordmannen:-)

I am trying to just let the high noises go, and accept that maybe I will get symptoms/maybe not and just move on.

The problem is, that I had a newyear-cracker landing next to me at new years day, and it gave me really bad hyperacusis for 5 days, so everytime I am exposed to similar noise levels, I get worried that the same will happen, or that my brain can not tolerate it. But I am less and less troubled by this, although diskoteques etc. are closed land for me.

I will read the post you mention.

Best regards

PS: I myself married a danish woman, but except for her I would say, that swedish women in general are among the most beautiful on the earth.

I think the concussed brain can develop a sort of PTSD from such loud startling noises. It can take a while for this sound sensitivity/anxiety to settle down. I don't think it is damage, just a startle response action. We become protective of the sounds as our brain considers them almost trauma.

I would expect exposure techniques would help. Watching fire crackers go off when you see them and expect the sound can help you brain put the sound into proper perspective. I know that I do much better with loud noises when I can see the source and anticipate the sound.

My best to you.