third day and i am not depressed
 

even with a stomach ache I feel good. I wonder how long it is going to last. I am going to sign up for netflix and watch the redford fonda movie-first movie i wanted to see in so long

I am glad/happy for your being in a better mood.:)
Getting netflex is a great idea!
bizi

I would have to watch it on my tv. It is a love story about two older people who thought that love would never happen to them again. It starts on the 29th. I have been in such a bad mood for so long. even my cats didn't help

I'm so happy that you have had some good days, Bobby :):):)

It should be a good one to watch... I think he just married Meryl Streep. I think they had a very long love affair. Or maybe that was a tabloid rumor, IDK.

I hope that your stomach feels better soon and you continue to feel relief from your depression :hug::hug::hug:

BTW, are you still having lovely dreams?

no and i haven't been sleeping much. I took a nap today which is unusual. I still feel tired. I am upset. m friend robert says I am not bipolar because all he sees is depression. the day I woke up manic and happy I left a message on his machine. He didn't call back. wrote him yesterday to say I was still happy no response. also no response from stella. big response from alice.
My stomach feels a lot better. I took two laxatives and had a lot of cabbage soup. I guess I am irritable but not depressed

I wonder if it was the extra wellbutrin but he only raised it 50 a day and 50 a night.still not remembering the dreams. fell down again but didn't hurt myself/ partially to do with balance.
Heard fantastic news last night in email. our super is coming back. he is the best and i adore him. he resigned and gave the building conditions for him to return. the president of the board resigned, cecilia and i are going to celebrate and go for coffee this morning.

Lovely news that your super is coming back.

Enjoy being with your neighbor.


M

thank you. this guy is so nice. when i went to say goodbye to him and he said there was a chance he was coming back I got so excited i kissed him three times!

Kisses are always welcome.

I imagine that the super can be like a family member in some ways.

M

he is just so nice. I jumped the gun. there are still some negotiations but I am sure he will be back. the tv didn't work this morning. the cable box wouldn't turn on. the technician had me press the cbl button and then turn on the box and it worked. never happened before

slept well=had a nice dream=still not depressed even though angry at nephews

I'm so happy that your super is probably (?) coming back. I know how much you like him, and how disappointed you were when you heard he was leaving. It is hard to find supers that residents are so pleased with, so the board would be wise to meet his conditions so he will stay.

I hope you had a nice celebratory coffee with Cecilia. I'm happy you got out for a bit :)

Robert obviously doesn't understand bipolar disorder, and may think all bipolar disorder is like bipolar I where when people are "up" they are truly MANIC and sx are obvious. People with BPII ARE mainly depressed, but they can become hypomanic, which isn't as severe as true mania and sometimes people who aren't around all the time/don't know you REALLY well, don't pick up on the signs. You recently had a pretty long significant episode of hypomania. And I think sometimes you have short bursts of hypomania, which isn't too uncommon with BPII...
From what you have said in the past, it seems to me like Robert is a black and white-type thinker, and probably wouldn't understand that. I hope doesn't bother you too much that he doesn't :hug::hug::hug:

What is up with your nephews now? I'm sorry that they continue to be a source of pain for you :hug::hug::hug:

I'm glad that you are still not feeling depressed and are still having, and remembering, those nice dreams :hug:

robert doesn't believe in bipolar and think practically all people are depressed and just hide it. it is frustrating. I called that morning when i woke up high to tell him i was happy and not depressed and slightly manic and giggled.
I didn't get the responses I had hoped for from my nephews when i wrote them that I was visited by a Rabbi. One said that was nice and did I go to services for the holidays. I wrote back and said you know I don't go to services for the holidays. then I wrote two more emails to him. one said how daddy and I played tennis on Yom Kippur because you had to be a good person all the year.
I wrote another saying it was only once but he did good things like low rents to the tenants in his apartment house for fear of causing hardship or when he was a judge he received commendation from the president for having people who were found guilty buy war bonds instead of paying fines. My other nephew described the visit as something fluffy and i wrote back and said we talked about problems.

Bobby,

That worked out well.

When my t.v. does not turn on or something is off, I freak out.
I have no idea why, but it feels like a big deal.

I am happy to hear that your cbl button did the thing.


M

I know you are not comfortable going to temple alone because you didn't grow up going, but if one of your nephews offered, would you go to services with them on the holidays if they invited you?

It sounds like Robert will never understand BP. I'm very sorry about that because he is such a close friend :hug::hug::hug:
Some people are like that tho. Even people who believe in it don't understand it, and can be very hurtful (to put it mildly).

Are you still just drinking one cup of coffee? How is your stomach feeling?

they wouldn't offer and i wouldn't go. I did go to temple and was confirmed.I am drinking a lot of coffee again though not as much. Yesterday I ate four hard boiled eggs for lunch/ that killed some of the appetite. tonite I will eat meat. I haven;t had meat in so long.

Bobby,

So what is going on with the nephews? They were not supportive

about the Rabbi visit?


Sorry about Robert -- he does not appear to be a good listener.



M

right-i was so angry

It would have been nice to share with them.


I hope you are o.k.


M

I am so sorry that they don't appreciate you Bobby :hug::hug::hug:
They're little $hits.

I love you (((HUGS)))
And I hope you are still not feeling depressed :hug::hug::hug:

I am still angry but not depressed

thank you so much
love
bobby

It seems like you are strong and in a good place right now Bobby :)

That makes me very happy!!! :)

Have you heard anything about the home PT?
When do you see your PCP?

Have you heard anything about the therapist?

Not yet. The holidays just finished so maybe the social was busy. I see the primary care doctor tomorrow to have my a1c taken. when I want to cheat I have nuts. Now I am eating eggs which are satisfying

my mood is slipping a little. I hope it doesn't slip further

Hold on, Bobby.

I hope that you can be O.K.:)


M

Thanks so much. I am really trying. the other day I spent about a half an hour talking with suri. her last scan wasn't good. I talked a lot about God and she said I really helped through the services.

I send prayers for Suri. It is good that you talk to her. I think that
you are good with each other.

M

You have had a good run. I wish it would have lasted longer, and I hope that your mood doesn't decline any more :hug::hug::hug:

I'm so glad that you got to talk to Suri, and you were able to help her.
I will say some good words for her :hug:

thank you. she has a home that has separate sections and can contain two separate tenants. One is mentally off and such a stressor to her.she can't take it anymore. His father won't answer the phone when she calls. She feels new guilt over being a good Jew. I found a couple of articles from Jewish literature saying you had to take care of yourself.I sent them to her and she said hey helped. I am afraid the stress is so bad for her. Her pep talk really helped me.
I really went on about faith rather than confidence in God.
I am still on the run. I tried to watch the patriots game but fell asleep immediately and woke up at 5:30. The previous night I didn't sleep. I was worried about everything. Cecilia clipped Pudges's nails. I was too scared to look at then and see if they grew in. I wrote her 3:30 in the morning to ask her. My hands aren't steady. I really feel handicapped..somebody said my handwriting was cute because it was so small., my attempt at control. Yesterday because of lack of sleep and stress my walking was horrendus and I almost fell a few times because of balance.
I joined prime to get the blood monitor fast. I really freaked out when my old one say 180 or 190. I was so lucky at the clinic yesterday when a doctor saw me.a nurse wasn't allowed to see me. she calmed me down so much and got my blood pressure down to 110. Then another nurse saw how much trouble I was getting around and so did the doctor.The nurse said she was going to see if I could get cheap rides to the clinic,Coming back two days ago I think I spend 22 dollars.

Bobby,

Those were helpful to talk to her about.


M

I write small now too and usually print. It helps. But I can't spell my last name right in cursive anymore. I had to fill out a new signature card at the bank a couple of years ago.

At least in the past, doctors recommended Omron BP monitors. When you get yours in the mail, read the directions and make sure the cuff is big enough for you. If it is too small, it will give you a false-high reading.

I think you can cancel Prime after 30 days. I did a trial before. I think I should just join… I spend a mint in shipping charges anyway.

I hope that the nurse is able to get you into that ride program. Cab rides are so expensive.

I'm sorry that your anxiety is so high :hug::hug::hug:

We're more likely to fall when our minds are on other things, so try to focus just on what your feet are doing when you're navigating your apartment. I had three falls in the apartment when I wasn't doing well.

Love & :hug: