i am going to cancel my next two therapy appointments
 

although he knows a great deal about Judaism he sh@TS as a therapist.
on monday i am going to cancel next two appointments with him. Between my parents and him I was up practically the whole night feeling so angry. He was making me feel very vicious..
I have mentioned to him that i go for food when I am depressed. Last time his therapeutic response was that he liked brown cow yogurt because it has cream on top but it is high in calories. he is 63.
i have a 22 year old caseworker who has been on vacation for two weeks. she makes me feel good but at the end of the semester she will stop. Previously I had another young caseworker from Dorot whom I also found very soothing and optimistic.
I tried hard but I couldn't remember my mother kissing or hugging me or my sister. I also went through a period where I would run around around the house yelling kill me kill me that is what you want and she kept running after me and shutting the windows. Of course she served as president of the woman's republican of Hartford, president of the PtA and head of the brownies.

I don't know what to say. I understand wanting to cancel appointments. I'm struggling with that myself. Not that i have an uncaring therapist, i just don't know how much I'm getting from it. Well, i mean it costs money you know and it needs to be helping me. Anyway, while normally I'd say go with your gut and i still do, i just have a bit of hesitation because maybe the therapists do know more about us than we know about ourselves? I don't know anymore. Sorry if this was all utterly unhelpful. Thinking out loud again.

i was a therapist for children and their parents. I was very good. this doesn't cost me any money. you can't believe how upset he got me. he really doesn't go in depth about my many issues. i bet he hasn't even heard of Jung. what good does do it do for me to hear he likes brown cow yogurt with cream on top.
fondly.
bobby

Bobby

I think you need maybe to talk to your casemanager about whether there
might be a different maybe younger therapist you could talk to. Explaining
this therapist wants to talk about food all the time, and it isn't something
you can explain but he isn't listening when you ask not to talk about it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i will do that on monday. it isn't that he talks about food all the time but I found it very inappropriate that instead of helping me with my issue he skipped over that and just talked about himself. He keeps on pushing dumb movies and I keep on saying I don't like them.
I mentioned that I feel all alone not lonely and he didn't get it. He suggested a nursing home or something like that so I won't be alone. He doesn't get it.
I would have to leave my cats and I would feel even more alone. He is such an *** not to know that being with strangers enhance the feelings about being isolated..
love
bobby

Bobby

The thread you wrote is exactly what you need to tell the case worker.

And explain how the other one the intern talks to you and listens.
And that the people that call you and listen because they care are
listening not just telling you things they think would work for a person
of your age period. Like a nursing home.

I totally get what you are saying.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thank you so much.
love
bobby

i know it is crazy but i decided to skip my antidepressant and see what happens. i just ordered magnesium glycinate. two psychiatrists used antihistamines to get off of klonopin. before.
i want to see if i can get along without a psychiatrist.
i woke up feeling good. getting out all that anger really helped.

Bobby

There is nothing wrong with trying to get off all the medication.
But do me a favor look up how to slowly go off that particular medication
because you have been on it a longer time than the other two you
just went off of. And I don't want you to crash later because you tried to
go off too fast.

It might even be for a week that you need to take it every other day
and then try every three days. Then see if you can not take it at all.

Or if you take it twice a day take it just once a day for a week. And
then the next week just every other week. And then every third
day. And then keep it if you start getting were you feel you need it.

Donna

hi
i just took a tiny bit this morning and will take a tiny bit tonite. next week i will only a tiny dose only once a week.
love
bobby

Sounds good Bobby.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i am so scared and my stomach has been hurting all yesterday and today.
my therapist wrote back and said we had to discuss why i want another therapist or else they won't give me another. that agency is where i get my pills from and if they don't keep me i don't know what to

i skipped my antidepressant for a day. it really makes a difference. i feel much better so i know i need it.
I really liked my last psychiatrist but i was trying to save money because he charges 60 dollars to write the monthly klonopin script besides charging 150 dollar for a 5 or 10 minute session. which was a special for patients that had been on medicare. if i go back to him i don't know what he will charge..
pudgy ate some food. i moved away from where i was spraying for roaches. she wouldn't touch it. this morning i moved right near the computer and she ate some.

just spoke with my caseworker and asked what to say to bruce, she said
I do not feel comfortable and it is not working out with both us i was expecting more from the session. could i have a female therapist.

Bobby

I honestly think your case manager gave you some good advice.

I also think you might do better with a woman therapist to talk
to. Also when you get a new therapist. Write out exactly what
you would like to explain.

I've been forgetting again lately.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Also I think one of the big reason's your stomach starts hurting is
that you start thinking about what you need to do. And you don't
exactly have anyone to talk it out with. So you just keep inside
your head and body so it makes your stomach hurt, instead of your head.

So I think when you start to get anxious and need to get rid of the
thoughts you have a stomach hurting. I think its partially a sign
you are thinking of something that you don't want to do or are
not liking to do.

I hope things are good for you.

Hope they can get you a new therapist and you like her.

Also, i think Donna might be on to something about your stomach. I know from experience that it's not always in our control or not all of it, but i do know that venting helps and having that outlet for your worries and concerns and/or even trying not to have worry in your life. Calming exercises might help, rethinking unpleasant situations as pleasant ones. There are several exercises available in the dbt practice. Ask your therapist or clinic if they offer dbt (its something like Dilectal Behavorial Therapy I always forget the d part.)

Hugs*

hi,
my caseworker said to say
I do not feel comfortable and it is not working out with both of us i was expecting more from the session. could i have a female therapist.

my ibs started right after suri died two years ago. it traumatized me even though we talked for 3 1/2 years knowing she had breast cancer and then knowing she was going to die when she had a spot on her lung.
no stomach ache today or this morning. i had chicken broth and two hard boiled eggs and two slices of toast.
love
bobby

Bobby

I wonder if you might be right on about that. Its a heart ache, instead
of a heart attack, because she died. So maybe part of the problem
is that because you can't exactly feel a heart ache physically, its a stomach
ache. Because when you got anxious, upset or just any of these feelings
you knew you could talk to Suri about it.

Could you start by talking to Suri in heaven a little each day now. To tell
her what is going on. Yes, she can't answer in the normal way. But she
will figure out a way to answer you. Maybe just with the fact that the
ache's will start to diminish faster. Hopefully at least. Also do you know
one food you can get that she really enjoyed, that you would be willing
to eat or a tea that you would be willing to serve yourself once a week
just for you and her to have a memory with. Even maybe ask your helper
have a cup with you too.

that is a splendid idea. when we worked together we mostly went for kosher pizza.
I don't think i should do that. I can't remember what she used to eat except ice cream
love,
bobby

Bobby

Then even though your not trying to eat ice cream maybe
you should keep some. And eat it at times.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

thanks. i cancelled my therapist and have to wait a week or week and a half to see if they will give me a new therapist.
on top that Cecilia's friend left a message asking if i had infprmation and then told me he tested positive for covid. he wore a mask when i was with him.

That's a worry bobby. Was he in your home visiting you?

yes he was in my apartment for a little and then I went with him to Cecilia's apartment for a little, He was wearing a mask.
For a while now I am getting stomachs in the day besides the night. I think it is trapped gas. I am going to start drinking a lot of water. my doctor said take maalox. I don't know what to do about P.T.
now I am also in limbo about the agency assigning me a new therapist so I can use their nurse practitioner for medication.
fondly,
bobby

i just drank a lot of water and my stomach stopped hurting. from now on i will do it every day

I was really out of it yesterday. my friend robert has a mild case of covid not the other robert. i wasn't exposed.
i was really out of it yesterday. telling my therapist was quitting and his asking me why really through me

Bobby

I would cancel any PT you have this week letting your therapist know
you were trace contact with someone who has been diagnosed with
covid, but that you have no symptoms, and that you feel fine.

But are being safe for everyone, that could come into contact with
you for this week. And that you would like to wait till say give a
date of the next therapy session to have them back. Making sure
they realize you have had all the covid vaccinations you can have so
far.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

i wasn't exposed

Good Bobby.

I'm so glad you weren't.

Donna :hug::grouphug: