the depression is worse
 

I feel so empty and alone. Yesterday Marci was over and I couldn't wait til she left. I was very irritable. she said something about playing cards and said she didn't know how too and I became so angry. I don't want to play cards especially with somebody who doesn't know how to play cards. I just wanted to be left alone and miserable. The increase in wellbutrin hasn't helped unless it has made it worse or else not kicked in. I might go for a little walk because I can;t stand it.
Bobby
I forgot the friendly visitor came over on sunday with treats for the holidays. I like her. I knew her from the carter burden center. She is a spring chicken in her middle eighties who is still beautiful with a wonderful figure who always wears jeans and loves animals. Yesterday the social worker called to tell me the therapist is going to call me

Bobby

I sure hope today is better.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I think it was nice of her to offer to engage in an activity with you, but I would not want to play cards with someone who didn't know how to on a good day! I can't imagine how trying that would be if you were already irritable.

I'm glad that you had a nice time with your friendly visitor. She sounds like quite a lady! I'm glad that you got to talk with another animal lover :)

I'm happy that you got an opportunity to speak to the social worker again and are expecting a call from a therapist soon. It sounds like a good time to talk to someone, since you are feeling alone and still so depressed :hug::hug::hug:

The change to the Wellbutrin was recent, so I think it's too soon to know whether or not it is helping :hug:

How are you doing Bobby?

You have been a little quiet... :hug::hug::hug:

I haven't been feeling well. I am constipated. I thought I found a good laxative but it stopped working. My aide vanessa is working out well. she knows weight watchers but I really can't cook. She said she would walk with me. She is filled with common sense and I think she is bright. she didn't do the bathroom or kitchen yesterday because she said they didn't need it. I agreed. they looked as if they had been done so I could fault her. she did the wash a few times and helped bag clothes for good well. three huge bags. she makes me feel like a fool in a not a put down way. Like when i told her I never had a mammography or colonscopy she said don't you want to live? I didn't answer her.
She was born in Harlem but her whole family lives in sumter. I told her a best friend former came from there and we drove through it on the way to florida.
I might ask her to cook for me. She is so natural.
My stomach feels a little better but I am still nauseated.
bobby

Bobby,

That is good that you like Vanessa.
She will be good to walk with I hope.

And you two got a lot accomplished if you bagged up some clothes for GoodWill.

I really hope that your stomach gets better.

M

Bobby
When it comes to an mammogram, in the case of my husbands mom. It was
when she was like 75 I think that they did the mammogram.

She didn't ever have another after that one.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I am not doing well. I am so depressed and isolated and irritable. I have been watching the news and I shouldn't. I can't seem to read which usually provides relief.The medication is just not working. I feel trapped. I still don't feel well and I gained back most of the weight.

It sounds like having Vanessa around will be good for you as long as she doesn't become too authoritative. She sounds very helpful and interested in your well-being.

Moderate constipation can definitely make you nauseous… I'm sorry you are feeling so lousy from it :hug::hug::hug:
Have you tried taking a bottle of liquid magnesium citrate? It will usually do the trick. I suggest any flavor but the lemon-lime.

I was thinking of you this morning when I was having my first cigarette of the day. I woke up feeling so much better, and I wish you could wake up feeling better some day soon, too :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
I was wondering if Rexulti could help you. BUT 1) It's an atypical antipsychotic, so it comes with a lot of potential side effects, and 2) it's expensive (I know you get extra help with scripts tho), so I don't know if it would be a good option for long-term use. I'm not going to be on it for long and I'm getting free samples. Maybe you can ask your pdoc about it? IDK. What are your thoughts about it Bobby?

Love to you today :hug::hug::hug:

I don't know what is wrong with my stomach. I have cut back on coffee. the phillips caplets are working thank goodness. supposedly my being a senior citizen in nyc I shouldn't have to pay more 20 dollars
I went around the block for coffee and met stella-I had trouble walking back. then she mentioned wheelchair-egads. I tried some senior exercises and I couldn't do them
love
bobby
i already am on risperdal. I will ask my doctor because this chemical and maybe physical don't know if
BREXPIPRAZOLE is an antipsychotic. It is used to treat schizophrenia. This medicine is also used in combination with antidepressants to treat major depressive disorder. The lowest GoodRx price for the most common version of Rexulti is around $1,038.46, 16% off the average retail price of $1,243.68. if my plan covers this

I have been having the most wonderful social dreams that are funny. I want to keep on dreaming and not wake up. I guess a Jungian would say they were compensation dreams. I streaded about 7 bags of paper yesterday so finally did something constructive.

I'm glad that you went out for coffee with Stella :)

Some people buy wheelchairs to use when they have to go places that require long walks, but sometimes when people get them and stop walking altogether. I know you don't want that. Have you heard anything about the home PT? Maybe it's time to light a fire under your PCP's ***.

I have never heard of Brexpiprazole (what have you heard about it?), but maybe it is time to talk to your pdoc about it and some of the other meds out there. Your cost for anything would be much lower than $1K+.

I'm so glad that you are having pleasant dreams :)

I think that is the generic name of your new drug. It said causes constipation and weight gain. I will be patient and wait for her. I see my primary doctor on the fourth and ask him if he would approve of a home p.t.
the dreams are really wonderful!

Stella reminded me of cabbage soup

Yes, Brexpiprazole = Rexulti
--received FDA approval on July 13, 2015 for the treatment of schizophrenia, and as an adjunctive treatment for depression.



M

How do you make your cabbage soup?


I have not made it a long time.


M

I love cabbage! I would like to know how to make the soup, too.
Cabbage is roughage, so would probably be good for your constipation. Is that why Stella mentioned it?

I'm hope those pleasant dreams continue, Bobby :hug:

Thank you, Mari.
I usually know the generic names of the meds I take. I have no idea why I didn't even bother to check this time… maybe it's because it came in a sample pack vs. in a prescription bottle with a generic name on it with an accompanying info pamphlet.

her recipe was simple- garlic, celery and carrots I think. she mentioned it as a healthy meal and it is cheap and I like it. I will ask her again about the soup.
it also is an attempt to lose the battle of weight! I didn't think about constipation.
today I feel okay so far. I shredded so many papers yesterday I finally felt I accomplished . I even took out the vacuum cleaner to pick up the shreds that didn't make it to the bag. I almost broke again by putting too much paper in it.
did you know that amazon has a policy if for thirty days the product stops working you return it and they send you a new one if you wish.
I have showed a little confusion twice in the past three days. I just haven't been the same since the stroke.
wish me luck about the depression
love
bobby
cabbage soup diet - Google Search

i am still not depressed. I wonder why and for how long

Wow.

I hope you have more good days.:)

Mari

I still feel good! I am looking forward to christmas. marci brought me a piece of black cake- it is Jamaican- it is awesome. we are going to split one.
black cake jamaican - Google Search
the cabbage soup was good - I pigged out

I think I am a bit manic. I keep on thinking that a lot of non violent prisoners should be released and the money saved go to the future health care plan.
I don't know why they don't do that..also educate them in skills where they can get jobs now. If you have stolen a lot of money from greed keep them locked up.

I wish I knew Amazon's policy about the paper shredders. I bought one a while ago, used it as directed, and it pooped out on me after about 2 weeks. I have a bunch of stuff I need to shred, but don't want to spend the $$$ on a new one at the moment…
Doing that is such a tedious PITA, so good for you for doing it, and cleaning up all those messy bits. Be careful vacuuming tho :hug:

I wonder… does stella use veggie stock in the cabbage soup? I supposed chicken stock/broth could be good as well.
I'm glad the soup and the cake were good! :)

Are you still dealing with insomnia? You have already been battling fatigue and have mentioned some cognitive issues from the stroke, so lack of sleep could cause some confusion. I hope that's all it is :hug::hug::hug:
Sometimes I get really confused when I am overtired, and Corey will tell me it's time for me to take a nap/go to bed.

I hope you are feeling better today :hug:

if you something from amazon and it breaks within 30 days you send it back (they pay) and you get a replacement. that is what I did. I almost broke the new one by putting in a couple of extra pieces of paper. I was finally able to get them out. the first I finally got them out but then it no longer worked.
My sleeping is irregular. the other night played with abby and the laser in the middle of the night. I usually sleep with the tv on. I like brian williams and his show at 11 and then it repeats.
I am a bit manic.bought another pair of pants. spent two hundred dollars on my website yesterday ooch-I am slightly racing. thinking of joining netflix -saw robert redford talk about his latest movie and i think it is on netflix.
stella didn;t mention stock. Marci used chicken and beef bullion.
the cake was totally outrageous. I can send away for one for fifty dollars. I might now wait til xmas which marcia gets it. I have to see how many more cognitive issues happen. I was really thinking the worse.

We have Netflix and like it. There are a lot of documentaries if you are a fan of those.

Stock is richer in taste than broth but they usually have little to no seasoning so they can be used in pretty much anything. Bullion has a lot of flavor, and usually does have seasoning, but it has a lot of salt in it.

I guess it was the manic side of me during the height of that episode that was buying things here and there and it really added up. Some of it was essential, some not. I don't even want to say how much money I blew through.

Sometimes depression and anxiety can contribute to cognitive problems. I think it's worse for people who have medical problems…

I hope that you are able to get more sleep, Bobby and you don't have to worry about those problems- whatever the reason :hug::hug::hug: