Saturday
 

Our cleaning woman is coming Saturday at noon.


Also my girlfriend wants me to go somewhere with her so I agreed on the
condition that we also go to Whole Foods.
Whole Foods recently expanded
their cramped store or built a new one (not sure which) and I need a few items
that I cannot get on-line or in my neighborhood.

Sometimes the cleaning lady is tooooo much energy for me so it is good that I will be away for the afternoon.
My friend is annoying as heck, BUT most of the time she knows how to keep me calm:)

I do have to clean a little bit tonight for the cleaning lady.:p

Mari

good luck today!
bobby

I hope you have a great day!
bizi

I hope you're having a good day today Mari and you're friend is being more calming than annoying.

I would probably clean for the cleaning lady, too. ;)

The place is clean.:)
I fell asleep on the couch and cleaning lady woke me up to let her out.
She is coming back in 3 weeks -- the day before my parents get here for a three day stay at a nearby motel.


With friend, the first thing I did was to announce what topic we were not going to discuss (the multi-dx'd niece that she has been consumed with saving).
We had a quiet day :rolleyes:

You are awesome mari.
bizi

It's good to set limits, even better when someone respects them.
I'm glad you had a nice quiet day. :)

I bet you're glad your parents are going to be staying at a hotel...

I'm so glad to hear you told her not to discuss that.

And had a quiet type day. That is good.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I saw in my email that there is a b.s. meeting at 11:00 today.
I am not going.

I am feeling majorly yucky lately -- worse than I have in a long time.

M

I am sorry that you are feeling yucky.:(
be kind to yourself.
The holidays are approaching quickly and so is your visit from your parents. Is your dad still having you go thru some "book" or other writing materials/work that he is doing?
I hope you get some sleep today.
bizi:hug:

i am sorry you are going through this. i wish there was a way you could be kind to yourself
bobby

Good for you for blowing off the BS meeting.

I'm sorry you are feeling so miserable, Mari,
I hope you start feeling better soon :hug::hug::hug:

last two days were hard. today I am home to sleep.
 

My past two days busy and barely able be awake


Wed early afternoon went well because I was carried along by the energy of others.
Later, for the next event, I was confused about where I was supposed to be -- sat around waiting late afternoon when I could have driven home.

===========



Thurs a.m. I did not know how I was going to make it with little sleep except it was the last big day . . . . and that later days would be easier.
I went to a meeting that had a specific out come that was important to me.
Everyone was weird.:confused:

Then a colleague I do not usually work with showed up and did the "heavy lifting" and I was so relieved and so happy. :)
Afterwards, she and I laughed and talked a little.



Later in the afternoon Thurs, I bought some snacks for myself and others and hung out mostly by myself and reviewed to prepare for the next meeting.

For that meeting, all of us were bone tired and got through it anyway. It was good when it was over.

Lastly and way after dark, I cleaned out Work Buddy's office. He still has crap in there so twice a year, I take out more stuff. I threw a small book shelf's
worth of books over a 2nd story railing.
When I went down the stairs later, I piled them up near the garbage pail --- probably against some rule about how one takes care of garbage.


==
I keep my space perfectly organized and reasonably clean, and, because I spend time in his office and see his space as an extension of mine, I need his office to be reasonably clean.


It is good fung shui that my spaces "make sense" to me and a twice a year ritual to throw out stuff. :cool:

M

Wow, It sounds like you've been super busy, Mari! I'm glad you were able to get through it all with a little help from others.

I this means you get a little time off after all of this and some much needed sleep :)

Glad that you got thru the meetings little sleep too. Now you cn really sleep! Here is wishing you wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Having a hard time today with email and stuff.

Angry. Feel like I could hurt stupid people, any people.

Forgot what it was like to sleep.


M

I hate dealing with stupid people... sometimes it takes every fiber of my being to hold my temper and not tell them to **** off. I think I need a punching bag.

tried to go to sleep. got up for a while instead
 

I am so very very very very depressed.

'Among other things, . . . . thinking of losses of people to deaths or losses of friendships

. . . . .thinking of how limited (weak) my connections are with family, or anyone, . . .

How are managing your lamictal and other meds right now Mari?

I think a lot about the friendships and family members I've lost and the rifts that exist in my family... I'm very isolated. And it leaves me feeling very sad...
My husband is my anchor during these times. Maybe yours can be one for you, too.

:hug::hug::hug:
Kathryn

if i can when i am not too depressed i think that i am not alone and that God is always with me and nobody or nothing can take away God from me. It is so rough being bipolar and brilliant. I am talking about you. You see too much.
The depression doesn't help you process it in a positive light.
bobby

I am so sorry that you are this depressed.:(
Lean on your hubby if you can.
It seems like you have a relationship with your siblings and folks.
But I am only seeing bits and pieces here....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:
holidays bring up stirring memories.....

Kay,

I stopped taking the Lamictal a while ago because I thought that the side effects of the wormy feeling in my ears might have been caused by the Lamictal.

Even without the Lamictal, the wormy feeling is still there.


Starting back on the Lamictal will make me depressed. I have to take tiny doses and will feel sleepy / drugged.
It will take me two or three weeks to get up to the dose of 50 mgs I was before and I am not willing to spend my Christmas break feeling worse in order to "possibly" feel better.

M

I just looked at my time stamp of 10:40 a.m. (I posted just before I went to bed.)

Apparently, I sleep a little sometimes.

But it is not enough and not often enough and not restful.

M

Links to banana trees
 

Hi

On Saturday the neighbors paid some men to cut down their banana tree.

Banana trees spread out and kind of "travel" so, as it grew,
it crossed the property line and was partly on my property.

I will miss it.
All that is left is a huge ugly stump.

This link is a cleaner well tended, and larger version of how it used to look.
http://pictureplants.com/content/banana-tree

Scroll down to see a "messy" version of a banana tree. See how the tree keeps making new "trunks."
http://praneesthaikitchen.com/tag/ca...-banana-trunk/

This last link is a younger version of my old tree because it has a small trunk
https://suite.io/christy-swift/2nhq2ss

M

I'm sorry you are stuck in this constant battle to get enough sleep :hug:

Banana trees are beautiful, I would miss it, too. I'm sure the stump is ugly, but I'm willing to bet your neighbors plan on leaving it there. Stumps can be extremely costly to get rid of.

Kay,

There is not much fiber in a banana tree.
And the roots can be very shallow, about six inches.
The bugs and bacteria might eat it eventually.


M

our little banana tree blooms a purple flower sometimes. no bananas. It is in the back of the property.I rarely go back there.
bizi

Mari

Not sure if you have ever tried Zonegran, but its supposed to be like
Lamictal without the side effects. Or of course as many.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Pillow
 

http://www.loneyogi.com/collections/...illow-midnight

Above is a link to a purple and black "grounding" pillow that is cute.


I already have a purple and black throw for the sofa.
Its pattern is pagan instead of Buddhist (the lotus flower in the pillow in a Buddhist symbol).

M

Maybe you can buy yourself this christmas present?
bizi:)

That seems like a very comforting and reassuring pillow Mari. It's also pretty good looking :)

I am working from home for the next two weeks!!!!!!!!!!!
 

http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/p...psranifmdm.png

This was the hardest semester I ever had. I am including
the time a husband dumped me,
the time I was locked up involuntarily,
the times I nearly got fired (multiple),
the time I quit,
the two times a hurricane shut down power for 10+ days,
the times I had almost no money for food so I lived on home made bread pudding (eggs, bread, milk, some sugar), . . . . .
I have tons of work to do by Jan 4 but I can do it from home via my wifi. --- NO DRIVING IN!!!!

when do you get to retire?
bizi

In a long while. I need to find ways to cope: esp sleep.

I added Lamictal back into the mix: one half of a 25 mgs pill tonight. Perhaps it will help depression.

M

do you know why it was so hard? she seemed to have so very many meetings besides classes. you took the computer course-hybrid that must have been a strain. I bet next semester will be much easier. You won't have to go to school as much. right?
take care of yourself and try to have faith. right now i can't lol
bobby

I am glad that you will work from home for the next 2 weeks!!!!
bizi

I'm sorry this has been such a rough semester. It must have been a real doozie to stand up to, never mind trump all those other challenges.

How much of the challenge this semester has been due to your struggle with sleep?

The amount of meetings you're expected to attend seem to be excessive. I hope that working from home for a little while helps.

I also hope that the lamictal comes through for you :hug::hug::hug:

Hi,


Today I am hung over from the 1/2 of 25 mgs Lamictal.
I probably slept a little.


Kay,
It is mostly the sleep. But even with good sleep, I need a lot of isolation/down time/quiet time by myself -- not sure if it is the side effects of the meds or
maybe part of my personality.

M

I am hoping you get plenty of me time over the next 2 weeks.
bizi

Usually a combination of factors challenge us... wear us down.

I can understand the need for "me time" and quiet. It helps a lot of people recharge their batteries and center themselves, whatever the reason.

I wish you could find something that could help you vanquish your sleep problem. You seem to get so little rest. It must make everything you do so much harder. :hug::hug::hug:

They do keep making new sleep meds... but the copays are always outlandish and there is never enough information on them until they've been on the market for a while. Not to mention the side effects...

Kay