I'm very upset about possible rent.
 

Some relatives want me to pay rent from my SSDI. I am so upset. I tried to reach my case manage, and councilor in the last two days, but they didn't answer the phone, and didn't call back. Now I'm stuck with a sick feeling, and burden that is hurting my chest at the end of the week. Now I may call the emergency services, but they would recommend me to come in there, and who would feed my cat?

I'm in allot of pain, and I can't find anyone to comfort me. I am extremely upset, and burdened. BF:Sigh::grouphug:

Hello Brokenfriend: The Skeezyks would simply like to send some healing thoughts your way with the hope that you will be able to find deep peace within... :)

hi friend.
I am so sorry for this added burden....
why the sudden change in rent/ agreement? do you know why?
Aren't you protected some how?
anything in writing?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Nothing in writing. What was said triggered my insecurity. BF:hug::hug::hug:

BF,:hug::hug:
Rather than put yourself thru all this stress; please give them a call and let them know how you are feeling so sick over this. They may not even be aware what this is causing you.

Please, for your sake; call them asap.


Gerry

Talk to the relatives.
Talking is usually helpful. :hug::hug::hug:


M

I get SSDI. I know how little those checks are, and I can understand why you are so upset :hug::hug::hug:

Do you think that if your relatives realized how little money you are living on, and that you have other expenses (especially the medical expenses), they would have a change of heart? Are you comfortable divulging that info to them?
Of course Gerry is right… they may not be aware how things like this effect you either :hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry you have this huge worry after having so many good days :hug::hug::hug:

I hope that your case manager can help you, and there's a positive resolution to this problem. In the meantime, I will say some good words for you :hug::hug::hug:

Hi BF,
Having the roof over our head being threatened is certainly one of the biggest stressors we can have. I'm feeling your pain over this situation.

As usual, the gang have given you terrific advice. If you are anything like me, when I have to discuss these sensitive issues with my family, I get emotional or teary and find it difficult expressing myself clearly.
My suggestion, if you find it difficult to talk about what is going on or don't want to have to be questioned too much, maybe email or write to them?
As was mentioned, they may not have a clue how this is pinching your finances.
Big hug,
Diandra

can you have your case worker talk to them once they are reached? It might be less stressful.,Maybe they need to know how little you get.
hugs
bobby

Fear, and depression are horrible when it is stirred up, and triggered. Fear of/and or rejection, and fear of being abandoned is even worse when all stirred up together.

My sister, who died last August said that I would not fall between the cracks.

I mentioned rent, or worse to a family member on line. My next of kin seems to have disconnected communication with me. Other people talk for him. I don't think that he likes me. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Oh friend, I am so sorry that you are feeling this way.
insecurities are really hard to talk out of.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

i know it will work out and it will be better
bobby
you are a good person

BF,
 

Sending lots of prayers and hugs.

Mari

Sometimes when people don't want to engage with us, it's not because they don't like or love us, it's because they have a hard time dealing with mental illness…

I think a lot of people have a hard time talking to me because they're afraid to say the wrong thing, or they're afraid to hear what I'm going to say. It doesn't make them bad people, they just don't know any better, and it's their problem, not mine.

I'm sorry you have to go through this BF.
I hope your go-between is good, and is able to help you work this out :hug::hug::hug:

BF,
I really hope you can at least email the family member you had mentioned the rent issue with. At least mention to that person (in an email); that you may have misunderstood about the rent; but since there is not much left over, paying rent would really be a hardship and is causing you awful stress and worry.

Possibly your next of kin may just be uncomfortable communicating himself/herself and it has nothing to do with liking you or not.

Hopefully prayers and our concern will give you the added confidence to get this settled asap.

Gerry

yes friend I think what ger has said makes sense.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

i think a case worker for a go between is better because there might be the embarrassment factor working in your favor if there is one

That is a good point Bobby.

Also its not a family member who is in between both sides.

So I agree to the case worker also.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I don't want anyone to be embarrassed. I just am worried about my security. I don't wish anyone ill will in the circumstance.

I seem to freak out very easily. I wish that I didn't. It's hard to have a rational view of the whole situation when I'm freaked out, and don't have all of the facts. It's also bad if someone else that is trying to help doesn't have all of the facts, and they start to judge.

I should not try to fill in the blanks, because that's when the imaginations can be rampant, and the worse case scenarios shatter my thoughts. This happens worse at night.

Communication, patience, and love should be a factor in this situation. Assurance, and comfort should be addressed for me to not be at my wit's end.

I am getting so tired of my mental heath challenges, and hope that they will have compassion on me. I didn't stand in line so to speak to have these mental health challenges.

In the world that we live in, it's difficult to receive compassion from other people when they know that you are struggling with mental health challenges. Some of the words used are not very sympathetic. This is what I have experienced all of my life.

It's very painful when you heard someone giving their opinion of you behind your back when they don't think you are around. BF:hug::hug::hug:

It is not fair that we must carry these burdens throughout our lives. Life would be easier if people were better educated about mental illness and more compassionate :hug::hug::hug:

I hope that your relative finds that compassion and you can put your rent worries to rest soon :hug::hug::hug:

My deep fears have come to the top that were submerged deep in my subconscious. Am I Going To Be Abandoned? Are they going to cut the umbilical cord? BF:Noooo: :hug::hug::hug:

Dear BF, :hug::hug::hug:

Those are fears that reach our very foundations.

Do you have a case worker or pnurse who can help you right now?


M

BF
When you write fear of being abandoned; I wonder if you, without meaning to, you subconsciously appear to be stepping aside and not reaching out to them. Do you try to stay in touch with your nieces? Maybe your fear of rejection is holding you back?

It is so sad trying to figure out or come to conclusions on our own and seem to be unable to stop these thoughts from taking over. It really has to be a downer for you.

I wish there was some way to build up your self confidence. Know you are very important . Maybe in some way, I have been there myself and can identify with your emotions.

You are in my prayers.


Gerry

I seemed to have upset her last week. I don't want to do it again. I don't know what to do.

For whatever reason this has frightened me, and shaken me to the core. I'm more frightened than I was yesterday. I wish that my emotions would level out. It's like a continuous burden that I have no control over.

Thank you all for the prayers. BF:hug::hug::hug:

BF,
I know what you mean. That's too bad. I felt like that after I spoke with my brother a couple of weeks ago; I didn't mean to; but I think he was upset with me.

Sometimes we make what might never happen feel like it did and put ourselves through some very frightening feelings. There are times I am able to make myself push the fear away and convince myself I will deal with it only if and when it happens and not before.

When it gets too bad; I try giving it to God. He never sleeps.


Gerry

I know how it feels when fear and anxiety take over. I try to manipulate myself, and when I start having overwhelming fears, I try to remind myself that it's only catastrophic thinking, and sometimes that helps a little bit, at least for a little while. But sometimes there's nothing I can do about my anxiety disorders but call my pdoc, and she ups my meds. I know that you are dealing with situational anxiety right now, but could you call your pdoc and ask about better med control?

I do a lot of texting because I can edit myself better. If someone seems upset with me, I can always look back over the text to try to figure out where things went awry. Is texting an option for you?

I try not to mention my anxiety or bipolar disorders to anyone except one or two people. It's hard not to share that part of myself, but I find that people push away if I do.

I wish there was some way I could ease your fear and anxiety :hug::hug::hug:

I just cannot seem to get rid of these fears. I have been wrestling through three major fears. They seem to expand at times when I'm dealing with one. I cannot seem to think clearly, but my mind is unclear, and deep in my chest is a group of stunning fears that I cannot seem to shake. No one wants to hear my problems, and concerns in the family who I have left. My Dad, Mom, and sister have passed away, now my bol, and nieces don't want to comfort me. I feel alone, and cannot seem to unburden myself from my concerns. I haven't felt this insecure in years. I've been scared for more than a week now. BF:confused::hug::hug::hug:

I hope your scared feelings lighten up.

bizi
(((((HUG))))

you have God. that is all we really have
Bobby

BF,

So sorry you are having this constant fear.

Just a thought; you mention bol and nieces don't want to hear your problems and concerns;
Have you tried asking them how they are doing? I wonder if they may be a little hurt and think you may not seem interested in what problems they are dealing with.

But one thing for sure here at NT; we are all interested in one another and want you and others to share their concerns. But we are a different sort of family here at NT. That's what makes this site so special.


Gerry

That's a good point. BF:grouphug:

Hi BF;

Are you feeling any better??

Sometimes just writing down a whole bunch of thoughts or things you are thinking about or want to share/discuss might lighten up some of the heaviness you often feel . We are here for you.

Do you have any special interests; reading, art, writing, etc.?

Gerry

I'm freaking out. I just can't seem to feel better about this. I forgot how bad this gets, and how bad fear feels, and causes the mind to freeze. I felt just a little better yesterday, but it all came back today.

My sister has died, and now my bol thinks that I can just do things myself.
My sister said that things would remain the same for me before she passed away. Well causing me to go financially ship wrecked is not what she would have wanted. I can't see the end of this. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Dear BF,:hug::hug::hug:

I am sorry that you are suffering.

Please contact your health care people. They might be able to help you.

M

you need professional help now and God.a way will appear--a new gentler way

BF,
Your Faith in Jesus Christ and his Heavenly Father will give you the strength to lessen this crisis you are dealing with. Reading scripture verses at this time will give you peace of mind. Know He is with you all the days of your life. You are not alone.


Gerry

I'm feeling a little better right now. I seem to be going in, and out of a cluster of strong emotions.

It doesn't make any sense. These strong fears started when I was a teenager. These emotions seem to be paralyzing my mind.

My digestive, and intestinal track is being torn up by these emotions. I can't eat very much right now, but that is a good thing. I need to loose weight anyway. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Friend,

These feelings as you say are not your fault. You did not
get in line for these.:hug::hug::hug:


M

BF;

At least there seems to be a bit of a reprieve.

( I was just about to close the compute down, but decided to check if you had done additional posting.. Im glad I did.)

Pray you sleep well tonight.


Gerry