We're not perfect...and I like that
 

Hello All,

I just wanted to share how much I appreciate the inclusiveness of our forum. We hail from many places and many backgrounds but share our struggle for health and wellness. We may not always agree on things. Sometimes we will in general be negative, defensive, irritable or easily upset. We are people with daily challenges. Sometimes this will come out in our posts. It is human nature to flub up on occasion.

Last week, I was a little overly frank about my opinion on study sample size. I could've handled it differently and maybe should have but I don't think the poster took it the wrong way, partly because of our posting history, partly because I think they understood where I was coming from and partly because we cut each other breaks. This is a good thing because you never know exactly where someone is at on any given day. Last week I was hopped up on steroids and under tremendous family stress (mentally ill sibling perilously close to homelessness and having a non-hospitalizable breakdown). I certainly didn't contain that all the time and in fact fell apart crying at my piano lesson because my sweet teacher was out and I had a really unkind substitute who asked me to play the same measure over and over again. :( I had the notes right but not the crescendo, geez... It was not a week I could handle that. I go to have fun after all.

I think it is great that we have a place where we can present the many facets of ourselves and our opinions (within the rules and relatively politely, of course). I appreciate that there is room for this and that the overall milieu is one of acceptance. This forum benefits immensely from the broad range of opinion and experience that gets expressed herein. The conversation is richer for having many voices.

:grouphug:

Well said, Littlepaw.

Dave.

Yes, Very well said. Even brought a tear to my eye.
:hug:
Alaina

New to this forum, but have been reading Posts. I agree, well said.

Well Said, though people are not benefited by a poster beating someone up just for the sake of opinion. Yes, everyone is human. And it is wonderful to cut people very appropriate breaks. That is great stuff. But this site can't be about taking it out on my neighbor just because I have CRPS either. Each of us is still very responsible for our actions. And it is responsible of us to hold each other accountable for what we say to one another. Otherwise it just becomes a little kingdom that everyone must bow down to or leave. And that serves no one's best interest.

Gosh, I certainly agree unkind behavior should not be tolerated.

Fortunately, I don't think I have seen anyone beat up over their opinion here. None of us seem to take anything out on one another.That would be terrible. If that were to happen I am pretty sure the group would correct it. Sometimes it is helpful if overt negativity is called out. Bashing anyone is not a good thing. I felt compelled to write a post reply once called "In Defense of Doctors" because though so many of us have doctor horror stories (self included) I just couldn't take the negativity on the thread.

This post is about appreciating all that we bring to the table and acknowledging that we may not always express ourselves as gracefully as possible. Hopefully what we bring is mostly good. But On some days it won't be our best and sometimes we may set others off or feel set off ourselves. I hope we always strive to treat each other with kindness because we all fight a hard battle and need each other's support. I'm just saying that no matter how far apart anyone may be personally I think that short of being ugly, what everyone has to say has value here.

Rain shower, Thanks, Hi and Welcome! I am glad you jumped in. If you feel inclined post a new thread on the general CRPS forum so more of us will see you.

Whatever brought you to us I am sorry, but we have a great group and there's always room for one more.

I hope you make yourself at home and we see you around.
Sending hugs, :hug:

Littlepaw,
You are a favorite. You have to know that your light shines brightly here, BUT for anyone to expect you not to be human and have bad days....that's just unreasonable. I for one appreciate the tone of your posts. You have a great attitude. You're REAL! No one would benefit on this forum if we were all guarded by fear and didn't chime in with our experiences, thoughts, or OPINIONS. You do an awesome job at making others feel welcome. I am really sorry for the hard times you are facing with your sibling, and everything else that weighs you down. I think empathy is a beautiful gift to have, and you possess it! This group would not be the same without you! Thank you. Love and Hugs, Jenn

Sent from my XT1028 using Tapatalk

awww! You made me cry and smile at the same time! That is such an interesting experience to have. :)

Thank you so much for the kind words. I love being part of this forum and appreciate so much that it is here for us and that it is such an accepting place where we can express when needed AND have a multidimensional exchange of ideas. Thanks too for the sympathy. My sister has been really struggling for 9 weeks and I am the one who can best deal with her situation so it gets pretty heavy on me sometimes.

