I am feeling sick and depressed and alone
 

I can't seem to shake what I have. I feel so empty. I am having more sugar than I have had in years. I probably miss having coffee but it was really bothering me. My neurologist said something to the effect that I wasn't going to get better because of my age. I heard the rabbi discuss one of the psalms yesterday over the phone. for a while it was uplifting. he is very scholarly.
I am too tired to do research by myself. I am too tired. last week I fell out of bed and hit my head on the phone. I really feel i am declining. I had a physical a few months ago.
I can't walk much. My depression is also bipolar.

I'm so sorry that you are having those feelings, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

It can be very hard to bounce back from strokes :hug:
You are dealing with new limitations I wish you did not have, and will have to slow down a little. When you're constantly battling fatigue very day will be different… some days better than others :hug::hug::hug:

Was the coffee bothering your stomach?

Sometimes when we are depressed medical issues can get worse. I've experienced that myself. Can you see you pdoc to have your meds adjusted to help with your depression to help with the feelings of loneliness and emptiness you are suffering with?

Can Robert move your nightstand, or whatever your phone is on, so you don't hit your head on it, or your phone, if God forbid you fall out of bed again?

Thinking of you today… :hug::hug::hug:

it is as if i am battling two depressions bipolar and the effects of the stroke besides aging. the phone was on a canister on the floor where I keep some of the cat food in.I forgot how i fell out of bed this time. My head really hurt. I think the coffee did hurt my stomach after all these years. also I was itchy all over the place. I think my stomach is okay now. I am a little itchy now. Last time I told my doctor I was depressed and could he raise the antidepressants and he only raised one by 1/2. I am a bit manic which he doesn't know. I just bought thirty dollars worth of food for mickey, robert's dog.hamburg and chicken. I bought five more books by gayle buck and a few other things besides a great deal on darjeeling tea. I hope it is fresh. I got it at walmart's online.
I am buying more things online at walmart's.
love
bobby who can't seem to adapt
he doesn't know it but I am taking another half of the other antidepressant=I have enough

Bobby

I think you buy things for people because they help you. And in the case
of Robert's dog, you love him and want him to have these things.
I see no problem with once in a while doing this.

And hitting your head always hurts. Sometimes more than others.

donna :hug::grouphug:

if you are a bit manic right now
is it wise to take extra antidepressant on your own?:(
bizi

i am just so depressed

what am i supposed to do. I usually buy things that aren't frivolous.. I hardly go out to eat. I will just buy a lot at once if it is a good price or on sale.

:Heart: :grouphug: :Heart:

thanks. I needed that. Today I am going to try to read. I am also going to buy an automatic laser my friend robert told me about for my kitty cats. that should be fun watching/ I feel as if i am coming down with a cold.I got caught in the rain visiting a friend in a rehab center. finally the motor vehichles cashed my check for license renewal. I am dreadfully depressed.

I'm sorry you're so depressed, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

Buying a lot of things doesn't always mean you're manic, especially if it's the only symptom that might indicate mania. Your mood is very low, so I doubt it's "manic" behavior, but your depression is complex, so it's behavior that you should probably run by your pdoc the next time you see him :hug:

I hope the new laser toy works out. It sounds like it will be fun for the cats, and fun for you to watch them play with :)

Hi bobby,
I too am so sorry that you are depressed. Maybe your coming down with a cold is why you are feeling extra depressed/run down.
Be kind to yourself. extra fluids rest.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi:hug:

I am afraid to run it by him for fear he will cut back the antidepressant again. the only symptom is the spending and I look for what I can buy rather than just spend. In a way it is controlled spending but it is a need to spend if i can. He doesn't seem to care that my mood is very low. He doesn't care that I have had a stroke. He said I was cynical about p.t....I am not good at showing emotion at all. I just bought splenda after buying sugar. I knew sugar was destructive for me but I did it anyways. I think I was looking for a high.
I have a bottle of scotch but was only tempted once.Now it doesn't appeal to me. I am drinking green tea I have had for years.
love
bobby

Bobby

If the toy works, would you let us know what it looks like and were you got it.
And for me at least how much.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

around 17 dollars
 

FroliCat BOLT Laser Cat/Pet Toy - SEE IN IN ACTION! 🐱 - YouTube

AND, YES IF YOU CLICK ON LINK BELOW YOU CAN STILL BUY IT ON E-BAY.


FroliCat Bolt Automatic Laser Light Teaser Toy | eBay

P.S. IT MAKES A VERY LOW GRADE GRINDING NOISE WHICH IS HARDLY NOTICEABLE.
YOU CAN BARELY DETECT IT IN THE VIDEO.

I bought mine at chewy.com because I also wanted to buy some food. their prices are great

I think your shipping right now probably fits your normal pattern, so I guess I would not mention it. Your mood seems so low the last thing you need is for him to cut back on your antidepressants :hug::hug::hug:

I hope when you see him next he will listen if you explain to him like you have explained to us how deep your depression is. Only then will he understand that you need a med adjustment to help you out :hug::hug::hug:

I buy more things I need or use when I have coupons or things are on sale too, so I end up spending a lot of money. I wish I could break that habit…

Thank you for the tip about Chewy, I saved over $15 on the bag of cat food… it was saving about $1.40/lb.

isn't it wonderful. I asked them what if something is defective what is their policy. they said they would send a prepaid package to send it back. some of the lasers don't work. He knows I am not suicidal so I don't think he is that concerned about my depression or at least that is my guess. this morning I am fixated on God and my friend who is probably dying of breast cancer

I am sorry about your friend bobby.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

we haven't talked about death but she had one breast removed but not all the cancer and has three spots on her lungs and is having chemo and radiation but no radiation for her lungs.

I am sorry, Bobby.

M

I'm so sorry about Suri :hug::hug::hug:
She will be in my prayers.

I wish your pdoc would treat you a little more aggressively so you could have a better quality of life :hug::hug::hug: