Help me Please
 

Well, I haven't talked much about my neighbor lately that I've had the crush on a while back. Him and I have been talking here and there and just now we talked for a long time. He informed me that he has at the most 6 months to live. He nearly lost his life to cancer just recently. The hospital had him on life support. I need to be a good friend to him now and get ready to watch someone whom I've thought to be special since the beginning of March, die. We talked about death and dying and about his funeral plans. It was creepy but without the crush on him any longer I can talk about these things without too much difficulty. I still hold a special place in my heart for him though. I just have a feeling that I'm going to need a lot of hugs, love, and support to hang in there and look after him in his final days. That's if he'll let me. He wants for me to come back to his place tonight when he gets home from a cookout. And right now I'm still in shock too.

befuddled2

Hi B
 

Well i'm so sorry to here this,and know your having a hard time. But
i'm glad he has you to listen. Because more then anything that's
what he needs now. You take care of yourself as well. Sue

Hi and Hugs befuddled 2

I am a great believer that amongst all this confusion and despair we feel in life, that certain people enter our world for a reason. This man is destined to be part of your life and through his trauma you will find answers to your own difficulties in some way. The support i have no doubt that you will offer this man will be just what he needs.

I am a Support Worker and have experienced this situation myself. It is heartbreaking but it certainly makes you a stronger person, and what someone leaves behind you carry it forward in your heart.

Be strong + Take care of you.

((((((Barbara)))))),

I'm so sorry, honey :hug: We knew this was lurking in the background, but, it's different to hear it put into words.

I told you I had a feeling that he came into your life for a reason. Maybe to teach you how to open your heart and to love again :(

David's right -- it's heartbreaking. But, it's the most intimate experience you can share with another human being.

I didn't say it at the time that he pushed you away. But, I had a feeling that he was pushing you away because he didn't want you to get hurt. It speaks volumes about YOU, Barbara, that he's willing to let you close now.

You know we all care about you and love you. We're all here for you 24/7. Let the love surround you and warm the last few cold places in your heart.

Bless you. You're a wonderful person. BIG HUGS.

Barb :hug:

Dear Barb,
Did he talk about hospice at all?
They provide help for terminally ill patients in their homes ...have you heard about them before?
Billie(fancylady) is training to be a volunteer with hospice...she started this week.
There are also home care companys to provide care as well if he needs that.
He definately needs friends to listen and spend time with him...you sound prepared to be a friend for him....and have a generous heart to share.
You have a kind soul.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Befuddled,
We are here for all the hugs and support you want.
Mari

this can be one of the most beautiful experiences of your life. I went through this with two of my dearest friends....Once when I was in my late twenties and my friend had leukemia and once in my early fifties. You just can't fight it.
Bobby with hugs

Thanks everyone for your tender words.

He picked out his casket yesterday and told me what it looks like.

Bizi, he has hospice coming on Monday.

I'm okay for now.

befuddled2

I'll be here to listen. Sometimes I can't get on and post everyday, but I sure try to check in as much as possible.

Hang in there, love. You are a beautiful woman. Just rememeber to take care of yourself too.

Your a wonderful person and a friend to him. Enjoy the time you have together.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Is he going into hospice on Monday? Or do they have home hospice?

Hang in there, although it's tough, keep him smiling and laughing as much as you can for both your sakes.

We are all here to help you through this.

Lots of Hugs, Nikko:hug:

That must have been hard to hear about.
Does he have any religious back ground?
Hospice has spiritual people as well who will visit him if he wants that...a minister or priest are usually on the team as well as social workers.
take care of yourself too.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Thank you Mrs. Bear, Nikko and Bizi.

Mrs. Bear, I appreciate your thoughfulness.

Nikko, he's not much in a laughing mood now.

Bizi, at the time my neighbor talking about picking out his casket seem such a natural thing to discuss. I plan to do the same for myself when I am able to. I do not want my brothers being cheap with my funeral so there will be lots of insurance money left over for them.

befuddled2

My thoughts and prayers are with you both at this difficult time.

You will get through this, you are a strong person. I guess it's good he can talk about it too. It must be so hard.

I am sure hospice will help a lot too.

Again, we are all here for you, keep posting, let it out, vent......cry......let the emotions flow, don't hold it in.

Hugs, Nikko:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Dear BF, Barb has all the right things to say, as usual, and so do all the other posters. I firmly believe that you were meant to enter Doug's life for a reason; I'm also glad he has softened enough to be able to let you in.

As the others have said, too, you've got to take care of yourself - keep your strength up, and try your hardest not to get too emotionally caught up in the situation, this for both of you, will be a good idea.

Best wishes, stay strong, and know that we are all behind you :grouphug:

Jacquie

Thank Nikko and Jaquie,

Nikko, my neighbor will have the home hospice.

Jaquie, I will try my best to do what you suggest. So far I'm doing fine. He took me and his roommate out to eat yesterday and wanted for me to also go play bingo with them in the worst way. I wanted to get my rest though for Sunday school today and my freind coming over. I'm going to need my
3-D support as well so I need to build up my support systems for that day when it comes.

befuddled2

when I said this could be one of your most beautiful experiences, I meant that this period can be filled with love...love is so powerful...we forgot the petty issues of life and just open ourselves up to what is truly valuable...the more you feel the love and let the love act, the easier it will be when the time comes. We all have to die..nobody is exempt....
Bobby

Thank you Bobby.

I haven't seen my neighbor all day today as either him or I have been gone. I went to church this morning and had lunch out with one of my friends and lost a game of scrabble.

befuddled