BJ
 

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you! :hug:

I second that. I'm hoping you are getting lots of rest and help and are finding out that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Fasten your seatbelt, sweetie, and hang on.

Attachment 1602

:hug:

happyier days are coming to you...they really are
babysteps in all of this....learning to take care of yourself bit by bit,,
BE PATIENT.
(((((hugs)))))
BIZI:hug: :hug: :hug:

Alffe - Maybe you heard her snoring. :rolleyes: Does she always nap this long?

BJ
When you wake up from your nap, we'll be here to serve you some cookies 'n chit. :grouphug:

:hug: BJ

sending you much love

http://bestsmileys.com/flowers/14.gif

Woke up with you on my mind BJ. :hug:

I don't feel very brave. If I was I still wouldn't be here. I'm severely depressed and it wouldn't be so bad if I could take anti-ds like normal people do. But I'm not normal, I'm BP and I can't take them because they make me manic. I had Lithium toxicity from being so dehydrated and that didn't help matters much.

I'm still so tired it's unbelievable. But I think we're making progress on what's going on inside my head. I had a plan, which I now realize. that was when that last petal fell off that one Rose of Sharon I was going to see my mom. that's why I had to get into the hospital. But I'm afraid if I go home and all those petals are gone, I'll do it. I need to get my focus on living again, a reason. We talk and talk and talk and then talk some more. I'm hiding something from myself and we can't dig it out. But as I'm typing this, things are going through my head a hundred miles an hour. That's why I'm so tired.

Thank you, once again, Alffe for starting this and everyone for thinking of me.:hug: You're all very special to me even though I haven't offered my support like I should.:o But I plan to make sure I do once I can sort this all out.

I love you guys and I miss you so much. :grouphug:

BJ!!!!!! It's so wonderful to hear from you! Depression in itself can make us very fatigued. It sounds like you ARE making progress and that's a very good thing.

Much love and lots of hugs.

it's gotta be hard, not able to take meds to even numb yourself outta pain...

it's gotta be hard, to be severely depressed and that every corner seems like dead ends...

it's gotta be hard, to miss your loved ones and feel like the only reason that you are alive, is that you are alive and that's it...without any explanations...

it's gotta be hard, to stay alive and wishing you were dead but staying alive because you wish you were dead...make sense??

but...

it's gotta be good, that you are here posting and letting us know that you are alive...

that takes a LOT of guts...

it is harder to stay alive than it is to be dead...it takes a lot of guts to live than it is to die....

hang on tight...

:hug:

There's our girl! :hug:

You know BJ, moi is right, it does take guts to stay alive! You have a lot of hard work ahead of you and we're all here pulling for you.

Of course you're tired...depression is exhausting as is fighting for your life.
I admire you so much to doing this!! :hug:

BJ,

I was just a few years ago that i was in the hosptial at this time of the year, fighting the demons in my life and trying to find a reason to stay alive... I remember it so clearly. If i can do it so can you. Its not easy, but i know you'll tap into that strength that is inside of you and you'll come through this experience a stronger person. We love you..... {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
vicky

BJ

Hopefully, those pedals WILL fall off. That is what autumn is for. We ALL fall down sometimes.

All you can do is dust yourself off, take a bath, then go back out to play again until you take another tumble. It's the only way to learn how to walk on your own. :o

I'm trying so hard Kathy you have no idea. I wish it was just so easy as dusting myself off and starting all over again. There's something inside of me that's eating at me. Believe me I want to go home. I want to work in my garden, I want to see Benton, I want to feed my ferals. I want to be me.

In hindsight it would have been so much easier if I had done "it". Everything was all lined up, ready to take. But now I'm living this nightmare and talking and talking and I'm so worn out.

I did manage to get out for 2 hours today. I went out to lunch with a girl from work. I really felt like running for the hills. But I know and realize I'm unstable.

I only have one choice and I just signed the consent for it. Please God if you're listening make this work.

But I hope you won't feel any less of me for doing this.

I'm not wondering but I wonder if you don't mind if I leave :grouphug: for the room.

I don't have enough words for you (((BJ))). I'm just always very glad to see you post and catch up. I hope your consent is for something that will heal you. :hug:

I want to encourage you to continue being brave....
you will get through this....
you really will.
I am crossing my fingers for you that "that" will help.... and you will be feeling better as a result...soon.
((((HUGS))))
bizi:hug: :hug: :hug:

BJ...I am saying a little prayer here that you are signing a consent for ECT treatment. You're body has been so resistant to drug theraphy and I know the medical field has made great strides in shock theraphy...it isn't the nightmare of "One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest".

What ever helps you is the path for you to take!! :hug: You are a brave girl and I want to keep you in my life. Keeping you in my prayers and in my heart.

My time is almost up but yes it's ECT. I'm so embarassed to say this. But nothing seems to be helping. I hope this will do the trick. I'm scheduled for 5 starting tomorrow at 7:30AM.

I'm so afraid because I know there's a lot of side effects from this. But I felt there's no way out since I can't take anti-ds.

I can't thank you all enough. I don't know what I would have done without you guys. Well yes I do, I would have done "it". But as of this day, I'm still here, tired but here. :(

Please do not be embarrassed by this BJ...you won't be the first person to be helped by this and yes, side effects difffer with different people,,memory loss short term or longer for others but I'm sure you've been told all this.

You are doing the right thing! Have to say again how much I admire you.
Love, Alffe

:hug:

ect could be answer and can help. yes it does have possible sude effects that can be adverse. but bj, side effects don't happen to everyone. you are doing what is right for you bj.

like alffe, i admire you. you keep reaching out for help. we will always be here.

rest well my friend. you are in my prayers. :hug:

:grouphug: for everyone. we are such strength in numbers.

Dear Girlie,
(((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi:Heart:
I know that ECT has been a life saver for many good folks just like you.

(((BJ))) We will all be there with you. We already are. :hug:

Vagus nerve stimulation
http://www.vnstherapy.com/depression/hcp/


http://www.vnstherapy.com/images/hcp_header_VNSTRD.gif In this section of VNSTherapy.com, you will find the latest information regarding the adjunctive use of VNS Therapy for treatment-resistant depression (TRD). You will also find information on patient identification, educational materials, and resources to help you with reimbursement. Please use the navigation bar on the left side of the screen to learn more about VNS Therapy and available resources.
UNITED STATES INDICATION FOR USE:
VNS Therapy is indicated for the adjunctive long-term treatment of chronic or recurrent depression for patients 18 years of age or older who are experiencing a major depressive episode and have not had an adequate response to four or more adequate antidepressant treatments.

Now, VNS Therapy gives you a new strategy for your patients with TRD
VNS Therapy is different from other treatments for depression. With a unique mechanism of action, it provides efficacy that improves over time and is sustained long term.6,7 Patients also experience quality-of-life benefits that improve over time.8 Unlike many other treatments for depression, VNS Therapy provides assured adherence and high continuation rates, as well as an impressive safety and tolerability profile , with side effects that typically decrease over time.7

((((((((((((((BJ)))))))))))))))))
:hug:
:Heart:

[QUOTE=Me BP?;135728]
But I hope you won't feel any less of me for doing this.
QUOTE]

BJ

Is it okay if I smack you upside the head now? :p I couldn't POSSIBLY think any less of you for seeking treatment. You do what you feel you need to do to survive. We're just here to support you because we know how tough that road can be. :hug:

You're the one riding the bike in this marathon. We're just the strangers along the roadside handing you water. Do with it what you like - drink it in, splash it on yourself or your opponent, or splash it back on us. :D

Psssst....Alffe

I BETTER not catch you peein' in your cup! :D

:D Your so bad! And I wasn't talking about me. :D

Brain 'Pacemaker' Tickles Your Happy Nerve

Marty Graham http://www.wired.com/images/icon_email.gif05.23.07 | 2:00 AM
http://www.wired.com/images/article/...7/05/vagus.jpg http://www.wired.com/images/zoom.gif
The vagus nerve stimulator power pack is implanted near the collarbone, and wired to the left side nerve -- always the left, since the right side goes directly to the heart.
Illustration: Cyberonics Inc.


SAN DIEGO -- A novel medical technique that smuggles an electrical charge into the brain through the vagus nerve is proving at least as effective as medication in controlling severe depression, psychiatrists say.
In vagus nerve stimulation, or VNS, a two-inch diameter, .25 inch thick disk is surgically tucked under the skin near the left collarbone, then wired upward to the vagus nerve in the neck. The battery-operated disk delivers intermittent, rhythmic pulses to the nerve -- whose name means "wandering" in Latin -- that reaches a half dozen areas of the brain critical to treating depression, according to Dr. Darin Dougherty of Massachusetts General Hospital.
"Instead of prescribing milligrams I'm prescribing milliamps," Dougherty says. The implanted disc is programmed and reprogrammed with a wand held over the skin. Data on each patient about the intensity and frequency of the pulse and device settings is stored in individual memory cards slotted into in a handheld computer linked to the wand.
VNS has been used for 10 years to treat epilepsy, where it can cut the number of seizures for some patients by about 40 percent. Doctors began to suspect it held potential for treating severe depression when patients clung to the device, even when it wasn't helping their epilepsy.
"We asked (epilepsy) patients who weren't being helped if we could remove the device and by and large, the patients said, 'No, no, don't take this away,'" says Dr. Mitchel Kling of the National Institutes for Health. "In some cases where there wasn't good seizure control, patients' mood problems stabilized."
The technique won FDA approval as a depression treatment in July 2005. Since then, about 3,000 depression patients have been wired, according to Cyberonics, the Houston-based manufacturer of the device. Doctors gathered at the American Psychiatric Association conference here say they've seen measurable results.
In an October 2005 study, about a third of the severely depressed patients responded well, and almost half went into remission. Ninety-one percent maintained their recovery nine months later, and some patients who didn't report immediate benefits showed improvement and even remission later on.
Researchers know the treatment stimulates norepinephrine and serotonin centers, now treated with pharma at a tepid success rate, and increases blood flow and neuron activity. But they candidly say they don't fully understand why VNS works.
Once healed from surgery, patients report their voices get gravelly during the pulse cycle, usually five of every 30 seconds. If that becomes a problem -- during public speaking, for example -- the device is designed with an off-switch: The patient can suspend the unit by placing a magnet over it, Dougherty says.
Batteries last eight to 12 years, Dougherty says, and drawbacks include a requirement that the patient avoid physical therapy ultrasounds that can heat up the wiring and damage the nerve -- though diagnostic ultrasound works fine -- and problems getting a full body MRI.
The implant neatly sidesteps one of the biggest problem of treating depression: the documented tendency for patients to abandon treatment over side effects or because they feel better.
if (typeof drawDropCap == "function") { var arrExcludeDivs = new Array("article_itemlist"); drawDropCap("articletext", arrExcludeDivs); }
http://www.wired.com/images/reddit_icon1.gif http://www.wired.com/images/plus_icon1.gif Add this to:
Digg
Del.icio.us
Sphere





See Also: The Magnetic Brain Stimulator Will See You Now
Pentagon to Merge Next-Gen Binoculars With Soldiers' Brains
This Is Your Brain on Electricity
Wired 15.03: A Shock to the System
TMS: Twilight Zone Science?


Search Wired
Top Stories Magazine Wired Blogs All Wired

Related Topics:
Med-Tech , Health





//

:hug: Hi BJ ...... I just got home late last night from my holiday with my kids.

I'm glad you are going to try something new and I sure hope it goes well for you. I will be interested to hear about it - if you want to talk about it.

take care ........ :hug:

Just wanted to leave you a hug today BJ...:hug:

BJ,
I've been thinking about you and couldn't shake this uneasy feeling that something was not right. So I did a search for you here and read through your posts to see where you were at....... I had no idea that you were going through such difficult times. I wish I had looked for you earlier, I'm sorry, I just didn't know that I could do such a search here. I'm still new to this kind of thing ~'.'~

I am not real familiar with ECT therapy other than what I have read on the net. I have had some dental patients tell me that they went through the treatments for various reasons, but it wasn't something that I discussed with them in any detail. Perhaps I should have and I will certainly be more attentive to this subject in the future.

I really just want you to know that I'm thinking about you and I wish for you a healthy, stable outcome. I pray that these treatments provide you with the ability to lead a happy life and free you from the anxieties that cause you such despair.

You can see from all of these posts that you are never, ever alone! Sending you very BIG...... BIG........ hugs!! Please visit us soon ~'.'~

Bryanna

BJ - I am sorry you are having such a long, rough time. I applaud you for hanging in there...and working hard to get better.

My daughter is 25 and had ECT this past year. I think she would say her experience was pretty good - she did have some temporary short term memory loss. She was tired the day of the treatment (because of the sedation) and had some minor muscle soreness but it was helped by some advil.

I know it is a scary thought - I was scared for her - but it takes a brave and determined person to do what you have to do to get improvement.

Please keep us posted. It is clear that you have many who love you and want you around a very long time!

Yo BJ - Can ya hear us NOW? :p :D