Wondering what to do
 

Hi ya all!
I need a little advice right now if you guys have time to spare. How come I feel so worthless. I am having a hard time dealing with my husband right now. I have finally settled my lawsuit against the company that fired me after about 4 yrs of fighting and when I did my husband was not happy because I did not take it all the way to court. I just wanted to get it done because it was taking a lot out of me. I felt that the offer was good enough and was afraid if I took it to court that I would end up getting less as well as them possibly closing my file instead of leaving it open for my rsd. My husband said that it was not enough and I tried to tell him that no amount of money is going to take away my rsd. He still was upset and told me that he was getting tired of supporting me for the last 5 yrs. I told him if he wasn't happy he knew where the door was. He then told me that he could not afford to leave me. I said if that is all you are staying for then just go. He said he also loved me. I told him that when we got the check that I was going to pay off some of the little bills that we accumalated, I was going to catch his fuel bill up for his semi, pay the bill for the repair of his tractor, pay truck country off for his semi,pay his mother off and that the only thing I wanted out of all this money is an above ground 4 foot deep pool with a privacy fence around it. Tonight after talking to him about my daughters school costs for 7th grade he told me we were going to have to wait on a few things. I said like what and he said like the privacy fence and the pool. I asked him why and he said that he was going to need a feeder for his new cattle and that winter was coming and that we needed to get the cattle a heated water tank. It was not my idea to get these cattle in the first place. I asked him to wait until we lived in the house a little longer(we have only lived here a year) and he did not do that. Am I wrong for wanting a little something for myself? I thoght I deserved a little something out of this. Should he get to do what he wants and put my stuff on the backburner because according to him he has supported me for the last five yrs even though it has only been 4 yrs.?I don't usually ask for to much, but once in awhile I would like a little something. I do take care of the house, our daughter, and his cattle while he is gone.I also am going back to school in August. I don't want to spend the money all at one time either. I would like to put away about $5000 in a cd and still have some money in an account for cushioning in case we may need it for something. Again am I thinking wrong, does he deserve most of the money? I have never looked at it his and mine. I have always looked at it as a team that works together.Please help ease my mind!

Tracy

i will be blunt i'm afraid.
i think your husband is being selfish and it sounds as if he MAY not be around forever. i think you would be very wise to put almost all of the money away, in your name, for your care, as you need it. this is not a disease where you get better, and you may, in the future, have needs you have not even imagined, and you may need things to take care of yourself and your daughter in the future. you may or may not get through school, it depends on if your rsd behaves.
if you had a lawyer for this case please seek his advise quickly.
all may turn out well with the relationship you are in, but if not, he will move on and work and live his life, and you may not have anything left and may live in poverty as so many people with chronic conditions do.
please please take care of you. joan

I am thinking as Joan is, however, I would like to add:

Are you in any kind of counseling for yourself? Would your husband be willing to go to counseling with you? This disorder wreaks havoc on families because getting into a marriage/relationship, you are not expecting the part of the vow that says WORSE, and in SICKNESS. He might need to get a few things off his chest.

One more thing though, what have the cattle done the last 4/5 years?

On a piece of paper make two columns, then on one column, list out everything he needs to have done, with the semi, the cattle, etc. Then on the second column list your privacy fence. Make sure to include any and all costs estimated or actual. Write at the bottom,

HIS NAME, AS YOU CAN SEE YOU ARE RECEIVING MOST OF THE SETTLEMENT, IT IS NOT TOO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK FOR, WANT, AND GET A PRIVACY FENCE. PLEASE REVIEW THIS LIST AND LET ME KNOW WHAT CAN WAIT FROM YOUR COLUMN BECAUSE I DESERVE THE ONE THING IN MY COLUMN.

Then ask for counseling. If he cannot accept this then what Joan says is true, he loves you but might just be done. Then he doesn't get any - possibly. Talk to a lawyer. In California, settlements are not considered community property to be divided in a lawsuit.

Hugs.

That is some very good advice and observations, Pookie.

You are NOT being selfish for wanting a little something for yourself.

Did it ever occur to your husband that the money that you received in your settlement, wisely invested, would ENSURE that he "wouldn't have to take care of you" if your condition (God Forbid) worsens in the future?

Think carefully on this...Couseling sessions with your husband, so that you each have an opportunity to discuss how your injury has affected you, your husband and the "we" part of the relationship, the dissapointments that you each experienced because of the injury, and future "expectations" with each other wold be extremely beneficial.

Is it possible, now that you have a nice settlement, that somehow your husband "perceives" that YOU no longer "need" HIM? ByHIM tying up all the money for "his needs", that would pretty much guarantee that you would HAVE to remain "dependant" on him...and also, he REMAINS IN CONTROL.

Just a thought.

Ihope everything works out for you. Because, YOU deserve to be HAPPY.

Most Respectfully,

Pookie,
I agree with everyone else. One thing you can recommend has to do with the cattle. Tell him that he can put a rubber ball (large) in the water and where ever the ball is the water will not freeze. the animals push the ball out of the way to drink and PRESTO...the cows have water. If he says that it is stupid, just let him know that other people with cattle and horses do this in the winter so the animals have water to drink.
Mary

I want to thank everyone for there input. It is greatly appreciated. My settlement is not all that great, but it was just to prove a point to the company that they can't just fire someone who gets injured on the job and get away with it all the time. It was never about the money in the first place, I just wanted them to realize what kind of people are out there. That not everyone is just going to shove it under the rug just because they do. I have a disability for life and it is there fault because they did not listen to me when I told them that someone going to get hurt and then it was to late. The settlement that I am going to walk with is just over $28,000 after the attorney takes his share. It is not much but like I said before I just wanted it over. At least I have an open file and the company has to pay for everything that involves my rsd. That is one real good thing out of this since I cannot get health insurance. As far as my husband goes I know he is tired of having to support me, but it is not like I have given up trying to make something of myself. I tried to get another job even if it was part time for about a year and a half after I lost my job. I got denied everytime I tried so I gave that up because it was shoving me further into depression than I already was. That is when I came off the waiting list for voc rehab and started this new journey. I am still trying to make something of myself, but sometimes I feel that is not good enough. What can I do to make myself feel better about things? I don't want my husband to have to feel responsible for me, but I did not ask to get this disease either. He does try to reassure me that he believes that it is the jobs fault for this happening, but sometimes I just feel those are just words that he no longer means. I know here I go again feeling sorry for myself. sorry. I am just stuck and don't know what to do. I also have an 11 yr old daughter to take care of and I sometimes struggle with that because she shouldn't have to deal with a mother that can't do things like I use to. I can tell just by looking at her it gets to her sometimes because she just gets this sad look on her face. She also says things to me like " I wish you could ride bike with me" or "You are hurting again aren't you mom?" If there was anything I could do to take the pain away from her I would. I love her so much and to see her go through this I feel is very unfair. I guess I just don't know how to cope with all of this. It is all so overwhelming. No I don't have a couselor because I just don't know where to turn because I don't have any health insurance to help pay for it. It is just so hard. Sorry if i mess up I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face right now.Sorry for just rambling I jsut don't know what to do. Iam so mixed up with so many emotions right now. I am trying to be tough but it is pretty difficult when it seems that your whole world is crashing in on you. Again thanks for taking the time to read my rambling and giving me suggestions. It helps more than words can say.

Tracy

Pookie,

I agree with everyone also. I especially like the idea where you make 2 columns. Recently I received a settlement for the death of my sister. My husband gave me some input and his opinion, but it was my decision. There were things that he didn't get. This money is because of your RSD - YOUR medical condition. We are all faced with the fact that this isn't going away.
The pool would provide a place for you to do some physical therapy at home during the summer months. Just think how many co-pays that would save you. You are ABSOLUTELY NOT being selfish - atleast this is my two-cents worth.

Please keep us updated. I'm thinking about you.

:grouphug:

Oh, Tracy, I wish there was something we could do for you!

Who is the Doc treating you for your RSD? Do you have just ONE Doctor that you TRUST? Perhaps this Doctor could refer you to someone for a littl counseling. You see, part of the settlement money that you got COULD be used to pay for some Counseling..not just for you but FAMILY counseling which includes your hubbby and daughter. I think THAT is a heck of a lot more important than some cows having warm water to drink!

After going through quite a similar experience myself, my PTP explained to me that what you are experiencing with your husband is quite common. Men tend to get very very frustrated when confronted with "problems" that THEY CAN'T "FIX". Seems that men have a MUCH more difficult time ADAPTING then we women do...

It is really important for your husband and your daughter to realize that this injury/RSD doe NOT DEFINE YOU as a PERSON. You are STILL LOVING, INTELLIGENT, COMPASSIONATE, and have MANY, MANY other WONDERFUL qualities that is "Tracy"! It is just that SOMETIMES, your body just doesn't "cooperate". It does NOT mean, however that YOU are "worthless", have "nothing to contribute" and so forth. No one has a right to make ANY PERSON FEEL THAT WAY--not even a DISEASE like RSD.

Sounds to me like YOU have QUITE A BIT TO BE PROUD OF! You DID get a VERY nice settlement! You DID take on your employer, AND YOU WON! ANd, YOU kept your household AND the cows RUNNING, in SPITE of the RSD and the stress of litigating your claim SUCCESSFULLY.

WHEW!! I am tired ALREADY just THINKING about ALL the things you have done, ACCOMPLISHED and have TRIED to do to make your situation better.

Maybe when things calm down a bit, you and your hubby will see, and FEEL, things a bit differently.
But in the meanwhile, see if your Doctor can refer you to someone, JUST FOR YOU, Tracy. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

Most Respectfully,

Pookie,

I just read your response - after I sent my message.

I am so sorry that you're going through all of this.:hug: If there was something that I could do- I hope knowing that there are MANY people who are also struggling with this disease helps a little. I agree with you that one of the hardest things is how it affects our children. My son went through a time where he thought he was causing my pain. It's soo very hard.

I do think that some counseling would be good for everyone. Just to clear the air a little bit. Is your husband willing to listen and participate in a support group? I do know that most churches have support groups - which might be an option.

Pookie, I am so sorry. I hope your RSD is atleast under control where the pain is tolerable. Please let us know how you're doing - even if you haveto e-mail us everyday to talk.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

The posts crossed with me as well...Dealin--what a GREAT idea about the pool for PT! Tracy--the POOL would ALSO be a FUN activity for you , your daughter and your hubby to ENJOY as a family!

I know of Doctors who will PRESCRIBE things like this as a "medical necessity", and it can be DECUCTED from your income taxes. i personally have a friend whose Doc prescribed a JACUZZI, and she and her hubby were able to deduct it from their taxes. Her hubby put up a fuss, but guess WHO was using the using the jacuzzi MORE, especially after a hard day's work??!!

Hey! Maybe add a Jacuzzi to your list, for the WINTER! (if you don't mind the cows taking a little "sip", once and a while...);)

Most Respectfully,

from what I read, correct me if I'm wrong, the company pays all bills/treatment relating to RSD. Your emotional well being is dampened as a result of this RSD. Get them to pay for counseling. You deserve it. You can prove it by going to any and all major websites that specifically deal with RSD and print the list of necessary and probable treatments. You will find psychological help is ALWAYS on the list of treatments needed for people with RSD.

Hugs.

something else to consider. You can apply for social security disability. I applied and was approved the first time out. It is based only on you, not what your husband makes. Give it a try. Just remember to always give the worse day . good luck

Jumk4mye-mail--Yes! Re-reading Pookie's post, she DOES have "open medical" to pay for future treatment!

Pookie--as E-mail pointed out, you should be entitled to Counseling for your RSD--that is just STANDARD for RSD, as is "multidisciplinary pain management", which IN ADDITION to Counseling, helps the RSD/chronic pain sufferer different, more positive ways to cope with pain.

AND--yes! As e-mail and LostMary pointed out, If you have been UNABLE to work for at least ONE YEAR as a result of the RSD, then you SHOULD apply for SSDI, ASAP. I too, qualified for SSDI on the basis of my RSD.

SSDI considers the inability of the applicant to perforn any "substantial gainful employement", which means, not being able to earn $900 per month.
AND, once you qualify, there is a "waiting period", BUT you will then be eligible for MEDICARE, which will cover you for all OTHER medical needs, (Your IC wil be paying for the RSD onyour open medical claim)...

AND--IF you qualify for SSDI, AND you might want to try to do a little part-time work, SSDI has different "programs" that will allow you to do so WITHOUT LOSING your SSDI benefits OR MEDICARE! ( I just recently learned this, and it is very promising.. away to earn a little something, working at my OWN pace from home, and feeling PRODUCTIVE).

Some of the programs will even pay for school, and special adaptive equipment that you might need...

There are a LOT of POSITIVE OPTIONS and OPPORTUNITIES out there for you, Pookie!

Most Respectfully,

POOKIE
Hey some times you have to take care of yourself and your kids first, why not you and your daughter first? you all deserve a break, hey a vacation a small one sounds like you all need that :) get your minds off of everything.
Sounds like you hubby is living in a time warp and thinks he is the BOSS! and if you think that amount was right for you and you made your stand as you say and taught the company a lesson good for you, dont second guess your award it was what you thought was fair.
To you I wish you the best and get your pool aqa therapy is great.

hurting
 

i don't know you but i feel as though i have walked in your shoes regarding your feelings and issues about your daughter at least. i know just what you mean. my daughter is eleven also and i haven't been on a bike ride with her since she was seven and there are days when i feel so guilty about all of it that i can hardly breathe. i don't have a husband to deal with cuz i was divorce almost ten yrs ago, but i CAN tell you what happened while i was getting divorced. my lovely ex emptied out the bank account, all of it, every last dime, took the car, cut up all of my clothes, stole my jewelry and left me and his two kids completely and totally flat broke and refused to have visitation with the kids because he didn't want me to be able to go out and have a life of my own. please take the advice of all these smart women here and put something away for you just in your name "just in case" like you said it's really not that much $ and someday you might truly need it just to survive. i don't want to sound preachy but i have been there and done that, and i don't want anybody else suffering the way that i did. also you migh want to read posts from unrouley1 regarding her current homeless situation and what she is going through because of hubbys actions. please think about yourself and kids. it's absolutely neccessary and absolutely the right thing to do. hope you have better days soon and congrats on enrolling in school! you are obviously a strong person and i must say i admire you and your decision to keep on keepin on. take care and take more care, jenny

jenny,
that was great of you to share your expeiences. i agree with all the ideas of therapy but i also have known many a woman, who trusted a man, and lost everything when they just up and left.
i have had many trials with my husband over my long journey through rsd land. at first we cried together and he was kind and helpful, and then he got sick of it because he realized that it was forever. we are both with seperate therapists now. i got really tough thanks to my therapist, and said therapy or out and i meant it. men do not deal well with things they cannot fix, and i was always hearing about how 'if' i had stayed working we would have this and that and do this and that ... well unfortuantely 'if' does not exist.
i will also add, that years ago, pre rsd, my husband was hmmm ...let me say 'acting up' and i pulled every cent out of the bank before he even thought of it. i had two children to support and he was not taking anything. so, it is sad, but we have to protect ourselves and our children first and foremost, rsd or no rsd.
keep writing, if you can't get therapy, we can at we last support you here. oh, and as for your daughter, she will adjust to whatever you are, kids are wonderful! i have six, soon to have 8 grandchildren, one living with me right now because 'non rsd' people cannot handle him! .... and so see, you are more than your rsd, and you have great gifts to offer your child. you cannot ride a bike, but you are her mom! and you are there for her! and that is the greatest gift of all. joan

Tracy,
You should really put that money away for an emergency. My husband got money when his mother died. I begged him to pay our mortgage up a few months and pay on the gas and lights. But to him his favorite words are "free money". If he had done that, (we are both disabled) we would not have lost our house. After 25 yrs of marriage you would have thought i would have some say in the matter. RSD can be expensive. Meds, Dr.appts. and more new meds. With what you have to deal with, treat yourself and then save some. your husband can wait.

Sue k.

Hi,
 

All of these girls have good stories to tell and I would listen to them. I haven't went through what they did. I was married 35 years to a good man that was also disabled but the man worked his ***** off for us to have something. He bought and sold antiques on the side and when he passed 8 months ago he left me with my home almost paid off. I only owed 5000. more on it when I lost him. I have everything I need. I still do need another vehicle but my truck is still going strong. Next month I will have my place paid off and another vehicle.

He could be a pain at times. He was determined to be the man of the house and take care of me and Susan. He was old school. At times it seemed like control to me but I finally realized I couldn't work anyway so I let him do what he needed to do.

As far as your husband, he doesn't sound like that kind of person. Bill never once said that if I would work we would have something. I really can't picture a good man saying that to his wife no more then she would him if he were disabled.

I recall a girl on the TOS forum who got her settlement and her husband bought him a new car and new motorcycle with HER settlement and left her very broke and in such bad shape for about 4 years until she got her SS. She didn't have kids to support either.

I would definately think about where that money should go myself. Maybe buy him one or two small things or one bigger item and you one item such as he pool and the fence which wouldn't be all that much and then put the other back.

As far as the bills. Go to these people and tell them you will make payments until they get paid off.

I don't remember if you said your husband was working or not. If he is then stretch his money as far as you can with paying the bills and put that aside for your emergencies.

As far as councelling for you, I would say they also offer free councelling somewhere through Social Services. They do here. At least for you. Give him an ultimatum as one girl said and if he won't go then go by yourself. If he doesn't meet you halfway then odds are he doesn't care enough to keep the marriage going.

Stand your ground and take care of yourself and your daughter. She is what's most important and think about the fact that most likely you will not be able to hold down another job.

Good luck on your decisions you make and hang around for the support that you will get from all of these good people.

Ada

I want oto thank everyone for there input. It all helps. I did apply for disability in the early stages twice and was denied twice. At that point I had no diagnoses, but I was put on permanent restrictions like no repetitive motion to the left hand, lifting restriction of only 2-3 pounds in the left hand and no sustained pinching or grasping with the left hand. Disability said that I could still work therefore they denied me. I gave up at that point because of my depression so I am afraid to go try again. I don't want to get anymore depressed than I already am. My husband will not go to church. He calls us bible thumpers. He beleives in god but he will not go to church. Don't get me wrong he is not a horrible man, its just sometimes he speaks before he thinks. I tell him how bad he hurts me, but he shows no emotion. In the 14 years that we have been married he may have shed tears 4-5 times. He does not show emotion. He just keeps on a plugging as he phrases it. I do love him a whole lot, it is just a tough road to travel for all of us because I am only 34 and had big plans to help him with his farm and do so many things with my family and in one instant all our dreams were shattered because of my injury. It is just not fair. I know life is not fair sometimes, but why me?

Tracy

Hi.

My research and appointments with lawyers have left me with an opinion that if a settlement is offered you are lucky if you get better than 35% of the gross lost income and benefit total (taxes, costs, etc.). Many lawyers will take cases and have the client sign for 20% - 35% of net settlement award to cover costs. Unfortunately, being disabled never works out that it's fair and its unlikely to recoup a significant portion of future lost income.

I definitely understand why you settled.... the insurance company never goes away and will continually try and find reasons for you to be employed regardless of how unlikely and horrible this would be.

If you're not on an anti-depressent I would suggest that you discuss this with your doctor. Depression is a symptom of dealing with this illness. Also there is an affect on the brain which helps calm some of the mis-firing that is part of CRPS.

If you have coverage or if you can access local, publically funded counselling you might benefit from this as well. You'll have to redefine your successes within the limitations that this illness places on you.

I wish you the best,
Miss Irie

Straight UP, look out for yourself. I would not pay off the bills he incurred, I would pay 1/2. His daughters education expenses are not your, they are his and the mothers. Also, I never had to pay for schooling my children and they were exceptiopnal students?

He is playing yoy. HE loves you for what you can provide...a contribution over his head the roof, pay off some bills. THe most telling thing he said Tracy was, he can;t afford to leave you, so that has been on his mind.

I would feel he will make plans and have you out, when he is on his feet with your money. IF the check does not half come in his name, I would out it in your seperate account, get advise on investing some of it and then if you choose to help with the expenses you normally would have contributed too, without counting on this monies, then do that.

He is already planing and it is not in your best interest, it is HIS! Take the bull by the horns and don;t let your painful condtion money go to his needs and enable him to leave you high and dry when HE is done!!!!!

Get counciling Tracy, you need the support.
As you told him. there is the door....don;t tell you he has to stay financially, I would tell him to let the door hit him as he leaves.

I went through this in my first marriage, it was horrible to be taken advantage of and I never got over it.
My prayers are with you,
Dianne

Hi pookie--first ecvuse my typing--bad hand day..

First--when you INITIA::Y applied for SSDI, you did NOT have a "diagnosis", and I suspect that you didn't have the stated WORK RESTICTIONS.. the same thing happened to me, so as SOON as I go tthe "evidence" AFTER SSDI denied my claim, I filed for the reconsideration, vasee on ADDITIONAL EVIDENCE and "ner information" that the initial SSDI did not have when making the INITIAL determination... by that time the EVIDENCE showed that I had a pain magagment Doc, was having Stellate Blocks, etc. S My calin was APPROVED, with "back=pay",

On a more "touvhy subject"--i too was with a "good man", who also RARELY showed "emotion"..I literally "busted my butt" for TEN YEARS--saw HIM through HIS inuries and "family crises". But when I got hurt, sure, he was there for me==at HIS CONVENIENCE--if it did NOT "interfere" with HIS plans, or his FAMILIES plans. HIS gamily lived a 12 HOUR car drive from us; MINE--THREE hours...after ONE of my ulnar sulrgeries, we were invited for the Holidays by my sister, who had NOT seen me or spent the Holidays with me for YEARS.. BUT--oh no, my SO REFUSED, and INSISTED that WE go to HIS faamily * which he hs ALWAYS seen) ...it was "no joy" enduring a 12 plus hour card drive to see his vamily/
Whenever I sufferd the loss of a family menber== I had to go "solo"--but for HIS fanily==U had to call the Doctors, make sure the everything was taken care of. VISIT for the "perk me ups", another 12 hour drive for HIS needs, etc.

Like your husband, the ONLY tiome I saw my S/o of TEN YEARS shed a tear was when it was someting that affected HIM. He woukld NEVER talk or shed a teatr about ANYTHING in MY life--MY worries, MY fears, HOW y injuries were affecting "US"..

The BIg "wake up call " was last year-- i had gallen and broken my knee, was non-wight bearing fot 12 weeks, amd had to recu[erate at "his place"..and BELIOEVE ME if I could have RUN away, I would have.. hecpnstantly critized me for NOT KEEPING HIS PLACE SPIC AND SPAN--never mind the fact that I was in a wheelchair, with TWO crappy arms, and couldn't use the crutches in the FIRST place..

AND, he REFUSED to tale me ANYSHWERE in PUBLIC.so I was STUCK..

When I FINALLY got to the point of partial weight=bering again, and HAD to be on crutches, i WANTED to be back at my OWN HOME..HIS satellite dish had blown up, HE couln;'t watch Baskeball, but he was MORE than happy to take me home to watch the game on MY TV--UPSTAIRS.

At half-time, I NICELY asked him to bring something uo from downstairs==IGNORED. Finally, I decided I would just do it MYSELF/

Meedless to say, I coulde not use the crutches properly, made it down the first 2 steps ok, but the crutch got caught as I wasn[t able to use them wuite right, and ended uo falling down FIFTEEN STAIRS, ending up in a heap on the livingorrm floor, surrounded by briken glass and blood.

ALL HE did was SWEAR AND CURSE that he was NOT taking me to the "f'in ER", and turned the tv volume up. I DID manage to make it to the phine ion the kitchen, call 911 amd they came...the Paramedics saw him LEAVE by the back door.

For the follwoing ELEVEN DAYS that I was in the hospital for a broken jip, re-broken knee, broken ankle (and the RSD wasn[t doing too well, either) o was CONSTANTLY asked if he "did something to me"...

Oh==I have NOT HEARD A WORD FROM HIM SINCE--except that he DID use my washer dryer while I was in the hospital after he and his buddy went on acamping /fishign trip and had laundry to do...

Perhaps the relationship between you and your husband is different, and WHEN he does things it is also FOR YOU..NOT "just" for HIM in "at the moment" (if it is convenient for HIM), not "tomorrow (if it is convenient for HIM), or for his FUTURE (if YOU have something HE NEEDS, and it BENEFITS HIM).

I learned a VERY HARD LESSON, that MY needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as HIS...and guess what??

A YEAR later after all this-- I am doing JUST FINE. SUre, there are some difficult moments, the "why did this happen to me" ,moments, but for ONCE, I AM living FOR ME, without someione "else" ytuomh to make me feel that if I do NOT have what HE needs WHEN he needs it, that I am
"not deserving" and SELFISH because the world didnt; REVOLVE AROUND HIS NEEDS.

Well , I hope this makes sense. It is diffivult to talk about , let alone TYPE/

i NRVER thought ANY of thiscould "happen to me", but it DID. AND I ,made it through. i have MANY more OPPORTUNITIES, and you better belive it, I am exploring THEM ALL, one 'step at a time",..LITERALLY!!

I hope this helps put thing is perspective...if anything i have said raises a "red flag" , TRY to get family counselling so you van talk about it BEFORE it turns out like my (nad OTHER's situations) == if he REFUSES and starts BLAMING YOU and the RSD and making YOU feel "RESPONSIBLE" -- RUN, and take your daughter and YOUR settlement money with you....

)Again, sorrry abouth the typos..)

Most Sincerely,

Thank you all!
 

I want to thank you all for your input. I just want to live my life and try to be as happy as I can be. Sometimes I think that might be to much to ask for. it is a very difficult road to travel and I know you all have been there in some way shape or form. Again thank you.

Tracy