feeling very lonely
 

hi. i usually post in the rsd section but have had clinical depression for most of my life. lately i've been feeling like the sicker i get the less family and friends seem to care and be there for me. my best friend who was my dog passed away in 2010 and i haven't been the same since. i've been feeling so lonely and then i got a chronic illness and thought i would have people who would care for me. but i sit in my room day after day all alone even though i have a family, i am still feeling all alone and really sick and really scared and really sad that my life has become like this. i miss my dog. i wish we were together again. and i have to stop typing now because i am starting to cry. sorry to be a downer. i just saw this group and needed to let it all out. thanks for listening to me about my depressing life.
p.s. i know some of my family cares but some don't and it really hurts alot.

You need a puppy. :o

Hi RSD ME,

When you have a chronic, painful, draining condition it is common to slip into the state of Clinical Depression. It is even worse when we suffer a loss and our families and Loved Ones distance themselves from us.

What I would suggest is to consciously try not to isolate yourself in your room, make time to spend with your family and tell them why you are making the effort. You may be surprised by the reaction.

Of course, you can always come here to discuss how you are feeling, or just to vent. We are all going through the same, my Depression is caused by life-long Depressive Personality Disorder, but my general Mood is regulated by the intensity of the pain I feel. If nothing else, it can make you feel better to share with peers.

Always here to listen.

Dave.

I know too, when I am naseus for days at a time I get very depressed. The doctors can't seem to find out what's causing it which affects my mood too. It makes me feel hopeless.

RSD ME, I hear you.

I can't offer you much advice beyond saying that when my MDD is bad (it is OK at the moment) I have isolated too.

I reckon that Dave (as always) has offered you some good ideas - for me baby-steps (having a mindful walk, talking with trusted friends and family members, listening to music that I enjoy, etc) can help.

With care and concern :hug: .

Oh gosh, I am sorry to see you over here but glad that you came to let that out and give it a voice. Keeping tears in is bound to be bad for one's health.

Living with pain and illness can just plain wear you out. That alone is depressing enough even without a depression diagnosis.

I second getting out of your room. I don't know your situation but I found when I was stuck on the scooter for a year I really enjoyed things as simple as sitting in my back yard watching the many birds that come to my feeders and birdbath. If you are an apartment dweller you can even get a window feeder.
Anything to shift your focus is good. Get adult coloring books, watch videos of baby animals, go to a movie if you can get out. Reach out to people and let them know you need a visit. It is easy to isolate too much. Even if it feels a little unreal, socialize however you can. Pizza at your place. Coffee talk?

Be kind to yourself. You are still lovable, I promise. Sharing your support to us on the RSD forum is a daily help to so many.

ooooh, I think a puppy would be great too...or a hamster. We're big fans of hamsters at my house, but we've had super sweet ones.

I hope you have a better day, :hug:

I got a baby iguana about 3 weeks ago. It escaped from it's giant cage and has been loose in the living room since. I've spotted her 3 times. The last time I grabbed her by the tail but she ripped it off. I'm getting closer to catching her and putting her in a more secure cage.

That's what's going on in my world. :winky: :hug:

The isolation from being disabled can be miserable. It is hard to go out and make connections with people when you are in pain.

Are you able to get another dog? I have two cats and a dog and they really keep me going...the cats especially can be so demanding. :)

I have Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome and Fibromyalgia from my Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. I have a TENS unit to distract the nerves and help with pain. I often wear it at night...all night. I also recently started taking Namenda for pain, but a couple of people on here said that they started it for pain, but it really helped with their depression more than the pain.

Telling your family why you would like to spend more time with them is a great idea....Just sending a text message inviting them to come by because you aren't well and need some visitors would be a good way to do this (even maybe to those that don't seem to care), then keep at it....so that they really know that you do want them to visit and visiting will become more of a routine for them. People will usually do what you want them to do if they know what is expected of them...

Dear friend
All you mention
Invaluable
To get a pet
Is absolutely a wonderful way to go
Unfortunately my dog is with my eldest
We got him as a baby
Silky terrier
A gosh darn awesome dog
Was my companion for most of his life
Except for the past five years
Since I found I can have a pet
With the condition I suffer from
would have no problem
I was so happy
Then my dog who I haven't seen in over a year
Sad I am when I think of him
But to help you understand the love I got from my animal
friend
My daughter needs him and my daughter Christine
went to visit him with my sister
a gave me a report on him
He has slowed fifty percent
His skin is dry and is getting
old
I am loyal to him and find
I cannot get another until his time
It just doesn't feel right

So from personal experience
What I would do to have the love
of my furry friends
The other thing is
I need money to feed the animal
And take him to the doctors
And the pay for insurance
No can do
Not without a job
Something I cannot do

Suggestion a positive
Thank you for the info on the drug
Namenda
Will talk to pain doctor
And shrink

The other thing
As someone who is
Isolated from the world
More alone I feel
For when I get a reason
and that reason is doctor appointments
The pool used half the time
compared to last summer
as the summer before
You bet I'm frightened at how badly I'm getting
I feel it happening
And my family does not get it
It is not okay
Yet I express the need of some help
I kills to do the things I used to do in a snap
would take all day
And to push through is not without excessive torturous
pain
I need help
And I expressed this to my family
Still awaiting for them to right their wrongs
I get it
You shared awesome stuff
Thank you
Love
Me

Hi RSD,
You are not a downer...it was courageous of you to step up and explain how you feel because there are a lot of us who feel the same.

As I read your post, I thought...wow, we have so much in common.
I am feeling lonely myself and my family seems to pull further and further away the more ill I get and
the more I need help....it makes me think.....geez, am I DOING something to make them back away or is it something else? I have a friend who suggests, they just don't know what to do so they do nothing.

I am forcing myself to get out and do stuff because here in the northeast USA it is fall and I always seem to get blue in the fall knowing the long winter is coming.

I am so sorry about your dog. Can you get another one? If cost is an issue, there are dog foster programs where they give you all the costs to care for and socialize a dog and if it turns out you fall in the love with the dog, you can keep it. But, you may have to pay the adoption fee although some places waive it for those who foster.

Or, if you can, go to the local shelter and get yourself some dog time. I am a cat lover and even though I have 2 cats, I go to the local shelter when I can and just play with the cats for awhile...it makes me feel good because they are getting out of their cages and getting some love and play time....makes me feel like I am doing something a bit worthwhile.

Or, sometimes, I go to the local park where people walk their dogs. I sit on a bench in the sun. I used to have a golden retriever....he, too, was my best buddy. Just last week, two people at the park had golden retriever puppies and they let me play with them so I got my doggie fix. I don't think their is anything much cuter in life the a Golden puppie....all fluffy fur and tumbling all around!
Is there a park you can get to?

I don't know what your housing is like but sometimes, in the nice weather, I just sit outside on my front steps or in my back yard and the sweet little boy next door comes over and hangs out with me. He is 8 yrs old and adopted from Russia. He had a very rough path in life, severe learning disabilities and Having a very tough time in school with learning and bullying. I have empathy for his di fficult journey.He will tell me about his day at school or something funny his dog did and then he scoots off.
I get so tired of TV, so going outside just kinda makes the world come to you and you get some sunshine and fresh air.

I know it is not family but, it is human interaction.

Like others have said, come here and talk...that is what it is for.

Just wanted to say I hear you and get what you are feeling.

Take care, Diandra

I can't sit outside because of the rowdy bunch of people that have moved in around me. I want to but it's just not safe. And I need the sunshine, I am deficient in Vit D so much that I have to take a supplement.

I can't really plan to go out for long periods of time because my stomach acts up so I break up what I have to do into small bites, multiple trips out. I get very anxious when I out. :o

i just wanted to say thank you to all of you for all of you kind words. it means so much to me to know that i have such caring friends. i am in alot of physical pain today but my mood is a little better. my brother is still struggling but i keep praying he will find his way. i get really depressed sometimes because i have been so sick and isolated but maybe i do need to try to get out of my bedroom a little more even if i am in pain. it's so good to know if have the support of my friends here (whom i consider my family now too). you have all given me the strength to face each day and have taken away my sadness because i know now that i am not alone because i have all of you here to lift my spirits when i am feeling down. thank you all again for being so nice. and i want you all to know that i am here if you ever need a friend to lean on too. i hope you all have a wonderful day today. take care.

Well, you'll be happy to know that I finally caught her, she is "tanked". :D She is not too happy about it either but I am the parent here. :p

I have had many, about 30, iguanas before and I know it takes 6 months for them to trust you then another 6 months for them to love you. :winky:

Took 3 weeks of not eating for her to calm down enough for me to catch her. She left a big, long doodie on the kitchen floor yesterday, that's how I knew where she was. It was just a matter of catching her off guard, just for a moment. She was on the window sill spying on the birds eating cereal. :D

I'll try to get a picture of her for you. :wink:

Thank you for the visuals; and the smile you just caused.


Gerry

Bad News!! She broke her tail off, almost the whole thing. She thrashes around in the tank so much she broke it right off. :( It'll grow back but not for a while. :( She is subdued right now, it must hurt. :(

I haven't given her a name yet. I don't even know what sex she is.:eek:

I didn't realize Igs were so complicated to care for -
https://www.google.com/search?q=igua...guana+care+101

A full grown one would need a room sized cage..:eek:

tail loss - http://www.iguanaden.org/health/tailloss.htm

I am bumping up the OP as this thread has gone somewhat off topic

RSD ME,
Thinking of you today and hope you are doing OK.
D.

Hi RSD ME,

Hope you are following through with trying to avoid isolation despite the pain.

Thinking of you and your brother.

Dave.

thanks again to all for your kindness. knowing i have friends like all of you makes me feel so much better. i don't feel alone anymore because you are all so awesome!

i did force myself to get out of bed and go out a little with my husband and son for my sons birthday last weekend. i was in alot of pain from my rsd and fibro but i took my extra pain meds from my dr and pushed through the pain.

when i got home i was really hurting but it was well worth it. we had such a wonderful day together doing a little shopping for my boy and having a nice dinner and cake (that i baked)!

i have been in bed most of the week since then recovering from the extra pain but it was worth it. and it lifted my spirits to get out of the house and spend time with my son.

thanks again for helping me through my depression. i still get low moments but with friends like all of you, they don't last long. your compassion has helped get me out of my slump.

RSD ME, it was great to read about the good day that you had with your husband and son and baking a cake sounds pretty cool as well...

I reckon that you should feel very proud of yourself for what you have achieved :).

Wondering about Gerry
 

I don't want to hijack a thread; BUT does anyone know what's happened to Gerry715 she used to post regularly but went quiet last year. I know she had a diagnosis of some sort back in August and potentially needed surgery but have heard or seen nothing since. Is she ok?