You guys are the best, :grouphug:

Correct! Bashing anyone is not a good thing. If I see it, I will definitely call it out, even if it is done as part of a person's OPINION. Thanks for this post.

Everyone has bad days. What shouldn't happen though is.... One shouldn't go after another person and make them pay for a "BAD DAY" without apologizing along the way. That wouldn't be right. And Littlepaw has never gone after anyone, not since I've been here anyway, and I don't think she / he would.... not at least from what I've seen.

We also have a Report Post button (lower corner of each post - under the member info), we prefer that is used when there is a problematic post.
Reporting instead of an angry reply is a very good idea..:)

A PM is another option, to help clear up possible conflict or perceived conflicts, if you would like to try to work it out.

We prefer that any conflicts be worked out privately and not on the forums, and of course the Ignore feature is available if you prefer that option.

We all come here in pain with baggage. Some of us are in more agony than others and some of us carry heavy life burdens.

I grew up in a house where children were seen, but not heard, which turned me into a teen and then into adult who could not verbally spar. One unkind or off hand comment would hurt me and I would retreat to silently suffer, ponder and worry.

Posting online has helped me with my debating skills and it has helped me stand up for myself in the real world.

I may be the one who inspired LP to write her "doctor bashing" post, but it did not upset me. From all her posts it was apparent that she has had a healthcare journey diametrically different from mine. I also know that most people here are writing from a helpful and concerned space and that is the spirit I feel when I read their posts.

I agree 100% with what Littlepaw has said. I have always found your posts to be well-thought out and wonderfully worded. Sometimes dealing with life is hard enough without CRPS but when you add that monster to it is becomes even more difficult.

One of the things I enjoy most on here is the support everyone gives to each other. Sometimes I find it beneficial to challenge each other in a respectable way. Just imagine if we were all stuck on our ideas and refused to consider anything else. I have found some of the most open-minded people on this site and as a result I have tried alternative therapies I would have previously dismissed.

At the end of the day nothing can replace the feeling I get from this site. Just knowing there are others out there who fight the same fight makes life a little easier. :grouphug:

Thanks for this post and heartfelt comments..... Let me say if I have offended anyone by any of my postings I am sorry.....as mentioned when in monstrous pain things are jumbled in the brain but hopefully hadn't come across rude or .....:grouphug: I try my utmost to respect everyone. :grouphug:

I think it is wonderful that you feel better able to stand up for yourself because of your experience here. It is a hard thing to learn after growing up in an environment that didn't encourage it.

For the record, no one member is responsible for my 'In Defense of Doctors" reply. There is a whole thread about what is wrong with doctors and believe me I understand the frustrations. I have been mishandled, misdiagnosed and wouldn't be here if it weren't for a tragic surgical mishap. I know we need to vent sometimes. I just like to add a little balance and point out the positives. It is easy to get bogged down without it :wink:

It sounds as if we grew up in the same household. I too have always had a hard time with verbal debates and criticism. It wasn't until recently that my current group of friends have helped me break out of this shell that has kept me and my thoughts completely locked up for so long. I still struggle with it a little today, but I am better.
:hug:
Alaina

Little paw,
 

I agree with you completely. Unfortunately sometimes a newcomer might not be aware of the friendship this site has shown to one another. This might appear as "bashing"; which could be something as simple as mentioning "going off topic" or getting back to the original topic". This might cause them to do exactly what they are accusing someone else of doing; especially when many of us have been here for years and do not become judge and jury. That would be unfortunate.

Gerry

Hi Gerry,

You're absolutely right. Without history with members it could be hard to know how something was meant and someone might misinterpret. I can see how a comment as neutral as "off topic" could potentially come off as abrupt depending on where someone was emotionally, though presumably it is meant respectfully and is sometimes necessary. I personally wouldn't feel offended but rather somewhat guilty getting a note of re-direction like that. I always try to be mindful of not hijacking someone's thread which happens sometimes. (Often with good reason such as an embedded new member intro) but nonetheless...

It's nice having you back btw....:hug: