TIme to draw breath
 

I don't post much these days, but I do read....used to be called lurking on here..

I remember when I first stumbled on this forum some years ago and at first thought am I in the right place.....

Many of the good people on here had lost loved ones to suicide...and I was talking about my thoughts and attempts, I wasn't sure if I was accepted or understood.

I soon came to realise we are all struggling, just on different sides of the subject.

I,d like to think I learned the pain, my self demise would wreak havoc on the lives around me.

I,d like to think others accept and understand in my darkest times past and present I was I'll. And that was the sole reasoning of my thoughts and actions



Suicide is as taboo today as it was seven years ago....when I first started talking openly about it.
I still talk about... only this THursday in A + E

But guess what I went there because I truly just want the rubbish in my head to stop....I go there to draw breath, re group, feel safe, vent my spleen, and get re adjusted medication.

I see a psychiatrist two days later....who brings back hope it will pass and I crack on.

The recent conversations on here were very frank and IMO a bit heated,

Let's all remember, we don't live inside the heads of those who post on hear...we truly don't feel their inner angst and pain...
We can empathise but we cannot always fix or correct an individuals mindset. only that person can do that.

I have only ever encountered friendship love and understanding on here...sometimes tough love

Let's all rember on here we come here to share and support one and other, that's all we can do, some of our new members (and past ones) have other views on suicide....views some of us do not agree with.....but let's all for one moment stop and

DRAW BREATH.?...............

This subject is emotive...its sensitive....its serious....but let's be curtioius to each other. If we are ever to break the taboo...we need to talk rationally, and listen to understand.

Reminder to all posters though...the clue is in the name of the forum
SURVIORS of suicide

David

Thank you David.
Well said.
bizi

So only those who have personally survived a suicide attempt should post here? I'm not sure what you are meaning?

Outside of this question I fully agree with you. This needs to be a open discussion IMO. We don't need to be trying to shut down or shame anyone we don't agree with. As far as I know, no one knows with any certainty what is right or wrong concerning suicide. I fully support open and respectful discussions on this often taboo topic.

Posting as Lara... not mod.

icelander, I don't think David is saying that at all.
I read him asking for courtesy for one another.

I haven't seen members here trying to shame anyone or to shut them down. I'm wondering why you would think that.

What I have seen are dozens and dozens of posts by very caring and sensitive people who have tried to the best of their ability with the written/typed word to help others who appear to be suffering. What I have seen are posts by people who care. These people, all of them I call friends, have suffered such immense loss in their lives in one way or another that it has filled them with nothing but empathy.

Perhaps reading DMACK's post again may help you. He wasn't suggesting where people should post or not post. I certainly didn't read it that way. He's just asking for some respect and courtesy regarding an extremely sensitive subject.

It would be remiss of us as human beings to not try to understand or to help another who may find themselves in the depth of despair with life and on the very edge of a "cliff" when there may be alternative treatments or some type of help that might allow someone to feel better again.

Some of us know each other very well. Other times we really don't know each other at all, but if we sat here and told people to go away and kill themselves every time someone came here saying that's their intent, then there would be something very seriously wrong with us.

dmack
 

Well said.

I asked only because I didn't understand what he was saying. I had no preconceived idea as to his intent.

And I never advocated anyone telling anyone to go off and just kill themselves and I wonder why you would post that to me when I'm advocating for an open discussion? In my mind an open discussion means everyone gets heard and considered as long as they are not abusive. I see nowhere in my posts where I advocate for anything else. My statement about not shaming was not pointed at anyone in particular but rather a general reminder for us all to respect all POVs, including ones we might not like or that conflict with our beliefs and that was what I meant there.

:confused:

I was just replying to your question.

I attempted to explain that I didn't read it that way. I knew it was a question so was just explaining my impression.

You said

.

The rest of my message was a general message and not directed to you personally. I did respond to the quoted part above however (not very well obviously) to say that I didn't see that happening.

Any member can post on any forum here, as long as site guidelines are not violated.

This is a very sensitive subject for many, and we hope all consider how the typed words may come across to others.




In general, especially for these sensitive subjects...
Often reading twice before submitting a post is a good idea.

That's the difficult part. No matter how hard I try to be clear it seems inevitable some will misunderstand my POV. I keep trying however.

Hello Icelander

I used the forum name to draw all posters to the word survivor......

As I said at the start this forum way back in the past was aimed at those left behind by the completion of suicide by loved ones and friends...a place for people to talk.

Then over time people joined in, who had survived suicide attempts, and thoughts....

The whole focus was about Survival of this act.

About four years ago a very articulate man joined the forum and spoke openly about his thoughts on euthanasia.... he was very civil, but was equally adamant about his thoughts and no one would every change his view on life, or his own death.

I chaated and debated with him for some time, then realised....we had polar opposite views on the subject....and made my own descion to wish him the best with his life and I moved on with mine....


Stress is my biggest problem....having bi-polar....and I try like many others just to get by in life the best I can


I eliviate my stress at work by emerging my energy in helping others with their problems, I work with homeless people, many who have substance abuse issues, criminal convictions, and mental health problems.

I have done this work for twenty years

Do I tell alcolohics or heroin users to quit......hell no....I just remind them continuing will eventually kill them......I just offer alternative choices to live a less chaotic life.


My point about. The quote you noticed......

By deffinition survivors, want to survive..........when people talk of alternatives to that it can ...unsettle people.......
Maybe a forum on debating taboos might assist in this case.? But at present there isn't, one.....so at times we all need to be minfdull..that what we say can potentially be a trigger to others..

In the past people put up the trigger tag........then others would see this and not post if the subject was to sensitive to them.


Anyway thanks for your response and I hope I cleared up my perspective....

David

It's still called lurking my friend but I've sensed your presence. In the twenty plus years since our Michael killed himself, suicide remains a conversation stopper. I find myself a lurker more often, because nothing seems to work as far as educating people on the dangers to family and friends left behind.

We are so looking forward to the visit from our grandson and his family today. There will be lots of hugs and giggles with the little ones but there will be no mention of our son. ~heavy sigh~

Survivors we are
Yet I walk in circles
Wondering why am in this
terrible frame of mind
You know
The unspoken word
Pain=mental illness to present
"Itself"
As I run this circle every day for the past three years
How great could his "pain" have been
Because I just want to rip my shin off
and God knows what I would go for first
This brain
This being
Is having them thoughts
Never to act on them

My mind
My mind has its own on and off button
I do not control it
You would think I could
But pain is driving some charges to that button

I cannot help but tell it like it is for me

DMACK
you represent persons
such as myself
A recovering alcoholic
Of twenty plus years
One day at a time
Bam
I'm inflicted with turd
I have no control over
My Body
I a physician induced addict
Help put me in this dark place
Younger having a drink
I wold tell myself so I could be
calm for my children

Having pills that could take me out in a beat of this heart

Do I then remember
He took a gun to himself
I don't care how fudged up he was
How great was his pain
For me to get to think that for my life
Then the anger of the pain I still suffer
As running this circle is NOT where I want to be
Yet it's there every single morning
And the day moves on and slowly
I realize the pain I would cause

He had a choice
As I fight "it" everyday
And at the end of the day
I made a promise
I made a promise

And then my mind takes me to my children
All giving death a shot
Saraeve physician induced she is my epileptic child
My boy bi-polar recovering heroin addict
My third child angel dust addict entering re-hab
stopped counting
My seventeen year old recovering addict

My sisters both recovering

See a pattern

I am left talking to his spirit
As I call upon him to watch over the family
It's the least he can do
We did not ask for life
The parents I landed
I understand
Does it make it okay
Hell no
I know the truth
I cannot leave them thinking zippo

Elephants are a symbol in my home
Gentle giants
Thank you for allowing my ramble
Love
Me

:hug: Alffe :hug:

You did. Thank you. Sometimes the best path is to agree to disagree. Although I must say I find many things you post things I fully agree with.

did not know this! Have a great day!
love you bizi