18 years old, 5 months PCS, is my life ruined?
 

I've had multiple concussions throughout my life and in January a trunk of an SUV slammed my head and I got a concussion that seemed minor. I stupidly went out and drank and partied a week or so after and I still have horrible PCS symptoms. My memory is still horrible, I forget everything and I feel like I don't even have the ability to backtrack things in my brain. I've recently since this month been getting bad headaches and ALWAYS feel dizzy and slow. I can't even really socialize or do anything because I just feel out of it all the time. I don't even really know how I managed to get through this semester (just finished my freshman year of college). Will my memory ever atleast get a little bit better? Will I be able to cognitively function? Will I ever be able to run and workout? Does this dizziness go away? I'm 18 years old and I feel as if my life is already over.

Now that you have some time off, you should seriously give your brain a chance to recover. No drinking, get good sleep, minimize stress, minimize visual and auditory stimulation, and anything else that has triggered an increase in symptoms. Recovering from a concussion/PCS is not a 'rest up after a busy week' kind of process. It takes sustained periods of proper avoidance of stress. A week of good days with a single night of partying will undo the whole week of improvement.

So, you have some mature decisions to make. At 18, they are tough. You can struggle for another years or two or just settle down and give your brain the rest and support it needs. You have 50 years ahead. A break from the stressful activities of an 18 year old will make you future much brighter.

Are you following a brain nutrition regimen like the one in the Vitamins sticky at the top ? It is well worth the effort. It takes months of discipline to see sustained results.

I don't understand why high school and college age concussion sufferers will put the effort in to finish school for a hope at a job in the distant future but struggle to put the effort in to help their concussed brains recover for the near future. Just wondering.

I would definitely heed Mark's advice. I had a similar injury that was exacerbated by alcohol. About 14 months later, I still have headaches but many other symptoms have gotten much much better. At 18, please know that your life is most definitely not over. I am 25 and the last 14 months have been excruciating but life is long and you're just going to have to grow up a little bit sooner than your peers. But, you got this!!

Mark, with all due respect, I really do think you need to take a look at the tone you use in the backhanded questions, making people who are reaching out in a very troubling time feel dumb or stupid about their injuries. I know you've lived longer with PCS than most of us on this forum, but what I'm suggesting has little to do with PCS and much more to do with just showing a bit more empathy. No one wants to be on this forum, regardless of how young or stupid you might think they are.

I can attest to that- For me half of it was just not knowing and being aware of how important rest is. The other half was the pressure that seems to be put on people my age. It is made out to be that one has to do everything to stay on the four year path. I can say that before my injury I put a lot of pressure on every aspect of my life, not just school or career wise, but socially too.

Even before my hit to the head partying one night would knock me out the next couple days, so I cannot even imagine what it would do to my body now. I gave up drinking after the last concussion, and I have been better off for it and wish I would have quit a lot sooner in college.

hermantor,

Without point a finger at anybody, I was trying to show the comparison. People stress out about grades and make serious efforts to accomplish the grades needed for a job that is not known. This shows there is enough drive and discipline to get the job done. That same drive and discipline will achieve great results if applied to PCS.

I have to agree with Mark.

I don't understand the drive for a good grade at the expense of health, the grade is of little value without the health to accompany it in the job market.

Bud

When you are only 18 years old, you are expected by society to be doing certain things with your life. Graduating high school, going to college or starting your career. In general you are expected to be progressing in life and accomplishing things. To take time to slow down at that age makes everyone think less of you. people will think you are lazy and going nowhere in life. Its not like he does not want to take the time to heal, rather its the fear of getting left behind in life if he does. (At least it was for me)

If that issue of slowing down is based on the perception of others, it is false. There is an old saying. 'If you only knew how little time others spend thinking of you, you would not worry so much about what they think of you.'

A simple explanation is sufficient. 'I suffered a traumatic brain injury and needed to slow down and take some time off. I recovered and am doing great now.' Those that choose to not accept that explanation have their own issues.

That is a much easier explanation than the roller coaster of PCS interrupting ones life for years.

In my view, it appears most young people are not as concerned about what others think but rather do not want to miss out on partying and stressful entertainment. There are plenty of social circles that do not involve such brain stressful activities.

