new appointment with neurologist
 

next wednesday at 2:15. I stopped going to pt a couple of weeks ago. my legs started hurting and i was having trouble walking. Up to then I was getting better.
Now after no pt they don't hurt. I thougt it best i see the neurologist before i decide what i should do about pt.
I am really depressed again and lonely. I dreamt i was back in fiji.It was sad.
I spent about three months there and there was a coup. It was a fascinating time but it wasn't a fun holiday. then when i woke up started thinking about how much of my life i have wasted. my bipolar helped me make a lot of bad
decisions. so much of my life was wasted. I don't know if i could have helped it or not

I don't think that I knew that you lived in figi.
good luck with your appointment wednesday.
bizi

I'm glad you are going to see your neurologist. Maybe you can mention the irritability you are experiencing when you see her?

I feel like I made many bad decisions, have wasted a lot of my life, and didn't take advantage of the opportunities I had either :hug::hug::hug:

Looking back, I realize a lot of that was driven by bipolar disorder. I was a ****ing mess, and without (effective) treatment, I can't see how I could have been able to get my life under control. I imagine the same is probable true for you, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

I can't believe you lived in Fiji for three months while there was a coup! You have traveled a lot, and must have a lot of great stories. You must have a lot of pleasant memories as well as all of the painful ones.

i will mention the irritability and the deeper depression. I am worried about pudge. I might take her to the vet again. I have a few kinds of food out there. right now she is sitting on the arm of the recliner. she can see it snowing outside. I have gotten friendly with a Japanese woman at the senior center.
pudge just walked over to the food. Pudge is eating. Yesterday we talked a abit about football. she is very bright and interested in so much.she is upbeat. I worry that my depression will turn off everyone. she is always telling me i look nice. I haven't told her how depressed I am. I am beginning to think more and more of going to a therapist. they haven't helped in the past. I really becaame the family scapegoat after i turned eleven or twelve but stil was used for my father's alcoholism. Myra took no part in being involved in it. she told everybody she had a wonderful childhood. she had a great fantasy life. I had the opposite.
I just got more pills. without the extra help they are more. I called up to find out if they included the epic discount. I didn't ask the right questions.
Oh about fiji. I became very friendly with a fijian woman whose husband wa s stationed at the u.n. It was a very happy period of my life. we played tennis and squash almost every day. then I went to fij with them and it all split apart.

i called the insurance company about if they used epic and they said no. the guy was so nice. he called the pharmacy and instead of paying 8 dollars a month it will be three dollars and the other two instead of 14 dollars it will be three dollars. He said they made a mistake. I think I am expressing myself better ad the side effects of the stroke are diminishing. I am thinking more clearly. that is a biggie

This is a great post from you!
happy for you!
bizi

That's wonderful Bobby! I'm so happy! :)

The NY Giants are playing the Green Bay Packers at 4:30pm on Fox today if you want to catch the game :)

The Dolphins vs. the Steelers game is on CBS at 1pm.

i will probably watch. I got on the scale and gained only 1/2 pound. I ate six pints of halo low calorie ice cream the other day. that was thirty dollars. is that binge eating? I will never buy so many in one order. I have been terrified to get on the scale. a couple of people at the senior center said apples were fattening. I have been having two or three a day. Often times now i have been having four eggs a day.hard boiled. I don't know what to do. I asked the doctor for a higher dose of topamax for the binging but he wouldn't give it to me. I can't eat the way bizi eats. I would really gain weight.I am diabetic II. I am hopeless.
on the bright side the side effects of the stroke are really wearing off. last night i could think after a while of a swing jacket. that really made me happy. my memory is coming back too. My typing isn't
I am thankful about the stroke symptoms .

Apples and eggs are good foods.

The health benefits of... eggs | BBC Good Food

Apples: Health Benefits, Facts, Research - Medical News Today

Wellbutrin helps some people eat less.
The best medication that worked for me for not eating was Ritalin.
(Pdoc gave it to me to help me wake up in the morning)
When I took it for a short time last fall, I did not feel like eating -- had to remind myself to eat. It upped my mood a little too.
(Side effect was anxiety if I remember right but most meds cause me anxiety.)


M

thanks..I had trouble with ritalin. I think it was severe depression. I got off it so fast. Now i am on half a dose of wellbutrin since last week because of irritability. I feel so fat. Yesterday I had chinese food. I am really out of control.
this morning i woke up and felt terrible

Didn't you used to microwave a lot of veggies?

I think a nutritionist would be helpful. He/she could let you know what is/isn't good for you, and factor in your diabetes as well. It's hard to know what's good to eat sometimes, especially when people confuse you like they did at the senior center.

I'm sorry that you're struggling with the binge eating :hug::hug::hug:
How is your anxiety? Are you still taking klonopin?

I'm so happy that you feel like the cognitive problems from the stroke are getting better :):):)

I know it is hard to cook for one.
maybe you could invite one of your friends for supper and plan a healthy meal for them, some thing to look forward to?
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

http://carterburdencenter.org/wp-con...nuary-2017.pdf
if you scroll down that is what they serve at senior center but most of time i have their salad. my dining room table is filled with pills and i am always tired.
I don't have many friends. I haven't been in a vegetable mood in a while, a long while. I am still into eggs and coffee and apples and cheese which i try not to have. I can always eat that halo top ice cream but after the other day i think i should stay away from it. that was disgusting. I could have spaghetti and sauce but that is a no no.I could order tuna fish salad. I wish i were back in the vegetable phase.

mari posted an easy recipe for the califlower mashed with cream cheese.
Even I could make this!
Have a good day bobby!
(((((HUGS)))))

apples and eggs are good for you.
I hope you take a multivitamin?
bizi

cream cheese is fattening. i love cream cheese, especially cream cheese and bagels

:hug:Bobby
Can I ask which medicine your taking for Diabetis II. I take medformin
and its what started my weight loss. Now I'm pretty sure its not
doing that as much. But I did go to an dietician to talk about the amount
of calories and the foods I needed to eat.

I can say, I personally don't eat the amount of calories that were suggested
a day. I just have never eaten that much. But I do try eating the categories
other than veggies. I just don't like them other than peas and corn.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

that is what i use

Okay, good luck.

Donna :hug:

I talked her out of going to p.t. she said she saw a huge improvement. I know she wanted me to go more. she was impressed with the way i walked. My blood pressure was 164 over 84. I don't remember it being that high. I had to wait over an hour to see her. I mentioned that. I felt like exploding. My heart was fast. I though i was going to have a heart related stroke. I weighed 224. I told her I have been binging since the stroke

I hope you have a good day bobby!
((((HUGS))))
love bizi

thank you Bizi
tomorrow I go to primary care. he wants to test for something. ugh
love
bobby

i don't know what to do. my blood pressure really came down today on my cuff machine. I think it is correct. that means the medicine like klonopin doesn't work under stress.I am angry at my pdoc.why won't he let me try a higher dose of topamax again. it worked before for bingeing. does he want me to die from obesity?

Bobby
You will get it worked through. And maybe the blood pressure is
just sometimes. Mine will do that and it just takes some work
to keep it down. Plus I take medicine for mine.

Good luck tomorrow,

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i take medicine for mine too ramipril in the morning and and at night. is it and the klonopin 2 n working and the fast heart beat?

I'm so glad that your neuro was pleased with your progress from PT and how you were walking. It was good that you explained that you were ****** about the long wait, so she wouldn't worry about your blood pressure too much. An hour is a long wait. I hate that.

Stress and anxiety can really raise systolic blood pressure (the top number) and your pulse. It has less of an effect on your diastolic (bottom number) BP. Klonopin can lower your systolic blood pressure and heart rate.

I may be remembering incorrectly and thinking of a different drug, but I thought you said that your pdoc reduced the Topamax because it was linked to an increased risk of stroke, but a different kind of stroke. I would ask him to explain himself clearly again as to exactly why he won't raise the Topamax, since it has helped curb your binging in the past.

Good thought Kay.

Bobby, when I get to a doctor's office they seem to take my blood pressure
right away or within 5 minutes. That way if its really high they can retake
it when I might be calmer. I realize that wouldn't have worked for you
this time.

But makes me wonder.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

it was risperdal. he cut in half wellbutrin because of my irritability and let risperdal alone

yesterday was a nightmare. I fasted til 10 for the doctor's and then found out i didn't have to fast.after the doctors. my legs got weak. then my legs went.they were so weak. I don't know what to do. three people asked if i needed help. one helped me get up. then I was near home and another walked me home. she asked if I needed an ambulance. My doorman asked if i needed an ambulance . he gave me water and i sat in the lobby- when i got up he told me to call him when i got into my apartment if ididn't want anybody to go with me,
what do i do.go back to physical therapy? i was doing so well without it. I started doing badly with it

That sounds like an awful day, and must have been scary! I'm sorry Bobby! :hug::hug::hug:

I wish you had gone to the hospital (but I probably would not have either), so that they could have ruled out medical causes for what happened, or tell you for sure if your weakness was due to the fasting or not...
But I think it was probably due to the fasting, especially if you were also a little dehydrated. Something like that is going to effect you more now than in the past. Any residual weakness from the stroke can get worse under the right circumstances.

How did you feel once you got home, had something to eat, and got some rest? And how do you feel today?

How long has it been since you have been out of PT? Have you still been going for your walks, and if so how do you feel since leaving PT?

Did they check your blood pressure at the doctor's also.

I also believe it was because of the fasting. Sounds like you needed something
to eat before trying to go home. Hope you feel better today.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

i drank coffee at 10 so that is not much later than i have my usual coffee. I felt it. I don't know if that is a fast or if it is stroke related. I am thinking if joining a health club. I don't know if i want to spend the money. I have to lok to see if there are any more physical therapy clubs in my neighborhood.
I wasn't terrified so much as resigned

i have a rehab place close by. I might try that; it got good revuews, my hand usn;t getting better

I am sorry bobby, what do you mean that your hand is not getting better?
I think joining a club is a fantastic idea.
sorry for your crappy day yesterday.:(
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I still don;t have good control over and my handwriting is bad and the right one shares a lot, i HAVE TO HOLD IT A LOT FROM KEEPIMG THE MOUSE MOVE

I learned to use my left hand on the mouse because of carpel tunnel.
wonder if you tried using your other hand if that might help?
I am so sorry that you are dealing with all of this.
Maybe you could think about going to see an OT if you have not already done that?
they are the hand specialists.
bizi

When i cipy and paste i hold my left hand over my right hand

I JUST feeling. I don't know what to do. I wish my neurologist was informed.'I might have found one or two. I would rather just cry. My legs are hurting. I feel asleep before the game got intestesting. rats

Dr. Alex Gometz - DPT (New York, NY) - Physical Therapist - Reviews & Appointments
how does he sound

He sounds great!
Wonderful praise from his prior patients.
I still think an Occupational therapist would be best for your hand.
You could go to OT and PT at the same time.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi