Can't Believe I'm Here - Will These Symptoms Ever Go Away?
 

Where do I begin? For all the people here who have PCS due to accidents, I can not say the same. I had a total psychological breakdown a couple months ago and started punching myself in the head in the right temporal lobe. The police came and I was put in a psychiatric hospital and a few days later the symptoms began. I was trapped, had no freedom, and none of the so-called medical staff even offered to examine me for concussion, despite my problems being on file.

Since that time in March, things have gotten worse. I am currently suffering from the following:

- Tinnitus (one ear)
- Hearing loss (one ear)
- Headaches
- Insomnia - made worse by caffeine or exercise, even much earlier in the day
- Occasional fatigue
- Vivid dreams and nightmares
- Concentration problems
- Some difficulty finding the right words to describe my thoughts
- Bouts of uncontrollable crying (may be PCS, may be my reaction to the situation)
- Feelings of unreality at times

Granted, many of these symptoms are not as severe as others here describe. It has now been 7 weeks since symptoms began and things seem to be slowly getting worse in some ways. Each day I lose a little bit more hope.

The most disturbing problems for me are the tinnitus and hearing loss. The tinnitus is not nearly as bad on average as when it first occurred, but the hearing loss is even more frightening to me, and it is noticeable, although not dramatic. There are definite dips in hearing sensitivity at many different frequencies on one side, and I have my official audiology exam scheduled tomorrow. I am devastated just thinking about it.

I am wondering what the odds are that my hearing comes back. I took a 6 day course of prednisone a month ago and the tinnitus was greatly reduced and the hearing between my ears has equalized. But as soon as the course was over the problems came back. I am going to ask to be put through another course tomorrow, but I don't know if the ENT will even bother to let me try.

I am terrified that the dose and duration of the prednisone treatment wasn't high/long enough and that in the last month I have missed the window of opportunity to save my hearing. To repeat, it did seem to just come back in 1-2 days before, but I am afraid that too many brain cells have died off since then.

Additionally, when I smoke weed to relax, I can't relax anymore as I have increased anxiety in general compared to before, mainly about my concussion symptoms. But worse is that it now amplifies the ringing in my one ear to the point where I no longer enjoy weed. I honestly think there is permanent damage to this part of my brain and my life will never be the same. Added to this, as advised, I can not drink any alcohol. So I have no real outlets of any sort right now. Even hard exercise is out of the question as it actually makes it harder to sleep, and if I have caffeine one day I wind up depressed and crying the next as a compensatory response. And I am talking normal amounts of caffeine.

I am looking for support and reassurance of any kind that these symptoms will improve with time, especially the two emphasized above. I am disturbed by the others, but they are more manageable. Hemp oil helps me sleep and the headaches have actually improved somewhat over the past week, but they barely respond to pain killers and sometimes are made worse by them. It is funny how one symptom will improve and another will emerge anew.

Anyway, as many of you have written on here, post-concussion syndrome has been the single worst experience of my entire life. It has devastated for now my hopes for a normal life in the future. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed that I did this to myself, but life has hit me so hard in the past few years in various ways that I eventually just snapped. I am afraid to tell many of my closest friends what happened, and repeatedly explaining yourself to doctors is humiliating at best.

Now things are much worse than before this happened, and I break down crying several days a week. I do not have a lot of support where I live either, and the people I have around me do not fully understand what I'm going through or what it is like. They just say crap like "hopefully it will go away." But since I am not full of any hope, these are just empty words to me.

Hi SilenceIsSacred,

I had most of the same symptoms as you. You need to go to a doctor to get your anxiety under control. Once I started to get my anxiety figured out, my Tinnitus and other issues began to improve.

Im still bothered with the disconnect feeling(Feelings of unreality at times).

SilenceIsSacred,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Sorry to hear of your struggles.

It appears you need more help with your emotional responses that the actual physical symptoms. Yes, tinnitus and hearing are big issues but, if pred helps, that means there are still basic functions. If you had lost the basic function, the pred would not have allowed your hearing to return to balance. So, the goal should be to find ways to get that balance back without the pred.

There are anti-inflammatory diets that some swear by. They can reduce tinnitus for some.

You may need to consider quitting the weed. Your break could be a cumulative effect of the weed. Some have experienced such events. Prior anxiety/depression etc. can contribute to psychosis, etc. from weed.
Anything that alters brain chemistry is suspect when there is a head injury. If you smoked weed to reduce anxiety, it suggests you already were sensitive to anxiety. A concussion magnifies that sensitivity.

Where there any things going on that helped trigger your event ?

Maybe some CBD with low THC (60% CBD, 3% THC in one strain) would be OK.

Hemp oil can contain high levels of toxins/herbicides/insecticides, depending on the source.

I doubt much could have been done in the psych hospital to treat your concussion. Any dangerous symptoms would have been noticed. Plus, the drugs used to settle a patient can mask or mimic concussion symptoms.

Do you have your medical records from the hospital so you know what meds they gave you ? It would be good to have such records.

You would benefit from finding a therapist/counselor who can help you sort things out and plan a way to move forward with your life. Many of us live with tinnitus and other persistent symptoms. I've had it for decades. Right now, my tinnitus is much louder than the fan in my laptop.

You need to accept that you will be riding a roller coaster of symptoms for a while. Learning to recognize triggers will be a big help. Doctors are not much help. We need to listen to our bodies and brains and learn how to take care of ourselves.

My best to you.

My weed consumption wasn't much, only a gram or so a week. I do not at all think this was the cause. I am not prone to psychosis, and I didn't smoke weed to reduce anxiety, really to reduce boredom and make food more pleasurable. I think the weed was pretty much a wash.

I refused any medications in the hospital because they just make you dependent on them and I had gone down that road before and just wound up a zombie.

The hemp oil I ordered from amazon and it is sourced from Colorado according to the label.

Ironically, I was ready to move on with my life when I got out of the hospital. But my symptoms continued and new ones began to appear.

I am seeing a counselor right now. But I think the anxiety is just being overwhelmed by my situation in general, and the weed is amplifying issues which did not used to exist until the concussion hit. Then again I cry uncontrollably several times a week, and it is difficult to tell how much is a physiological result of the concussion and what is merely a normal reaction to my situation.

The most difficult thing right now is not having a lot of social support where I am living, as I have realized I NEED the support of others more than ever right now and suddenly feel very alone.

The one thing that seems to help my tinnitus die down for many hours is lots of extra sleep. Thankfully I am mostly unemployed right now and can afford to sleep a lot extra if need be as I have support from my family. The one and only good thing that has come out of this so far is that my appreciation for my family and friends has massively increased.

Right now I am taking fish oil, turmeric, and neurotrophin PMG (recommended by my accupuncturist).

Good to know you refused meds. A common psych med is a benzodiazepine (Valium, Ativan, Clonazepam, Diazepam) used to calm down the patient. They are counta-indicated after a concussion. It's good to not have to worry about such a med making things worse for you.

I recommend dropping the turmeric and finding a concentrated curcumin extract with pepper extract. There is very little useful curcumin in turmeric. You'd have to consume a large volume of turmeric to get a therapeutic dose of curcumin.

Add a B-50 Complex and B-12 (methylcobolamin) and D-3. Magnesium (not oxide) is also needed.

You may be low in serotonin. A 100 mg 5-HTP may help.

Excessive sleep is not good even though it seems to help with the tinnitus. Quality sleep at normal times is important. The brain needs to maintain its normal sleep cycle so it cycles through all of the stages of sleep. REM and slow wave sleep stages are important.

The PCS brain needs good stimulation for good blood flow. Excessive sleep counters this. You need to find a way to keep your mind mildly active. It will also help with your anxiety if you have productive things to keep your mind occupied. This is also a good way to tolerate tinnitus.

The concussed brain is often very sensitive to chemicals, good or bad, so be careful what chemical you introduce to your brain. btw, There is no research that supports that PMG supplement. I'm not saying it's bad. Just no research says it does what it says it does.

Social support can be a challenge. Most people have a hard time understanding PCS and can often discount the struggles of PCS.

The sounds of social settings can make tinnitus worse. My tinnitus is real bad this morning and my right ear just started a second higher frequency. C6# (1100 Hz) in my left ear and something higher in my right like an E6 (1300 Hz). But, the best way to deal with it is to learn to ignore it or stay distracted.

Went to the audiologist today. I have significant hearing loss above 4khz in one ear, the other ear is good. Doctor said my loss on a scale from 1-10 would be considered a 2. I don't totally agree but it is by no means extreme.

Going on another round of prednisone to see if it reverses the hearing loss and tinnitus like before. The audiologist suggested a hearing aid. She said that the nerve that transfers sound to my brain is not conducting electrical impulses well. She said it could be the damage to my auditory cortex itself, but there was no way to tell.

***** ******* ******. I'm 28 years old.

Single ear hearing loss above a B7 or C8, the last octave on a full piano keyboard, will not change your life. Many have similar hearing loss. It is common as one reaches 40 years old to lose hearing in the high ranges. You just lost it a bit earlier. But, if the pred helps it, as I said, it is not totally lost. Resolving the inflammation will help. You may have nerve conduction issues than can heal over time. B-12, folic acid (in a B-50 Complex) and such can help nerves heal.

Please don;t lose hope.

Sorry to hear you're going through all of this. Just so you know, much of what you're experiencing is common, so it doesn't surprise me that you're "here".

It took me years of steady work to get back to regular functioning, after my last concussion in 2004. In fact, I'm just now feeling like things are "normal" again. Actually, they're better than normal. They're better than ever.

Concussion/TBI recovery is a process. It's not always pretty, but our systems are designed to change as we go through life. When our brain is injured, it sometimes needs to "rewire" -- basically a learning experience. We all have to learn our ways through life ("you live and learn, or you don't live long," as they say).

Sounds to me like the worst part of your situation is the fear and anxiety around it. That sent me over the edge a bunch of times, but I was over-reacting to a temporary situation. My own "explosions" resembled seizures, more than psychotic breaks, but they were very much tied to my overall stress level. The more I got stressed about my situation, the worse my symptoms got. I wasn't doing myself any favors.

Also, prednisone is a problem for me - I can't do it. It puts me on edge, amps up my anxiety, and it turns me into a rage-a-holic. It also wrecks my impulse control. Not good. It might be impacting your frame of mind, as well. You may want to reconsider.

Basically, time is on your side. Concussion symptoms sometimes take a while to clear out, but they can. Even my persistent issues I've learned to live with and manage, so they don't ruin my life. They just make it more interesting.

Good luck with your recovery. Be kind to yourself and your brain. These things take time.

Probably should have clarified that I was only on prednisone for 6 days and now for 8 a month later and that'll probably be it. I felt good on prednisone overall and in fact sometimes better than good as some people feel. 20mg/day is a relatively low dose.

Some of my symptoms have been getting better over the last week, including:

- Tinnitus - less frequent and intense overall and not activated when smoking weed or listening to relatively loud music as much
- Sleep has been noticeably better most nights
- Few nightmares or unwanted lasting dream impacts
- Fewer concentration issues
- Somewhat less anxiety, and anxiety amplified less by smoking weed
- Less intense and less frequent headache
- Less prone to crying

The effects are still there, but at just before the 2 month mark I think I am feeling somewhat better finally. But as I said, the muffled hearing is scaring the living crap out of me right now.

Appreciate all the replies. Any support and encouragement helps. And yes, the worry and fear about my future is the worst part of the situation. Were God to drop down and inform me that all this was temporary I would be able to just relax and ride it out.

I did find this, can't post links so you will have to google it. ---

The author is Timothy Hain, a professor emeritus of medicine at Northwestern Medical School. Other than this I can't find any real statistical type statements.

If Hain's research suggests healing in 3 to 9 months, you are still well within that time span. That suggests it is temporary.....

BUT, you continue to do things that negatively impact your symptoms. Loud music is a problem. Even 'relatively' loud music gives me concern.

"Weed causes less anxiety than it did" So, stop the weed.

You say you are not prone to psychosis yet from your comments were hospitalized and have experience with psychotropic medications that made you a zombie.

If I was worried about my future, I'd try to change my present. No weed or loud music. Give your brain a rest from chemicals and sound stimulation.

"Doc, every time I smash my thumb with a hammer, it hurts. I like using hammers. What should I do ?"

btw, Upper cervical chiropractors use Dr Hain's article to sell their upper cervical chiro treatments claiming the common issue is the upper neck. There are links to finding an upper cervical chiro in the Vitamins sticky at the top.

Loud music at this point would mean about 80db at most, which can be listened to for many hours without causing any damage. I can measure that using an app on my phone. In any case the duration of listening is rather brief on a daily basis, as it typically is. And given that I have not been going to the gym nearly as much I am not listening to music on my headphones on a regular basis. Most of my day is filled with quiet, and in fact my inability to get quiet in my neighborhood caused my psychological break in the first place.

I don't know what the emphasis on weed is all about here. It is clearly not causing me many problems. It helps with my nightmares and sleep quality and isn't necessarily bad for your brain. It has anti-inflammatory and neuroprotective effects that are well documented. The fact that it is not causing abnormal amounts of anxiety is a sign of recovery to me. Weed will always cause some anxiety for people who use it, but recently I would use a small amount and anxiety would come down on me like an avalanche. So I reduced my use. The last few days this effect seems to have mostly gone away. If it returns I will reduce my use once more.

Also, I don't know why you would imply that I am prone to psychosis. There is no history in my family or any such diagnosis. I haven't stated otherwise, and I haven't taken SSRIs and other things in over 10 years.

As for the chiro comment, that's interesting, but I did not sustain any neck trauma or anything as I was not in a car crash or other similar event. Do I take it from your comment that this guy is at least considered to be reputable?

The concern with about loud music has nothing to do with damage to hearing. It is about over-stimulation of the auditory nerves that can cause tinnitus. 80 dB is quite a bit of stimulation. The concussed brain has far less tolerance for sound stimulation.

The issue with weed is simple. THC has very minimal value to brain health. The research shows that the therapeutic value is at very low doses, equivalent to one drag/puff of a marijuana cigarette. The neuro-protective value comes from the CBD. The best value comes from ostly CBD with a small amount of THC.

You have repeatedly commented about weed causing anxiety. As you say, that is a well known concept. But, the research says that those who respond to THC with anxiety are the ones who are at risk. Not all brains tolerate THC and the other active resins the same. "But I think the anxiety is just being overwhelmed by my situation in general, and the weed is amplifying issues which did not used to exist until the concussion hit."

I wasn't implying that you are prone to psychosis. I was just attempting to combine your comments so that is considered. Again, the research suggests that there are some who tolerate weed without issue and there are those in who it can trigger symptoms. For some, a bit of THC has an anxiety relieving affect. For others, it triggers anxiety.

Concussions are very well known for causing the brain to be very chemically sensitive.

My comment about Hains related to how many chiros see the hearing issue as likely an upper cervical injury and use his comments to support that. Hains did not do much actual research. Instead, he looked through the literature and reported on snippets of others research.

btw, Your comment about your struggle to get quiet as the cause of your psych break suggests an auditory issue may have preceded your break and hitting yourself in the head. Have you had any vascular imaging of your brain ? Like a SWAN MRI ? Maybe you suffered a vascular injury that resulted in your break or from the injury ? A SWAN MRI can show fine detail. Maybe it can image the structure around the auditory nerves.

You should consider whether your issues are from the head hits or if they manifested before the head hits and triggered your struggles that resulted in the head hits.

Well it's now been almost 100 days since the concussion. Now that I have quit the caffeine, I am, I dare say, feeling significantly better in some departments.

Improvements:

- Sleep quality seems to be excellent - I am able to sleep well over 8 hours most nights
- I am not crying uncontrollably on a daily basis or feeling as hopeless as much of the time
- I have enough energy to run 5 miles several days a week
- Rarely feel any fatigue out of the ordinary
- Am able to read more often without struggling to understand the meaning of text
- Am able to drink moderately without issue
- Feeling depersonalization less intensely and frequently

Problems:

- Heightened sensitivity to the effects of a lack of sleep - brings many of my other symptoms back until I get rested
- Anxiety
- Concentration difficulties
- Headaches are back (although still not very severe)
- Tinnitus has worsened to the way it was before - likely unrelated to concussion at this point

It sounds like you are doing great. Count your blessings.

Many of us are very sensitive to sleep issues. Your brain needs the full cycles of the various stages of sleep to clear the waste from the previous day. Find ways to get consistent sleep is a challenge but a worthwhile effort.

Your anxiety sounds like it was a pre-existing condition made worse by the concussion. Some need meds but it is great if you can get by without them.

Often, concentration is an issue of learning to ignore or even having to turn off distractions, sounds, visual, and any sensory stimulation. You may have previously been able to concentrate with these distractions but your brain has lost the ability to block them out. This is a common issue that many need to deal with. Ear plugs and such can help in some situations.

I was trying to read a menu at a restaurant with a bass pounding sound in the background. I just could not do it. We just left.

Tinnitus is not often treatable. It is best to learn to ignore it rather than fight it. It is a lifetime condition for many of us. Mine is about as loud as my laptop fan, just a higher pitch. Been that way for decades. I just ignore it.

In a very few situations, upper neck issues can impact tinnitus. Finding the right chiro or physical therapist can be a challenge. They are very rare.

It has now been 21 weeks since my injury. Some more good news to report:

- I am having less trouble reading text and processing information overall.

- I have had less of a craving for sugar and have lost some weight.

- Headaches are pretty faint at this point most of the time

- I am handling cannabis and caffeine MUCH better. Before, I would get surges of anxiety from cannabis soon after smoking which might last 20-30 minutes, and with coffee I would get anxiety later in the day and feel mentally vanquished and prone to powerful crying spells the next day.

But in less than a week I have had 3 cups of coffee with no crying spells yet! The degree of anxiety/dread is also less and seems to occur in noticeably shorter bursts, like my brain is very slowly learning how to function again and is able to tolerate these external influences. I am also noticing fewer after effects.

One of the things I've been doing to recover has been taking long bike rides of 15-25 miles. I have a road bike and finally broke it out this summer. I have probably done a few hundred miles in the last month or so. It seems that moderate intensity exercise for longer durations (~2 hours) is doing more for my condition than more intense episodes of running for shorter durations (~1 hour). It could also just be a coincidence.

It still looks like a long road ahead until complete recovery takes place. I may very well actually seek treatment at Cognitive FX in about a month's time. I had a consultation on the phone several weeks ago. Thankfully I have family to support me financially for most of the cost.

I have debated whether or not it is worth going but I am genuinely interested in both knowing what parts of my brain are injured or not working well and improving as much as is possible. I have read as much as I possibly can about them here and wherever else and it seems legitimate to me overall. It will be very interesting to report back if I go through with everything. I should add that although undiagnosed, I likely have a history of several other concussions and many subconcussive blows as well, the worst impact being when I fainted about 7 years ago and hit my head on a tile floor.

I am still taking hemp oil most days of the week and it really does help. I had a class reunion several weeks back and had 4 servings of alcohol throughout the day. By taking extra hemp oil I was able to concentrate and interact with people very well overall and actually had a really nice time being with everyone, feeling mostly small and manageable amounts of anxiety that day and sometimes none. Hemp oil has been a true blessing throughout this and I recommend anyone with PCS give it a try.

So I'm almost 6 months in and I am still dealing with symptoms, but compared to when I first joined things are slowly and incrementally looking up.

You mention cannabis and hemp oil.

How much are you consuming of each and what THC/CBD ratios do they each have ?

Or is the hemp oil a non-cannabis oil that just has Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids ?

If so, it sounds like it is similar to taking Omega 3 fish oil with EPA and DHA although fish oil is usually low in Omega 6.

No idea of the ratio. The amounts of CBD are small. It is real hemp oil from hemp, not cannabis, but it has the Omega-3s and 6s in it. I smoke cannabis and use the hemp oil sublingually.

Amazon.com: Ozia Originals Elevate Ultra Premium Hemp Oil, 25mg, Peppermint Flavor: Health & Personal Care

Omg this is almost the same case as me except mine was from an accident due to my tics/spasms when in an unstable mental state. Whats worse for me is that I went to several ****** private practice doctors after it first happened, and they thought I could not hit myself that hard accidentally to cause a concussion. It was not until I went to a brain research specializing hospital that I was diagnosed with a bad concussion and put on a path of therapy etc.