Intolerance to Conversations
 

Does anyone else experience difficulty having long conversations (20min+)? I find that if they are emotionally related or having to do with important or stressful topics, I will become overstimulated rather easily. It really bothers me because these are usually therapists or family members that I am talking with and they are supposed to help.

I am tempted to stop engaging in conversations altogether but this just doesn't come natural to me. I've always been a conversationalist and prided myself on my ability to use the English language. I guess that's another skill that I have lost.

Anyone else struggle with this or have any advice? These conversations generally involve me explaining my situation for continuous amounts of time before getting a response. Perhaps it's the process of searching for the information in my brain and then processing it verbally which causes problems.

If you need to do an extended monologue to explain your situation/condition and you do this from memory, that is a big cognitive load. I suggest you write things down so you can follow your list in a less cognitively stressful way.

I struggle to understand why the therapist needs wait so long before responding. It would be helpful to break this conversation into smaller segments.

If the therapist responds and is long winded, tell the therapist to break the conversation into smaller points.

For me, my response will be "Hold on/slow down, I can only process one issue at a time."

I have lived with this limitation for more than 13 years. I need to take control and slow the pace and intensity of the conversation. Otherwise, the time is a total waste.

If there are multiple people talking and they tend to talk over each other, I need to either get them to speak one at a time or I need to walk away.

Many people are more focused on hearing themselves speak that truly being heard.

Learning skills to slow down and organize a conversation can be helpful, especially when the goal is understanding and improvement in your condition.

I get worn out by conversations lasting 10 minutes. My BP goes up, I have trouble breathing and I have to lay down after. SSOOOO, I guess I do have trouble.

In your case I'd make up some kind of card, explaining briefly that long convos wear you out. So if possible speak only to me and state what the heck you want. :D :p :winky:

Lengthy Conversations
 

Hi Danny,

I often have great difficulty with lengthy conversations. Yes, it's more taxing to me, too, if the content is emotional in nature, or stressful topics in general.

I, too, was a conversationalist and did a fair amount of public speaking. Carrying on conversations day and night was not a problem at all. However, now I often feel overwhelmed, irritable, sometimes almost dizzy and cannot end the conversation fast enough once symptoms start, including headaches. I lose track of the conversation at this point because my focus has turned to immediately "escaping" any further stress.

Yesterday, my sister wanted to meet for lunch. I told her I could meet her, yet the meeting place had to be a quiet place. I'd suggested she come to my home for lunch; she really wanted to go out. We knew some of the places to avoid, yet still entered 3 cafés and left due to the very high noise level. We had settled on a place with a moderate noise level. It was still too much noise!:eek:

I do not understand why these dining establishments have music turned up so loudly, many people have to shout across the table to one another. I watch other people and they have difficulties hearing one another. I am hearing it all -- and ready to drop or run.

I used to call friends and extended family on a regular basis, in order to stay in touch. I cannot do this very often since my injuries. I cannot listen and process the conversation for very long. If people don't respond to the limits I have to set on time, then I just cannot get into a conversation.

I found it most helpful to give family/friends an article or other literature which helped to explain my challenges. They then can read the information when they have time and can concentrate. I have also had to write letters, explaining my needs if I could not find information already written.

I am just getting back to writing a bit more coherently.
It's been over 2 years for me. I sometimes fear these are some permanent changes for me. I am not sure of what to expect at this point and I try to not think about it.

I hope you are having a good day, Danny. :)

:grouphug:
DejaVu

DeJaVu,

What injuries are you talking about?

Yes, I find any conversation in noisy environments tiring. Makes me edgy and I have to get out. At least I'm able to socialise now so can't complain.

Hi Wiix,
I was assaulted in a city park and had sustained head injuries and whiplash.
The whole assault was focused upon on my head, from behind me.
2+ years ago now.
:hug:
DejaVu

Ear Plugs
 

I almost always have a set of earplugs with me when out.
I buy them in bulk.
I keep them handy in the house, too, as sometimes it gets to be too much just hearing someone walk around on a floor above me.

:grouphug:
DejaVu

P.S. Ear plugs and sunglasses are must haves.

Wiix,

This forum is focused on support for people who have suffered brain injuries and concussions with most experiencing Post Concussion Syndrome. It appears your primary focus on NT is RSD. Where-as you may experience some symptoms that overlap PCS as many other conditions do, most of us have a matrix of PCS symptoms with the psychological impacts that come with PCS. The progression and recovery process is usually unique to head injury.

Regarding conversations in public environments. I find I do best when I sit next to an exterior wall when in restaurants. A corner is even better. This reduces the directions where sound can come from.

OMG!! :eek: How awful for you. Did they catch him?

I've had some brain damage from a stroke I had about 5 years ago. My sight isn't what it used to be. I have trouble finding words and I am dizzy most of the time. So I understand.

Yes, my assailant was caught. Was determined to be "unfit to stand trial." Inpatient care in mental health facility. Eventual probation.

Wiix, Sorry about damage from a stroke and related symptoms. :hug:

DejaVu

A stroke is an ABI (Acquired Brain Injury) as opposed to a concussion, which is a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). The important thing is that both are brain injuries. The mechanism is different, but the consequences are often similar. You are a member of our little brain boo boo club. :hug:

Even though ABI and mTBI/concussions can have lots of overlap, strokes often have more severe dysfunctions in the damaged area with less to no dysfunction in the other areas. Some strokes can have symptoms similar to a penetrating TBI due to the localized damage.

Many concussions include diffuse injuries such as diffuse axonal injuries.

That is why concussions can have such wide ranging symptoms without a specific severe symptom.

True enough. With a stroke, it's location, location, location. My uncle, who had a stroke, struggles mostly with his speech. Me, with a diffuse axonal injury, has a bevy of deficits.

Back to the topic of conversations, I, too, get overwhelmed trying to talk/listen in rooms where there's too much noise and/or overlapping conversations.

However, my biggest communication issue is talking on the telephone. I will do just about anything to avoid a phone conversation. I just can't stay focused on a disembodied voice. In one way that's doubly odd because, being averse to eye contact, I rarely look at people when I'm conversing face to face.

Are any of the rest of you phone phobic?

Yea, I was wondering why I never answer the phone. I used to but not now. I just hate it.

As with many posters prior to myself, I too struggle with long conversations, particularly when I need to focus. Also as mentioned, meetings with counsellors/pyschologists/doctors/etc. tend to be very difficult and intense for me.

Just yesterday I met with a child psychologist for 60 min. I had difficulty focusing, needed to ask her to slow down, and sometimes completely got lost on what was being said. I also went through phases where I squint and my blink rate goes insanely high. When all was said and done, my mind was exhausted. It'll take me about 7 days of worse headaches and mood change to recover from this.

There was an interesting post on "mental flooding" recently (http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread224171.html). It's worth a look as there are a couple links that are fantastic and relate to this thread.

I agree. most appointments are exhausting. An hour is more than enough.
One of my specialists likes to go for 2-3 hours. It used to be "fun," as we'd both get to talking about published studies, possible studies, etc. Now, it's too much. I saw her recently and asked if we could go 45 minutes and re-schedule in order to continue. She'd agreed to this, of course.

I don't make phone calls anymore in order to visit. It's too difficult to stay focused. I lose track of the conversation and then likely seem disinterested. I am interested, yet in over my head as far as tolerance goes. I cannot converse as easily now. I feel very "duh" a lot of the time.

To our healing,
DejaVu

You don't seem "Duh" here. As a matter of fact you seem very "Un Duh". :ROTFLMAO:

:Funny-Post: :Thanx:

I am "un-duh" pressure. :D

Wiix,

I am getting better at writing. I have had great difficulty writing. I was too foggy all of the time. I had no thoughts, no reactions to something someone else might write, etc. I wasn't even sure of what anyone had meant in their posts or writing. I could not remember the beginning of a sentence in order to write the rest of the sentence. My vocabulary was very limited. Still is, yet improving.

I still hit huge walls and have to stop, as my brain shuts down. I try to find the cues to this before it happens.
:hug:
DejaVu

Danny, I doubt that you've lost the skill. Think of it as temporarily AWOL.
You're not alone. Sometimes it just is all too overwhelming on the senses.
I shut down when it gets too much.
In fact I have a headache right now from overload. It's that brick like foggy feeling between the ears.

I find it easier to write, too. It gives me time to order my thoughts, find words and eliminate repetition. I also don't ssssstutter on paper.

When it comes to appointments I, like Mark, write down what I hope to cover. I also take notes of what the other person says.

In casual conversations, I ask a question or two and then let the other person talk. People seem to like that. :wink:

Lists, Notes, Self-Management
 

Hi Hockey,

I am now constantly trying to remedy my new state of "disorganization."

Yes, I also use a list or an outline of what needs to be covered in appointments. Notes, too. I have an ongoing file of notes/info from each specialist.

I use lists at home, as well, or I will forget what I need to be doing.
I have found a dry-erase board helpful for daily reminders.
I also use a notebook for lists of tasks needing to be done and prioritize the list by "this week" and then "today" each day. I am trying to get over the sense of apathy and get tasks done.

I'd read a short and helpful book many years ago and still have it on hand. The book, The One Minute Manager, is written by Kenneth H. Blanchard. Ph.D. and Spencer Johnson, M.D. I was working in business management then and it was a part of our ongoing training. This book has been around for approx. 20+ years now.

Lists, lists and more lists. :D

DejaVu

Time Can Help
 

Hi Danny,

I feel Lara is "right on."

I had also thought I had lost many types of skills permanently, as recovery has dragged on. This was a frightening and a discouraging thought. I had gotten very depressed and still try to cope with the ongoing depression. I have, over the past two years, recovered some skills. (Originally, I could not even look at a computer screen and did not do so for over 6 months.)

Hopefully, we can have self-compassion to the same degree we'd extend to anyone else in the same circumstance. :hug:

I have found it helpful to truly take it one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. I still do this.

Warmly,
DejaVu

I have a bit of a time on the phone now...don't always answer, I call back when ready.

I can have a short string on conversations. If I can sense a lengthy one I will avoid the person or call, if not I usually zone out after 10 minutes or so, if it is family I work at staying present and can in most cases.

Bud

Wow this really struck a chord with the community! Another symptom that seems to be very common for those recovering from brain injury. It's an extremely frustrating one as I would like to be able to converse normally every once in a while. For some reason texting is easier on my brain these days.

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. It's nice to know that there's hope, even for particular symptoms.

I will begin making lists of information to go over at my appointments. I was doing that before but I guess I never really used them at my neuro (he's not the best) so I discarded the idea. I currently try to make to-do lists for my days to feel some sense of accomplishment.

Do you find that you need to lay down now more than before and do you find yourself unable to wake up so easily as before?

Wiix,

Maybe you should start a thread about your question so you can be more specific.

Hi Wiix,

Yes! To both!

I need short naps during the day.
I have interrupted sleep at night and a tough time getting up in the morning.
I keep trying to be more active during the day, hoping I will sleep better at night. Yet, I seem to be sleeping with one eye open at night, hyper-vigilant.

I don't know how much of my current sleeping disorder is PTSD, PCS and/or depression at this point. I am working on all of the angles, hoping to improve.

:grouphug:
DejaVu

Yes, Danny! You did a great service for all by posting your concerns. :)
I hope each day shows you improvement, in even some small way!

:grouphug:
DejaVu

Thank you DejaVu. Your kindness is truly appreciated. I wish you the best in your recovery. :)

I know what you mean. I went food shopping this morning, first thing, I came home and I was asleep on my way up the stairs. :ROTFLMAO: