Hello
 

I am doing slightly better than I was a few months ago.


1. The new cpap is helping.

2. And I am happy not to constantly be trying new meds -- so much anxiety and disappointment in doing that.

3. Hubby needed to rearrange the the direction of the bed and other items in
the bedroom.
It turns out that the bed facing a different way is working for me too.


I am still being careful about limitations -- no extra driving, working hard to stay focused on the road.
. . . .Limiting contact with colleagues because I know I sound incoherent. . . .

M

that is so wonderful. at last. you have been suffering for so long and so much. at least now you are experiencing a little relief.
love
bobby

I'm so happy that you are seeing some improvement Mari :hug::hug::hug:

I'm glad that the new CPAP is working out well, and that you've been able to work around some issues. Keep doing what works for you :hug::hug::hug:

I am glad that you are doing slightly better.
better is better.
keep doing what you need to do to stay sane.
Glad that the bedroom and cpcp are helping.
bizi

Sending hugs and love. Keep feeling better with things.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I am glad that things are going better for you.
((((HUGS))))):hug::hug::hug:
bizi

Things are only somewhat better in certain areas.
Thursday I cried at pdoc's when I started off the session by announcing, "I am tired."

She gave me some stupid advice that I took to mean I could try harder.
She said it is hard to "do things" but once I start them I might be o.k.:confused:
I ignored her by not responding.
Getting to her office was a minor miracle for me. I had to force myself to do the thing.

F her.


She recommended a blood pressure med that will help with hallucinations.
Treatment of Nightmares With Prazosin: A Systematic Review


I told her to look up whether it was contraindicated for Verapamil. DUH. It is.
She said that we could lower the Verapamil by a little in order to add
a small dose of her med.:Sob:

No new meds. I am tired of her meds -- we were playing with her meds from June 2016 to December 2016 and I am
taking a break from that for now.


M

This sounds so tiring. I am sure you are frustrated as is she.
Hope you have a nice weekend off.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

Sleep neuro says that they are really good. He wants me to do this.
 

I have an appointment re sleep issues with a member of the sleep CBT team at
a medical school with a huge chaotic parking lot Monday from 1:00-4:00 (three hours!).



This was set up over the course of two phone calls and I was supposed to get an email re what building and parking.


=-=-=
. . . not sure if I can deal with contacting them by phone Monday. Feels hard.

M

I hope you are able to rest this weekend.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I don't blame you for being frustrated/upset/****** off because your pdoc was insinuating that you're not trying hard enough. That and the stupid advice must have been hard to ignore. I give you a lot of credit for that.

3 hours is a long time for an appointment. I hope that you're able to getting the information you need early Monday so you don't have to worry about it all day, getting there isn't a bigger ordeal than it needs to be, and so that it makes the appointment itself easier :hug::hug::hug:

Hubby is going to drive me to the appt.

The parking lot at that place is huge and disorganized.

Hubby does not know the place any better than I do but he might be more focused than I am.


M

I'm glad he is driving you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

When I got to the psychology building, the people at the desk said that I had no appointment.
They also said that no one from my team (CBT Insomnia) was there at all.

Eventually they called someone to tell me that my appointment was next week (in seven days.)
What a wasted day.

=-=-
There is a good chance that I messed up the date. There is an equal chance that
the girl who first called me to make the appt messed up -- she is the same one who
did not have anyone send the email with the parking/driving instructructions.

I am not going back. . . .told the folks to let the other folks know that I was not
coming back.
=-=-
Just as important: That parking lot was absolutely stupidly ridiculously awful. Hubby drove
but I would not request that he do it again.


M

they sound so inept.sorry

Yeah, I do not know how much I screwed up or not. It might thave been my fault. The "therapists" are phd students training in CBT for sleep issues.


I think that the timing is wrong and that things worked out for the best. IF I deal with those CBT folks, it will be in the summer.

My sleep neuro wants me to work with them.
Apparently the place has
helped other patients of his.


M

I would make the same decision as you whether or not it was my screw up.

There were so many factors working against you between the email, the parking lot, the length of the appointments, and the appointment date…

You don't need to invest in more stress like that while still working. I think that waiting until the summer before trying this again is a good decision on your part :hug::hug::hug:

Voice mail from those folks:

I was sleeping when that office called me today to "apologize for the mixup yesterday" . .
. . Also to "confirm" my email . . . . .
"afraid maybe we had the wrong email address"

I suppose the email would have contained confirmation of the date and time
of the appt.

=-=-=-=-=
=-=-=-=-=
I am so happy that I have an excuse not to deal with those people.
I do not want to do CBT for sleep.
I even used the F word when I last saw the sleep doc and was walking out of his office.

I said exactly this: "Have you worked with psychologists?
He sorted of nodded.
I said, "They are f'ing annoying."


M

lol, Mari. Agreed.

medication
 

Last night I decided to reduce my gabapentin from 300 to 200 because for a long time now I
have been feeling kind of hungover -- like I have not gotten enough sleep even when
I have -- and having cognition issues.


=-=-=-

A little while after I woke up I felt really weird: lots of crawly stuff (paresthesia I believe). I normally have some of that but it was much worse . . .
scary and uncomfortable. It went on for a while.


The hangover was much reduced. I almost felt clear headed.


M

My pdoc has increased my gabapentin during past episodes and once I've come down I've noticed the dose becomes too much for me and I get the same hungover feeling you're describing. I'm glad you're feeling better since you went down to 200mg.

Did you have a history of papasthesias prior to taking gabapentin?

I used to take it in very high doses (600/1200/1200mg) to treat dysthesias, but it stopped helping a long time ago. It's funny that I used to take so much of it with little or no effect before, but the difference between 300-400mg now can cause sedation, but then again, I'm on an altogether different drug cocktail now.

I hope that the parasthesias were random, and don't become a regular occurrence.

feeling off.
 

I believe that the Verapamil can cause paresthesia too.


I had a rough couple of days.
. . . .Sleepy in the day time and not sleeping at night.
Last night I took Lunesta (a sliver of a crumb / tiny amount) and felt major sleepy from that all day.


Tonight I am making an effort to get to bed soon so
that I can sleep at night and feel awake in the daytime so that I can get
some work done Sat.
I have an important deadline due Saturday night.

M

I hope that things work out well for you Mari and you can meet that deadline today :hug:

I am just gettin g home...was this some sort of with drawl?
bizi

It might have been like a withdrawal.

If I make another cut of Gabapentin, I would do it more slowly.



M

Saturday I had a clear-headed-day with the lowered dose of Gabapentin and without
the Lunesta.

I took a shower and washed my hair for the first time in eight or nine days
(I have been counting)


The only thing I kind of keep up with I am feeling OFF is sort of
taking care of my fingernails and toe nails. I do not put color on them or
anything like that, but I like them short and neat and the cuticles in good
(decent) shape.


I missed my Sat night deadline so I will have to make a phone call Monday to
work to ask for a favor.



M

I am sorry you missed your dead line.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I took meds at 10:00 p.m. and felt sleepy but missed my bed "window" because I had to brush my teeth as well as take
care of a few things for tomorrow.


I took a tiny amount of lunesta a minute ago.
I hope that it helps me sleep such that I can
wake up feeling rested instead of sleepy the whole day.




M

How are you?
bizi

Thanks
 

Having a hard time.

And then an extra meeting Tuesday morning.

The staff of the psychology CBT people called to remind me that I
have an appt on Friday.

No.

The guy on the phone was very confused when I told him to cancel the appt that I did not have.

(They are going to invent appts for me???!)

I'm glad that things are better as far as reducing the gabapentin, and you haven't had anymore trouble with parasthesias.

I wish you didn't have to do the dance you constantly have to do with meds and sleep… it's such a delicate balance, and must be so difficult :hug::hug::hug:

I hope things start getting easier for you soon, Mari :hug::hug::hug:

Thank you, Kay

Glad you got it cancelled.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

broke a glass kitchen clock on tile floor
 

Monday night I slept about 4 or 5 hours -- not enough to make up for not sleeping the day before.
Tuesday sucked because after I got home from the meetings, I tried hard not to sleep. No nap.

I even stayed up past the time I should be sleeping, so now if I get to sleep soon I can sleep 5 or 6 hours. :confused:
I feel like I am really close to crazy. :confused:



=-=-=-=

A few minutes ago I took down a clock from the wall because I thought it was set wrong. ( -- I need all the clocks in the house to be exactly 11 mins fast.)

The clock fell to the floor and broke, sending glass shards all over part of
the kitchen tile floor and some on the rug in Hubby's computer room.

I picked up most of the glass with my hands and left the rest with a note for
hubby to be careful.



M

Oh I hate when I break glass...so that that happened.
((((HUGS)))
bizi:hug:

Sleep doc's office called me to ask why I did not go to the appt at the
Cognitive Behavior Therapy sleep place.

I told her about the multiple mix ups in appointments and such.
Also that a week ago I had time, but I do not have time now.


=-=-
She pretended to listen and then told me that she really hoped that I
go back to the clinic because she has seen lots of people benefit.


M

Well, she tried. It sounds like she didn't push too hard, so that's good.

Hungover-ish and sleepy and crummy and depressed most of the day.

I am glad the day is over and I hope for better tomorrow.



M

I'm sorry you had a shitty day yesterday :hug:
I hope there are much better things to come today...