Wonder Thread 294
 

I wonder when the county is going to come suck up our leaves...we've raked the same leaves to the road three times, only to have the wind blow them back in the yard...I should name them!! :mad:

I wonder if we will get the predicted accumulating snow this week end.

I wonder if I should put the rest of the outdoor furniture in the barn. :cool:

I wonder if someone asks you what you'd like for Thanksgiving dinner instead of the traditional turkey, stuffing...etc, you shouldn't laugh when he says Tacos! Or she says Noodles Romanoff and you start thinking Chicken Pot Pie. :D

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room. :grouphug:

I wonder if Alffe knows she made me laugh at her Thanksgiving post. I have a friend who does cook Mexican for Thanksgiving. :)

I wonder if my brothers estate will ever get settled. it breaks my heart that things have become so "nasty" between my niece and nephew and their step mom. :(

I wonder about the long term effects of west nile virus. sigh....:(

Wonder when my cancer will stop coming back. Just got upsetting phone call this evening from my docs office. 4x UGH!!!!!!!!

Hang in hang on
 

Wondering if you can
Just not let the devil work on
you

Wonder if it to be a miracle that
come into your being

Wonder if the wave of love can be felt
at this terrible terrible news to get yet again

Wonder if you all can feel the love
I have for you all

Wonder if I can be a shoulder you can lean on

Wonder if you know
I am here just to listen and hold you close
As you and I and many suffer

I wonder now as like Dave
He too is having blood related problems
And I follow in his foot steps
with this new troubling unexplained problem
with my blood running through my veins and because of the
pictures I took and the look on his face
said enough

Wondering what the hematologist will have
to say about new problem as a clot can be thrown

Wondering about many things

Wondering if I may wish all a
HAPPY HEALTHY FUNNY HAPPY FUN LOVING DAY
EVERYDAY BUT ESPECIALLY ON THANKSGIVING

wondering if we can remember all who have passed
For our freedom
And look at how we are living

Wondering if my love is felt

I wonder if eva knows that I feel the love...:hug:

I wonder how on earth the people across the street managed to get a new roof put on in two days....ice and fog..first the roofers had to shovel 6 inches of snow off :eek:

I wonder if dancing lady knows that I am sorry..cancer is a monster!

I wonder if goofy knows that families are so interesting...and at times very stressful :confused:

I wonder if I can leave hugs for the room. :grouphug:

I'm not alone
 

Wondering if it is the constant
continual return to neurotalk
keeps my Spirit alive

Wondered many times and swore I was
the only one going through the things I am

Wondering if one might think of
helping another
to get out of yourself

Wondering if my mother thinks about us
her children grandchildren and great grandchild
While she has the holidays with her live in ex husband
and his four children and family

Wondering if my sister is feeling lonely
A single fourty seven years old and will
have a full hysterectomy due to cervical cancer

Wondering if my other sister in the hospital with an infection

Wondering if her alcoholic and heroin riddled body
Who had a liver transplant and drank the day he left the hospital
brought the drugs to my sisters home and introduced it to her
as the ultimate pain reliever
A recipient twice with fusing her right hand and wrist
then lower back

Wonder if she will fall hard
As her husband is in the hospital with failing
kidneys
Liver team drop him from their care

Wondering if these fingers and feet will ever
let up

Wonder if doctor Kevin Tracey of neurology
Based in NYC in my backyard
Has the ticket with his promising
study on inflammation
The beginning and sign something is wrong
Wish I was one of a handful in his study
One unnamed person cured of ailment

Wonder if the weather change will happen quickly
And life for the trees animals fish birds feilds of grain
will deteriorate at a mega speed
Watched "extinction"
Chinese have refused the shark fin soup
when a commercial from this T.V. Special
Of a shark left at the bottom of the ocean
Unable to swim
It had NO fins
So saddened when I seen this

Wondering if I could share a hug with all of you

Thanks
 

Ever wonder how we get through some of the stuff
We are subjected to

My boy thirty two had a heart attack in the hospital
today and survived

Wonder if I made the impact for the better in my family line

Wondering what he is thinking

Wonder about the adversities

Wonder what it takes to shape mold and become who we are

Wonder what my travels thus far means

Wonder how the heck I made it this far alone

Wonder if Father almighty hears my prayers

Wondering what baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph
We're feeling on this very special day

Wondering if the end is near

Wonders of His love

Wonder if today will be somber with Michael in the hospital

Wondering what was going on when he said he couldn't shake
off feeling sick

Wondering what would and could have happened if he didn't go
right to the hospital

Wondering way more then I'd like

Wondering if I can say
Merry Christmas

:hug:

Wondering about how much you have had on your 'plate'.

Sending thoughts for a speedy recovery for your son... so young!

take care there... next year has to be a better year for you hey?!

Wondering if I can Truly say thank you
It has been a heck of a ride most my life

Wondering if I can say merry Christmas to you and you're

Wondering if our brother the Son of God Almighty
Knowing my heart and his awesome strength
was the one carring me when I just couldn't many
times

Wondering if I can help others understand I have been blessed
by the presence of the Spirit and understand this is my life's path
and wouldn't have it any other way

Wondering except for one thing
My body failing me

Wondering if I can take it one moment at a time

Wondering if all woke in the Spirit
Many suffer depression and follow thru on their
fatal attempts

Wondering if they have someone to love them
See here I go on and on

Hmmm.... I wonder???
 

I wonder if anyone here remembers me???

I wonder that it's been since May that I was around....sorry about that folks.

I wonder if you know that school has been kicking me hard in the back side.

I wonder if I can say that I have just 3 classes left....and if things go right I will graduate in May.

I wonder if I can ask for you all to keep your fingers crossed for me and if you pray... say a little prayer for me, I could use it, as this is supposed to be my hardest semester yet from what I am told by my advisor.

I wonder if you can hear me screaming ARGH!!! :eek:

I wonder if you all know that I do think of you all often and wonder how you are all doing but I just don't have the time to log in here.

I wonder if you know how much I miss you all too??? :grouphug:

Well I wonder now that it's time to once wander away and hopefully be able to wander back before the start of the semester to once again check in.

:hug: to all, old and new.
Abbie

Very nice to see you :hug:

I wonder why my aunt and sister couldn't send me a text to say, "Merry Christmas" even though I left them voice mails...
I wonder if they're punishing me for my s/s attempt last year.

I know this isn't a "wonder," but I'm sorry about your son Eva. I hope he gets well soon.

I wonder about Hippiechick.

so glad the holidays are coming to an end. heres to a new year, new beginnings, and a new normal. :grouphug:

where does it all come from
 

wondering how many tears have i cried in my lifetime

wonder if i could find a way to keep a happy mood going
they are so short lived

wonder if in this year i'll have a very special someone to love
and be loved in return

wonder if my daughter will have a better year
conquering her addiction and not be sucked into the abyss
she has a child who is waiting

wondering if my father is at peace
in his afterlife

wonder if sadness and depression can be eradicated
with the understanding it is part of this families history
and it is okay

wondering how all are holding up

wondering if i can say thank you for having a place to come to

wondering why my sister is having some complications
after having a complete hysterectomy
a possible bacterial infection
the hospital called her
and she has diarrhea

wonder if it will subside in less than 48 hours
if not directly to er

wondering if my eldest will not have anymore complications
she too will have a procedure to relieve a kidney stone that is lodged somewhere i cannot pronounce

wondering if i'll ever stop wondering

Oh how I....
 

Will not stop wondering at the love in this place

Wonder at the many needs and whether blessings might abound

Wonder whether cancer, depression, hurts and pain might be banned from all

Wonder at my own absence as Abby does her own, along with a dose of hope for her schoolwork

Wonder about those Alffe tacos......since I am so fond of Hispanic food

Wonder as I wander at this time of Epiphany about miracles and what they mean for us

Wonder at the blessing I know because my SCS stim is still reliable

Wonder whether I, too, may leave hugz :grouphug::hug::grouphug:

Wondering
 

how it can be done

Wondering when I can take a deep breath of relief
everything will be taken care of

Wondering if I can help her see it isn't over
it is the change that needs to be made

Wondering what the heck is wrong with the medical community
and the responsibility of dispensing medication that can kill so blatantly no reguards to addiction

Wondering when MENTAL DISRUPTION TO ONES BRAIN will be taken seriously

Wondering why I do not see any improvements in the hospitals in my neighborhood

Wondering why all talk no action

Wondering when MY doctors will get their turd together
something underlying is going on
Scratch head
Scratch head
Scratch head

Wondering about the wondering
I could go on forever

Wondering if the day will be calm
while it is week three the fibromyalgia
on back is out of control

Wondering if this feeling of being burned will just stop

Wondering if I will ever be able to let go of the mistakes that were made on this body

Wondering how it will be five years from now

Wondering if happiness could last a little bit longer

Wondering if my depression will ever be lifted
as it is part of my daily routine
Fighting it off every morning
The tears I cry every morning
The pain I suffer every single moment
of my waking and in sleep mode will I one day
Snap

Wondering

Just

Wondering

Wondering

Wondering if Eva knows I'm thinking of her today :hug::hug::hug:

wondering if you knew
i needed that
thank you
love
me

So "wondering"
 

Wondering how doctors get away with deplorable behavior

Wondering if God the Father can see and feel my determanition

Wondering if this be the winning items to help strengthen my body and it is fact I have a deficiency that a body needs to work at its best

Wondering how my shrink is feeling when I called and told him
I will no longer be seeking his services for his remark was it being so dubious and most importantly how the work required
by insurance law say "your asking us to do tedious work for you"

Wondering why he has call in the last two days as I will not pick up the phone

Wondering if my words are screwing with his head
as I stumped him in my abundance of research

Wondering if the company that I await central time and speak with someone directly at the manufacturer

Wondering in the end if I will ever get a chance to try this very expensive vitamin that needs a script and an explanation why my insurance should cover it

Wonder what my shrink is thinking when I told him
"Why won't you let me be the judge of it"
It's my body

Wondering how long it is going to take to finally not be a slave to Xanax hoping for it to be replaced with this vitamin

Wondering why the luck in my lifetime has been miserable

Wondering why I have to fight for a vitamin

Wondering if the withdrawals will be mild

Wondering will I ever have something this important
come to a resolve

Wondering why I'm visited by this gut depression
that manifest physically in my gut

Wondering why I have to fight for eve thing that is right

Wondering what is wrong with this country

Wondering why nobody will listen and see the bigger picture

Wondering how to not be depressed

Wondering how can he live with himself

Wondering if I left him thinking and NEVER FORGETTING ME AS MY NEUROSURGEON FAILED ME AND MY BODY

Wondering if the doctors,FDA,pharmaceutical companies,
insurance companies who are killing me
and so on

Wondering if all my work over the years made a difference

Wonder if I will ever feel happy in my gut

Wonder

Just wondering about me

wondering if i can leave Eva a {{{HUG}}}}

Wondering the same thing

Got it
 

I needed that
Love
Me

And...
 

That goes for you too
Love
Me

Wondering if Eva knows I admire her for wanting to try to replace xanax with something that maybe less harmful and less addictive…
Wondering if Eva knows how difficult and scary a proposition I know that must be...

Wondering if Eva knows how proud of her I am for standing up for herself and fighting for the right to do that…
Wondering if Eva knows how hard that is for most people to do.

:hug::hug::hug:

Wondering together
 

Wondered if I can say
How incredibly spirit filled i feel I
reading what my NT support comes form

Wondered if I can say
How empowered I feel
WITH the little help from
my friends

Wondered
Oh what a beautiful place
Thank you for sharing

why me
 

wondering if it is okay
to ask why me

wondering wasn't it enough for one
to endure fighting a fight

wondering why can't it feel good when doing
the right thing

why is my life filled with so much adversity
i don't want anymore suffering

wondering
if i want to hang on anymore
nobody is listening

wondering why
i get in pain and adversity
we grow

wondering
if i want to hang on anymore
nobody is listening

Wondering if you know that we are listening

Wondered if I could share
 

Wondered if I could share some good feel news
with my friends

Wondered if I would be called or thought of as a hypochondriac
as doctors just do not care

Wondered if I could share I am feeling upbeat with some changes that are happening in my body because of my MTHFR MUTATION
and am on supplements my body was depleted of all its life

Wonder if that last one was long winded

Wondered if I'm appreciated by my family

Wondering why my sister is calling me
after the blowout over me my dell bill and a computer for my nephew

Wondering now because she had the laser surgery done years ago
She was near sighted
When the craze was no glasses anymore
With no consideration when one hits their forties the
loose the ability to read(far sightedness
ALL COSMETIC PURPOSES
just it was brandy new
It was considered corrective SUGERY
Is now blind in right eye
And is having emergency SUGERY
Retina detached and is hanging on a thread
needs my comfort
As mom is not interested
I listened
Never asked how I was doing

Wondered if I could share I do not get visited by doom
after a good night of sleep

Wondered if I could share how important it is to eat your meals in the day

Wondered if I could share my bathroom routine
is not in pain

Wondered if my child Christine who also tested positive
Is also going to be put on supplements

Wondered if people know that more than 50% of the population
has the MTHFR mutation

Wondered if I could share my mechanical is still very much present
and alive
But with a different frame of mind

Wondered if I could share
My experience is so exciting
I almost am afraid the rug will be pulled from under me

Wondering if I could share
Not to give up on oneself
And how IMPORTANT IT IS TO HAVE "ONE PERSON"
They could talk to when considering taking ones life

Wondering if my father was afflicted with the same
As this is a genetic let down and if positive 99.999%
of your offspring will test positive

Wondering how much more ones body being afflicted by
GENE MUTATION of any kind
Talking about "right to the source"

Wondering if I will ever see my dog
I miss him so much

Wondering if I could share
My heart misses him so much
And understand my tears

I wonder if i can express
Xanax in the latter part of my life
as I have been on them by my cardiologist in 1995
That's a long time
Kicking my butt
But doing it

Wondered if my happiness however
like
Is this is going to go
and do not want to loose hopefulness
And my message is
To "be proactive" about your body and mind
Do not give up

Wondering if I could leave humbled
And understood
All with the love of information
Love
Me

I wonder if eva knows how happy I am to read that there is some definite improvement in her life...

I wonder if eva knows that I will continue to pray for her well being...:hug:

With much love
 

Wondered the same
in return

I wonder why we can be so dependent on computers.
I wonder why mine just gave up and it's been in the repair shop for 8 :eek: days. I wonder why I missed it so much. I went to the local library and borrowed one theirs every evening but I still missed mine.

Wonder when have time to turn compost
 

Wonder how many dozen squash we ate last year that grew from compost, leaves, and pine needles?

I see potatoes and squash starting in the compost this year, I wonder what else will grow?

I wonder why trash cans that are ready for the trash make such good compost heaps?

I wonder what Alfe can weight down leaves with to make compost?

Would an old kiddie pool make a good compost bin?

Would food grown from compost keep our cancers away?

Does your local Starbucks give free compost?

Why is compost so smelly in the kitchen when no one wants to take it out?

Can we draw parallels to our society from compost?

Is compost sustainable?

How can you do compost if you don't have a yard?

Does your truck's backup sensor beep for compost?

I wonder if tied knows that she made me laugh, think, and wonder a lot!

I wonder why nothing ever grew from my compost pile but it did make great soil

I wonder if I turned it over too much

I wonder if I should have put more garbage in it instead of egg shells, coffee grains, banana peels, leaves paper and water. :wink:

Remimbering
 

It was something I loved to do
It my parents house
I wonder if the yard is still feeding the owners

It was tedious work
But soooo relaxing
In the early morning when the dew
atop the leaves
Wonder if the rows of roses
Surrounding the whole back yard
are still alive

Remembering weeding to music
Reaping the rewards of the
Food it delivered
All vegetables the peach tree my father planted
The wine grapes
Wonder if any of that still lives

My children had good times
As did I
After divorcing I rented the first floor
And we lived there for 12 years
Wonder if my sister know how helpful
It was to watch them as I worked nights

Wonder if I can say
Thanks for the GOOD
Memories

I wonder if Eva knows how much I enjoyed reading her memories

I wonder what key I pressed to make this type slant...:o

I wonder when our tree man will finally come to dismantal and haul away our hot tub....

I wonder when he'll pick up all the logs in the yard....

I wonder when Mr.Alffe will tackle his man cave...our house will never sell looking like that!!

I wonder when I can improve my attitude about moving....:(

I wonder why the birds are fighting...oh wait, I know. :D

I wonder where Alffe is moving to???? :hug:

I wonder about the unfairness of insurance companies. :mad:

I wonder at how excited I am that we get to go hear my son sing Easter Sunday morning. He was asked to be a guest singer at a church in OKC, and they are paying him!!!! :sing:

I wonder if i can leave hugs and prayers for my friends here.
:grouphug:

I was just wondering
 

It is thirty six years today my father killed himself
in or second family ford white station wagon

Wondering what is up in the afterlife

Wondering if any regrets

Wondering if he knows I am not okay with what he stole from me
when I was a little girl

Wondering what my mother is thinking

Wondering g if my sisters are alright today

Wondering why it had to happen around the block from our home

Wondering if my uncle is thinking of him and him not taking it seriously because he cried wolf so many times

Wondering if he felt I was ready to confront him with what he did to me

Wondering how a parent can look at their children
CHILDREN and abuse them and strip me of my
natural process to womanhood

Wonder what happened to him to have become that monster

Wonder why my mother turned her head the other way

Wonder why my mother still wants a relationship with me in
secret

Wondering what ever happened to the note

Wondering if she kept it

Wondering what was going through his mind

Wondering what he looked like when he was found by municipal
workers collecting garbage

Wondering what is going on with my boy
He cut his ties with me
Have no clue why
But was born on this day
His birthday

Wondering how things got to where they are now

Wonder if he know I am done trying to keep us together as a family

Wondering if to much time goes by
If I will want them to even bother
One just gets used to the way it is
I have no control over him
Never did

Wonder if my lineage will die out

Wonder if I can hang on long enough to
see things work out with everyone

Wondering if I will ever experience
Love
For a partner in my life in the end
to be happy with

Wondering if my father regrets any of it

Wondering what devestation has come to this family
Over and over and over again

Wondering if I will ever meet him again

Still wonder
Why

I wonder if I can leave eva a hug...:hug: Some anniversary dates are the pitts!

Wondering if anyone would mind if I can respond without all the "wondering"?

I often wonder how my family members are doing or what they are thinking of on the anniversaries of family members' deaths or on their birthdays. These occasions stir up memories- good and bad. A suicide is much worse. One reason is the lack of closure, and you have many unresolved issues with your father :hug::hug::hug:

I can't imagine how it must feel to have to live with the conflicted feelings you must have about your father and his suicide… even after 36 years. I understand your mother had a difficult life, but it must be so hard to make peace with the decisions she made and have any kind of relationship with her :hug::hug::hug:

I am thinking of you, and hoping you are doing okay dealing with the memories surrounding this life event :hug::hug::hug:

I'm so sorry that you're still struggling with issues with your children. I don't know the specifics, or the extent of the problems, but it seems to me like you love them and really want them to be part of your life. You can close the door part way because their behavior right now is hurtful and you need to protect yourself, but leave it open a crack so they have an opening to get back in when the timing is right :hug::hug::hug:

I wonder if you realize you are still young Eva…
I wonder if you know there is still time for change

I wonder if you know I am hoping for good things for you because you are due :hug::hug::hug:

Jeez
 

It so wonderful to not feel alone in this time of growth sadness and defiantly change
I pray only for the better
I am wiser and as hard as it is
I have begun to put my foot down
No more pooping on me
Thank you for the comforting words
They did the job
Yesterday was my eighteen year olds birthday
Spent in her chosen place not to hear from her
It hurt
It really really hurt
I do love them way overboard
Just do
Love
Me