Making new friends.....
 

Hey you guys,
I think we have touched on this topic before
but I need to revisit here again.
Last year I joined a great gym thinking that I would meet lots of people and make new friends.
Well That did not happen and it is rediculous to spend that kind of money and not go.
So I quit.
I guess I am coming down from my vacation and am feeling rather boring.
THat I am living in a small selfish world.
I need to branch out and do something to get involved.
Would like to make some new friends...people to have lunch with...I eat fast food everyday usually by myself.
Today was different!
I was having lunch today at subway...and ended up talking to strangers about stuff.
2 woman by themselves ...we were all sitting at the same long table but seperate.
It was very odd.
One lady was a construction worker or something like that and the other was a postal worker.
all 3 of us had been in the military which is uncanney.
chit chatted for about 20 minutes before I had to leave.
wow!
I never talk to anybody on lunch usually....(I eat out everyday fast food.)
this is a good sign...maybe I could try to talk to new people everyday.
Try being the key word.
Have you made a new friend lately?
How did it happen?
bizi

Bizi I am so guilty of this one of these days someone will think I am a Kookadook, lol.

In line at a pharmacy, the postoffice, gas pump. I saw a man that was in braces and hand supports going to get his own gas. I told him sir, I am not a nut, I am a retired police officer and I would love to pump your gas, and hope that someone would do it for my family member too.
He was so thankful and we ended up talking about a local recreational area and he said what a nice day he had, for me to enjoy mine.

A psotal worker ahd a wrist splint on and no help in diagx or pain, I know this is a trade that is prone to brachial plexus, upper cervical enrve damage from carrying the bad of letters....I gave her teh name of three doctors that could help diagx her, and told her after 6 months in PA she does not have to see the doc they employer sent her too that was not helping with restrictions....

Like they wanted ehr to quit!

I joined a local club that is active in community doings, we are trying to fund a rec center for the kids, the business association has helped with fund raisers, WE created a local history book, one map, and now working on the railroads of our area and local miliatary.

We meet once a month for luch at one meeting the rec is TUesday nights once a month.
I met gals I can call during the week for references, if they are going to bruch will make a phone tag team, there are guys that potchin if you need to barrow chairs from their church, twll you what a good suggestion you made, how nice it is that you can make the meemting...They became friends, Not like my gf Carole that passed away, but anyone of them can call me or I them for anything!

But, I love talking to strangers and sharing smiles....
Thanks for sharing what a nice day you all had!
We can remember all things happen for a reason, God puts us in special places for a reason.
Hugs
di

Dear Bizi,
My biased opinion is that you are not selfish. I think that you are kind and open and giving. :heartthrob:

I live in a somewhat small world if I only count my friends. I have like one or two. I'm ok with that for now. I sleep in the day and such and have no energy on days I have to go out and can't sleep. . .


Some ideas:
Curves is supposed to be a good gym for meeting friends.
Also, aqua aerobics is a good place to meet friendly people. People in that class talked during the whole class. I don't know if anyone made lasting friends out of it, but they had gym friends.

A friend of mine went to http://www.meetup.com -- you can find cool groups of all kinds near your city/town.

At my work, we have time to hang out with each other a few minutes of the day and talk about stuff. We even worry about each other a bit.
Maybe this interaction at work is enough for me.
Actually, I'm sure of it, because I come home tired of people.

I am in the process of slooooowly joining a Buddhist group -- I've been there three times since last fall but I can see some potential friendships there.

Occassionally (Rarely?) I do talk to people in line or at a shop or something like you with the ladies at lunch.
Your idea to keep finding ways to do that sounds promising to me.

When I read back over your description of eating lunch alone everyday in a fast food place, I can see what you are talking about. You feel that you need more people around you -- not necessarily best friends, but people you can chat with and call occassioinally.

You will find these people. They are looking for you too. ;)
How's that for positive thinking?

Mari

thank you very much for your kind words you two.
Di, You are such a kind soul....i am sorry to hear about your friend Carole....
I have never lost a good friend before...
I am going to go to that site Mari.
Thankyou for posting this info!
Heading to bed tonight...
Thank goodness I work with the elderly, they are like grandparents to me....
I just love them.
bizi
p.s. I went to the site Meet up...it was great!!!
thank you again!

I too have the same problem. I have been so cooped up at my home for the past 5 years that I barely talked to people and hated to do so. Mostly because of my anxiety issues and agorophobia.
Now that I have dx'd with BP and my meds are all set. I find myself being more outgoing and able to be more confident talking to people. Perfect example is going out to CA all by myself a couple of weeks ago. It was scary but not even a twinge on the anxiety meter. Even my therapist has noticed a change in me from 6 months or so ago. I have even gone on classmates.com and tried to find some old friends from high school and college. Just to let them know I am alive. Each member has a guest book and in the past I would have never signed it but now each old friends' profile I visit I sign their guest book.
All I can say is thank you to whomever made Depakote! Without them I wouldn't be typing this at work in my cube.:D

I am more than happy to keep to myself. I have my family. (And I had Angie and Mike...sigh) I am a little worried about what is going to happen in the next few years as the boys leave the nest.

I talk to people all day long. I told a patient yesterday that all my friends are amputees. But it's true. My patients are my friends. Acquaintances.

I should try to reach out more, but that is beyond my ability and wellness right now.

I think you are brave, bizi. (Di too!! Thank you for being so kind. I love it.)

On my way out the door at one of the nursing homes that I go to...I stopped and introduced myself to a manger there. I took out my business card and set my planner/wallet on the counter...spoke with her a bit and left. Took my car to get an oil change and tires rotated.balanced an several hours later when trying to pay I discovered my planner/wallet missing.
I freaked....
Could not imagined wehre I lost it or who stole it, thought that maybe I left it in the last clients home and then remembered about the front desk and leaving it on the counter...I called my voice mail and the woman had left a message that someone found it....I was so relieved.
I raced over there and they had already closed up her office for the day...so I will go back there in the morning to pick it up.
Hopefully my debit card and money will still be in there...but the most important thing is that the planner which has all of my appointments for the next 3 months was till there.
I am so dependant on this system...it really shook me to think that it had been stolen.
Had to come home and take a klonipin was so shaken up.
That is what I get for being brave and introducing myself.....
sigh~
bizi

Just a set back.....just don't set anything down anymore!:D

:hug: bizi...i'm so glad she has it!

i had lost one of mine. oy. it was not a good thing. i had not only my appointments...but appointments for 12 clubs! :eek: my only saving grace is that i'm a doodler. i nabbed up every single piece of paper..envelope...and found many of the appointments. a gazillion phone calls to the managers and i had most of them.

but i learned my lesson. once a week...i stick that book on my scanner and scan the sucker. if i do lose it..i have a back up. hehehe..and i have mislaced it a few..ok..so more than a few times. :o

keep making friends!!! you are encouraging me. i have been stuck at home for the last *gulp 3 years. i am sooooooo outta touch with making friends. real friends. yep..i can yap with people in the stores...but to make true friends...guess i have been burned since they were very supportive of me taking in grandmonkey. :rolleyes:

so don't give up. i won't either. :hug:

Dear Curious,
Making friends has always been so hard for me...
I have a terrible memory and that makes it hard to follow up on conversations prior...you hate to keep asking the same questions....
THis woman seems like someone I could be friends with very personalble. Maybe she and I could do lunch sometime.
I was going to bring her flowers this morning but I don't have my wallet or debit card to buy them...perhaps I could offer to take her to lunch?
I need to do something.
Yes the idea of photo copying my planner is a great idea!
thank you!
bizi

lunch would be a great idea.

it might not be today...lol..but you will have your planner to pencil her in. :D

i had always been so busy with working. around hundreds of people every day. i would say most were considered aquainteses not true friends. we always had huge christmas parties...swim parties and a few that we did couple dinners with. but for the most part..hubby and i just wanted us time..and family time when not at the club.

so...me not being at the club much the last 3 years..well..just call me hermit monkey.

making even 1 or 2 true friends would be a good thing. they would understand about the memory issue. you might be surprised that it won't be a big deal. you are a wonderful caring loving person. :hug:

I picked up the planner, money was still in there unbelieveably. I jsut sent her a nice bunch of flowers as a thank you.
She was not there for me to thank personally.
All of my clients are very friendly and talkative so it is not like I am alone...but it would be nice to have more friends.
I wish the same for you dear curious.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi to all the making friends people.

I have to say, I believe you are all good at making friends at least in one place and way. Right here on the net. I have found that everyone of you is very friendly, compassionate and helpful. To me that is a very good friend.

For that I wanted to thank you.

Many times I come in here to read I have needed a good friend. I find that right here. Reading the post, hearing the kind words you have for each other.

So even if at times, it seems that you can't or don't make friends that easily in life. Know that you make friends everyday, right here when you welcome a new soul into your world so nicely.

Thank you

Donna

I have always wanted to make friends. Its not something I'm good at.

Its something I try very hard to do. But I had no friends many times as a child. So I now as a adult have a inferior complex that no one wants to
be my friend.

So to a extent I've built a wall and at times I can't seem to let it down.

So I work very hard to keep the friendships I develop, and when a friend
just up and leaves that bode, it really breaks my heart.

So I then have even more trouble going out again and trying.

So its even more a pain.

Donna

I wish we all lived closer to each other....
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I agree Bizi

But you know just being here on the net. Knowing that we are close
in spirit helps.

Thanks for being here and starting such a inspiring thread.

Donna

friends? not sure I want them right now.
 

Hi,
I've been thinking about the friend thing and re-thinking it.
A friend or two or three gave up on me when I got sick many years ago and three very good friends died with the last 5 years or so.

Right now I have (1) my sister for a phone friend, (2) my old college friend I see about once a week (we don't like each other but we are used to each other), and (3) hubby. That is quite enough.

I socialize a bit at work. I spent all day Monday at a colleague's house working with another collegue (3 of us) on a project.

That's all the stimulation I need now. I can't handle the responsibilites of friends and don't want to.

Of course I welcome a change in energy levels.
I would also welcome a change in my sleep patterns so that I am up and awake during the day --
the same time that other people are up and about. http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sunrise.gif http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sunrise.gif http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sunrise.gif

http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sun.gif http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sun.gif http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sun.gif http://www.thesmilies.com/smilies/weather/sun.gif

Mari