Hi Everyone,
 

I took a break for awhile.

I wanted to say thanks for the emails and calls. I took the break time to get my computer cleaned out and repaired. When I got back on here I was happy to see all of the emails and PMs from all of my friends. Thanks for the good thoughts, all of you.

I am doing ok. I'm on oxygen at night due to breathing problems. I couldn't use the sleep apnea machine due to the VNS wires around my vegal nerve causing me to stop breathing at night. They opted just for oxygen.

I'm still having trouble with my feet and my Dr. wants me to see my hand surgeon for my middle finger to get the nerve released. I'm not ready for that myself right now.

Bill was gone 10 months today and that is still very hard. I know it takes time.

I will try to read up on how everyone is. Mark, I did hear about you and I am so sorry for what you are going through and I will keep you in my prayers. Vicc, I'm ok. Thanks for the good thoughts and I have only good thoughts of you.

Hope the rest of you are hanging in and doing better.

Ada

Hello Ada,


I am glad that your night time breathing problems have been solved. :)
I hope you can surround yourself with people who will provide comfort and support for you at this 10 month anniversary of Bill's passing.
My thoughts are with you.
Tayla:hug:

Hi Ada,

I pretty much stopped posting for a while and completely lost track of what was going on in people's lives here, then I came back and after a while noticed you weren't posting.

I think of you a lot, and know from some of your other posts that you were fighting an intractible depression before Bill passed. I know how depression affects every aspect of our lives and damage our health, so when I finally learned you had stopped posting, my concern grew.

I'm so glad to see you posting again...Vic

Ada!
 

I too was gettin a bit worried about ya :winky:

So glad you posted up cause I was about to send the web possie to see if you were ok :D

I have to go in for the sleep over to get fitted for the sleep machine. Im really not looking forward to it. It is a real drag to have to put on a bunch of gear every night. We shall see what they give me.

Love ya sooo much!
Hugs :hug:

i wondered what happened to you! i haven't been posting, but i check in to read the posts and haven't seen you...

i'm praying for you!

shalom & love,
angie

Ada
 

Glad you are connected to us again!! Computers are wonderful when they do everything we want them to do, otherwise they can be a pain!! I hope you are reliving happy times that you spend together with your huband and the day passes gently. Are you getting restful sleep now? I know that is very important to our overall health. Keep us posted to how you are doing, you are in our thoughts always, just nice to read your posts!!!:hug:Carose

Hi all,
 

Thanks so much for the support.

Tayla, so far my sleep is better but not where it should be. My Dr. says I really need to be using the sleep apnea machine but the respertory therapist thinks it's not a good ideal. When I stop breathing at night, I have what she describes at the death rattle and it wakes me up so they think it's not safe for me to be on the machine.

The oxygen does seem to help me but the bladder problems still wake me up along with trying to figure out what side to sleep on. The VNS causes me not to be able to sleep on the left side and the RSD and TOS keeps me from sleeping on the right side. I'm still learning how to be a back sleeper.

Vicc, the depression has been a part of me ever since I was a child. Our hopes was that the VNS would help me but at this point it has caused more problems then helped. At times I want to just turn it off, at others I want to have it turned up. I don't give up to easily. It use to be I couldn't say that.
I have come along way with my mental strength.

I am glad you are back and I do know how hard things are for you at this point. Your research keeps you going and I think that is so great. My brain doesn't function to a point that I can do that. I am reading a book right now called, The Power of Now. My Dr. gave it to me to read and I have to reread it so many times to understand what I'm reading. Some of it is over my head anyway. As I told him yesterday, this guy doesn't cover a person in cronic pain and how they can deal with the NOW. At times I want to throw that book across the room. Luckily my Dr. can relate to me because he is dealing with cronic pain now himself, not that I want him to be dealing with it. After sticking by me for 17+ years I don't want anything to happen to him. Losing people you love and care about is the hardest thing a person can go through.

Desi, my computer started running too slow and making a noise. I am hoping we got it fixed. For what it cost me it should be. My kids get me through losing Bill and my 2 Grandson's. I think though we are all trying to help each other and none of us are getting there. I know it takes time and I know I might never get over losing him. That's ok though. After almost 35 years you don't want to forget all of the good nor the bad.

Angie, I emailed you my dear. You are a good friend.

Carose, as I told Tayla, I do see a difference in my sleep and how I'm feeling. I think though what is so frustrating is that I still deal with the CFS. By 4 or 5 PM I am just gone. I can't do anything after that.

I am glad to see most everyone is still here. It makes me know that everyone is still doing their best to keep going through their RSD days.

Ada

Hey Ada!!! So glad to see you back here!!! (((((HUGS)))))
 

Ada,
I am glad your back. Hang in there. Everyone is here for you.

Sue K

Hi Jose,
 

Thanks for thinking of me. One thing I can say for sure over the years we have been together from the old forum to here, there are a lot of us that have formed such a bond that is as strong as family. Sometimes stronger. LOL

I emailed you first as soon as I opened up my emails. Had over 200 to deal with. I can't wait to hear about your trip. I do hope most all of it was good. I think any good we get out of our lives dealing with the pain in between is good. My kids have offered me a trip back home but at this point I won't do it. I want to be able to enjoy myself, right now I couldn't and I don't want to go there and pull anyone else down. My step-daughter wants me down there so badly. When I talk to her and my step-son though I can't help but think of Bill even more. I'm having trouble dealing with things and places we saw and did in the past when I see them now. The hardest part for me is the trip we use to take every summer to this one town. I didn't get to make it this year and also the trip through the mountain to see the aspens turning. I enjoyed having my sister up for a visit though.

I did finish that book. "The Power of Now" that my Dr. got me. It was a hard book to understand at times but part of it helped me. It's a selp help book. I'm lending it to a friend that wants to read it. Her therapist recommended it to her. She says a lot people she knows is reading it. When I get it back from her I will read it again to help understand it more. Sometimes it takes me a lot to understand things I read. I am getting better at it though.

Thanks to you Sue for welcoming me back. The break was good. I did get some things done. With school out this summer, I spent a lot of time with my boys. I have a treadmill now so I am using it everyday if just for a little bit. It seems it's easier to use then walking on concrete. I sure can't do that anymore.

As I said before I was so glad to see everyone on here, knowing they are doing as well as possible and sorry that the new ones have had to come on here due to the pain that just never has an end.

Ada