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Horrific slander and hate in PM's
Hi Everybody (please say in Dr. Nick voice from Simpsons....lol)
ok all kidding aside. I have received a very nasty PM and would like to bring this to your attention. I believe I have done the right thing in not answering the PM and sending it to the moderators. I am disgusted with not only the offensive language used in the pm but the tone and the harsh message. If ANYBODY has had a nasty or negative PM it is important that it be reported to the moderators so that they may deal with the issue ASAP and fix what can be fixed so that no more nasty things are said to whom ever they have been directed towards. Being a target of this PM has made me realize that we are an amazing group and have strength beyond belief in our cohesiveness as well as our ability to advise others. I am now more than ever convinced that posting advice here and asking for it here is so special. I thank all of you for your kind words your support and your ability to accept others for who they are!!! Special hugs and love to all, Victoria |
You did the right thing and yes, I think it's best to not reply to that sort of crap- it puts you down on their level. I think I've mentioned on here before what I had to do when I got a very vicious, threatening PM back on obt. I know it's easier said than done but usually in that kind of case it's best to totally ignore it because by replying you feed their "fire". It's kinda like continuing to give in to or reason with a 7 yr. old who's throwing a tantrum. I've learn the best thing for me is to try to bite my tongue and ignore nonsense.
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That wasn't nice
I'm so sorry you were subjected to hate mail. :( You did the right thing and it should be a warning to others who would think of doing this. I haven't heard of that on this forum before and that is why I'm comfortable here. There is a warning thread put up on the RSD forum. I'm glad you are moving forward and this will be put out of your mind. You'll have more room in there for important things. :hug: Hope
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Victoria, I am sorry that happened to you and actually quite shocked. I have only been on for a short time lately but felt this was for knowledge and also, for support. I don't have medical knowledge to share but life knowledge from my experiences. No one should have to have hate or any other PM except positive, sent to them. I get great comfort from this site. Thank you, Linda
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I don't understand some people! I love being happy and pleasant to others! I am so glad that there are just so many happy, caring and loving people on NT that I chatter with each day. I hope this whole thing dosent 't ruin NT. I would miss being here with all of you:grouphug: I am just going to ignore all the negative stuff and keep posting good stuff and asking for advice when I need it. I take what helps me and leave the rest behind...it may help someone else!!I think you are all great here at NT...just wanted to say that!!:grouphug: Dorrie:)
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don't worry. nt is just fine. but these things can happen anywhere. we just want to be sure that nooby ever gets a pm that is harrassing and nt let the mods or admin know.
that is the only way we can do anything about it. all you have to do is hit the Forward button and pick who you want to send it to. remember...i am always just a pm away. :grouphug: and once again...thank you victoria for sending it to me. :hug: |
Hi Victoria! There is absolutely no reason for ugliness on this forum or any others. Please don't let the rude actions of others bother you. If it walks like a duck................
take care and hugz:grouphug: |
Not nice AT ALL!
I think Vic probably needs chocolate to get over this nasty event. I think we all do. Where's the monkey with the brownies when you need them??? WE NEED CHOCOLATE!!! |
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Mmmmmm.....thanks, Curious, that always helps!!!
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Neurotalk has been so good to me!!!!
This IS a very supportive, caring special place. I feel lucky every day to be able to come here for the support and understanding that makes me feel like I am not crazy or alone. I try to offer as much as I take, though I am not sure I succeed in that.
I hope very much that it stays that way. Judgment, harassment, and attack do not belong here-either public or in PM. If we feel very strongly that someone is on the wrong path, we can let them know, we can even let them know with strong words...but always in a CARING SUPPORTIVE way. (advice from the heart, as Victoria would say) The most important thing I have learned by being injured is COMPASSION for fellow humans. I am amazed that SO MANY people struggle with problems and conditions even though they look "fine" to everyone else. Having the patience to practice this compassion by being kind to people is SO HARD when we, ourselves, feel so lousy each and every day- but for cryin' in the sink (Alison's phrase!)- we already fight the doctors, PT's, employers, lawyers, and insurance companies for proper treatment- we DEFINITELY should not be fighting amongst ourselves. Every forum member should look inside themselves and examine their own personal reasons for being on this forum- it is a wonderful place for sharing support and information. If that is not your goal, perhaps you should look for another forum to frequent. I love all of you, and look forward to many more thoughtful conversations about TOS and all that goes with it. Johanna |
My thought
Never put anything in a PM you do not feel comfortable placing on the forum to all to see.
IF you have a personality issue use the ignore feature. But, remember, Vic especially in CA, Internet laws are very strong. A person in Canada sending harassing, slander, or threatening contacts via the Internet can face strong felony charges. The U.S. is catching up. Stalking my the INternet is a Felony in PA. BUT, I do think the ignore feature is not the answer for most cases. Personaility issues perhaps, but once personal contact is made or a threat it becomes a different story. This is a secondary action, taken from the public view, under the guise of anonymity and is criminal harassment. I am not sure what NT guidlines are for slanderous thretening contact is but, at minimal the person is on radar, warned of future sanctions, by the second harassing contact an action utilized. I guess Doc John gives a lot of credit to us to take care of things ourself or contact an moderator to help.....But moderators, really the ignore feature is only useful in a personality issue, not when further contacts are made. I hope peace and the event is over and no more future problems for you. Di |
Honestly, and this is just MY opinion, and I'm not an advocate of bannings (especially after how "another place" was run), and I'm also not trying to tell anybody how NT should be run:D , but frankly, I think anybody who sends that kind of vicious, hateful stuff (and as DiMarie said, isn't willing to say it in an open forum) by PM should be banned- at least for a time period and if it happens the second time, you're outta here.....I suspect that the people who would do this probably want to sound all "sweety sweet" on the forum and want everybody to think that's how they really are when that's definitely not always the case.
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Rest assured we have taken care of this issue from the admin end
Although we always suggest that personal disputes be kept off the boards and taken to PM, that does NOT mean we will permit the NT private messaging system to be used for harassment or threats etc The guidelines apply to PMs as well as posts AND emails sent via the NT system http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=1293 If anyone has received PMs or emails via the NT system that are threatening or harassing, or in anyway a violation of the Guidelines, they can forward them to us and we will investigate and if needed, act promptly with appropriate suspension or warning Reporting posts or PMs to us is the fastest way to get action! We usually prefer to keep admin issues off the boards, but as this matter has been open here, we are addressing it openly I would also just like to remind everyone that even when you may not see responses from us on the board over issues, we ARE working on them! We just prefer to try to keep the forums running without disruption, and so tend to work these issues in the background, via PM. I hope this assures everyone that we are ever watchful and alert here, and that we do take swift action when needed |
Holy Smokes
You guys are all so amazing.....love and amazingly huge hugs to you all:grouphug: !!
I am so glad i said something this is obviously an issue that needed to be discussed. I am not really that hurt as I know that this is what it is....attempts to enrage some people......that being said I was courteous and straightforward and me....what else can I be!!!!LOL!! but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your support and your neverending knowlage for myself and others. We are an amazing group and will continue to be so no matter the circumstances!!! love and hugs to all and to all a good day!! Victoria:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: |
Oh Chemar, I wasn't implying that ya'll here at NT wouldn't do anything about this kind of thing- I knew you would- as opposed to how things were/are run at "another place"! Even though we all might not always agree on the different forums, things seem to run alot smoother here and be alot more "well-mannered" because it's been proven here, as far as I'm concerned, that along with treating us like intelligent adults, IF the mods/admin need to step in for whatever reason that "punishments" (and I use that only because I can't think of another word- brain dead I guess:D ) are meted out fairly and not by who you are or who you kiss up to- also, as is/was at "another place".
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Stalking and harassment laws
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When you don;t stay up to date on how things can be handled at minimal we know that the PM can not be missused. I know that the mods are reachable, take time to decide an appropriate action, but above all have been earning their wings keeping things under a watchful and unbiased eye of late on the forums...Must be the heat!. I did want to point out to Victoria that because she is in Canada, if she receives the harassing or threatening Internet contact, that their jurisdiction is seriously criminal and through the IP the offender could have extremly serious repricussions for what they thought was speaking their peace. Anti-bulling in Canada, especially in the US post Coluimbine is extremly serious. There have been teens harassed that have gone into schools and shot classmates, and have taken their own lives. Not only by IM's, PM's, cell phones and myspace pages that can harass poor unsuspecting victims. We as parents have to be so aware what goes on with our teens anymore. I know that in my employment, the thick men with PFA's against them, don't think it is a violation to sent a text message, as it is not a personal contact DUH!!!! On idiot last week did not like how the support hearing went and text it to the wife with PFA!!!! THANKS MS C Dianne |
Victoria,
You've never said a word on this forum or obt that isn't positive, supportive to others and kind. You have also let us into your life and let us share ours with you. We love you. hugs... phoebe:)
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I rarely get here any more but from time to time, I will peek back in. :) Sorry this happened to you Victoria.
I received two hostile/nasty PM's on the old BT forum. I reported them to JL and the Mods there and nothing was done. Those same two people are now on this forum. Nothing surprises me anymore. I am immuned. Personally, I feel forums should be open and no PM's allowed. Lisa |
Hi everyone,
I was on the old braintalk forum for years and I saw a case where the law had to be brought in for threats of bodily harm. JL helped get it done.
I give credit to both forums for how they are being ran. It is not a competition of who runs the best forum. Some people are on both forums and many others along with chat rooms. They are stuck in the home most of the day and have to have a way to reach out to people and this is their way. Even though they might have family and friends, people on these forums are walking in our shoes so therefore people come here to talk to people who have things in common. I agree with DiMarie, warnings at time do nothing. Sometimes we have people on forums that are born with the bullying in them. That don't just go away without councelling. Bullys don't always go away after just one warning either. It's like they don't see that they are wrong at all so they proceed in what they think is right. We do have some great people on this forum and I have seen a lot of support lately with what I delt with. People can read between the lines also and I sometimes wonder if the bullies see that. I too am sorry that you delt with such issues and I hope it's not effecting your health anymore then what you are already dealing with. Ada |
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Signed, DJ, The "NEW" Wizard of OZ |
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Husband was at Hershey medical center this week and stopped in at Hershey and brought back Choco chip cookies to fit a dinner plate!!!!
Hershey Kisses, special dark choco.....Yummo di Here is a cyber gift 5 lb hershey bar http://www.hersheygifts.com/Content/...ges/4943_p.jpg |
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THE GREAT WIZARD THANKS YOU... Peeked behind the curtain didn't you? :grouphug: My wife won't care--takes a lot of the pressure off of her just to be here. I'm glad I've found all of you. Looks like a guy a rarity around here. Had the same situation when I was a med tech in hemodialysis many years ago. Thanks, DJ |
Welcome DJ,.
Although the majority are women we do have several guys here, You all will get along great too.. Just don;t hoard the chocy Oh how about a folgers Choc silk...yummo. I do like my reg coffee, but love that for a good evening cuppo. Again welcome. di |
Welcome DJThis is a great place to be. Sorry you have to be here but everyone is very nice. Linda
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Welcome DJ! Glad you found this wonderful wonderul place. you were right- guys are few and far between - Mark, myself, you, and a few others..... NOT that that's a bad thing ladies :D
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