frustrated
 

my bipolar is raging and is directed at the supervisor who manages aides who come to my house. for the past few weeks only one has come when I am entitled to two. I think she is lying to me and not trying hard to get another one. I think she is passive aggressive, At this point I feel so much rage toward her. The other aides weren't good either but they hardly get paid. At this point I can't stand her voice. Iam going to call her on Monday and tell her to forget the thursday aide and that I am psychic and picking up bad vibrations and the less contact I have to deal with her the better. I am not messing up as much. the south beach diet is cheaper than when I buy regular food and there is no mess or dishes to clean up and sink to clean.I plan to be on it a long time. I haven't gone to sleep yet. I am so angry. My caseworker hasn't seen my bipolar in action. I won't make coffee because there is still a chance I can fall asleep. I probably will lose Marci when she learns that she will be the only one who helps me, that I regret so much

I'm sorry that you are dealing with so much anger right now :hug::hug::hug:

I used to work for a home health agency and it is really hard to meet client needs sometimes because it's hard to retain staff because of the s*** pay, BUT the schedulers in my office could be awful. They would beg, borrow, or steal to get what they wanted out of us.

Why do you think Marcia would leave if she found out she was going to be the only one helping you?

I can understand the rationale behind staying on the South Beach Diet food. It sounds a lot easier. I'm surprised it is cheaper than buying your own food tho.

I hope you were able to get some sleep, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:

I did get some sleep thank you and no longer feel the rage. I was also dealing with memory loss. I couldn't remember my former friend's stepson's name. after two hours it came to me alexis rockman-look him up-he is a fantastic artist-really weird but fantastic.just a minute ago remembered the name of her son Ashley. Eating for one is almost as expensive as eating for two and I wind up throwing out a lot of food. this plan costs comes out to less than 10 dollars a day 28 days a month.I am very messy and will have to try to work harder at that. Marci works very hard maybe too hard. I am afraid it might be too much for her if I don't straighten out more. I will have to watch how she cleans the bathroom. I will try to swifter the floor. My plan to tell Johanna keeps on changing. I don't think I can get her and she will feel as if she won. I don't want her to feel that. It is a hopeless battle. Maybe i will say that I have some great news and that you won, I don't want to deal with you anymore so I don't want anybody for thursday. You have the power and I don't. that will just make her happier.
Marci is working too hard. the rage is back.
I lost another pound or two

I know what to say to her and mean it. I will tell her I will pray for her and I don't want anybody for thursday.

I am sorry that the rage is back.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi
I hate confrontation.....
But I will have a melt down if I can't control my feelings.
bizi

I hate confrontation, too. I may write down what I think or how I feel, but I try to wait until I calm down to address a problem.

If you need someone for Thursdays, no matter what, I wouldn't tell this woman you don't. I would try to wait and see what she comes up with :hug::hug::hug:

I don't think she is trying and she is now triggering my bipolar. On sunday I got two hours of sleep and I started getting itchy. Now i hate her voice. I hate to be lied to. the women usually aren't any good except for using their smart phones

I would just avoid talking to her for now if that is possible :hug::hug::hug:

you don't like the idea of my telling her I don't want a thursday helper and i will pray for her?

I called my caseworker and told her what was happening and all the problems I was experiencing. she said she was going to get me another manager and there were worse clients than me. I told her hat Johanna was a psychopath and she lies and doesn't try. we will see

I am glad that you called your caseworker.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

the rage has come back

Sorry to hear this.

You did the right thing by calling your case manager. Let her deal with that b****. You don't need to deal with that BS.

Im so sorry that you are having problems with anger right now :hug::hug::hug:

How is the reading going?

the reading is going slowly but it is going. got more books in the mail. just bought another pair of shoes. help! abby is mad at me. I think it is because pudge is hanging out on the bed. the last two visitors abby was lovey dovey. she has been ignoring me for the most part.
today I will try to change my heart doctor's appt for next wednesday. we are going to have awful weather and I would probably break my neck.
i am depressed

I am glad that you are still reading, does it distract you from your depression?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

yes and when I stop the depression returns and a lot of negative thoughts

Bobby,

The cleaning ladies, are supposed to serve not only
as cleaners but as a way to have someone in your home checking
on you -- if I remember right.

At any rate, it matters that you have people that you feel you feel
comfortable about having around you. I hope that you are o.k.



M

You are right about the cleaning ladies, Mari.

I'm sorry that you are so depressed, Bobby. I'm glad that the reading is helping. I just wish that you had more relief :hug::hug::hug:

Cats do get jealous periodically. I'm sure that Abby is just going through a phase. Are you making efforts to reach out to her more? :hug:

yes I am. I call for her a lot. she likes it when I hide under the blanket and call her name. she usually comes to me and then I pet her. weird

That's really cute... I guess it's like hide and seek for her :)
Dottie and Buddy love being under the blankets.

My cats are just bizarre. They do so many weird things.