the stroke
 

I have been worrying and worrying about the building not cashing my check. I can see it deposited but i missed it.. well it got deposited about the second day and I worked myself up to a frenzy. I have been making all stupid mistakes since the stroke. It is so frustrating . I can't spell and I used to spell so well.
I am so frustrated grwwl

I am sorry you are frustrated.
It is a shame that you have to deal with these after maths following a stroke.
I think Mari had a mild stroke that effected her work some a few years ago. I believe she recovered in time, ask her about that.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I don't think hers was as bad but she is brighter than I am so she could compensate more.. I think my high level of anxiety is also interfering with my functioning. I don't have patience. I just made myself a cup of coffee.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with these types of things, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

I have had a lot of cognitive losses from the MS. I know my anxiety and meds make it worse, too. I get impatient with myself. It is very frustrating and is still hard to accept.

Since you are concerned about the rent check, I would start checking to see if it's been withdrawn from the day you send it out to avoid the stress of missing that and getting so anxious :hug:

You will find ways to work around other problems, and deficits. I hope, as Bizi mentioned, that some cognitive symptoms will improve- at least a little :hug::hug::hug:

I hope some good things come your way soon. You deserve it my friend (((HUGS)))

the check is okay, it was cashed the second day I sent it in. Chase has an alert to show the activity each day. I missed that day since it was so early. I called the management and they reassured me that all was fine with my account.MY anxiety was skyrocketing and I decided to look at my account online. I didn't do the account number right. More anxiety, finally I got a human. He told me which was the account number. then I reset the password and saw the deposited check. all that anxiety for nothing.
I wonder if carrying all this anxiety is robbing me of interfering of energy and i
sleep and getting me more tired of recovering from the stroke. It is over the top. tomorrow i go to the GP I am already worried about my diabetes and oversleeping.

It was small in the summer and I was able to work in the fall. Even then, I had to fake things for a semester or two.

My focus has not been strong -- so sometimes I blame that on sleep and meds when it might be the stroke.

I basically have no interest in anything beyond surviving. (Depression?)

For example, I rarely read.
For listening to music, I listen to one song a few times and I'm done.


So I dunno where to pinpoint the depression, drugs, . . . . .

Also, I really do not care much about things one way or another but I do get
frustrated sometimes.


M

Fatigue is a real b****.

thank you so much Mari. I look forward to doing nothing except playing with my cats and drinking coffee.

this morning I think i took double my pills and had the lowest bloodpressure
112. my ekg was off too. now i have to go to the heart doctor

I think I would ask your reg doctor see you again another day so your readings are more accurate before seeing a cardiologist. ALso caffiene can interrupt an ekg...I think....
lets see what kay has to say.

bizi

the stroke really affected my memory

I hardly slept last night. The doctor didn't call me back. I didn't expect him to.
I can't think of my cat's name but she slept on the pillow next to me. Oh her name is Pudge. so frustrating. today I will try to read. I can't focus much. i haven't lost any weight in three days.

An abnormal EKG is a legit and usually necessary reason for a referral to a cardiologist unless it's something your mdoc can ID and treat on his own. I don't know what the issue with it was, and it doesn't matter. It could end up being something innocuous, but you still need to go :hug::hug::hug:

I don't know if the top (systolic) or bottom number (dyastolic) of your BP was 112, or maybe that was your pulse? If it was the top number, that is normal, and wouldn't be a reason for your mdoc to refer you to a cardiologist. If it was the bottom number, that is definitely cause for concern (way too high). A pulse of 112 is high, but an elevated pulse can be due to anything from dehydration to anxiety, and yes, caffeine.

I hope you feel better, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

it was normal but i never had one so low so that is why i think i had a double dose of medicine by accident and ii don't know if it affected my ekg

I doubt that would have effected your EKG, at least not in a way that would have caused your mdoc to send you to a cardiologist. But he still may just be sending you there out of an abundance of caution. Not all abnormal EKGs mean something serious is going on, but he may just want to have a cardiologist check you out :hug::hug::hug:

caffeine helps me function in general.
I have 2 cups in the morning then a caffeine pill in the afternoon around 2pm.
Any later than that and I think it interferes with my sleep.

bizi

When I've had to fast and have not been able to have my morning coffee, Ive been a f***ing mess! I rely on it so much because of my fatigue because I can't take meds like Provigil, Nuvigil, Ritilin, or Aderrall. I drink 5-7 cups a day, which I know isn't good, but it's probably better for me than taking any of those meds. I drink all that coffee and usually fall right asleep for my 3-4 hour afternoon nap.

But I doubt it's helping my memory. My memory is awful. I'm just a mess in that department, too lol.

That's helpful, Bobby.

Caffeine has positive effect on memory, Johns Hopkins researchers say
| Hub

M

i had to go to the bank. I asked cecilia. she called me when my class was starting yesterday.I told her I would be on for an hour. she didn't call back. finally i just went and was afraid i was going to fall. I couldn't work the keypad. finally the teller asked me how did I want the money. I said how much did she thin I wanted. then she showed me the checked i had written. I had told her I had had a shock. I didn't even count the money. the people were nice. Outside I felt so vulnerable.
it is the pits being alone and handicapped

I am grateful that she helped you. I am sorry you felt vulnerable.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

cecilia said she knocked on the door but i didn't answer

Would you have heard her if you were sleeping?






M

I wouldn't have heard her and if she knocked softly and I had the tv on I wouldn't have heard her, I am glad it was straightened out. She might get a puppy in two weeks. I am so excited. another papilon(sp)

I'm sorry that your trip out left you feeling so vulnerable. I understand that feeling :hug::hug::hug:

I don't know how to deal with it. You seem to be very active outside. I think you are a lot stronger than I am.that is great.
love
bobby

Take care, Bobby.

Wishing you well.



M

I lost a little more weight and hope that will help. I am eating a lot less and eating the south beach diet food for the most part. I guess that thing brought back the depression and worry. I might try to collect all my tax material and bring it to the accountant today. the rent check was cashed.
yesterday abby was extremely playful. she hadn't been like that in weeks. she really likes my therapist.

I haven't always been able to be active out. There have been times when I haven't been able to leave the house alone, or at all, because of problems from MS, side effects from meds, or because I've been nuts. It takes me a lot of time and trips out to rebuild confidence after things things like that. Some days are harder than others now and being around a lot other people still make me nervous because I'm afraid they'll knock me over.

Congratulations on losing some weight! I know dieting can be very stressful tho. People put a lot of pressure on themselves. If it is making you depressed, you can always take a break until your mood improves a little :hug::hug::hug:

How often do you see you therapist? Do you still like seeing her? When is the last time she came?

I see her every friday. the losing weight is an antidepressant lol.she is fine