What I am referring to is not simply having to stop going to parties or certain entertainment events, rather having to take more drastic measures like stopping going to college or doing something of that sort where I think it is perfectly reasonable to be apprehensive to doing so. And with certain people, like me, you may need to do something like that because of the severity of your symptoms.

But if someone is complaining about not being able to party or do the other mentally damaging things the average college student does, then yes I completely agree that they need to reassess their priorities and choose between not doing these things and getting better or continuing to do these things and inevitable get worse and worse.

A lot of it is how you are perceived. To all my friends and family I physically look fine, so it is hard for them to think there is something wrong. People also tend to react inappropriately towards because I think they were so used to the way I was before, and they have some personal denial of my condition. Either way, one feels alienated pretty easily.

Feeling left behind encompasses most of it I think. It has been very hard seeing all my friends off at school or working while I have been stuck with my condition. Now, it's spring and I would usually be working 60 hours a week and I had to tell my employer hopefully next summer, but that isn't a guarantee. You realize how fast you life moves when you stop and see others before you keep going through life.

CE,

I suggest you seriously consider whether a 60 hour work week will ever be good for you. I don't think so. So, I suggest you look for a way to reinvent yourself using your skills in a way that does not require the intensity you are used to in your past.

I used to do work in many of the Silicon Valley companies. The best employers had many different ways to give employees breaks so they could get intense efforts. Apple Computer looked like an adult version of Chuck e Cheese.

Whatever engineering direction you pursue, there are ways to moderate your work stress. My niece's husband with a robotic engineering degree from Cal Poly just got his teaching credential because the intensity of his industry was more than he wanted. He teaches engineering in high school at a pace that leaves him available to his family.

As the son of a rocket engineer, I observed how my father learned to moderate the intensity of the Top Secret satellite surveillance projects he worked on. My brother, on the other hand, was unable to moderate his job stress as a systems engineer and has struggled ever since.

So, when you see friends taking on intense jobs in engineering or otherwise, try to recognize the price they pay for those jobs.

Your future family will want you when you get home, not a remnant after the pound of flesh taken by your employer. Whether one has some limits due to PCS or not, the stress that comes home is often the same.

My best to you.

The issues of perception, peer pressure and expectations placed upon you by yourself and others is not limited to being in school or new career climbing.

I'm 57 and it's no different. My competitors were circling like vultures after my accident, ready to divide my customers. I fooled them and didn't die!

After a 10 month hiatus from work I was very concerned about customer opinion and was I ever being watched...employees as well.

It has been a very difficult lesson for me to learn to keep my head down and mind my own business, not be swayed by the polls of public opinion and be confident enough to heal in the way I felt best despite having never been down the PCS road before.

I believe peer pressure has its place but you can't allow it to make decisions for you in and of itself. It has taken a good whack to the noggin to learn that, an unexpected benefit from a bad situation.

Bud

This is exactly how I feel. My condition has been changing lately, I've been feeling more dizziness, memory issues, migraines, and brain fog. It's very hard for me to think of words sometimes. My ears ring 24/7. My memory issues are bad, I'm very forgetful and I don't really think of old memorys in general, If someone mentions it to me, I'll usually remember it. But if no one says anything about an old memory, it's like I don't have the ability to retrieve it. I just hope I get better, I've been resting since I've gotten home, in hopes that I'll get better one day. It's crazy, there were so many things I took for granted when I wasn't dealing with PCS. I'm forced to live life so slow now, and it's hard for people to understand this as I've had ADHD and focusing problems my whole life. I'm a naturally energetic kid. I know I most likely won't ever be who I was before, but as long as I heal enough to be able to work out and jump around and just remember things to a decent degree, I'll be satisfied. It's time for me to just realize I won't be as intelligent, energetic, and witty as I used to be, but I think I'm okay with that.

[I know I most likely won't ever be who I was before, but as long as I heal enough to be able to work out and jump around and just remember things to a decent degree, I'll be satisfied. It's time for me to just realize I won't be as intelligent, energetic, and witty as I used to be, but I think I'm okay with that.[/QUOTE]

I assure you of this - if you take a very open approach to understanding what you are experiencing, and why the loss seems hard to accept, you will come out of this injury as an EVEN BETTER person than the person you thought got injured. I imagine that sounds like a bit of cloud 9 hopeful crap that a lot of people say when one is going through a difficult time, but having spent the last 14 months dealing with PCS (severe headaches, depression, and memory issues), this is something I am nearly convinced of.

Herm,

I have been an active person my entire life. Exercise, water and snow ski amongst other things...it all came to a grinding halt and I thought my life was over. I am 25 months post accident now and as active as ever with a few exceptions. Mainly that I can't exercise at previous levels Mon.-Fri. I need a day off after 3 in gym but what the heck, I can live with that.

Last year at this time I couldn't even walk 1/4 mile without terrible symptoms and it wasn't until 22 months I could tolerate some serious gym time.

I can say without a doubt that I have changed and for the better in many ways due to my accident experience. One of the biggest improvements I see is with my business. I am not afraid to say I have to think about something before a decision now and actually think I am making better decisions due to that.

Kerningz,

I did not get really bad until 6 months post accident. The first 6 months I thought healing was just like a broken bone...inconvenient but getting better. By 6 months I began to notice barely perceptible changes in thought and sleep and then WHAM!! The next 1.5 years was the toughest of my life.

Not at all saying you will be ran over like I was...just that your increasing symptoms later on in recovery is very similar to my experience.

Bud

Wow, that's a relief. How's your memory now? As well as your general cognitive abilities? and any dizziness? Also, I've been following the vitamin regimen for 4 months and I really haven't noticed any results to my knowledge. Is there anything you did that you believe helped you heal up? I'd love to follow said ideas. As an 18 year old, it's hard for me to just stay still all the time and not be active.

Kerningz,

Stillness was and is difficult for me too but is a necessary skill to learn and one I should have learned at 18. I'm not talking lazy, but there are times in life when being still is beneficial.

I did not think the vitamin regimine was doing much for me until I got lazy about it and that is when I could tell it had been working...it was subtle but noticeable. The changes I noticed departed with the return of vitamin discipline.

I'm still not the same person I was pre accident but I do not find anything I lack to be a detrimental problem. I have learned to stay calm, focus better and when something isn't clear I find a way to stop now and make a clear decision. I ask my sons who work for me for their input and have allowed them to make decisions, all of which really makes you better in business. I don't want to sound silly here but to sum it up some...I am missing some of who I was pre accident but my natural distaste for failure at what I do has allowed me to develope skills that I feel I should have acquired many years ago and that can't be viewed as a loss. I would go so far as to say in some ways I enjoy my life now more than before.

As far as exercise goes I had to determine what the root cause of symptoms from exercise were. Were they from the injury or the anxiety that developed from injury. I would try something and if it was to uncomfortable and what I determined to seem physical. I quit then tried a few weeks later. As I learned to identify anxiety related causes of symptoms I would push through under the premise that I would not harm myself physically and deal with the resultant rise in anxiety.

I have some small spells of a dizzy feeling that occur both random and seldom...they have not affected my ability to be stable though. I had a friend take me flying last month, my first time in a plane since my injury and all went well, no dizziness or disorientation. This winter I plan on getting back at flying, I will spend time with an instructor to check me out thoroughly.

If for some reason I can't fly again I don't seem to distraught over it..life is still fun. Sounds weird for someone who owns a flying business to say but I think God has given me peace about it either way.

I had to prioritize what I felt important to recover...activities with my grandkids such as the skiing have been in front and I have succeeded at such....flying, I've had my fun.

Take care,
Bud

Hey Bud,

I've also been experiencing a pretty stiff and uncomfortable neck basically all the time. I crack my neck multiple times per hour. Is this because of the lack of physical movements or because of the injury (an SUV trunk's hinges were broken slammed my head)? Also, does this pain in my neck have any chance of hindering my feeling process/giving me symptoms? I just want to be able to figure out everything and It seems your process is very similar to mine and at 18 I'd love to get a more wise man's opinion and knowledge to help lead me back to health. Thanks Bud!

If you can pop your neck, it would not be unlikely that you have additional neck issues that the popping does not resolve. The upper neck does not pop, even when it is out of place. I suggest you find someone who is a specialist in upper neck, an upper cervical chiro or Physical Therapist who has good upper neck skills or maybe an osteopath (doctor with DO after his/her name) to gently help you heal.

You need to take an break from popping your neck to let it heal. You will also need to establish good head and neck posture during sleep and rest. You can easily undo any good done by a doc or PT by popping your neck or sleeping with poor posture. I spent many nights sleeping in a recliner. I got my best sleep that way.